FURTHER 
INMSCRETIONS 


A  WOMAN  OF 
NO  IMPORTANCE 


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BY    THE    SAME    AUTHOR 

MEMORIES  DISCREET 
AND  INDISCRE!  T 

ILLUSTRATED,  $5.00  NET 

E.   P.   BUTTON  &   COMPANY 

NEW   YORK 


Digitized  by  the  Internet  Archive 

in  2008  with  funding  from 

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Sir  Frank  Lockwood's  Sketch  During  the  Wood  V.  Cox  Case 
(From  the  original) 


FURTHER 
INDISCRETIONS 

BY 

A  WOMAN  OF  NO 
IMPORTANCE 

ILLUSTRATED 


N,EW  YORK 
E.  P.  DUTTON  &  COMPANY 

68i   FIFTH  AVENUE 


Copyright,  1918, 
By  E.  p.  button  &  COMPANY 


All  Rights  Reserved 


Printed  in  the  United  States  of  America 


CONTENTS 

CHAPTER  I 

Beautiful  Women  of  the  Eighties — Mrs.  Langtry  as  a  Girl — The 
Dean  of  Jersey  Fights  Some  Neighbours — Mr.  Abingdon 
Baird — At  a  Dinner  Party — His  "Damned  Lawyers" — Mrs. 
Langtry  on  the  Stage — A  Cruel  Riddle — The  Marquess  of 
Hastings — His ' '  Pocket  Venus ' ' — Donington  of  Yesterday  and 
To-day — Rtmaway  German  Prisoners — Captured — The  Late 
Colonel  North's  Picture  Gallery — Durham  and  Chetwynd 
Row — Wood  versus  Cox — Sir  Frank  Lockwood's  Sketch  in 
Court — Sir  George  Chetwynd — The  Jubilee  Plxmger— Some 
Bets I 

CHAPTER  II 

Dr.  Godson's  Deal  with  an  Earl — Wliat  He  Did  with  His  Pees — 
His  Words  with  the  Dowager  Lady  Lonsdale — Dr.  West's 
Idea  of  Tact — Lord  Lister  Mends  Some  Broken  Bones — Au- 
thor Introduces  Him  to  Sir  Monier  Williams — Anaesthetics  in 
Pharaoh's  Time — Sir  William  Jeniier  and  His  Son — Sir  Wil- 
liam Visits  the  King — Sir  James  Paget 's  Views  of  Duty — Dr. 
Wilkie  Collins  in  Trouble — Some  Awkward  Moments — A 
Country  Practitioner's  Goodness — His  Reward — Dr.  Yorke- 
Davies  and  the  Prince  of  Wales  (King  Edward  VII) — The 
Prince  Has  Tea  with  the  Author — Meets  with  a  Slight  Acci- 
dent— Sir  Maurice  Fitzgerald — Cardinal  Vaughan  Mistaken 
for  Someone  Else — The  Fate  of  Dr.  Lavis  of  Beaulieu     .     .       28 

CHAPTER  III 

I  Make  a  List  of  People's  Kinks — And  Lose  It — Lord  Exmouth's 
Peculiarities — A  Dinner  with  a  Professor — His  Feelings  Are 
Hurt— A  Colonel  Gets  Kicked— A  Tactful  Official's  Untactful 
Wife — A  Lady  with  a  Religious  Mania — She  Speaks  Her  Mind 
in  Church — An  Organ-Grinder  Viscount — Lord  Poulett's 
Dream — Some  Varieties  of  Fabricators 54 

CHAPTER  IV 

The  Tempers  of  Sporting  People — "  Heel-Tap  "  Days  in  the  North- 
umberland Yeomanry — Mr.  Camaby  Forster  as  Master  of  the 
Ledbury— His  Htmt  Servants'  Awe  of  Him— Lady  Mary 
Hamilton's  PoptUarity — The  Duke  of  Hamilton's  Cure  for 
Gout — The  Duke  at  Oxford,  His  Generous  Nature— Starts  a 
Money-lending  Business — Why  He  Relinquished  It — The 
Grand  National  of  1867— A  Bet  the  Night  Before— How  He 


vi  CONTENTS 

PAGE 

Paid  It — A  Mistake  over  a  Horse's  Weight  at  Newmarket — 
His  Grace's  Sporting  Garments — One  of  His  Favourite  Jock- 
eys— The  Duke  Gives  Custance  a  Present  of  a  Horse — It  Ob- 
jects to  Physic  and  Custance  Has  to  Hide— The  Duke's  Harri- 
ers at  Easton— A  Favourite  Horse  Named  "Safe  Coach" — 
He  Carries  a  Foreign  Guest  Who  Does  Not  Enjoy  His  Ride — 
The  Duke's  Generosity  to  a  Sporting  Parson — A  West  Coun- 
try Master's  Eccentricities — The  Health  of  a  Welsh  M.F.H. — 
A  Little  Tragedy  in  the  Hunting  Field 75 

CHAPTER  V 

Mr.  Comey  Grain  at  Home  and  Elsewhere — He  and  Captain 
Beaumont  Perpetrate  a  Joke — With  the  Fire  Brigade  in 
Southwark  Bridge  Road — An  Accident  to  Captain  Beaumont 
— A  Labouchere  and  Lawson  Row — How  It  Ended — Mr. 
Labouchere  at  Home — How  He  Treated  a  Guest — Asked  Why 
He  Called  His  Paper  Truth — His  Reply — After-dinner 
Tableaux — Mr.  Augustus  Harris  Personates  Royalty — Mr. 
Comey  Grain  as  "Rags  and  Chatters" — A  Mock  Court- 
Martial — Execution  Effected  on  a  Princeling — Mr.  Joseph 
Chamberlain  as  I  Knew  Him — In  a  Toy-shop — Fond  of  Chil- 
dren— Letty  Lind  and  Her  "Wages " — Marion  Hood  and  Her 
Hair 96 

CHAPTER  VI 

A  Long-forgotten  Law  Case — An  Anomalous  Finding — A  Mock 
Marriage — Ruin — The  Attitude  of  the  Church — Reparation, 
Too  Late — Sudden  Death  and  a  Suicide — Ivord  Cathcart 
Goes  Lame,  Explains  the  Reason — Lord  (Greenock  Admires 
the  Fair  Sex — Lady  Sykes'  Peculiarities — Contretemps  at  a 
Dinner  Party — She  Drives  White  Donkeys  Tandem — Sir  Tat- 
ton  Sykes  and  His  Greatcoats — Mr.  Glynn  Vivian  Objects  to 
Coloured  Grasses  and  Locks  up  the  Silver — Lady  Caroline 
Maddon  and  Her  Daughter — A  Search  for  Eligible  Young 
Men — An  After-dinner  Recitation 122 

CHAPTER  VII 

The  Duchess  of  Montrose — Her  Three  Husbands — Pigeon  Shoot- 
ing at  Hurlingham — Queen  Victoria's  Veto — The  Duchess 
Has  a  Toss — She  Speaks  Her  Mind — The  Prince  of  Wales 
an  Eye-witness — The  Prince  Tries  to  Avoid  a  Racing  Rum- 
pus— Too  Late — Some  Curious  Betting  Transactions — The 
Duchess  Expresses  Her  Opinion  of  Women — Women's  Clubs 
— Why  They  Are  Not  More  Successful — Some  Soap-lifters     142 

CHAPTER  VIII 

Some  Racing  Ladies — Stakes  Given  to  the  Red  Cross  Fund — 
Prince  Soltykoff  a  Faithful  Friend — Lord  Alfred  Paget  Patron 
of  the  Theatre — Queen  Alexandra's  Interest  in  Racing — Her 
Sympathy  and  Enjoyment  of  a  Joke — In  Her  Home  at  Sand- 
ringham — The  Fatigue  of  Ladies-in- Waiting — Lady  Maccles- 


CONTENTS  vii 

PAOB 

field  and  Bishop  Wilberforce — Lady  Ely  Asked  Her  Favour- 
ites at  Court — The  German  Emperor  at  Osborne — Queen 
Victoria  and  John  Brown — The  Duke  of  Connaught's  Early 
Speech-making — Mr.  Bolckow  the  Duke's  Host  at  Marton — 
Starving  Amidst  Plenty — A  Tactful  Host i6o 

CHAPTER  IX 

Some  of  the  Author's  Loves — Old  Joseph  and  His  Ewe-Lamb — 
Homeless  Ruben  Stride — His  Terqperament  and  Philosophy 
— Brusher  Mills,  the  Snake  Charmer — His  Home-made 
Abode — A  Temple  of  Romance — A  Storehouse  of  Treasures — 
A  Lovish  Baptist  Minister — His  Love  Letter — Author's  Van- 
ity Receives  a  Rude  Shock — Her  Successor 177 

CHAPTER  X 

Prom  My  Sketch  Book — Some  BriUiant  Conversationalists — Host- 
esses and  Fascinating  Women — Curious  Proceedings  During  a 
Divorce  Case — Sir  Eyre  Shaw  Decollete — Pectdiarities  of  the 
Late  Duchess  of  Cleveland — An  Historic  House  in  Grafton 
Street — Mr.  A.  J.  Balfour  Reviews  Himself  as  Undergraduate 
and  Prime  Minister — He  Does  Not  Love  the  Crowd — Colonel 
Bum,  King's  Messenger — His  Farewell  Bouquet — Major 
Slade's  Many  Fiancees — The  Maharajah  of  Cooch  Behar — 
As  Sportsman,  Ruler,  and  Ladies'  Man — A  Sikh  Gentleman's 
Disgust — Sir  Charles  Monro's  Views  of  Whatis  Good  for  India 
— The  Prime  Minister  of  Rewar  Wants  Something  but  Does 
Not  Get  It — Prince  Bismarck  and  the  Author— A  Curious 
Introduction ^93 

CHAPTER  XI 

The  Waterloo  Ball — Lady  Sophia  Cecil  Revisits  Goodwood — Lady 
de  Ros  Buckles  on  the  Duke  of  Wellington's  Sword— Lady 
Sophia's  Christmas  Dinner— The  "Poor  Yellow  Puppy!"— 
A  Fishing  Expedition — An  Exciting  Drive — Tea  with  the 
Minister — His  Housekeeper  is  Piqued  with  Him — A  Struggle 
with  a  Salmon— Cawnpore  as  It  Was— A  Drive  in  a  Bullock 
Cart— A  Thieving  Crow— Sir  Owen  Burne— Pained  with  the 
Duke  of  Cambridge — Some  Appointments — Sir  Owen's  Den 
—His  Difficulties  with  the  Shah  of  Persia— Lord  Shaftesbury 
Scolding— A  Contretemps  between  Bishop  and  Pnze-fighters 
at  Buckingham  Palace ^^^ 

CHAPTER  XII 

The  Pantechnicon  on  Fire— Caught  in  the  Crowd— Unpleasant 
Experiences— A  Goat  to  the  Rescue— Another  Alarm  on 
Board  Ship;  Neariy  Wrecked— A  Calcutta  Merchant  Loses 
His  Head— Author  Helps  Him  to  Save  His  Soul— King  Ed- 
ward VII's  Coronation— A  Long  Wait— The  Procession- 
Archbishop  of  Canterbury  Overtired— The  King  Helps  Hun-- 
The  King  Kisses  His  Son— Emotional  Moments— A  Funeral 
at  Sea— Some  Love  Affairs— How  They  Were  Arranged— One 


viii  CONTENTS 


PACK 


of  the  Saddest  Sights  in  Life — A  General  and  His  Son  Aspire 
to  the  Hand  of  Same  Lady — Bishop  Warburton's  Views  of 
Life 330 

CHAPTER  XIII 

The  Marquess  of  Queensberry  Has  a  Row  with  a  Pugilist — What 
Sir  Claude  de  Crespigny  Thought  of  Him — A  Row  on  a  Race- 
course— A  Friend  for  Life — A  Long  Ride — Breeches  and 
Boots  Cut  Off — The  Queensberry  Rules  Drawn  up  by  Some- 
one Else — A  Steeplechase  on  Foot  with  Fred  Cotton — A  Swim 
in  the  Night — Journey  Minus  Clothes — Ferryman's  Surprise 
— Lady  Queensberry — England  Going  to  the  Dogs — Some 
Capable  Women — The  First  Duke  of  Westminster — Some  of 
His  Race-horses — A  Tragedy — And  a  Rumpus — Lord  Bramp- 
ton to  the  Rescue — Some  of  the  Duke's  Economies — "Or- 
monde" at  a  Garden  Party 245 

CHAPTER  XIV 

The  Late  Earl  of  Guildford — Has  a  Difference  with  Civic  Officials 
— Curious  Racing  Arrangements — A  Scared  Showman — 
Twelfth  Earl  of  Winchelsea  Makes  Friends  with  Moses — Lord 
Bulwer  Lytton — His  Appearance — Work — And  Treatment  of 
His  Wife— A  Story  of  His  Son— The  Rev.  E.  Bumaby  and  the 
Late  Marquess  of  Exeter — A  Primrose  Ball — "The  Ruffian" 
— Mr.  Bumaby  Falls  Out  with  Lord  Kainnaird — What  They 
Said — A  Little  Faux-pas  in  "The  House" — Arthur  Orton's 
Tichbome  Signature — His  Promises — Gives  Himself  Away — • 
Mr.  Hawkins  Changes  His  Mind — Lord  Brampton  in  Court 
and  on  the  Race-course — Lady  Harborough's  Complacency — 
Mr.  Bumaby  at  Longleat — Prays  for  Departed  King — 
Guinea-pig  Jack — An  Exciting  Drive — Lord  Beaconsfield — 
In  His  Bath — His  Wife's  Advice — His  Last  Moments — His 
Rudeness — Mr.  Coningsby  Disraeli 263 

CHAPTER  XV 

Victor  Hugo  on  Our  Judicial  System — Sir  Howard  Vincent  and  Sir 
Fitzjames  Stephens'  Opinions — "Apple-pip  Kelly"  Goes  to 
Make  Love — Lord  Chief  Justice  Tindal  Is  Funny — A  Bombay 
Official  Makes  an  Ass  of  Himself — A  Prudish  Man  Doing  War 
Work — A  Nurse  Teases  Him — Poking  Fun  at  Authorities  and 
Result — A  Youthful  Bride  in  Zeppelin  Raid — A  Bigwig's 
Views  on  Duty — Chummy  Canadians  and  Their  Colonel — A 
Puzzling  Accent — General  Sir  Julian  Byng  on  the  Dardanelles 
Question — Mr.  Labouchere  Wanted — Mr.  Gibson  Bowles 
Busy  in  "The  House" 285 

CHAPTER  XVI 

Some  Celebrated  Women — Lady  Ely,  Lady  Molesworth  and  Skit- 
ties— The  Prince  of  Wales— Lady  Molesworth  and  Paddy 
Green  at  Evans'  Supper  Rooms — A  Row  in  the  Quom  Coun- 
try— Skittles  Has  the  Last  Word — Belgravian  Mother's  La- 


CONTENTS  ix 

ment — Lady  Stamford,  Girton,  and  Robert  Peck — Lady  Car- 
digan Is  Surprising — Mrs.  Postlethwaite  and  Her  Friends — 
Mr.  Gladstone  and  Beaconsfield — She  Gives  Him  the  Kiss  of 
Peace — No  Old  Ladies — Sad  Memories — Three  First-class 
Misdemeanants — HoUoway  Jail — Flora  Annie  Steel  and 
Helen  Mathers — Their  Writings — A  Dunce  or  Two — Differ- 
ent Etiquettes — The  Rev.  Evelyn  Burnaby  and  Mrs.  Whyte- 
Melville — He  Prescribes  for  Her 301 

CHAPTER  XVII 

General  Macbean  and  His  Royal  Playmates — A  Sporting  Essex 
Baronet  and  a  Neighbouring  Peer — A  Difference  of  Opinion — 
Uninvited  Wedding  Guests — Shopping  Under  Difficulties — 
Mr.  Graham  Gilmour — Some  of  His  Prophecies — How  They 
Were  Fulfilled — In  Trouble  with  the  Aero  Club — A  Clergy- 
man's Curious  Attitude — A  Fatal  Accident — Trophy-laden 
Officers — "  Chauffeurines  " — Their  Work,  Food,  and  Some 
Experiences — A  Changed  World — H.H.  Prince  Alexis  Dol- 
gorouki  and  His  Bride — A  Dolgorouki  for  the  Russian  Throne 
— Prince  Charlie  at  Braemar  Castle 320 

CHAPTER  XVIII 

General  Sir  Francis  and  Lady  Lloyd — Lord  D'Abemon  Hard  at 
Work  in  Egypt — The  Rev.  George  Wilkinson  in  Eaton  Square 
— His  Principles  and  a  Royal  Command — A  Naughty  Clergy- 
man— Ate  His  Poultices — The  Duchess  of  Devonshire's  Ball 
— People  Still  Paying  the  Bills — Madame  de  Falbe  at  Luton 
Hoo — One  of  Her  Guests  and  a  Comforter — An  Official  View 
of  Lord  Kitchener's  Conduct  versus  the  Author's — An  Offi- 
cial's View  of  Sir  Ian  Hamilton's  Work — Sir  Charles  Douglas 
Lectures  Sir  Ian  Hamilton — Mothers  of  Men 339 


ILLUSTRATIONS 

Sir  Frank  Lockwood's  Sketch  during  the  Wood  v.  Cox 
Case Frontispiece 

TO  FACE  PACE 

Mrs.  Langtry 8 

The  Late  Marquess  of  Hastings  Explaining  His  Betting 

Book  to  his  Bride 14 

Donnington  Hall 18 

Sir  George  Chetwynd  of  Newmarket  Heath 24 

Sir  William  Jenner 34 

Sir  James  Paget 36 

Dr.  Nathaniel  Yorke-Davies 46 

The  Sixth  Earl  Poulett 68 

The  Twelfth  Duke  of  Hamilton        78 

Mr.  Corney  Grain 98 

Mr.  Inderwick,  Q.C 108 

Sir  Augustus  Harris no 

The  Third  Earl  Cathcart i34 

The  Duchess  of  Montrose 142 

The  Earl  of  Coventry 148 

Lady  Nelson 160 

Reuben  Stride,  a  Nineteenth-Century  Philosopher       .     .  182 

Brusher  Mills  of  the  New  Forest 186 

Brusher  Mills'  Home  in  the  New  Forest 188 

Sir  William  Harcourt  in  his  Young  Days 200 

Sir  William  Harcourt  AS  A  "  Retired  Leader  "      ....  202 

The  Maharajah  of  Cooch  Behar 204 

The  Well  at  Cawnpore;   photographed  during  the  Mutiny  220 

xi 


xii  ILLUSTRATIONS 

TO  FACE  PAGE 

The  Eighth  Marquess  of  Queensberry 246 

The  Rev.  Evelyn  Burnaby 272 

The  Claimant's  Letter,  taken  from  the  Originai.     .     .     .  274 

Mr.  Graham  Gilmour      . 324 

H.H.  Prince  Alexis  Dolgorouki 334 

H.H.  Princess  Alexis  Dolgorouki 336 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 


CHAPTER  I 

Beautiful  Women  of  the  Eighties — Mrs.  Langtry  as  a  Girl — 
The  Dean  of  Jersey  Fights  Some  Neighbours — Mr. 
Abingdon  Baird — At  a  Dinner  Party — His  "Damned 
Lawyers" — Mrs.  Langtry  on  the  Stage — ^A  Cruel  Riddle 
— The  Marquess  of  Hastings — His  Pocket  Venus — Don- 
ington  of  Yesterday  and  To-day — Runaway  German 
Prisoners — Captured — The  Late  Colonel  North's  Picture 
Gallery — Durham  and  Chetwynd  Row — Wood  versus 
Cox — Sir  Frank  Lockwood's  Sketch  in  Court — Si 
George  Chetwynd — The  Jubilee  Plunger — Some  Bets. 

I  HAVE  made  a  discovery!  To  write  a  book 
is  in  itself  injudicious,  but  when  you  call  it, 
as  I  did,  Memories  Discreet  and  Indiscreet, 
by  a  Woman  of  no  Importance,  it  becomes  a  blazing 
indiscretion. 

My  friends  cavil  at  my  nom  de  guerre  and  my 
discretion,  and  in  return  I  have  tried  to  meet  their 
wishes. 

It  is  from  the  unknown  that  the  greatest  sur- 
prises spring.  Amongst  the  shoal  of  letters  my 
book  has  brought  me  there  are  many  of  kindness, 
others  of  reproach  from  those  who  were  omitted 


2  FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

and  think  they  should  have  been  included  (although 
they  do  not  know  even  who  I  am).  Others  who 
complain  that  while  discretion  is  the  better  part  of 
valour  it  should  have  no  place  in  Memories.  They 
expected  apparently  ''confessions" — stories,  that 
would  shake  the  thrones  of  Europe — such  as  are 
left:  anecdotes  about  celebrities  via  the  butlers' 
pantry  and  the  back-stairs. 

It  seems  to  be  the  general  opinion  that  the  word 
Discreet  and  what  it  stands  for  is  superfluous  and, 
in  consequence,  I  have  left  it  out.  I  have  striven  to 
compose  my  little  concerts  in  the  brighter  keys. 

Each  successive  generation  thinks  there  never 
has  been  and  never  will  be  such  soldiers,  sailors, 
actors,  actresses,  and  beautiful  women  again  as 
they  have  seen  in  their  day.  We  grew  impatient 
with  our  old  folk  when  they  told  us  there  were  none 
to  compare  with  the  people  of  their  time,  and  lo! 
in  the  autumn  of  our  days  we  say  exactly  what  they 
did,  and  no  doubt  we  shall  be  ridiculed  in  much  the 
same  way  as  we  ridiculed  our  elders  and  betters. 
History  has  a  way  of  repeating  itself. 

For  instance,  I  feel  sure  that  never  again  will 
there  be  so  many  beautiful  women  as  there  were 
in  the  eighties ;  certainly  I  have  seen  nothing  at  the 
present  time  to  compare  with  the  "Professional 
Beauties,"  as  they  were  called. 

Mrs.  Langtry's  name  was  at  one  time  on  every- 
body's lips,  and  her  photograph  in  many  shop  win- 
dows, on  every  hand  we  heard  of  her  beauty, 
charming  manners  and  other  stories.     Her  golden 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS  3 

brown  hair,  violet-blue  eyes  and  classic  features 
surmounting  a  perfect  neck  and  shoulders,  threw 
up  by  contrast  the  dark-haired,  sad  and  pathetic 
brown  eyed  Mrs.  Wheeler  the  more  striking. 

Mrs.  Brown-Potter,  Mrs.  R.  Webster,  Mrs. 
Cornwallis  West  were  also  ''professional  beauties" 
at  that  time.  The  latter  was  perhaps  the  most  dis- 
creet, as  she  was  seldom  seen  without  her  husband, 
as  often  as  not  leaning  on  his  arm. 

She  was  immensely  admired  about  the  time  I 
was  married.  Lord  Rossmore  writing  from  Ire- 
land to  a  friend  said  he  had  been  in  a  seventh 
heaven  at  a  ball  the  night  before  as  Mrs.  Corn- 
wallis West  had  condescended  to  dance  with  him. 
Indeed,  he  had  been  so  happy  that  he  had  failed  to 
notice  the  floor  was  empty,  and  not  until  he  had  col- 
lided with  another  couple  did  he  become  aware  they 
were  the  Princess  of  Wales  and  her  partner.  The 
fact  that  she  was  dancing  of  course  accounted  for 
the  emptiness  of  the  floor. 

Many  years  later,  when  Mrs.  West's  daughters 
had  grown  up  and  married,  she  drove  over  with 
them  from  Newlands,  their  place  in  Hampshire 
overlooking  the  Solent,  to  spend  a  Sunday  after- 
noon at  Milford-on-Sea,  which  Colonel  West  had 
turned  into  a  popular  resort  for  holiday  makers 
by  building  villas.  They  decided  to  have  tea  at 
an  hotel  there,  and  while  it  was  being  prepared. 
Princess  Henry  of  Pless  and  the  Duchess  of  West- 
minster climbed  down  to  the  sea  and  began  to 
paddle,  calling  to  their  mother  on  top  of  the  cliff 


4  FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

to  take  off  her  shoes  and  stockings  and  follow  their 
example. 

The  hotel  proprietor  was  much  incensed  at  this 
unSabbath-like  conduct,  and  made  audible  remarks 
about  cheap-trippers  being  bad  for  the  hotel  until 
he  found  out  who  his  visitors  were.  Then  his 
Sabbath-like  feelings  underwent  a  change.  He 
at  once  became  servile  and  crawling. 

Truly  one  may  steal  a  horse  and  another  must 
not  look  at  it  over  the  wall. 

Another  handsome  woman  of  that  time  was 
Louise  Duchess  of  Manchester.  What  astonishing 
stories  there  used  to  be  flying  about;  but,  being  a 
personage,  even  the  very  straight-laced  thought  it 
wise  to  be  charming  to  her  face.  The  late  Lady 
Bessborough,  however,  was  the  exception  that 
proves  the  rule,  and  one  day  as  she  drove  through 
Great  Stanhope  Street  she  espied  the  Duchess  at 
one  of  her  windows  waving  a  white  pocket  hand- 
kerchief at  her.  Lady  Bessborough  kept  her  moral 
head  erect,  pretending  she  did  not  see,  but  man- 
aging to  observe  everything  perfectly  all  the  same. 

When  she  alighted  from  her  carriage  she  re- 
marked in  what  I  think  was  a  most  undignified 

manner   to  her    footman,    ''Robert,   was   that 

(searching  for  some  words  severe  enough)  wicked 
Duchess  waving  at  me!" 

But  far  and  away  more  beautiful  in  my  eyes  than 
any  of  these  were  Georgina  Countess  of  Dudley, 
the  Duchess  of  Leinster,  and  Gladys  Lady  Lons- 
dale, the  latter  beautiful  as  a  picture  in  her  youth. 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS  5 

but  if  possible  more  beautiful  as  Lady  Ripon  with 
her  picturesque  white  hair. 

It  is  not  given  to  all  of  us  to  be  beautiful  in  our 
youth,  but  I  think  it  is  our  own  faults  if  we  are  not 
beautiful  in  our  old  age,  when  time  and  experience 
have  taught  us  to  cease  striving  after  the  impossible, 
when  we  no  longer  kick  against  the  pricks,  but 
fold  our  hands  with  faces  towards  the  setting  sun, 
"glad  we  came,  nor  sorry  to  depart,"  waiting  pa- 
tiently for  the  Great  Audit,  not  with  hope,  for  that 
has  died,  nor  with  fear,  that  also  has  died,  but  with 
calm  content,  knowing  we  have  worked  out  our 
salvation  here  through  storm,  tempest  and  bitter 
tears. 

I  remember  Mrs.  Langtry  as  a  girl  in  Jersey. 
She  was  older  than  I  and  I  looked  up  to  her  with 
some  of  the  respect  I  reserved  for  any  grown-ups 
or  playmates  bigger  than  myself.  Her  name  was 
not  Lily  at  all,  but  Emily  Charlotte  le  Breton, 
daughter  of  the  Very  Reverend  the  Dean  of  Jersey, 
a  man  with  a  great  appreciation  of  beauty  in  the 
fair  sex. 

One  year  when  we  were  wintering  in  Jersey  for 
my  mother's  health,  though  I  was  only  eight  years 
old  at  the  time,  I  remember  a  number  of  people 
who  visited  my  parents,  the  De  Carterets,  Pipons,  le 
Bretons,  de  Saumerez,  Hemerys,  Knatchbulls,  etc. 

The  Dean  of  Jersey  was  a  great  ladies'  man.  He 
used  to  come  often  to  our  church  in  St.  Heliers  and 
sit  in  our  pew  in  order  to  admire  and  hear  sing  a 
very  handsome  Mrs.  Knatchbull,  who  sat  in  front 


6  FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

of  us.  Her  voice  was  beautiful  and  cultivated. 
There  was  also  a  Mrs.  de  Saumerez  he  greatly  ad- 
mired, whose  pew  was  somewhere  near.  The  hus- 
band of  this  lady  was  a  certain  well-known  admiral 
(he  may  have  been  a  lord,  I  have  forgotten)  de 
Saumerez,  possessed  of  a  violent  and  ungovernable 
temper  and  exceedingly  jealous.  It  was  almost  as 
much  as  a  man's  life  was  worth  to  look  at  his  wife. 
Colonel  Knatchbull  also  was  jealous,  but  did  not 
show  it  in  so  pronounced  a  manner.  Neither  of 
these  husbands  accompanied  their  wives  to  church, 
but  came  to  meet  them  when  the  service  was  over. 

One  Sunday  as  we  came  out  from,  what  I  con- 
sidered a  long  and  tedious  service,  we  found  the 
devoted  husbands  waiting  outside  the  church,  and 
we  all  proceeded  down  the  rather  narrow  path  to 
the  main  road.  The  Dean  was  walking  with  Mrs. 
Knatchbull,  my  father  and  Mr.  Pipon  one  on  each 
side  of  Mrs.  de  Saumerez,  all  of  us  more  or  less 
grouped  together  and  the  conversation  fairly  gen- 
eral. Suddenly  Colonel  Knatchbull  struck  the 
Dean  and  told  him  he  was  something-something, 
and  he  would  not  have  him  dancing  about  his  wife 
making  eyes  at  her.  In  a  minute  there  was  a  free 
fight,  for  Admiral  de  Saumerez  joined  in,  saying; 
yes,  it  was  disgraceful  the  way  the  Dean  made 
ladies  conspicuous.  He  had  been  observing  it  for 
some  time.  I  was  so  frightened  I  climbed  up  a 
wall  dividing  the  churchyard  from  the  highroad 
from  St.  Heliers  to  St.  Aubins. 

From  this  point  of  vantage  I  observed  a  curious 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS  7 

thing  happen.  The  row  had  begun  by  Colonel 
KnatchbuU  scolding  and  striking  the  Dean,  but 
suddenly  the  cleric  was  left  out  in  the  cold,  when 
the  two  irate  husbands,  for  some  reason  I  did  not 
hear  or  understand,  fell  upon  one  another,  the 
Admiral  jumping  up  and  down  with  passion,  hit- 
ting above  the  belt,  below  the  belt,  and  any  acces- 
sible place,  while  in  return  his  face  was  well 
pounded.  The  womenkind  held  on  to  the  coat  tails 
of  the  fighting  men  and,  with  the  help  of  my  father 
and  Mr.  Pipon,  separated  them  while  they  con- 
tinued shouting  something  about  blood  and  pistols. 
It  was  only  through  the  endeavours  and  influ- 
ence of  the  Governor  of  the  island,  de  Carteret  by 
name,  that  a  duel  was  averted  between  the  Dean 
and  Colonel  KnatchbuU  in  the  first  place,  and  the 
two  irate  husbands  in  the  second. 

When  Admiral  de  Saumerez  became  angry, 
which  was  not  infrequent,  all  in  his  vicinity  trem- 
bled in  their  shoes,  for  there  was  no  knowing  what 
he  would  do.  I  remember  hearing  my  people  talk- 
ing a  good  deal  about  this  row  and  others  in  con- 
nection with  the  Admiral. 

My  father  said  he  had  at  times  seen  the  Admiral 
running  along  the  road  from,  sheer  temper,  talking 
loudly  to  himself  and  gesticulating  as  he  ran. 

After  this  row  peace  reigned  for  a  while,  or  per- 
haps I  should  say  armed  neutrality  was  the  order 
of  the  day. 

When  Mrs.  Langtry  first  arrived  in  England 
she  was  a  very  quiet,  unpresuming  little  person, 


8  FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

but  her  beauty  and  fascinating  manners  turned  the 
heads  of  everybody,  both  men  and  women.  I  have 
seen  them  standing  on  chairs  in  the  Park  to  get  a 
ghmpse  of  her.  Her  Hfe  would  be  a  wonderful 
story  if  it  were  ever  written.  High  and  low  ad- 
mired her,  the  Prince  of  Wales,  Lord  Dudley,  Mr. 
Abingdon  Baird,  and  heaps  more. 

A  man  of  great  wealth  and  a  certain  position, 
Mr.  Baird  had  become  mixed  up  with  an  undesir- 
able crowd  consisting  of  the  rag-tag  and  bob-tail 
of  the  ring  and  race-course.  Mrs.  Langtry,  Sir 
Frederick  Johnstone,  and  his  cousin  Mr.  Douglas 
Baird  tried  to  wean  him  from  his  unlovely  friends. 
This  process  included  charming  dinner  parties,  at 
which  the  reluctant  Mr.  Abingdon  Baird  met  high- 
born and  refined  ladies,  whose  charms  and  cultured 
minds  were  calculated  to  lure  him  from  his  dis- 
approved companions  and  perhaps  turn  his  mind 
to  higher  thoughts.  Everybody  had  to  admit  it 
was  uphill  work,  as  Mr.  Baird  was  very  difficult 
to  awaken  to  "culture." 

At  one  of  these  dinners  a  very  high-browed  dame 
sitting  next  to  him  tried  to  draw  Mr.  Baird  into 
conversation.  He  had  looked  unutterably  bored 
throughout  the  greater  part  of  the  dinner.  She 
began : 

*'Do  you  like  music?" 

"No,"  grunted  Mr.  Baird,  shaking  his  head  and 
not  lifting  his  eyes  from  his  plate. 

"Then  perhaps  you  have  not  been  to  the  opera 
lately?" 


Mrs.  Langtry 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS  9 

An  impatient  shake  of  the  head. 

"But  you  should  really,  Madame  Trebelli  Bertini 
is  wonderful!     Have  you  never  heard  her?" 

"No  and  don't  want  to.  Have  yon  ever  heard 
Bessie  Belwood?" 

Sir  Frederick  Johnstone  sighed  and  said,  "Hope- 
less!" 

Poor  Mr.  Baird  was  a  rough  diamond,  but  a  great 
admirer  of  the  Jersey  Lily,  as  Mrs.  Langtry  was 
called,  but  I  do  not  think  he  liked  the  way  she  tried 
to  keep  him  from  prize-fighting. 

In  the  spring  of  1893  Mr.  Abingdon  Baird,  in 
company  with  his  friend  Charles  Mitchell,  the  pugi- 
list, left  this  country  for  America.  Mitchell  had 
been  matched  to  fight  James  J.  Corbett,  but  it  did 
not  come  off  until  January,  1894,  Mitchell  getting 
the  worst  of  the  contest.  "The  Squire"  was,  how- 
ever, present  at  a  battle  between  Bob  Fitzsimmons 
and  Jim  Hall  at  New  Orleans,  in  March,  1893, 
where  he  caught  a  chill  and  died  of  pneumonia 
in  that  city  ten  days  later.  Before  he  started  his 
solicitors,  Messrs.  Lumley  and  Lumley,  persuaded 
him  to  make  a  will,  add  a  codicil  or  some  such  thing, 
I  do  not  know  exactly  what,  but  as  soon  as  his 
solicitors  had  gone  he  rang  his  bell  and  sent  for 
one  of  his  chosen  friends  and  particular  pals,  who 
arrived  to  find  Mr.  Baird  sitting  at  his  writing- 
table  holding  his  head  and  looking  very  miserable. 
His  pal  (I  am  not  sure  it  was  not  his  valet),  asked, 
"What's  up.  Squire?"  this  being  always  what  his 
intimates  called  him.     "Oh,  those  damned  lawyers 


lo  FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

have  been  here  and  made  me  sign  something  I 
know  nothing  about.  /  don't  know  what  the  devil 
it's  all  about."  Then  seizing  a  large  silver 
inkstand  he  flung  it  at  the  head  of  his  interrogator, 
saying,  "To  hell  with  the  lot  of  you!" 

The  man  ducked,  but  the  inkstand  hit  him  in  the 
eye  and  continued  its  flight  through  a  mirror  at  the 
end  of  the  room.  The  portion  of  injured  eye  was 
paid  for  by  a  ten-pound  note. 

I  saw  Mrs.  Langtry  when  she  made  her  first  ap- 
pearance on  the  English  stage,  under  the  guidance 
and  management  of  Mrs.  Bancroft.  This  was  in 
1881.  She  took  the  part  of  Kate  Hardcastle  in 
"She  Stoops  to  Conquer." 

We  were  all  greatly  disappointed  with  her  at 
first  on  the  stage;  she  looked  insignificant  and  not 
particularly  good  looking.  We  could  not  under- 
stand what  had  happened  to  her.  Later  we  dis- 
covered the  reason.  She  would  not  paint  her  face 
and  make  up  as  all  are  bound  to  do  for  the  stage. 
In  consequence,  under  the  glaring  and  trying  light 
on  the  stage  she  looked  absolutely  colourless.  It 
is  easy  to  understand  she  did  not  wish  to  spoil  her 
beautiful  skin,  but  she  found  it  was  a  necessity  to 
get  up  in  the  ordinary  and  approved  fashion  of 
theatrical  people.  I  never  thought  her  a  great 
actress. 

There  was  rather  a  cruel  riddle  in  vogue  in  the 
'8o's:  "What  is  the  difference  between  Madame 
Modjeska  and  Mrs.  Langtry? — the  answer  being: 
"One  is  a  Pole  and  the  other  a  Stick!" 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS  ii 

The  most  wonderful  acting  I  ever  saw  was  that 
of  Sarah  Bernhardt  in  "Fedora,"  in  Paris.  Her 
voice  alone  in  the  love  scene  as  she  cooed  on  the 
sofa  was  enough  to  coax  the  birds  off  the  trees, 
and  in  the  poison  scene  was  painfully  marvellous. 
I  remember  the  theatre  was  very  hot,  and  there 
were  two  or  three  in  our  box,  and  as  I  felt  rather 
faint  the  door  was  opened,  but  an  attendant  at 
once  came  and  closed  it,  saying  the  light  scene 
through  the  door  would  be  annoying  to  madame 
on  the  stage.  The  attendant  was  told  through  the 
closed  door  that  there  was  a  lady  in  the  box  who 
did  not  feel  very  well  and  w^ished  to  go  out.  The 
attendant  was  adamant  and  suggested  it  would  be 
quite  all  right  if  the  lady  fainted  on  the  floor,  and 
when  the  scene  was  over  they  would  come  and  fetch 
her !  This  conversation  was  carried  on  in  the  tini- 
est whispers  with  many  "sh's,"  but  the  door  was 
locked  on  the  outside.  Under  the  circumstances 
I  refused  to  faint. 

Not  feeling  very  well  rather  spoilt  the  evening's 
pleasure  for  me,  but  I  have  never  forgotten  Sarah's 
acting,  and  I  think  the  theatre  authorities  are  quite 
right  to  consider  the  actors  and  actresses  in  every 
possible  way.  Such  a  little  thing  might  throw  them 
out  of  their  stride,  besides  movements  and  noise 
are  exceedingly  annoying  to  those  who  are  enjoying 
every  little  movement  and  every  word  on  the  stage. 

I  was  at  the  opera  in  London  the  night  Madame 
Adelina  Patti  appeared  after  the  Nicolini  episode. 
The  house  was  cram  full  and  large  prices  had  been 


12  FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

paid  for  boxes.  When  she  appeared  no  doubt  ex- 
pecting her  usual  ovation,  there  was  a  silence  that 
was  oppressive.  I  felt  the  tears  rising  to  my  eyes 
with  grief  for  her,  but  after  looking  in  what  might 
have  been  bewilderment  round  the  house  for  a 
moment  she  sang  as  no  other  that  I  have  ever  heard 
could  sing,  "Home,  Sweet  Home." 

She  had  touched  the  right  chord;  the  house  be- 
came hysterical,  and  the  kind  Prince  of  Wales 
leaned  over  his  box  and  handed  to  her  a  bouquet, 
which  she  folded  in  her  arms  and  laid  her  head 
amongst  the  flowers  for  a  moment  overcome  with 
gratitude  and  emotion. 

I  always  feel  glad  I  did  not  miss  that  night.  It 
was  such  a  triumph  the  way  she  appealed  to  her 
audience  and  won  their  hearts  against  their  wills, 
I  might  almost  say,  for  many  had  gone  simply  to 
see  how  she  would  be  received,  and  with  prudish 
and  fault-finding  minds  and  intentions.  She  cast 
them  all  to  the  wdnds  and  brought  tears  to  the«eyes 
of  many. 

I  have  wandered  away  again  from  Mrs.  Langtry 
in  a  very  reprehensible  manner.  She  appeared  on 
the  stage  in  America  in  1887,  somebody  told  me  the 
other  day,  I  had  not  heard  it  before. 

When  first  she  had  acquired  wealth  enough  to 
begin  racing,  she  ran  her  horses  under  the  name 
of  Mr.  Jersey,  and  then,  as  now,  had  the  same 
delicate  turquoise  and  fawn  hoops  and  turquoise 
cap  against  her  name  in  the  calendar.  The  best 
horse  she  ever  owned  was  the  Australian  "Mer- 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS  i-, 

man,"  who  won  her  the  Goodwood  Cup  in  1899 
and  Ascot  Cup  in  1900,  three  years  after  he  had 
won  the  Caesarevitch  as  a  birthday  present  for 
her.  Of  course  at  Newmarket  she  had  showers 
of  congratulations,  but  the  Ascot  triumph  was  the 
Red  Letter  Day  of  her  Hfe,  although  she  was  not 
present  on  that  occasion,  and  strangely,  the  fol- 
lowing year  Mr.  George  Edwards  brought  ofif 
another  stage  victory  with  his  favourite  and  best 
horse,  "San  Toy." 

Mrs.  Langtry  held  views  of  her  own  on  the  art 
of  training.  Some  of  them  who  trained  for  her  got 
unmercifully  chaffed  about  their  lady  employer. 
Pickering,  for  instance,  was  one  day  going  to  sad- 
dle a  horse  at  one  of  the  race  meetings,  and  as  he 
happened  to  have  on  a  straw  hat  with  a  neat  bow 
at  the  side,  someone  wishing  to  be  funny,  called 
out,  "Did  the  missus  trim  your  hat?" 

I  always  admired  the  way  Mrs.  Langtry  con- 
ducted her  racing.  She  was  never  loud  and  was 
seldom  if  ever  seen  alone  in  a  paddock;  if  she  went 
down  to  see  a  horse  saddled  she  always  had  a  suit- 
able escort. 

After  Mr.  Langtry's  death,  the  Jersey  Lily  mar- 
ried Sir  Hugh  Gerald  De  Bathe  in  1899,  and  now 
races  under  that  name. 

In  spite  of  Mrs.  Langtry's  endeavours  to  wean 
Mr.  Abingdon  Baird  from  his  prize-fighting,  he 
died  as  already  stated  in  America  from  a  chill 
caught  after  taking  part  in  one  of  these  entertain- 
ments.    At  his  death  his  lawyers  and  his  mother 


14  FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

had  a  tremendous  task  in  settling  up  his  affairs. 
There  were  claims  running  into  many  thousands. 
One  man,  who  had  been  promised  £5000  for  cer- 
tain services  rendered,  eventually  accepted  £3000. 
This  case  and  others  were  to  have  been  decided  in 
the  High  Court,  but  Mr.  Baird's  mother,  like  all 
good  mothers,  could  not  bear  the  idea  of  having  her 
son's  name  dragged  through  the  mud,  and  ex- 
pressed her  wish  to  pay  everything.  In  consequence 
of  this,  and  with  the  judge's  permission,  the  court 
was  relieved  of  the  hearing. 

It  is  sad  that  the  faithful  friend  of  man  should 
lead  so  many  into  trouble.  I  do  not  like  to  re- 
member all  my  old  friends  who  have  gone  under 
through  racing,  not  that  I  mean  to  infer  it  is  the 
fault  of  the  horses;  they  generally  do  their  best  to 
please  us.  It  is  man's  own  silly  fault  when  he 
comes  to  grief.  At  the  moment  I  am  thinking  of 
poor  Lord  Hastings,  whom  I  never  knew,  as  he 
died  before  my  time,  but  whose  beautiful  wife  I 
did  know.  They  called  her  the  "Pocket  Venus," 
and  many  are  the  stories  she  told  of  that  weak 
but  exceedingly  generous  man  who  planned  out  his 
life  for  pleasure  that  proved  so  short  lived.  He 
was  the  fourth  Marquess,  born  in  1842.  In  1864 
he  married  Lady  Florence  Paget.  The  marriage 
caused  a  great  sensation  at  the  time,  for  she  was 
engaged  to  Mr.  Chaplain,  now  Lord  Chaplain,  and 
had  gone  with  him  to  do  some  shopping  at  Mar- 
shall and  Snelgrove's  well-known  shop  in  Oxford 
Street,  where  women's  garments  and  fal-lals  are  to 


'I'he  Late  Marquess  of  Hastings  Explaining  his  Betting  Book 
to  his  Bride 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS  15 

be  found  in  all  their  latest  styles.  While  Mr.  Chap- 
lin was  walking  up  and  down  outside  one  entrance 
waiting  for  his  fiancee,  she  departed  from  another 
in  the  brougham  of  Lord  Hastings,  which  was 
awaiting  her  and  was  married  at  St.  George's, 
Hanover  Square.  Altogether  a  most  romantic 
affair.  It  is,  of  course,  an  old  story  now,  but  some 
of  the  present  generation  may  not  know  about  it, 
and  be  interested.  It  was  later,  when  the  wife  of 
Sir  George  Chetwynd  of  Grendon,  that  I  knew 
her.  She  married  him  in  1870.  I  first  met  her  in 
1885- 

If  the  life  of  Lady  Chetwynd,  or  Lady  Hastings, 
as  she  was  still  called  by  many,  were  written  it 
would  be  thrilling.  She  lived  through  some  great 
experiences,  many  of  them  pitiful,  others  exciting 
and  occasionally  triumphant,  but  the  pitiful  pre- 
dominated. 

Her  second  matrimonial  venture  was  not  entirely 
a  success.  Her  husband  became  heavily  involved 
financially,  and  found  himself  more  than  once  in 
hot  water  over  his  racing  transactions,  but  to  that 
I  shall  refer  later. 

After  the  runaway  marriage  with  Lord  Hast- 
ings, Donnington  Hall  became  the  home  of  the 
'Tocket  Venus."  The  picture  of  Lord  Hastings  on 
the  sofa  explaining  his  betting  book  to  his  newly- 
made  wife  was  taken  at  Donnington  and  has  never 
before  been  published  as  far  as  I  know.  It  is  a  good 
likeness  of  Lady  Hastings,  allowing  for  the  old- 


i6  FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

fashioned  style  of  dress,  and  she  considered  it  a 
most  faithful  likeness  of  her  husband. 

There  are  wonderful  histories  attached  to  Don- 
nington  Hall;  of  cock-fights,  racing  and  midnight 
revelry  in  which  most  of  the  sporting  people  of  that 
day  took  part,  Pulsford  Hobson,  Peter  Wilkinson 
and  the  Duke  of  Hamilton  amongst  others.  From 
all  I  hear  I  doubt  if  the  revelry  in  those  early  years 
of  Lady  Hastings'  life  with  the  gambler  have  ever 
been  equalled. 

One  night  after  dinner  one  of  Lord  Hastings' 
(or  "Harry"  as  his  intimates  called  him)  jockeys, 
named  Jim  Grimshaw,  who  was  a  very  light  weight, 
was,  amidst  much  uproar,  put  upon  the  dining- 
table  and  made  to  dance  a  hornpipe. 

Poor  Lord  Hastings'  racing  was  meteoric,  six 
years  was  the  outside.  He  registered  his  colours, 
red  and  white  hoops  and  w^hite  cap,  in  1862,  and 
died  in  1868.  Harry  Hill  and  Padwick  the  money- 
lenders, were  his  financiers  and  wire-pullers.  He 
was  firmly  in  their  grip  when  he  married  Lady 
Florence  Paget.  I  am  afraid  her  husband  was  very 
extravagant  and  very  weak,  but  he  was  straight- 
forward and  made  the  mistake  of  believing  what  he 
was  told,  which  naturally  led  to  his  early  undoing, 
added  to  which  he  could  not  resist  betting.  When 
sitting  in  a  railway  carriage  he  would  bet  on  the 
drops  running  down  the  window,  or  which  fly  would 
feast  first  on  a  lump  of  sugar  at  tea.  It  was  alto- 
gether hopeless. 

Donnington,    now    occupied    by    the    German 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS  17 

prisoners  of  war,  is  by  no  means  of  noble  structure, 
but  a  barrack-like  building,  its  chief  notable  feature 
being  the  four  columns  or  turrets  standing  above 
the  entrance  to  the  house,  but  its  surroundings 
are  spacious  and  suitable  for  its  present  purpose. 
I  wonder  what  the  barbed-wire  cost?  Thousands 
were  I  know  spent  on  laying  electric  wire  into  the 
house.  The  questions  that  have  been  asked, 
judging  by  the  Blue  Book,  in  connection  with  the 
cost  of  the  upkeep  of  that  place,  food  provided,  etc., 
paid  for  out  of  us  poor  tax-payers'  pockets  are 
many  and  sensational.  Considering  the  shortage  of 
food,  how  do  they  get  the  good  things  they  are 
receiving?  Speaking  of  food  reminds  me  of  the 
time  when,  after  much  debate  and  palaver,  the 
price  of  potatoes  was  fixed  at  one  penny  half-penny 
(i^d.)  per  pound  at  a  time  when  there  were  none 
to  be  bought,  and  also  reminds  me  of  the  orders 
issued  that  all  game  is  to  be  shot — no  more  preserv- 
ing— and  at  the  same  time  people  are  allowed  no 
ammunition  to  shoot  them.  We  shall  have  to  sally 
forth  with  salt  to  put  on  their  tails  and  catch  them 
that  way!    It  is  all  very  strange! 

Lord  Hastings  won  some  big  races  with  his 
horses,  including  the  Grand  Prix  de  Paris,  the 
Ascot  Derby,  with  a  horse  called  "The  Earl,"  and 
three  hours  later  the  same  afternoon  the  Ascot 
Bienniel  with  the  same  horse.  The  "coup"  of  his 
racing  career  was  achieved  when  his  good  little 
horse  "Lecturer"  won  the  Caesarevitch  in  1866. 
But  no  winning  could  compensate  him  for  his  losses 


i8  FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

when  they  were  in  such  colossal  sums  as  one  hun- 
dred thousand  pounds  over  the  Derby  of  1867, 
and  eighty  thousand  pounds  on  the  Derby  the  fol- 
lowing year.  He  died  very  shortly  after  this, 
having  been  in  bad  health  for  some  time.  He  had 
burnt  his  candle  in  too  many  places  at  once,  but  he 
was  exceedingly  generous,  hospitable,  and  no  man's 
enemy  but  his  own.  It  was  all  very  sad  and  no 
one  could  help  feeling  sorry  for  him.  Tempera- 
ment, which  is  bestowed  upon  us  without  our  hav- 
ing a  voice  in  the  matter,  has  much  to  answer  for. 
The  Meteoric  Marcjuis  was  for  two  seasons 
Master  of  the  Ouorn,  and  the  erratic  conduct  that 
characterised  his  term  of  office  was  rather  aptly 
described  in  some  verses,  generally  supposed  to 
have  been  written  by  the  late  Lord  Rosslyn,  to  the 
tune  of  the  once  popular  ballad  "Who  can  tell?" 

"When  will  the  Marquis  come?    Who  can  tell? 
Half-past  twelve  or  half-past  one?    Who  can  tell? 
Is  he  sober,  is  he  drunk?     Nipping  like  Myneheer  von 

Dunk? 
Will  he  ride  or  will  he  funk?    Who  can  tell? 

Shall  we  have  to  wait  again?    Who  can  tell? 

In  the  wind  and  in  the  rain  ?    W^ho  can  tell  ? 

While  the  Marquis  snug  and  warm, 

In  the  hall  where  toadies  swarm, 

Leaves  us  to  the  pelting  storm?    Who  can  tell? 

Where  he'll  draw  by  way  of  a  lark,  who  can  tell? 
Gartree  Hill  or  Bradgate  Park?    Who  can  tell? 
Sport  regarding  as  a  jest,  which  will  suit  his  fancy  best? 
North  or  south  or  east  or  west?    Who  can  tell? 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS  19 

Where,  oh  where !  rings  Tailby's  horn  ?    Who  can  tell  ? 

Why  came  I  with  this  cursed  Quorn?    Who  can  tell? 

Marquis,  this  is  not  a  race, 

Can  you  look  me  in  the  face 

And  declare  you  like  the  chase?     Who  can  tell?" 

About  the  same  time  a  clever  sketch  appeared  In 
the  old  Sporting  Gazette.  It  represented  a  fine  old 
dog  fox  stealing  away  from  covert  with  Lord  Wil- 
ton and  the  Marquis  of  Hastings  looking  on.  It 
was  called  ''A  Critical  Moment"  and  the  former 
was  saying,  "Now,  Harry,  blow  away,  we  shall 
have  it  all  to  ourselves." 

To  which  the  other  replies,  "It's  d d  fine  to 

say  blow  away,  but  if  I  do  I  shall  be  sick!"  Ha! 
ha!  ha! 

It  caused  a  great  deal  of  amusement  in  the  shires 
and  the  entire  issue  of  the  paper  was  sold  out  in  a 
few  hours. 

The  Sporting  Times  had  an  obituary  notice  on 
Lord  Hastings  under  the  heading  of  "The  Spider 
and  the  Fly." 

Before  leaving  the  subject  of  Lord  Hastings  and 
his  home,  Donnington  Hall,  I  should  like  to  ask  if 
anybody  knows  what  has  become  of  the  cups  he 
won  with  his  more  important  races,  the  Ascot, 
Goodwood  and  Doncaster  cups  to  wit?  He  died 
without  an  heir  and  hopelessly  in  debt.  I  should 
Hke  to  know  what  became  of  the  objects  he  so 
greatly  prized. 

I  also  wonder  if  the  rich  German  officer  named 
interned  at  Donnington  will  take  a  fancy  to  the 


20  FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

place  and  wish  to  buy  it  at  the  end  of  hostilities? 

While  I  have  been  writing  this  book  we  have 
had  some  escaped  German  prisoners  across  this 
property  (not  Donnington  or  its  neighbourhood). 
They  have  been  captured  a  few  miles  from  here. 
An  officer  who  was  riding  a  motorcycle  spotted  the 
two  men  in  the  last  stage  of  exhaustion,  having 
tramped  some  thirty  miles  if  they  had  come  as  the 
crow  flies,  which  naturally  they  had  not,  having  to 
dodge  about  in  hiding,  which  had  taken  them  the 
best  part  of  a  week.  The  moment  the  cyclist  saw 
the  men  he  guessed  who  they  were  and  noticed 
their  accent  as  they  asked  their  way.  He  allowed 
them  to  continue  in  the  direction  he  had  suggested 
to  them,  and  seeing  a  car  coming  along  the  road 
stopped  it,  asking  the  occupant  to  go  post  haste  to 
the  next  village  and  inform  the  police  and  ask  them 
to  come  at  once.  It  so  happened  that  the  man  in  the 
car  was  the  head  dairyman  at  the  Home  Farm  here 
on  the  property  where  I  live.  He  was  on  his  way 
to  see  a  soldier  son  at  a  South  Coast  hospital  some 
forty  miles  away.  He  at  once  dashed  off,  the  police 
were  soon  on  the  spot,  and  before  many  hours 
passed  the  men  were  captured,  offering  no  resist- 
ance. Considering  their  exhausted  condition  I 
wonder  the  khaki-clad  cyclist  did  not  capture  them, 
but  no  doubt  discretion  is  the  greater  part  of  valour. 

This  place  where  I  am  writing  is  an  ideal  spot 
for  any  runaway  to  hide  in.  I  have  been  wonder- 
ing what  I  should  do  one  day  if  in  our  at  present 
(during  war  time)  unused  garages  and  stables  I 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS  21 

come  across  some  German  prisoners  hiding.  It 
would  be  my  duty,  I  suppose,  to  give  them  up  to 
justice,  but  I  fear  my  inclinations  would  be  to  give 
them  something  to  eat  and  drink  and  then  ask  them 
to  ''move  on"  policeman  fashion.  I  should  be  un- 
able to  help  putting  myself  in  their  place.  I  should 
so  hate  to  be  caught  and  think  anybody  who  gave 
me  away  and  denounced  me  such  a  sneaky  skunk. 
Probably  I  should  be  murdered  for  my  pains,  but 
two  skunks  would  not  make  my  action  any  less 
skunkish ! 

Those  who  have  seen  that  famous  picture  of 
Frith's  entitled  "The  Road  to  Ruin,"  which  was  de- 
picted in  four  scenes,  will  perhaps  have  recognised 
in  the  Ascot  scene  some  faces  amongst  those  figur- 
ing on  the  canvas,  that  of  Lord  Hastings,  for 
instance,  as  the  person  betting  over  the  rails  with 
the  bookmakers.  The  picture  (the  original  I  think) 
eventually  found  its  way  into  the  picture  gallery 
of  the  late  Colonel  North  (who  was  generally 
known  as  the  "Nitrate  King")  at  Eltham.  It  struck 
me  it  might  have  been  an  unlucky  purchase,  for  I 
have  heard  conflicting  accounts  and  theories  of  his 
death.  Some  suggested  his  nitrates  had  died  out 
and  that  he  was  in  financial  difficulties?  against 
that  I  am  told  he  left  by  will  £263,000  net  and 
^575>ooo  gross,  which  does  not  sound  as  if  he  was 
in  any  embarrassment. 

He  was  considered  extravagant,  but  with  that 
fortune  why  should  he  not  be,  especially  when  I 
know  as  a  matter  of  fact  that  he  befriended  a  num- 


22  FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

ber  of  people,  helping  them  financially.  Some  are 
living  now,  and  most  ungrateful  I  have  considered 
them. 

He  was  a  kind-hearted  little  man  who  knew 
nothing  about  pictures,  little  about  racehorses,  and 
perhaps  little  about  nitrates. 

If  I  remember  rightly,  it  was  to  Lady  Randolph 
Churchill  he  told  the  story  of  having  bought  a  most 
beautiful  painting  in  oils.  When  asked  the  subject 
he  replied,  "That  I  do  not  know,  but  it  is  twelve 
feet  by  eight."    At  least  that  is  how  the  story  goes. 

At  the  end  of  his  picture  gallery  stood  an  almost 
life-size  portrait  of  himself  in  the  uniform  of  the 
E'tham  Yeomanry.  He  was  exceedingly  proud  of 
this  picture  which  had  been  painted  by  Philips,  the 
famous  portrait  and  animal  painter.  I  do  not  think 
either  the  happiest  position  or  dress  was  chosen  by 
him,  or  for  him.  As  represented  in  the  picture, 
he  was  taken  full  face  on  horseback,  the  scarlet 
tunic  combined  with  his  rather  rosy  complexion 
was  not  attractive. 

I  believe  he  raced  more  to  sell  his  nitrates  than 
for  any  pleasure  he  derived  from  the  sport,  much 
in  the  same  way  as  Sir  Blundel  Maple  raced  to 
assist  the  sale  of  "tables  and  chairs,"  which  was  his 
nickname  amongst  race-goers.  There  are  wheels 
within  wheels  in  every  walk  of  life.  Sir  Blundel  at 
one  time  advertised  in  some  of  the  sporting  papers 
that  his  shop  in  the  Tottenham  Court  Road  was  the 
best  place  for  jockeys  and  trainers  to  spend  their 
earnings ! 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS  23 

I  must  now  return  to  the  time  when  Lady 
Hastings  had  become  the  wife  of  Sir  George  Chet- 
wynd,  and  some  of  the  awkward  experiences  she 
passed  through,  the  Chetwynd  versus  Durham  row 
being  one  of  them.  The  case  will  be  fresh  in  the 
memory  of  many  people;  it  occurred  in  1889. 

I  have  heard  it  stated  that  Lord  Durham  was 
steward  of  the  Jockey  Club  at  the  time  of  the  rum- 
pus, but  this  is  quite  a  mistake;  he  was  not.  I 
heard  a  good  deal  about  this  afifair  from  Mr.  Jim 
Lowther,  who  endeavoured  to  be  impartial;  also 
from  Sir  George's  wife,  who  was  less  impartial. 
Her  husband  claimed  £20,000  damages  for  what 
he  termed  a  "scandalous  libel,"  which  had  been 
uttered  at  York  by  Lord  Durham  following  a 
Gimcrack  dinner. 

After  many  Jockey  Club  consultations  and  much 
litigation  the  verdict  of  one  farthing  damages  was 
awarded  to  Sir  George,  each  side  paying  its  own 
costs,  but  Sir  George  was  censured  for  the  lighter 
charges  which  formed  part  of  the  alleged  libel  and 
exonerated  from  the  graver.  He  resigned  his  mem- 
bership of  the  Jockey  Club  immediately  after  this. 

One  farthing  damages  appears  to  be  rather  a 
favorite  finding  for  wounded  pride  in  racing  dis- 
putes. I  remembered  another  case  where  that  sum 
was  awarded,  "Wood  versus  Cox,"  tried  before 
Lord  Chief  Justice  Coleridge  and  a  great  array  of 
counsel,  including  Sir  Charles  Russell,  afterwards 
Lord  Russell  of  Killowen.  This  afifair  arose  out  of 
the  Licensed  Victuallers'  Gazette  boldly  asserting 


24  FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

in  print  that  Wood  the  jockey  had  "pulled"  a 
horse  he  had  been  riding  in  a  race,  the  horse  in 
question  being  named  ''Success." 

I  do  not  think  Wood  intended  taking  any  notice 
of  this,  but  the  Jockey  Club  sent  for  him  and  asked 
him  if  it  was  true  that  he  had  pulled  the  horse,  to 
which  he  replied,  "No."  Then,  said  the  Jockey 
Club,  you  must  bring  an  action  against  the  paper  to 
clear  your  character.  Of  course,  there  was  no 
alternative  but  to  go  to  law,  which  resulted  in  one 
farthing  damages. 

During  the  case,  while  Wood  was  in  the  witness- 
box,  the  judge  coaxingly  asked  him,  "How  much 
do  you  think  a  jockey  could  earn  in  a  year  ?" 

"Ten  thousand  pounds,  my  Lord,"  came  the 
answer,  which  caused  the  Judge  slyly  to  pass  a  note 
to  Sir  Frank  Lockwood,  saying,  "Don't  you  think 
we  had  better  quit  the  bench  and  bar  and  turn 
jockeys?" 

Sir  Frank  then  set  to  work  at  once  to  sketch 
in  his  own  inimitable  style  the  judge  in  racing  cap 
and  jacket,  mounted  on  the  most  miserable-looking 
caricature  of  the  racehorse  "Success." 

The  frivolity  of  judges,  counsel  and  even  magis- 
trates, during  moments  of  great  anxiety  of  the 
parties  concerned  is,  I  think,  rather  painful.  Truly 
what  is  one  man's  meat  is  another  man's  poison, 
the  one  poking  fun  and  finding  amusement  in  what 
may  be  and  often  are  the  most  serious  moments  of 
the  Hves  of  plaintiff  and  defendant.  In  this  case 
Wood  claimed  £5,000  damages. 


o 


o 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS  25 

Sir  George,  I  know,  never  got  over  these  two 
cases.  He  was  not  implicated  in  the  latter,  but  his 
horses  had  been  trained  in  the  same  stable,  Sher- 
rard's  at  Newmarket,  where  Wood  was  the  chief 
jockey. 

The  amount  of  sarcasm  and  anecdotes  flying 
about  over  this  case  outrivalled  the  Colin  Campbell 
divorce  case.  Mr.  Grain,  brother  of  Corney  Grain, 
was  full  of  stories  about  it,  being  much  interested 
and,  if  I  remember  rightly,  had  something  to  do 
with  the  preparing  of  the  case. 

When  the  Prince  of  Wales  was  returning  from 
India  Sir  George  Chetwynd  went  to  Egypt  to  meet 
him,  taking  a  horse  called  "Countryman"  with  a 
view  to  holding  a  race  meeting  in  the  desert.  He 
backed  the  horse  to  win  a  race  against  a  camel.  I 
regret  I  did  not  hear,  or  have  forgotten,  which  won. 

In  my  opinion  Sir  George  Chetwynd  was  im- 
petuous, childish,  and  often  obstinate,  for  which 
in  his  betting  transactions  he  had  to  pay;  but  he 
was  a  good  judge  of  a  handicap. 

Many  good  men  and  much  good  money  passed 
through  his  hands  at  different  times.  It  was 
towards  the  end  of  his  racing  career  that  he  came 
in  touch  with  Mr.  Benzon,  the  Jubilee  Plunger, 
whose  betting  was  so  sensational.  Indeed  so  wild 
was  it  that  Sir  George  determined  to  try  and  check 
him.  The  plan  he  devised  was  to  get  Mr.  Green- 
wood, the  then  "Hotspur"  of  The  Daily  Telegraph, 
to  talk  to  the  man  like  a  father,  and  point  out  how 
foolish  it  was  to  gamble  in  such  large  sums.     In 


26  FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

Sir  George's  presence  one  day  he  said  to  Mr.  Ben- 
zon,  "Why  can't  you  be  content  with  two  or  three 
hundred  at  a  time  instead  of  the  reckless  way  you 
bet  generally?" 

Mr.  Benzon  listened  attentively,  promising  he 
would  take  such  good  advice,  but  characteristically 
could  not  resist  a  bet  over  it,  saying  he  would  bet 
Mr.  Greenwood  lOO  to  i  that  he  did  not  have  more 
than  200  on  a  horse  again  that  meeting. 

Turning  away,  Mr.  Greenwood  observed  the 
numbers  were  being  hoisted  for  the  next  race,  and 
there  as  usual  was  the  incorrigible  Benzon  at  the 
betting  rail  with  his  book.  Another  pageful  went 
the  same  way  as  the  rest — lost ! 

After  the  race  Mr.  Greenwood  asked  Mr.  Benzon 
if  his  advice  was  working  all  right,  whereupon  he 
replied,  "Oh,  by  the  way,  Greenwood,  I  am  very 
sorry  but  I  owe  you  a  hundred  pounds,"  and  at  once 
offered  the  money,  but  it  was  not  accepted. 

There  was  a  discussion  one  morning  at  breakfast 
at  Ascot  about  the  height  of  certain  men,  which  as 
usual  ended  in  a  bet.  One  man  bet  Lord  Lurgan 
was  not  six  feet,  and  he  bet  in  hats  and  suits  of 
clothes.  Later  in  the  day  some  one  was  despatched 
to  find  Lord  Lurgan  on  the  course  and  ask  him  his 
height.  The  man  returned  to  say  that  Lord  Lurgan 
had  replied  if  anybody  wanted  to  know  his  exact 
height  they  were  to  go  to  the  War  Office  as  he  was 
not  quite  sure  of  it,  but  that  they  would  find  he 
measured  over  six  feet  when  he  joined  the  Guards. 

"What  has  that  to  do  with  it,"  chimed  in  the 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS  27 

man  who  had  betted  the  hats  and  suits  of  clothes, 
"I  am  not  betting  on  the  height  he  was  when  he 
entered  the  Guards,  but  the  height  he  is  at  the 
present  time.  He  may  have  been  six  feet  then  but 
since  that  time  he  has  dropped  many  inches." 

For  the  benefit  of  those  who  never  saw  Sir 
George  I  had  better  describe  him,  but  no,  I  cannot 
do  better  than  give  a  Httle  sketch  of  him  taken  by 
Finch  Mason  on  Newmarket  Heath  when  riding 
one  of  his  New  Forest  ponies,  his  long  legs  nearly 
touching  the  ground.  It  was  taken  in  1878.  Sir 
George  was  then  rather  round-backed,  but  stooped 
much  more  latterly. 

His  racing  colours  were  like  himself,  a  delicate 
shade  of  straw  colour  with  light  blue  sleeves  and 
cap.     He  was  straw  colour  and  had  light  blue  eyes. 

He  lost  his  wife  in  1907. 

For  some  years  before  his  death,  which  took 
place  quite  recently,  Sir  George  did  not  race,  but 
his  colours  up  to  the  day  of  his  death  were,  I  believe, 
in  the  Calendar. 

His  eldest  daughter,  a  handsom.e  girl,  married 
her  cousin,  the  fifth  Marquess  of  Anglesey.  I  well 
remember  what  a  fool  he  made  of  himself  soon 
after  he  married  when  staying  at  Nice  during  Car- 
nival Week.  I  grieved  for  his  poor  young  wife. 
Her  husband  behaved  so  badly  at  a  ball  she  went 
to  with  him  that  she  retired  and  left  him,  while  a 
little  later  he  was  requested  to  leave  the  place  where 
the  ball  was  being  held.  I  was  not  surprised  she 
decided  to  leave  him  to  his  own  devices. 


CHAPTER  II 

Dr.  Godson's  Deal  with  an  Earl — What  He  Did  with  his 
Fees — His  Words  with  the  Dowager  Lady  Lonsdale — 
Dr.  West's  Idea  of  Tact — Lord  Lister  Mends  some 
Broken  Bones — Author  introduces  him  to  Sir  Monier 
Williams — Anaesthetics  in  Pharaoh's  Time — Sir  William 
Jenner  and  his  Son — Sir  William  Visits  the  King — Sir 
James  Paget's  Views  of  Duty — Dr.  Wilkie  Collins  in 
Trouble — Some  Awkward  Moments — A  Country  Prac- 
titioner's Goodness — His  Reward — Dr.  Yorke  Davies 
and  the  Prince  of  Wales  (King  Edward  VH) — The 
Prince  has  Tea  with  the  Author — Meets  with  a  Slight 
Accident — Sir  Maurice  Fitzgerald — Cardinal  Vaughan 
Mistaken  for  Someone  Else — The  Fate  of  Dr.  Lavis 
of  Beaulieu. 

I  FEEL  that  I  have  sadly  neglected  the  doctors 
in  my  last  book,  and  I  have,  both  fortunately 
and  unfortunately,  made  the  acquaintance  of 
many.  There  is  no  profession  for  which  I  have  so 
great  an  admiration;  it  is  the  calling  that  perhaps 
comes  least  before  the  limelight,  yet  demands  great 
sacrifice  from  each  member.  They  daily  perform 
heroic  deeds,  burn  the  candle  at  both  ends,  in  the 
cause  of  suffering  humanity,  and  for  what?  Not 
applause,  they  get  none,  or  reward,  many  get  none 
from  the  world,  not  for  advertisement,  but  because 

?8 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS  29 

they  love  their  work,  because  they  feel  there  is  no 
higher  calling. 

I  am  not  at  the  moment  thinking  of  the  kind 
old-fashioned  country  family  doctor  who  had  three 
cures  for  all  complaints — castor  oil — poultice — or 
the  assistance  of  his  useful  pocket-knife  with  which 
he  budded  roses,  cleaned  trout  when  out  fishing, 
and  operated  on  his  patients — but  of  the  present- 
day  highly  scientific  men  with  investigating  minds 
whose  only  reward  is  a  nice  obituary  notice  when 
they  die,  and  a  knowledge  that  those  dear  to  them 
may  be  left  wanting  the  ordinary  necessities  of  life. 

It  was  only  in  George  II's  reign  that  the  Com- 
pany of  Barbers  were  forbidden  from  practising  the 
art  and  science  of  surgery.  This  sounds  like  a  joke 
but  is  fact,  and  can  be  verified  by  anyone  taking 
the  trouble  to  look  up  Statute  18,  Cap.  XV.  That 
grand  old  sporting  parson,  the  Rev.  Hugh  Palliser 
Costobadie,  used  to  say  "Never  trust  parsons,  doc- 
tors or  lawyers."  As  regards  the  latter  I  have  had 
an  experience  leading  me  to  the  conclusion  that 
perhaps  his  advice  was  sound,  but  the  lawyer  was 
a  poor  henpecked  little  man  who  had  to  do  as  he 
was  told  by  his  wife,  so  must  be  forgiven.  As  to 
the  others,  it  has  been  my  privilege  to  come  under 
the  shadow  of  some  very  good  men  amongst  doctors 
and  parsons. 

Both  doctors  and  clergymen  occasionally  find 
themselves  in  surprisingly  tight  corners  and  some- 
times in  very  amusing  ones,  at  least  they  appear 
amusing  after  the  event,  but  are  not  always  very 


30  FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

funny  at  the  time.  Considering  the  very  intimate 
knowledge  doctors  acquire  of  our  characters,  sins 
and  mistakes,  when  the  social  mask  has  been  re- 
moved, it  speaks  well  for  them  that  they  ever  trust 
anybody  at  all. 

Good  and  kind  Dr.  Godson  of  Grosvenor  Street 
was  one  of  the  most  trustful  of  men,  notwithstand- 
ing his  having  had  from  time  to  time  some  alarm- 
ing eye-openers.  He  had  a  very  large  practice 
amongst  the  big-wigs  of  the  land,  chiefly  ladies,  of 
course,  he  being  a  ladies'  doctor — one  of  the  leading 
men  of  the  day  in  this  line.  He  had  a  decided  weak- 
ness for  high-sounding  names,  and  made  no  bones 
about  it,  acknowledged  it  with  charming  candour, 
but  to  those  who  unfortunately  only  had  more  or 
less  common  or  garden  names,  he  was  good  to  me 
all  the  same ;  I  suppose  he  felt  he  must  have  a  few 
shrimps  in  his  net  if  he  went  fishing. 

He  once  amused  me  by  saying  "Half  the  women 
in  London  come  to  me  because  they  want  babies, 
and  the  other  half  because  they  don't!" 

The  dear  rosy-faced  little  man  always  looked,  as 
Helen  Mathers  once  described  it  to  me,  "As  if  he 
was  just  going  to  have  a  baby  himself,  or  had  just 
had  one !" 

During  one  of  his  visits  to  me  I  remarked  that 
his  horses  were  looking  very  sadly.  He  quite  agreed 
and  expressed  himself  as  ashamed  of  their  appear- 
ance. He  could  not  understand  it,  as  they  had 
belonged  to  an  earl,  who  strongly  advised  his  buying 
them,  saying  they  were  just  the  thing  he  wanted. 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS  31 

I  expressed  the  opinion  that  they  were  hardly 
strong  enough  for  his  hard  work  and  long  hours 
and  that  he  had  paid  £100  too  much  for  them,  ad- 
vising him  to  go  to  some  jobmaster  and  hire  his 
horses  from  him  by  the  year.  They  would  then  be 
properly  looked  after,  and  when  one  lot  was  tired 
a  fresh  pair  would  be  awaiting  him  without  any 
thought  or  anxiety  on  his  part.  He  was  very 
pleased  with  this  idea,  but  rather  pained  that  he 
had  been  taken  in  or  badly  advised  by  his  friend 
the  earl.  When  the  name  of  the  peer  was  given  to 
me  I  was  not  at  all  surprised  that  the  horses  were 
not  satisfactory. 

My  friend  was  strangely  slack  in  all  money  mat- 
ters. I  do  not  mean  by  this  he  owed  anything,  on 
the  contrary  always  paid  up  everybody  to  the  last 
farthing,  I  believe,  but  he  was  very  careless  with 
his  earnings.  At  one  time  I  used  to  collect  old 
clothes  from  my  friends  for  some  poor  people  I 
was  interested  in.  I  asked  Dr.  Godson  if  he  had 
anything  he  would  be  glad  to  get  rid  of  that  my 
maid  could  cut  up  and  make  do  for  an  extremely 
poor  clergyman  with  numerous  children  and  an  in- 
valid wife.  He  presented  me  with  a  greatcoat  and 
a  variety  of  other  useful  things.  When  the  first- 
named  was  being  partly  unpicked  with  a  view  to 
being  made  smaller  for  the  emaciated  parson  I  was 
wishing  to  help,  from  between  the  coat  and  the 
lining  there  rolled  out  several  sovereigns,  evidently 
fees  he  had  shoved  into  his  pocket  and  entirely 
forgotten.     When  I  returned  them  to  him  he  said. 


32  FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

"Oh,  keep  them  for  the  poor  parson,  he  probably 
wants  them  more  than  I  do."  Yet  this  doctor 
worked  hard  for  every  guinea. 

I  remember  him  once  having  a  few  words  with 
the  late  Dowager  Lady  Lonsdale  in  my  house.  It 
appears  that  she  had  said  something  about  his  treat- 
ment of  one  of  her  family  not  being  in  accordance 
with  her  views  of  the  correct  thing  to  do.  This 
had  reached  the  ears  of  Dr.  Godson,  who  was  an- 
noyed. One  day  as  he  was  leaving  my  house  and 
Lady  Lonsdale  was  entering  they  met.  Dr.  Godson 
requested  her  to  be  careful  what  she  said,  and  there 
was  quite  a  pow-wow.     I  effaced  myself. 

When  the  Duchess  Paul  of  Mecklenburg-Schwe- 
rin  was  so  dangerously  ill  after  being  thrown  out 
of  her  carriage,  I  recommended  that  Dr.  Godson 
be  sent  for.  I  wonder  if  he  ever  was  rewarded  for 
his  services.  I  know  some  people  had  considerable 
difficulty  in  getting  what  was  owing  to  them  by 
these  German  royalties. 

Doctors  seem  to  resent  this  sort  of  treatment  less 
than  most  people.  I  remember  Dr.  Godson  telling 
me  as  quite  a  good  joke  about  his  having  been 
routed  out  of  bed  after  a  tiring  day  and  told  his 
services  were  required  at  the  Hotel  Metropole,  a 
lady  visiting  there  having  been  taken  very  ill. 
When  he  arrived,  he  found  she  was  very  danger- 
ously ill,  and  a  young  and  devoted  husband  (?)  on 
the  verge  of  madness  with  grief.  He  attended  this 
beauteous  lady  for  several  days,  wresting  her  from 
the  jaws  of  death,  receiving  many  grateful  thanks 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS  33 

from  her  husband.  They  appeared  to  be  people 
of  considerable  means  and  were  living  in  luxury. 
One  morning  when  he  went  to  pay  a  visit,  consider- 
ing his  patient  still  too  ill  to  get  up  or  be  left  unat- 
tended, he  was  told  they  had  gone  from  the  hotel, 
paid  their  bill,  but  left  no  address !  He  never  heard 
anything  more  of  them  or  of  their  gratitude. 

Dr.  West,  the  great  children's  doctor,  was  latterly 
rather  a  foolish  person  I  thought,  and  very  much 
spoilt.  He  came  to  see  a  small  boy  of  mine  who 
was  at  death's  door,  being  called  in  to  see  if  he 
could  find  out  what  was  the  matter,  as  many  doctors 
were  puzzled.  He  knew  no  more  than  the  rest,  if  as 
much,  and  after  expressing  it  as  his  opinion  that 
while  there  was  "life  there  was  hope,"  he  began 
tituping  downstairs,  shaking  his  bunches  of  grey 
hair  as  he  frisked,  and  saying,  "Now  I  am  on  my 
way  to  see  a  most  important  baby,  a  little  Roths- 
child." My  sister,  who  was  with  me  at  the  time, 
suggested  perhaps  my  baby  was  as  important  to 
me  as  the  Rothschild  baby  to  his  people.  To  this 
he  replied  cheerfully,  "Oh,  yes!  Quite  so,  quite 
so,"  and  continued  tituping  down  the  stairs. 

At  one  time  when  a  horse  had  inconsiderately 
rolled  over  me.  Sir  Joseph  Lister  (afterwards  Lord 
Lister)  came  to  set  some  broken  bones.  I  thought 
him  a  very  charming  man,  but  he  could  not  put  a 
bandage  on  properly.  I  suppose  he  had  forgotten 
how  to  do  anything  so  elementary.  I  wanted  to 
go  to  a  bonesetter  named  Hutton,  who  was  rather 
famous  at  that  time,  but  Dr.  Priestley  dissuaded  me. 


34  FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

I  remember  having-  an  animated  discussion  with 
Sir  Joseph  as  to  who  had  really  invented  anaes- 
thetics. It  was  a  subject  that  interested  me,  be- 
cause I  once  had  the  advantage  of  having  some 
ancient  Egyptian  manuscripts  translated  to  me  by 
Sir  Monier  Williams,  Professor  of  Sanscrit  at 
Oxford,  who  had  a  great  knowledge  of  dead  lan- 
guages. These  documents  referred  to  a  "root  of 
the  earth"  and  certain  herbs  which  were  used  in 
the  time  of  the  Pharaohs  to  deaden  pain  and  cause 
people  to  go  into  a  temporary  sleep  or  trance.  From 
the  description  we  came  to  the  conclusion  it  was  an 
anaesthetic  something  after  the  fashion  of  chloro- 
form. Sir  Monier  thought  it  quite  possible  some 
ancient  warriors  had  been  buried  alive  while  under 
the  influence  of  these  tieatments.  There  was  also 
a  description  curiously  expressed  of  how  they 
stopped  bleeding  by  the  application  of  certain  birds' 
nests  and  cobwebs.  From  the  documents  trans- 
lated to  me  I  gathered  the  ancient  Egyptians  were 
the  inventors  of  anaesthetics,  and  not  our  later-day 
physicians,  though  no  doubt  they  improved  upon 
them. 

In  consequence  of  this  conversation  Sir  Joseph 
said  he  would  much  like  to  meet  Sir  Monier,  and  I 
arranged  this.  I  had  hoped  to  hear  much  of  inter- 
est, but  they  became  so  highly  technical  I  was  lost, 
and,  as  I  could  not  interrupt  them  with  questions, 
they  forgot  all  about  poor  me.  I  came  to  the  con- 
clusion it  is  an  ungrateful  world! 

When   I  was  starting  for   India,   Sir   William 


Sir  William  Jenner 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS  35 

Jenner,  who  I  always  thought  looked  like  a  Japan- 
ese, but  who  of  course  was  nothing  of  the  kind, 
came  to  see  me  and  said  his  son  was  in  the  9th 
Lancers  out  there  and  that  I  should  be  sure  of  see- 
ing him.  Knowing  India  to  be  a  largish  place  I 
had  some  doubts  about  this.  It  so  happened,  how- 
ever, that  I  did  run  across  Mr.  Jenner  before  very 
long,  in  one  of  the  hill  stations,  sure  rendezvous  in 
the  hot  weather.  Mr.  Jenner  was  a  smart,  good- 
looking  youth,  very  musical,  and  he  played  the 
piano  exceedingly  well.  He  is  now  the  reigning 
baronet.  He  married  one  of  Sir  Donald  Stewart's 
cheery  daughters. 

Sir  William  Jenner  the  doctor  was  a  favourite  at 
Court,  having  attended  the  Prince  Consort  in  his 
last  illness  and  the  Prince  of  Wales  at  Sandring- 
ham;  being  made  a  baronet  and  K.C.B.  in  return 
for  devoted  services.  Queen  Victoria  took  a  per- 
sonal interest  in  him  and  his  affairs. 

I  have  heard  it  stated  that  Sir  William  was  the 
discoverer  of  vaccination,  which  is  quite  a  mistake. 
A  man  named  Jenner  of  another  family  and  the 
Christian  name  of  Edward  was  the  benefactor  of 
mankind  by  this  discovery. 

Sir  William  Jenner,  however,  established  the 
difference  between  typhoid  and  typhus  fevers  in 
1851. 

Another  leading  light  in  the  profession.  Sir 
James  Paget,  came  down  to  the  Isle  of  Wight  to 
see  my  sister  once,  and  I  met  him  several  times  after 
that.     He  had  not  the  comfortable  round-about- 


36  FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

waistcoat  of  Sir  William  Jenner,  indeed  he  looked 
as  if  he  had  no  inside  at  all,  he  was  so  thin,  and  he 
walked  leaning  over  the  vacuum  as  if  missing  its 
support. 

I  liked  to  hear  him  talk  of  his  early  life  and 
struggles.  The  high  pinnacle  of  fame  he  climbed 
left  him  quite  unspoilt;  he  was  a  stern-mannered, 
highly  conscientious  man,  but  devoid  of  that  saving 
clause  in  life,  a  sense  of  humour.  He  was  painfully 
matter-of-fact,  and  if  by  chance  one  made  a  joke, 
it  was  necessary  to  go  through  the  ordeal  of  explain- 
ing it,  and  after  that  he  rewarded  by  a  smile  that 
plainly  said,  ''what  deplorable  waste  of  time."  Sir 
James  made  a  great  name  for  himself  as  a  surgeon, 
and  was  eminently  a  practical  man. 

He  told  me  that  in  his  practice  he  felt  it  his 
duty  not  only  to  satisfy  himself  with  his  physical 
examination;  but  must  satisfy  the  patient  with 
therapeutic  value,  for,  he  added,  "what  may  be 
quite  satisfactory  to  the  doctor's  mind  may  not  be 
by  any  means  so  satisfactory  to  the  patient's." 
Another  point  he  considered  of  importance  was  to 
steer  clear  of  patients'  prejudices.  He  spoke  with 
much  feeling  of  the  way  doctors  are  often  thrown 
down  by  the  nurses  on  whom  they  have  to  rely  for 
accurate  information. 

Hippocrates,  the  unrivalled  genius  of  twenty- 
three  hundred  years  or  more,  says,  "Our  natures 
are  the  physicians  of  our  diseases."  Not  being  an 
unrivalled  genius  I  prefer  relying  on  my  medical 
man. 


Sir  James  I'aget 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS  37 

Sir  James  Paget  was  sent  for  when  the  late  Earl 
of  Minto  had  such  a  terrible  fall  in  his  earlier  days 
while  riding  in  the  Grand  National.  The  impres- 
sion was  that  his  neck  was  broken,  yet,  thanks  to 
the  great  surgeon's  skill,  his  patient  recovered. 

Some  years  later  when  Lord  Minto  went  to  see 
Sir  James  on  another  matter,  the  surgeon  referred 
to  the  accident  of  bygone  days,  saying,  ''Well,  all 
I  can  say  is  you  are  one  of  those  extraordinary 
people  who  has  broken  his  neck  and  recovered," 
adding  meditatively,  "It  is  most  valuable." 

Lord  Minto  replied,  'T  will  leave  that  portion  of 
my  anatomy  to  you,  Sir  James,  in  my  will." 

"Oh,  I  shall  be  dead  long  before  you,  but  the 
College  of  Surgeons  would  very  much  like  to  have 
it,  I  can  assure  you." 

It  was  a  very  curious  accident  and  a  curious  re- 
covery. For  months  Lord  Minto  was  practically 
a  cripple,  the  muscles  of  his  neck  shrank,  pulling 
his  head  down  on  one  side,  he  suffered  great  pain 
in  his  shoulder  and  arm,  never  quite  losing  the 
latter  to  the  end  of  his  days.  In  spite  of  this  and 
the  entreaties  of  his  friends  he  would  ride  again  a 
few  months  later  and  had  another  bad  fall  in 
November,  the  first  having  been  in  March. 

Then  there  was  poor  Wilkie  Collins  of  Cadogan 
Place,  the  smart  little  doctor  of  the  Guards,  which 
regiment  I  forget.  His  name  was  not  Wilkie  really, 
but  his  initial  being  "W"  he  was  known  as  Wilkie 
Collins,  a  sort  of  nickname  of  general  liking,  and 
after  the  novelist,  with  whom,  however,  he  was  in 


38  FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

no  way  related.  Dr.  Collins'  expenses  were  bigger 
than  his  banking  account  and  this  led  to  trouble, 
partly  from  borrowing  and  partly  from  anxiety  to 
make  some  money  quickly.  That  he  helped  many 
a  poor  soul  in  trouble  I  know,  and  after  all  where 
there  is  a  demand  there  will  always  be  a  supply, 
try  and  suppress  it  as  you  may.  I  was  very  sorry 
for  him  latterly,  he  was  in  such  low  water  before 
the  final  crash,  when  he  had  to  retire  from  the 
world. 

One  day  I  was  trying  to  remember  the  name  of  a 
patient  of  his  that  I  knew  quite  well,  but  could  not 
for  the  moment  recall,  so  I  said,  "Oh,  help  me,  do? 
You  know  who  I  mean  quite  well."  He  replied, 
*T  make  a  point  of  never  remembering  the  names 
of  any  of  my  patients!"  There  was  obviously  no 
more  to  be  said. 

Another  doctor  living  in  the  south-west  district 
spent  the  best  part  of  an  afternoon  one  wet  day  in 
a  small  hotel  by  the  riverside  amusing  me  with 
stories  of  dilemmas  in  which  he  had  found  himself 
during  his  medical  career.  Whether  he  was  pecu- 
liarly unfortunate,  or  whether  it  is  habitual  to  the 
profession,  I  cannot  say,  but  I  think  doctors  and 
parsons  often  find  themselves  in  awkward  corners. 
The  man  I  am  thinking  of  ended  by  being  one  of 
the  learned  men  called  to  the  bedside  of  Royalties 
when  ill. 

I  knew  him  first  in  1880.  He  was  rather  an 
attractive-looking  person,  and,  in  spite  of  the  sad- 
ness of  his  profession,  full  of  mirth  and  humour. 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS  39 

He  told  me  the  first  difficulty  he  got  into  was  with 
a  nurse  in  the  hospital  where  he  was  studying.  He 
described  the  situation  amusingly.  No  matter  how 
he  tried  to  avoid  her  she  would  faint  in  his  arms 
just  as  someone  came  around  the  corner,  until  he 
made  up  his  mind  he  would  have  to  be  brutal.  Even 
that  was  no  use,  so  he  persuaded  another  student 
to  wean  her  away  from  him  and,  upon  his  express- 
ing his  jealousy  of  her  perfidy,  he  got  out  of  the 
mess.  He  could,  he  vowed,  have  nothing  more  to 
do  with  a  woman  who  did  not  know  her  own  mind 
for  five  minutes  together,  etc.  There  followed 
tears  and  tempests  and  then  out  on  to  the  open  sea 
in  calm  water  once  more. 

The  next  trouble  he  encountered  was  when  he 
began  practising.  A  young  woman  he  was  asked  to 
attend  for  hallucinations  thought  she  had  fallen 
violently  in  love  with  him,  and  spent  her  time  in 
writing  the  most  compromising  letters  and  insisted 
on  embracing  him  whenever  he  entered  the  room, 
until  at  last  he  explained  to  the  girl's  father  it  would 
be  better  for  her  to  have  a  fresh  doctor.  Mean- 
while some  domestic  at  home,  under  notice  of  leave, 
spent  her  leisure  hours  in  piecing  these  letters  to- 
gether and  holding  them  over  his  head,  a  sort  of 
blackmail  business,  saying  she  would  let  everybody 
know  how  he  behaved  with  his  patients.  Having 
just  been  married,  this  was  very  awkward  and  very 
nearly  caused  an  estrangement  between  him  and  his 
bride. 

With  these  and  other  stories  he  passed  away  an 


40  FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

afternoon  for  me  that  would  otherwise  have  been 
dull,  as  I  was  doing  "gooseberry"  to  a  girl  friend 
and  her  ''young  man,"  so  had  to  be  in  evidence  yet 
out  of  sight  so  to  speak.  None  of  us  could  go  on 
the  river  as  it  poured  with  rain,  and  I  had  not  the 
heart  to  take  the  girl  home  again  when  she  was 
having  a  good  time. 

I  must  not  forget  that  interesting  character  Sir 
Henry  Thompson,  surgeon,  epicure  and  collector  of 
old  Nankin  china,  who  lived  in  Wimpole  Street. 

He  suffered  from  diabetes,  and  used  to  spend  a 
good  deal  of  time  at  the  Royal  Marine  Hotel  in  the 
Isle  of  Wight,  where  I  also  have  been  a  frequent 
visitor.  He  used  to  arrive  with  a  large  consign- 
ment of  a  particular  biscuit  he  considered  good  for 
his  complaint.  They  were  most  unsatisfying,  much 
like  eating  a  kid  glove. 

The  doctor's  dinners  in  Wimpole  Street,  or  his 
octaves,  as  he  used  to  call  them,  the  number  being 
limited  to  eight,  were  much  appreciated  by  his 
friends  and  invitations  sought  after. 

Lady  Dorothy  Nevill  told  him  she  would  like  to 
be  asked.  ''Certainly,"  said  Sir  Henry,  "but  you 
will  have  to  wear  trousers." 

Sir  Henry  was  a  firm  believer  in  cremation;  and 
had  a  good  deal  to  do  with  forming  the  company 
that  erected  the  crematorium  at  Golders  Green  in 
1902. 

An  excellent  cartoon  appeared  of  him  in  a  paper 
called  TJie  Throne,  that  was  edited  by  a  Royalty 
and  run  by  the  "Upper  Ten." 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS  41 

He  operated  successfully  on  Napoleon  III,  but 
his  patient  was  in  too  weak  a  state  to  recover  from 
the  anaesthetic. 

Sir  Henry  was  not  a  man  of  many  words.  To 
his  patients  his  advice  to  many  was  "Live  on  six- 
pence a  week  and  earn  it." 

In  spite  of  bad  health  he  lived  the  allotted  span 
and  was  a  most  abstemious  man. 

It  has  been  reserved  for  me  to  meet  the  most 
delightful  and  most  clever  doctor  of  my  life  in  my 
autumn  days,  besides  being  the  kindest  hearted  and 
most  conscientious  man  I  have  ever  met,  added  to 
which  he  has  the  delicate  mind  of  a  high  art 
magazine. 

Doctors  are  a  wonderful  crowd,  they  spend  their 
lives  doing  good  with  their  right  hands  and  not 
allowing  their  left  to  know  it.  The  man  I  am 
thinking  of  is  wonderful  in  this  respect  and  a 
delightful  companion,  being  exceptionally  well- 
informed  and  interested  in  everything.  He  will 
take  infinite  pains  to  soften  the  blows  fate  loves  to 
shower  on  unfortunate  humanity.  I  will  call  this 
friend  Dr.  M.  Soon  after  he  was  married,  when 
very  pleased  with  himself,  his  wife,  his  home  and 
the  world,  Christmas  came  around.  What  he 
would  have  liked  to  do  was  to  spend  it  in  his  own 
home,  but  a  patient,  who  was  too  ill  to  care  for 
having  anyone  round  her  except  her  own  people, 
who  were  all  far  away,  was  alone.  Dr.  M.  turned 
up  to  sit  with  her  for  a  while  and  help  her  to  forget 


42  FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

the  bygone  days  when,  with  health  and  dear  ones 
around  her,  Christmas  had  been  a  happy  time. 

On  another  occasion  a  poor  girl  I  knew  was  very 
ill,  and  there  appeared  to  be  nobody  responsible. 
I  found  this  kind  man  spending  his  time  and  energy 
on  her  day  after  day,  and  when  I  asked  him  who 
was  going  to  pay  him  he  said,  ''Nobody,  I  look  upon 
her  as  one  of  God's  patients." 

Yet  even  this  great  soul  could  not  escape  some  of 
the  awkward  situations  that  seem  inevitable  to  doc- 
tors, especially  those  with  kind  hearts.  He  lives 
in  a  small  country  village  where  he  is  sought  out  by 
those  both  near  and  far.  There  came  into  the 
country  one  day  a  smart  lady  who  rented  a  house 
a  few  miles  from  where  the  doctor  lived,  and  she 
asked  him  to  attend  her  in  her  approaching  ac- 
couchement. This  was  arranged  satisfactorily. 
No  husband  appeared  on  the  scenes.     This  Hon. 

Mrs. ,  as  she  called  herself,  had  only  a  maid 

with  her,  but  soon  settled  into  the  little  house  she 
was  renting  for  a  few  months. 

One  day  the  doctor  was  sent  for  hastily,  as  the 
infant  insisted  on  making  its  appearance  before  it 
was  expected.  The  lady  was  very  ill  and  the  doctor 
had  an  anxious  time  with  her,  added  to  which  in 
the  midst  of  everything  the  maid  decamped  and  he 
was  left  alone  to  be  mother  to  the  lady,  nurse  to 
the  baby  and  general  servant.  After  washing  and 
dressing  the  infant  and  attending  to  its  mother, 
the  doctor  went  off  to  telegraph  for  a  trained  nurse 
and  a  domestic  of  sorts.     Thanks  to  his  goodness 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS  43 

and  resourcefulness  all  went  well,  and  he  thought 
the  lady  very  charming. 

At  the  end  of  a  fortnight  the  invalid  declared  her 
intention  of  going  to  town  on  urgent  business.  The 
doctor  objected,  thinking  her  not  sufficiently  recov- 
ered after  being  so  ill,  but  she  went  in  spite  of  all 
his  protestations,  taking  the  baby  with  her.  She 
returned  no  more;  the  rent  was  unpaid,  the  doctor 
unpaid,  and  most  of  the  tradespeople  in  the  same 
predicament.  What  made  it  harder  was  that  the 
nurse  had  to  be  paid  by  the  doctor  who  had  sent 
for  her,  also  the  car  which  brought  her  out  many 
miles  into  the  country!  After  this  experience  en- 
quiries were  made,  and  it  was  found  this  same  game 
had  been  played  before  elsewhere,  and  everybody 
left  unpaid. 

Some  time  after  this  little  ten  days'  wonder  had 
subsided,  the  doctor  happened  to  be  in  London  and 
going  somewhere  by  Tube.  When  he  got  out  at 
his  station  he  found  himself  face  to  face  with  the 

so-called  Hon.  Mrs.  who  had  played  him  the 

trick.  When  he  told  me  of  this  meeting  I  naturally 
enquired  what  he  said  on  the  occasion,  and  he  con- 
fessed he  was  so  taken  by  surprise  that  he  said 
nothing  beyond  asking  after  her  health ! 

Oh!  who  would  be  a  doctor?  What  surprises 
they  get  sometimes !  There  was  one  doctor  in  India 
who  attended  me  when  I  was  so  ill  that  it  was 
thought  I  could  not  possibly  recover.  I  do  not 
remember  much  about  it  at  the  time,  but  dear  Padre 
Adams,  the  V.C.  parson,  was  by  my  bedside,  my 


44  FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

husband  weeping  on  my  pillow,  the  doctor  with 
folded  arms  standing  at  the  foot  of  the  bed  awaiting 
the  end,  when  in  a  moment  of  returning  conscious- 
ness the  Padre  asked  me  if  there  was  anything  he 
could  do  for  me,  if  there  was  anything  I  would  like 
to  tell  him.  All  were  breathlessly  waiting  to  hear 
me  say  I  left  all  my  worldly  goods  to  the  Home  for 
Lost  Dogs,  or  some  such  thing,  when  I  am  told  I 
said,  "I  want  some  shrimps!"  I  remember  I  had 
been  grieving  before  I  became  too  ill,  thinking  I 
should  never  again  go  shrimping  or  paddle  with  my 
little  bairns,  so  I  suppose  shrimps  were  on  my  mind. 

One  doctor,  I  forget  which,  told  me  of  a  poor 
woman  he  had  been  called  in  to  see.  When  he 
arrived  she  was  propped  up  in  a  kitchen-chair  out- 
side her  cottage  door.  In  a  moment  he  saw  she 
was  past  any  help  of  his.  He  asked  w4iat  had  been 
done  for  her,  and  was  told,  "We  picked  her  up, 
gave  her  water  to  drink,  burnt  feathers  under  her 
nose,  and  every  other  form  of  restitution  we  could 
think  of!" 

On  another  occasion  the  same  doctor  had  been 
sent  for  to  the  bedside  of  a  poor  man  he  had  been 
attending  ''for  love."  He  found  the  forbidding- 
looking  old  wife  sitting  by  the  side  of  her  straight 
and  stiff-looking  husband  who  was  lying  on  the  bed 
with  his  face  covered  up.  She  held  her  apron  to 
her  eyes  and,  when  she  saw  the  doctor  coming, 
rocked  herself  backwards  and  forwards  with  more 
pronounced  grief,  saying,  "He  gas  gorne,  doctor, 
he  has  gorne."    .    .    .     (Sobs.) 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS  45 

"And  I  'ave  been  a  good  wife  to  him  that  I 
'ave!"  From  the  bed  came  a  feeble  voice,  "Pretty 
well,  Mary — only  pretty  well." 

It  is  difficult  to  say  why  some  doctors  are  to-day 
distinguished  ornaments  to  their  profession.  They 
do  not  know  themselves  how  it  happened  any  more 
than  many  learned,  clever  and  lovable  men  can  say 
why  they  are  still  in  obscurity,  except  that  some 
seem  to  prefer  it. 

One  of  the  things  that  strikes  me  as  most  strange 
in  this  highly  complex  civilisation  of  which  we 
boast,  is  that  certain  folks  have  to  make  their  livings 
out  of  other  people's  sufferings — doctors  to  wit.  It 
seems  all  wrong. 

I  have  come  to  the  conclusion  that  only  a  good 
man  can  be  a  good  doctor,  and  I  am  more  glad 
than  I  can  find  words  to  express  that  before  the 
end  of  my  days  I  have  met  so  good,  kind  and  con- 
scientious a  man  as  my  friend  Dr.  M.  It  is  an 
uplifting  experience  to  meet  someone  you  can  thor- 
oughly respect.  Gifts  of  mind  are  more  dazzling 
than  sound. 

Doctors  are  weighed  in  the  balance  as  no  other 
men  are,  and  they  get  rusty  more  quickly  than  in 
any  other  profession.  It  is  well  they  should  re- 
member how  eagerly  the  sick  and  the  feeble  gather 
up  the  crumbs  from  the  table  of  the  strong  and  of 
those  experienced  in  sickness. 

I  do  not  remember  exactly  how  many  years  ago 
it  was  that  a  new  medical  luminary  shone  out  in 
Harley  Street.    He  became  the  hope  and  joy  of  the 


46  FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

over-plump,  ranging  from  the  late  King  Edward 
VII  to  my  humble  self.  The  name  of  this  benefac- 
tor was  Dr.  Yorke-Davies,  and  although  the  prin- 
ciple of  his  system  is  now  pretty  well  known,  it 
struck  us  at  the  time  as  very  novel  and  exciting. 

Roughly  outlined  he  reduced  people's  weight  by 
letting  them  eat  as  much  as  they  wanted,  only  of 
non-fattening  foods.  Hitherto  we  had  associated 
weight  reducing  with  banting,  running  in  blankets, 
or  woolly  jerseys  and  such-like  discomforts. 

Under  the  new  system  we  were  all  allowed  plenty 
of  satisfying  things  to  eat,  and  had  the  comfort  of 
thinking  we  were  not  adding  fuel  to  the  fire  of 
increasing  weight.  We  all  bought  the  sweetest 
things  in  weighing  machines  under  the  doctor's 
orders,  and  weekly  recorded  our  loss  of  weight  on 
elaborate  weight  and  diet  forms. 

In  1895,  when  the  Prince  of  Wales  had  developed 
a  very  noticeable  amplitude  of  figure  and  during 
his  visit  to  Homburg,  that  he  expressed  a  wish  to 
try  Dr.  Yorke-Davies'  weight  reducing  methods.  It 
so  happened  that  the  doctor  was  in  Homburg  at  the 
time. 

Colonel  Stanley  Clarke  therefore  wrote  a  note 
asking  him  if  he  would  call,  or  in  Royal  parlance 
commanded  him  to  call  at  Ritter's  Park  Hotel, 
where  the  Prince  was  staying.  At  that  time  he 
turned  the  scales  at  16  stone  4  pounds. 

Dr.  Davies  visited  the  patient  daily,  advising  him 
as  to  diet,  with  the  result  that  during  those  few 


Dr.  Nathaniel  Vorke-Davies 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS  47 

short  weeks  at  Homburg  his  Royal  Highness  lost 
twenty  pounds,  and  felt  miles  better  for  it- 

In  1896  the  doctor  again  attended  the  Prince  at 
Marlborough  House. 

I  remember  His  Royal  Highness  remarking  to 
me  one  day  that  he  found  it  very  difficult  to  adhere 
strictly  to  the  diet  allowed  him,  saying  jokingly  that 
he  was  only  allowed  the  oyster  out  of  a  mutton  chop 
and  dry  toast  for  dinner.  I  said  under  those  cir- 
cumstances would  he  condescend  to  dine  with  us  as 
I  felt  sure  we  could  provide  that  simple  fare!  As 
usual  the  Prince  did  not  lose  the  opportunity  of  say- 
ing something  courteous  and  kind,  asking  if  he 
might  come  to  tea  instead  as  he  felt  it  would  be  an 
insult  to  my  cook  not  to  be  able  to  eat  the  good 
things  for  which  he  was  so  famous ;  he  would  like  to 
keep  that  pleasure  in  store  for  a  time  when  not  on  a 
special  diet. 

A  few  days  later  I  received  a  note  from  Colonel 
Stanley  Clarke  fixing  a  Sunday  for  our  little  tea 
party;  his  Royal  Highness  arrived  punctually  at 
the  hour  that  had  been  named,  accompanied  by  Sir 
Maurice  Fitzgerald. 

I  have  never  forgotten  that  tea,  for  a  dreadful 
thing  happened.  I  was  showing  to  the  Prince  some 
Indian  photographs  he  was  anxious  to  see.  The 
light  was  not  very  good  and  I  asked  Sir  Maurice 
if  he  would  pull  down  a  little  lower  the  lamp  sus- 
pended above  my  head.  This  was  done,  enabling 
us  to  see  better,  but  we  forgot  to  push  it  up  again, 
so  when  the  Prince  stood  up  to  take  his  departure 


48  FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

he  bumped  his  head,  it  was  a  swinging  lamp  happily, 
but  gave  him  an  unpleasant  blow  all  the  same. 

The  Prince  laughed  and  made  a  joke  of  it,  but 
I  felt  much  distressed,  and  so  did  Sir  Maurice 
Fitzgerald. 

The  first  time  I  met  handsome  Sir  Maurice,  with 
his  dark  dare-devil  eyes,  was  when  having  tea  at 
Cowes  with  the  Custs,  where  he  and  Lady  Sefton 
joined  us.  On  our  return  to  town  he  came  to  one 
of  my  Sunday  afternoons  when  anybody  and  every- 
body could  come  who  felt  kindly  disposed  towards 
me.  It  so  happened  that  the  room  was  very  full 
and  I  was  struggling  to  entertain,  with  my  rather 
sketchy  French,  dear  old  Rustem  Pasha,  at  that 
time  (1885)  Turkish  Ambassador  in  London,  so  I 
had  no  time  to  give  impressive  personal  greetings 
to  everybody.  As  soon  as  I  was  free  for  a  moment 
Sir  Maurice  came  and  sat  down  beside  me,  saying, 
"Am  I  in  disgrace,  you  have  not  spoken  to  me  all 
the  afternoon?"  I  suggested  that  I  could  not  well 
shout  at  him  across  the  heads  of  other  friends,  and 
I  would  now  make  up  for  lost  time  by  saying  how 
pleased  I  was  to  see  him,  and  that  it  was  nice  to 
feel  he  was  there  even  if  he  could  not  get  near 
enough  to  converse,  etc.  He  was  not  quite  happy 
even  then  and  said,  *T  believe  somebody  has  been 
telling  tales  about  me ;  they  have  now,  haven't  they  ? 
I  know  someone  has  been  telling  you  I  am  a  rude, 
bold,  bad  man !"  I  told  him  of  course  they  had,  but 
that  the  story  was  of  such  old  standing  I  had 
entirely  recovered  from  the  shock. 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS  49 

I  remember  the  Prince  saying  to  me  the  year 
"Persimmon"  won  the  Derby,  I  think  it  was  1896, 
how  he  wished  he  were  a  plain  Mr.  Jones,  and  able 
to  go  to  the  Derby  and  have  a  little  bet  and  be 
able  to  sneeze  without  having  it  all  chronicled  in 
the  evening  papers. 

I  am  told  that  "Persimmon"  was  so  called  after 
the  tree  of  that  name,  which  came  originally  from 
America.  It  is  rather  like  the  cocoa  palm,  the  bark 
being  tessellated  like  tiles  all  the  way  up.  The 
foliage  being  at  the  extreme  top,  like  the  trees  we 
used  to  find  in  our  Noah's  arks  when  we  were 
children. 

There  is  a  good  specimen  of  the  tree  in  Kew 
Gardens  standing  close  to  one  of  the  temples,  and 
the  tree  that  was  planted  from  the  grave  of  the  first 
Napoleon. 

Some  friends  were  sitting  near  this  tree  one  day 
when  a  'Arry  and  his  'Arriet  came  round  the  corner 
arm  in  arm,  and  stopped  in  front  of  the  tree. 
'Arry  scratched  his  head  looking  long  and  earn- 
estly at  the  name  on  the  tree,  then  turning  with  an 
enlightened  smile  to  his  love  said,  "Well,  I  am 
blessed  if  they  'ave  not  been  and  named  this  'ere 
tree  after  the  Prince  of  Wiles  'orse." 

The  subject  of  Dr.  Yorke-Davies  has  led  me  into 
others  until  he  has  been  entirely  left  behind;  it  is 
difficult  with  such  a  crowd  of  memories  of  all  sorts 
and  kinds  not  to  branch  off  to  other  people,  who 
have  come  on  my  stage  about  the  same  time. 

The  last  time  I  saw  Dr.  Yorke-Davies  was  at 


50  FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

Beaulieu  in  the  Riviera.  Dr.  Lavis,  an  English- 
man living  in  that  little  village,  vi^ho  had  married  a 
French  wife  and  made  his  home  in  France,  was 
teasing  him  about  his  figure,  saying  he  was  not  a 
good  advertisement  for  the  theories  he  preached. 
Dr.  Yorke-Davies  took  the  chaff  in  good  part  and, 
while  pulling  down  his  waistcoat  and  holding  in  his 
lower  chest,  replied  laughingly,  "You  must  allow 
weight  for  age."  He  has  also  been  known  to  give 
another  reply  when  teased  about  his  figure,  "He 
who  drives  fat  cattle  should  himself  be  fat." 

There  was  really  no  occasion  to  tease  the  poor 
man  about  his  figure,  he  was  nothing  more  than 
"comfortable";  but  he  so  enjoyed  a  good  dinner 
that  it  gave  an  opening  to  his  friends  to  chaflf  him. 

Mrs.  Stannard  of  "Bootle's  Baby"  fame  was  an- 
other patient  who  swore  by  Dr.  Davies'  treatment; 
he  certainly  did  wonders  for  her.  Besides  being 
clever  in  reducing  weight  without  drugs  of  any 
kind,  he  had  a  pleasant  manner,  always  looked 
clean,  smart  and  well  dressed.  He  was  very  proud 
of  his  beautiful  wife;  I  remember  seeing  her  at 
Monte  Carlo  once,  bicycling  on  her  way  to  Nice, 
she  was  even  then  a  beautiful  woman  after  the 
stress  and  storm  of  many  years. 

Dr.  Davies'  butler  used  to  fill  me  with  admira- 
tion. Instead  of  the  funeral  black  that  is  usually 
worn  by  butlers,  he  answered  the  door  in  exceed- 
clothes  which  he  carried  with  impressive  dignity  as 
ingly  well-cut  and  fitting  pepper  and  salt  mufti 
behove  a  person  accustomed  to  announcing  "all 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS  51 

mighty  big  wigs."  His  tie  and  collar  were  things 
of  beauty,  and  his  boots,  I  have  never  seen  anything 
so  smart  on  a  servant  before.  This  beauteous 
person  had  been  in  the  family  many  years,  and  had 
grown  more  or  less  confidential. 

One  day  when  Cardinal  Vaughan  arrived  with- 
out this  servant  having  been  acquainted  of  his 
expected  visit,  he  showed  the  prelate  into  the  wait- 
ing-room in  the  usual  way  asking  his  name.  The 
servant  sought  his  master  saying,  "A  Colonel 
Vaughan  wished  to  see  him,"  at  the  same  time  re- 
marking (owing  to  the  fact  that  the  ''Colonel"  was 
robed),  'T  think  he  must  be  a  colonel  of  the  Salva- 
tion Army !" 

Dr.  Lavis,  to  whom  I  have  referred,  was  killed 
in  a  motor  accident  in  the  early  part  of  the  great 
war. 

The  famous  physician  Sir  William  Gull,  also  had 
an  amusing  butler.  A  patient  of  importance  call- 
ing one  day  to  see  Sir  William  was  told  by  the  butler 
that  his  master  was  too  busy  to  see  anybody  without 
previous  appointment;  he  added,  ^'We  are  full  up, 
but  there  is  another  fellow  across  the  way  whom 
you  might  see,  we  have  a  good  opinion  of  him." 
The  "other  fellow"  happened  to  be  Sir  William 
Jenner ! 

When  Sir  William  Gull  was  attending  the  then 
Prince  of  Wales  when  he  nearly  died  of  typhoid, 
the  Duke  of  Connaught  observing  him  to  be  busy 
with  a  pencil  on  the  back  of  a  telegraph  form  asked 
what  he  was  doing.     The  doctor  replied,  "I  am 


52  FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

making  a  sketch  bearing  the  inscription  'Don't  talk 
to  the  man  at  the  wheel.'  "  The  poor  man  while 
attending  to  his  patient  had  evidently  been  some- 
what harassed  by  too  much  conversation. 

Sir  William  had  engaged  a  special  and  favourite 
nurse  for  his  Royal  patient  and  had  left  her  in 
charge  while  he  prowled  up  and  down  outside  to  be 
ready  if  wanted;  before  long,  she  came  rushing 
after  him  to  say  that  she  had  observed  a  sudden 
change  and  that  the  patient  was  dying.  Evidently 
her  nerves  were  upset  by  her  great  anxiety  and 
responsibility,  for,  as  a  matter  of  fact,  this  was  the 
turning-point,  and  from  that  moment  the  Prince 
began  to  recover  and  quickly  reached  convalescence. 
The  first  thing  he  asked  for  was  a  glass  of  beer, 
which  was  promptly  supplied. 

I  also  remember  when  women  doctors  sought  to 
become  the  fashion,  and  I  asked  the  advice  of  one 
after  a  fast  trotter  of  ours  had  fast  trotted  us  into 
a  carriage  and  pair.  This  resulted  in  our  being  all 
curled  up  in  the  middle  of  the  street  at  Torquay, 
while  the  gee,  with  what  remained  of  the  dog-cart, 
retired  into  a  butcher's  shop  that  was  at  hand. 

I  journeyed  to  town,  allowed  the  she-male  doctor 
to  treat  me  and  vowed  that  for  ever  more  I  would 
pin  my  faith  to  my  old  friend  the  man,  for  indeed 
I  met  with  very  rough  handling.  Perhaps  the  lady 
felt  I  ought  to  carry  away  something  by  which  to 
remember  my  visit — she  succeeded. 

If  I  had  ever  aspired  to  become  a  fashionable 
w^est-end  doctor,  I  should  have  made  it  my  business 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS  53 

to  specialise  in  some  interesting  and  mentionable 
complaint,  prescribing  treatment  that  lent  itself  to 
dinner  table  discussion;  for  who  wants  to  pay  big 
fees  for  a  treatment  so  unspeakably  unromantic  that 
it  cannot  be  discussed  at  dinner ! 

If  I  am  asked  to  name  some  suitable  malady  for 
discussion,  I  shall  reply  as  some  of  my  friends  do 
in  ''The  House,"  *T  must  have  notice  of  that 
question."  If  after  that  I  find  myself  in  deep  water 
I  shall  catch  the  Speaker's  eye  and  get  him  to  rule 
it  out  of  order. 


CHAPTER  III 

I  make  a  List  of  People's  Kinks — And  Lose  it — Lord  Ex- 
mouth's  Peculiarities — A  Dinner  with  a  Professor — His 
Feelings  are  Hurt — A  Colonel  gets  Kicked — A  Tactful 
Official's  Untactful  Wife — A  Lady  with  a  Religious  Ma- 
nia— She  Speaks  Her  Mind  in  Church — An  Organ- 
Grinder  Viscount — Lord  Poulett's  Dream — Some  Vari- 
eties of  Fabricators. 

I  HAD  intended  writing  a  classified  chapter  on 
the  people  I  have  met  with  kinks,  but  I  find 
the  infirmities  of  the  human  mind  so  numer- 
ous that  I  have  had  to  abandon  the  idea  and  give 
only  a  few  examples. 

I  had  not  been  launched  upon  the  world  very  long 
before  I  came  to  the  conclusion  that  it  was  advisable 
to  make  memoranda  of  the  peculiarities  of  the 
people  I  stayed  with  from  time  to  time;  it  saved 
awkward  moments.  I  also  made  notes  of  the  sub- 
jects most  interesting  to  my  hosts  and  hostesses. 
I  thought  I  was  becoming  very  grown-up  and 
business-like,  unfortunately  I  was  not  sufificiently 
business-like  to  make  my  notes  in  cipher,  and  was 
horrified  to  find  when  staying  with  the  Exmouths 
(fourth  Viscount)  at  Canonteign,  that  I  had  lost 
the  list.  I  had  been  studying  it  in  the  train,  and 
remembered  putting  it  back  with  my  purse  in  my 

54 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS  55 

little  handbag.  I  was  much  worried,  wondering 
whether  I  had  pulled  it  out  with  my  pocket-hand- 
kerchief at  tea-time  in  the  drawing-room,  or  what 
on  earth  had  become  of  it.  I  wished  with  all  my 
heart  that  I  had  not  amused  myself  by  making 
sketches  of  some  of  my  friends,  with  would-be 
facetious  remarks  and  jokes  beneath  them. 

My  first  evening  was  entirely  spoilt  by  my 
anxiety  in  trying  to  remember  if  I  had  said  any- 
thing very  compromising  about  anybody.  Lord 
Exmouth's  little  peculiarities  were  soon  recalled  to 
my  mind  by  his  wife  coming  into  my  bedroom  when 
retiring  for  the  night  and  asking  me  not  to  stir  the 
fire,  saying,  'Tt  so  worries  Exmouth."  Apparently 
his  trained  ear  enabled  him  to  locate  anything  of 
this  kind  taking  place  in  any  part  of  the  house.  His 
spirit  of  econom.y  was  what  caused  the  poking  of 
the  fires  to  annoy  him. 

At  one  time  I  saw  a  good  deal  of  this  little  man. 
My  sister  was  the  attraction.  I  was  acting 
chaperon.  He  seldom  came  alone,  but  accompa- 
nied by  his  brother;  the  latter  fell  to  me  to  entertain. 
The  brothers  were  both  very  short  (I  should  think 
under  five  feet  high,  but  I  am  not  a  great  judge  of 
height),  round-faced,  and  like  Sir  John  Tenniel's 
picture  of  "Tweedle-dum"  and  ''Tweedle-dee"  in 
"Alice  Through  the  Looking-glass,"  who  agreed  to 
have  a  battle  when  Tweedle-dum  said  Tweedle-dee 
had  spoilt  his  nice  new  rattle.  Unfortunately,  my 
suggestion  of  a  likeness  to  Tweedle-dum  and 
Tweedle-dee  got  noised  abroad,  and  for  long  the 


56  FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

young  men  were  spoken  of  by  these  absurd  names. 
This  was,  of  course,  before  Lord  Exmouth  mar- 
ried. At  that  time  he  and  his  brother  the  Hon. 
William  Pellew,  were  living  with  their  mother, 
Mrs.  Pellew-Bradshaw.  She  had  married  a  second 
time.  I  remember  thinking  her  second  choice  a 
very  handsome  man. 

The  necessity  for  being  primed  about  my  friends' 
hobbies,  interests,  and  kinks  had  been  impressed 
upon  me  very  early  in  my  married  life  when  my 
husband  was  trotting  me  out  before  all  his  relations, 
and  I  was  expected  to  show  my  paces.  I  strongly 
objected  to  these  visits,  but  as  they  seemed  to  give 
infinite  pleasure  to  my  lord  and  master  I  did  my 
best  to  show  off  nicely. 

The  visit  in  my  mind  was  only  to  dine  with  the 
learned  Professor  North  and  his  wife,  a  little  family 
party.  I  had  stupidly  forgotten  to  ask  what  this 
relative  was  professor  of  until  it  was  too  late.  All 
through  dinner  I  kept  hedging  to  try  and  find  out 
but  without  success,  I  looked  appealingly  towards 
my  husband  hoping  he  would  grasp  the  situation, 
but  he  was  busy  talking  secrets  about  me;  a  fact 
I  gathered  from  the  way  they  kept  looking  in  my 
direction  and  nodding  their  heads.  The  Professor 
tried  hard  to  come  off  his  lofty  pedestal  and  talk 
down  to  my  common  or  garden  intellect.  I  tried 
once  more,  "Your  work  ruist  be  very  interesting; 
do  tell  me  something  about  it?"  Receiving  in  reply, 
"It  is  very  interesting'  to  me.    And  what  is  your 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS  57 

next  festivity?"  It  was  no  use,  so  I  plunged  into 
everyday  topics. 

However,  I  had  evidently  made  an  impression, 
for  after  dinner  instead  of  retiring  to  his  den  as  his 
wife  said  was  his  habit,  he  invited  me  to  see  where 
he  worked.  At  the  first  glance  there  was  nothing 
in  his  study  that  was  helpful  as  indicating  the  na- 
ture of  his  work.  Through  the  open  French  win- 
dows looking  on  to  a  piece  of  garden  I  observed  a 
queer  edifice.  To  this  he  drew  my  attention,  saying 
with  evident  pride:  'T  made  that  myself."  It  looked 
like  a  glorified  meat-safe,  and  I  congratulated  him 
on  building  such  a  big,  useful  one.  There  was  a 
pause,  I  had  evidently  said  the  wrong  thing.  In  a 
voice  I  recognised  as  the  kind  we  adopt  when  seri- 
ously annoyed  yet  trying  not  to  show  it,  he  said,  "It 
is  not  a  meat-safe,  that  is  my  observatory."  He 
beamed  on  me  no  longer.  I  tried  hard  to  put  it 
right,  said  I  had  not  meant  that  was  a  meat-safe, 
but  something  else  altogether;  he  was  now  most 
uncompromising  and  wanted  to  know  what  other 
thing  I  meant  ?  Wretched  man !  Thank  goodness 
my  husband,  growing  bored  with  his  relatives  in  the 
drawing-room,  came  to  look  for  his  bride  and 
helped  to  change  the  conversation,  but  I  had  the 
humiliating  sensation  of  having  been  gauche,  of 
having  displayed  my  ignorance,  and  effaced  the 
good  impressions  I  had  been  making. 

I  was  learning  to  be  tactful  when  an  old  Colonel 
friend  of  my  husband's  came  to  dine  with  us.  We 
were  a  small  party  of  eight  and  sitting  at  a  round 


58  FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

table.  Conversation  turned  on  a  curious  case  of 
cruelty  to  children  that  had  been  in  the  papers,  not 
of  a  hardworked  poor  woman  in  a  moment  of  tired 
exasperation  beating  a  tiresome  child,  but  a  woman 
in  our  own  class  of  life  who  systematically  ill- 
treated  a  little  daughter,  shutting  her  up  in  a  dark 
cupboard  with  her  arms  tied  up  above  her  head  and 
keeping  her  without  food  until  a  governess  or  ser- 
vant, I  forget  which,  reported  the  case  to  the  So- 
ciety for  Prevention  of  Cruelty  to  Children.  My 
husband  was  saying  what  he  should  like  to  do  to 
the  woman  in  question  when  I  saw  the  subject  was 
distasteful  to  my  old  Colonel  sitting  beside  me,  so 
I  aimed  a  healthy  kick  under  the  table  at  my  good 
man's  legs  and  made  faces  at  him.  All  the  effect 
my  tactfulness  had  was  to  make  my  man  ask  me  if 
I  had  swallowed  a  bone  or  something,  and  a  smoth- 
ered yell  from  the  Colonel  whose  gouty  legs  were 
stretching  in  the  direction  I  expected  to  find  those 
of  my  husband!  My  man  told  me  afterwards  he 
had  tucked  his  under  his  chair,  as  whenever  he 
moved  them  he  found  himself  in  contact  with  the 
Colonel's.  On  making  enquiries  we  found  the  cruel 
mother  was  a  near  relation  of  the  kicked  Colonel. 
Kinky  and  tactless  people  make  me  tremble  at 
times.  I  knew  in  India  a  very  charming  official  at 
that  time  Governor  of  the  North-West  Provinces. 
He  was  the  essence  of  tactfulness  and  kept  all 
around  him  happy  by  his  carefully  chosen  words 
and  considerations.  He  married  a  wife  who  was 
most  anxious  to  help  him  and  add  to  his  popularity, 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS  59 

but  she  sadly  lacked  that  sympathy  which  enables 
people  to  know  what  to  say  and  what  not  to  say. 
They  were  giving  a  big  dinner  to  all  the  local  society 
of  the  place.  The  chief  civilian  of  the  neighborhood 
was  seated  beside  the  hostess,  who,  by  way  of  mak- 
ing polite  conversation  to  her,  remarked,  "What 
excellent  asparagus  you  have.  Lady " 

"I  am  so  glad  you  like  it,"  she  replied,  "but  it 
is  only  tinned.  My  husband  said  that  was  quite 
good  enough  for  the  people  up  here." 

The  unhappy  husband  little  knew  the  amount  of 
trouble  the  wife  of  his  bosom  was  creating  for  him. 

The  peculiarities  of  the  late  Duke  of  Portland  are 
common  property,  but  I  do  not  think  it  is  generally 
known  that  once  at  Welbeck  he  ordered  all  the  maid- 
servants to  appear  for  his  amusement  on  roller 
skates  in  the  riding  school.  He  was  highly  enter- 
tained, for  most  of  them  entered  on  all  fours,  and 
some  even  less  elegantly. 

When  moving  from  one  property  to  another  he 
had  his  carriage  drawn  up  at  a  side  entrance  so  that 
none  might  look  at  him ;  the  servants  had  to  remain 
seated  on  the  box,  eyes  front,  while  their  master 
popped  in  and  drew  the  blinds  down  or  they  had 
been  drawn  previously,  I  forget  which,  and  away 
they  went  gaily  to  the  station,  where  the  carriage 
was  moved  on  to  a  truck  and  thus  the  eccentric 
duke  travelled. 

Once  the  servants  thinking  there  was  no  one  in 
the  carriage  but  not  daring  to  look,  left  the  coach 
shunted  on  to  a  siding  and  went  off  to  a  public- 


6o  FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

house  to  enjoy  themselves.  In  the  early  hours  they 
returned  to  the  carriage  to  find  something  was 
being  said  behind  the  blinds  and  some  awful  threats 
found  their  way  on  to  the  air ! 

Sir  Charles  Dilke  had  a  funny  fad,  he  was  pur- 
sued by  the  idea  that  he  would  one  day  have  to 
fight  a  duel.  Though  quite  the  last  person  ever  to 
dream  of  doing  such  a  thing,  nevertheless  he  spent 
a  good  deal  of  his  spare  time  preparing  for  the 
event.  He  practised  in  the  garden  behind  his  house 
in  Sloane  Street,  either  with  the  foils  or  I'epee. 

He  had  a  great  regard  for  his  inner  man,  and  was 
fond  of  inventing  new  dishes  and  eating  them, 
which  at  times  upset  his  tummy  and  temper.  When 
in  India  his  attempts  to  interest  Lord  Roberts  in 
recondite  dishes  was  pathetic,  as  well  as  highly  un- 
productive. 

I  was  talking  to  him  once  after  his  social  uphea- 
val, and  was  venturing  to  suggest  where  I  thought 
he  had  made  a  mistake  when  he  amused  me  by 
saying,  'Tf  the  ivy  will  cling  to  the  oak,  what  is  the 
oak  to  do."  I  suggested  the  oak  should  at  least  be 
chivalrous  if  it  went  gallivanting.  Latterly  most  of 
the  society  he  entertained  was  foreign. 

Then  there  was  Lord  Roberts'  kink  about  cats. 
I  ought  in  my  last  volume  to  have  mentioned  their 
predilection  for  him,  which  quite  threw  down  my 
theory  that  children  and  animals  always  know  by 
instinct  who  cares  for  them. 

It  was  quite  a  usual  custom  for  hostesses,  when 
General   "Bobs"   was  dining  with  them,   to  give 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS  6i 

orders  for  all  the  cats  on  the  premises  to  be  shut  up 
in  rooms,  or  baskets,  until  the  visit  was  over,  and 
it  really  was  extraordinary  the  way  they  managed 
to  get  out,  and  always  rushed  for  him.  The  story 
I  told  in  my  last  volume  of  the  time  when  he  was 
walking  up  and  down  the  deck  and  felt  so  uneasy 
though  unable  to  see  a  cat  anywhere,  puss  was 
walking  step  for  step  above  his  head.  It  was  quite 
uncanny ! 

The  late  Sir  William  Eraser,  a  talented  and  re- 
markable man,  was  yet  very  eccentric,  and  used  to 
try  the  forbearance  of  his  fellow-members  in  the 
Carlton  Club  considerably.  He  was  a  man  of 
wealth,  but  used  to  drive  up  daily  from  his  suburban 
home  in  Clapham  to  the  club  in  a  shabby  old  vic- 
toria, with  the  waterproof  apron,  hood,  and  cur- 
tains beloved  by  our  great-grand-parents.  In  those 
days  they  had  a  passion  for  curtains  on  their  beds, 
I  presume  for  delicacy,  and  quite  possibly  for  the 
same  reason  on  the  victorias. 

One  of  the  habits  his  fellow-members  of  the  Carl- 
ton found  trying  was  the  way  he  would  bring  a 
cage  of  dormice  out  of  his  pocket  when  at  meals 
in  the  dining-room.  He  was  perfectly  aware  of  his 
unpopularity,  describing  himself  as  a  yellow  spar- 
row amongst  black  ones  who  were  anxious  to  peck 
him. 

He  was  not  fond  of  ablutions,  thought  them 
waste  of  time.  Once  when  staying  with  some 
friends  one  of  the  house  party  who  was  of  a  mis- 
chievous turn  of  mind,  went  into  Sir  William's  room 


62  FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

and  took  a  five-pound  note  off  his  dressing-table  and 
put  it  in  his  bath,  where  it  remained  until  he  was 
leaving,  when  it  was  pointed  out  to  him  proving 
the  bath  had  not  been  used  during  his  visit. 

I  have  heard  this  same  story  told  of  other  people, 
only  in  connection  with  their  sponge.  All  these 
stories  are  things  of  the  past,  for  people  do  not  sit 
in  tea-cups  of  water  in  the  bedrooms  to-day.  Every 
household  has  a  bathroom,  and  some  boast  a  good 
many.  One  house  I  was  staying  in  a  short  time  ago 
had  a  most  luxurious  one  attached  to  each  bedroom. 

Sir  William  Eraser  repaired  to  the  Highlands  at 
one  time  in  search  of  a  reposeful  spot  for  his  re- 
mains when  some  such  place  might  be  necessary. 
He  stayed  for  one  night  at  Inverness  with  a  friend. 
During  dinner  his  host  begged  him  to  dig  deep  into 
the  pie  and  other  edibles  after  his  long  journey 
north.  Sir  William,  who  was  rather  deaf,  still 
thinking  of  his  last  resting-place,  replied,  "Oh,  cer- 
tainly !  I  have  no  wish  to  remain  too  near  the  sur- 
face I  assure  you." 

Once  in  my  early  married  days  I  was  staying  in 
Yorkshire  with  an  eccentric  relative,  who  had  all 
the  household  baths  spread  out  on  the  lawn  and 
painted  them  himself  to  avoid  the  expense  of  a 
trades-person  doing  it.  It  so  happened  the  house 
was  full  for  a  dance,  amongst  the  guests  was  a  very 
amply  proportioned  old  General,  who  was  paying 
his  addresses  to  one  of  the  daughters  of  the  house. 

After  receiving  their  first  coat  of  paint  the  baths 
were  removed  into  the  house,  and  there  being  a 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS  63 

shortage  of  the  useful  commodity,  one  of  the  new 
painted  ones  was  pressed  into  the  housemaids' 
service  and  was  placed  in  the  General's  room. 
Nothing  suspecting  he  boldly  stepped  into  it  in  the 
morning  and  then  sat  down  in  it  and  stuck.  After 
breakfast  my  relative  said  he  was  going  to  give 
another  coat  of  paint  to  the  baths,  and  invited  us  all 
to  go  and  view  his  handiwork.  We  followed  him 
down  the  rows  of  baths  on  the  lawn  trying  to  find 
a  suitable  change  of  appreciative  remarks  for  each 
bath  as  we  came  to  it;  presently  we  came  to  the 
big  saucer  bearing  the  imprint  of  feet  and  anatomy 
most  faithfully  depicted.  It  would  have  rejoiced 
the  heart  of  any  detective  accustomed  to  tracing 
people  by  the  Bertillon  system. 

At  first  we  all  stood  speechless,  gazing  at  the 
spectacle;  my  relative  getting  redder  in  the  face 
and  his  eyes  angrier  and  angrier.  He  then  turned 
and  eyed  us  all  reflectively,  as  if  trying  from  our 
forms  to  trace  the  culprit  who  had  dared  to  use  one 
of  his  newly  painted  baths  without  his  permission. 
The  beauty  of  the  whole  thing  was  every  one  of  us 
looked  absolutely  guilty  and  red  in  the  face.  I 
determined  when  I  become  a  judge  I  will  never  be 
led  away  by  circumstantial  evidence,  it  may  be 
most  misleading. 

The  General,  who  had  given  a  sovereign  to  the 
head  housemaid  not  to  give  him  away,  suggested 
he  would  like  to  go  and  see  the  stables — so  thought 
all  of  us ! 

People  with  religious  kinks  are,  however,  far  and 


64  FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

away  the  most  terrifying.  It  is  impossible  to  say 
where  their  emotions  may  lead  them.  There  is  a 
certain  lady,  living  not  a  hundred  miles  from  where 
I  am  now  writing,  who  has  a  tiresome  habit  of 
coming  up  to  you  at  garden  parties  and  suchlike 
gatherings  asking,  "Are  you  saved?"  This  is 
disconcerting  because  one  does  not  like  to  venture 
an  opinion  on  anything  so  uncertain.  While  seeking 
for  a  diplomatic  answer  she  continues  somewhat  in 
this  strain,  "Remember  if  you  are  not  saved  you  are 
damned,  there  is  no  middle  course."  This  sort  of 
thing  when  your  friends  are  gathering  round  in  a 
ring  to  watch  your  discomfiture  is  trying,  each 
answer  to  her  leading  questions  is  awaited  in  si- 
lence, hoping  for  something  really  effective.  Re- 
ligious kinky-folk  ought  not  to  be  allowed  to  roam 
about  alone  at  garden  parties. 

This  same  religious  lady  has  a  living  in  her  gift. 
The  unfortunate  incumbent  has  a  very  poor  time. 
Not  long  ago  the  long-suffering  man  thought  he  had 
endured  enough  and  gave  up  the  Ghost,  but  not 
before  he  had  invited  the  parson  of  our  parish  to 
preach  for  him  one  Sunday.  During  the  sermon 
opinions  were  expressed  not  in  accordance  with  this 
lady's  views;  she  therefore  stood  up  and  shouted, 
"That's  a  lie!"  Our  rosy-faced  little  parson  con- 
tinued, taking  no  sort  of  notice,  so  she  repeated  her 
polite  statement  and  was  requested  by  the  preacher 
to  sit  down  and  be  quiet  and  after  the  service  if  she 
would  like  to  come  to  the  vestry  he  would  discuss 
the  point.     She  agreed  to  this  and  continued  mut- 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS  65 

tering  to  herself  and  shaking  her  head,  occasion- 
ally making  a  few  notes  in  a  pocket-book.  What 
made  the  circumstances  piquante  was  the  fact,  well 
known  to  many  present,  that  ihe  familiar  nickname 
of  the  parson  was  ''Lying  Joe." 

On  another  occasion  when  a  strange  clergyman 
was  preaching  he  foolishly  and  unthinkingly  said 
in  the  course  of  his  sermon,  "Who  amongst  you 
are  saved?" 

This  weird  lady  patroness  at  once  jumped  up 
and  said,  "I  am";  her  cook  in  the  pew  behind  fol- 
lowed suit,  "And  I  am,"  knowing  how  much  de- 
pended on  doing  so. 

After  the  clergyman  holding  this  living  and 
chaplaincy  died,  a  new  incumbent  had  to  be  in- 
stalled. A  terrible  time  ensued.  Various  parsons 
were  tried  and  found  wanting.  One  unfortunate 
man  came  from  some  distance  by  train,  having  in 
his  letters  confessed  himself  willing  to  preach  his 
patroness's  doctrines  and  she  had  agreed  to  send 
her  carriage  to  meet  him,  the  station  being  several 
miles  from  the  house.  Owing  to  some  mischance 
the  reverend  gentleman  missed  his  train,  arriving 
at  his  destination  to  find  no  carriage  to  meet  him. 
He  was  told  it  had  been  and  gone  again  earlier  in 
the  evening. 

With  some  difficulty  he  hired  a  vehicle,  and  drove 
some  eight  miles  in  the  dark  to  the  address  on  the 
letters  in  his  pocket.  When  at  last  he  reached  the 
place  it  was  all  shut  up  and  in  darkness.  After 
ringing  and  hammering  at  the  front  door  and  re- 


66  FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

ceiving  no  answer,  he  and  the  driver  of  the  cab 
wandered  round  the  house  looking  for  some  window 
or  door  that  might  be  hospitably  inclined.  At  last 
a  side  door  was  found  open,  and  a  sleepy  maid  sit- 
ting up  in  a  sort  of  back  kitchen.  She  gave  the 
parson  a  written  notice  that  had  been  left  for  him 
when  his  hostess  retired  to  bed.  On  this  card  was 
written,  'Tf  you  choose  to  come  in  the  middle  of 
the  night  you  can't  expect  people  to  sit  up  for  you. 
Go  to  bed  and  I  will  see  you  in  the  morning.  Up 
the  stairs,  first  turn  to  the  right,  fourth  room  on 
the  left." 

The  maid  presented  him  with  a  smelly  little  oil 
lamp,  and  advised  him  strongly  not  to  come  to  the 
"miserable  place";  the  lady  was  enough  to  drive 
anybody  mad.  The  clergyman  went  to  bed  think- 
ing it  all  very  strange,  but  as  he  knew  his  prede- 
cessor had  held  the  living  for  years  he  thought  per- 
haps he  might  be  able  to  do  the  same,  at  any  rate 
he  must  try. 

The  following  morning  at  breakfast  he  made  the 
acquaintance  of  the  awesome  lady,  who  was  neither 
young  nor  good-looking,  and  considered  any  dainti- 
ness in  dress  or  personal  adornment  very  wicked. 
She  asked  her  guest  to  say  grace;  this  he  did, 
briefly,  only  to  be  told,  "That  is  no  use  at  all,"  and 
she  stood  up  and  in  a  sing-song  voice  half  spoke, 
half  chanted  a  lengthy  supplication  for  a  variety 
of  things,  including  a  good  appetite ! 

It  was  Sunday,  and  the  parson  was  to  take  the 
service,  so  that  it  might  be  seen  if  he  was  suitable. 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS  67 

In  the  middle  of  breakfast,  after  fixing  a  cold  grey 
eye  on  the  uncomfortable  and  much-to-be-pitied 
man,  the  patroness  snapped  out,  "I  can't  stand  that 
silly  collar  you  are  wearing,  why  can't  you  wear  a 
proper  one  that  opens  in  front  and  has  no  deception 
about  it.  That  ritualistic  thing  is  no  use  at  all,  it 
has  no  beginning  or  end." 

"But,  madam,"  replied  the  parson,  ''it  is  the  usual 
clerical  collar." 

"It  is  nothing  of  the  kind,  man.  I  am  not  a 
fool,"  retorted  the  lady. 

When  the  morning's  service  was  over  the  parson 
said  he  was  truly  thankful.  He  was  not  usually  a 
nervous  man,  but  he  confessed  that  morning  had 
tried  his  nerves  severely.  He  was  allowed  to  eat  his 
luncheon  in  peace,  but  there  was  a  gloomy  silence 
on  the  part  of  his  hostess,  and  at  the  end  of  the 
repast  she  said,  "You  won't  do  at  all,  you  can  go 
back  again  at  once;  what  do  I  owe  you?" 

The  parson  explained  what  the  usual  fee  was  and 
the  cost  of  his  journey,  counting  the  cab  of  the  night 
before,  asking  a  modest  four  guineas.  He  was 
presented  with  a  cheque  for  £3  los.  and  told  it  was 
quite  enough,  if  he  chose  to  arrive  in  the  middle  of 
the  night  he  must  pay  for  the  cab  himself. 

Eventually  there  was  so  much  scandal  about  the 
way  the  numerous  clergy  were  treated  who  aspired 
to  the  living  in  this  curious  person's  gift,  that  the 
bishop  got  wind  of  it  and  put  his  foot  down  and 
there  was  an  end  of  the  matter.  A  parson  came  and 
stayed,  whether  he  was  approved  of  or  not. 


68  FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

Some  of  the  victim  parsons  took  the  lady's  treat- 
ment of  them  much  to  heart.  ''Lying  Joe"  troubled 
not  at  all  when  she  told  him  he  lied.  His  habitual 
tally-diddles  and  inexactitudes  were  not  in  connec- 
tion with  Biblical  history  or  dogma,  but  purely 
social  and  in  amplification  of  his  own  prowess  and 
importance.  Yet  everyone  liked  him,  he  was  a 
genial  amusing  companion,  hospitable  host  and 
kind  friend.  When  he  died  he  was  much  missed. 
He  had  held  his  living  for  many  years,  and  in  his 
younger  days  could  tell  a  good  story  and  drink  a 
bottle  of  good  port.  In  his  stable  there  always 
stood  a  smart  cob  or  two  that  could  be  relied  on  to 
bring  him  home  safely  at  night  after  cheery  din- 
ners with  old  Lord  Poulett  the  6th  Earl  and  Lord 
Bridport  of  the  same  date. 

The  stories  the  dear  old  parson  told  of  those  days 
were  highly  entertaining,  also  the  accounts  of  some 
of  the  6th  Lord  Poulett's  wives,  whom  he  knew  well, 
being  a  constant  visitor  at  the  house. 

Many  people  will  remember  what  a  rumpus  there 
was  about  the  succession  to  the  Hinton  St.  George 
property  and  the  Poulett  title,  and  how  the  son  of 
one  of  the  earl's  earlier  wives  (he  had  three)  de- 
clared he  was  the  rightful  heir,  but  for  reasons  it 
is  not  necessary  to  state  here,  though  they  can  be 
easily  imagined,  when  the  case  came  up  for  trial  it 
was  given  against  him.  I  remember  seeing  the 
claimant  going  about  London  with  his  barrel-piano, 
he  never  asked  for  money,  at  least  I  never  saw  him 
do  so,  but  there  was  a  little  box  on  one  side  of  the 


The  Sixth  Earl  Poulett 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS  69 

piano  into  which  I  have  seen  a  good  deal  find  its 
way,  and  I  have  added  my  mite  to  help  to  swell  the 
grand  total.  Silver  was  often  thrown  to  them  and 
dexterously  caught. 

The  musician  was  accompanied  by  a  woman, 
whether  she  was  his  wife  or  not  I  do  not  know. 

A  large  notice  adorned  one  side  of  the  piano 
giving  the  world  to  understand  that  the  grinder 
was  Viscount  Hinton,  heir  to  the  Poulett  estates. 

They  used  to  prowl  about  the  streets,  not  so 
much  with  a  view,  I  always  thought,  of  obtaining 
money  as  to  airing  their  grievance.  People  used 
to  be  sorry  for  them,  and  I  remember  seeing  a 
cabman  ask  them  into  a  public-house  at  the  bottom 
of  Park  Lane  to  give  them  drinks.  Nobody  inter- 
fered with  the  poor  dears,  even  the  policemen  left 
them  in  peace.  Anybody  wishing  to  find  these  un- 
fortunate people  and  their  piano  could  generally 
run  them  to  ground  in  the  neighbourhood  of  Tatter- 
sails  or  the  sporting  clubs. 

It  must  have  been  weary  work  wandering  about, 
rain  or  shine,  and  I  wondered  they  kept  it  up  as 
long  as  they  did.     I  always  felt  sorry  for  them. 

It  will  perhaps  be  remembered  that  the  present 
Lord  Poulett's  father  married  three  times,  his  first 
wife  being  the  mother  of  the  organ-grinder  whom 
the  Court  decided  was  not  Lord  Poulett's  son.  The 
secret  of  his  marriage  had  been  kept  very  quiet,  it 
was  the  result  of  a  foolish  bet  made  with  a  brother 
officer  on  board  ship  when  the  2nd  Foot  were  com- 
ing home  from  abroad.     He  said  he  would  marry 


70  FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

the  first  woman  he  met  or  saw  on  landing,  and  he 
stuck  to  his  word.  The  woman's  name  was  Miss 
Elizabeth  Lavinia  Newman,  and  I  have  been  told 
she  was  a  circus  rider,  but  about  this  I  am  not  sure. 
I  have  always  heard  that  the  late  Lord  Poulett 
provided  handsomely  in  his  lifetime  for  the  un- 
happy man  who  called  himself,  and  no  doubt  be- 
lieved he  was,  Viscount  Hinton. 

I  have  been  told  Lord  Poulett,  the  7th  Earl, 
behaved  generously  to  the  piano-grinder,  although 
the  unfortunate  aspirant's  claim  had  been  com- 
pletely shattered  in  the  law  courts. 

The  present  peer  inherited  from  his  parents  a 
love  for  the  stage,  and  married  a  pretty  Miss  Storey 
from  the  Gaiety  Chorus,  after  the  fashion  of  the 
young  bloods  of  to-day.  Lady  Poulett's  father  was 
the  Fred  Storey  attached  for  so  long  to  the  Gaiety 
Theatre.  His  forte  was  eccentric  dancing,  he  ap- 
peared also,  I  think,  at  Drury  Lane  with  the  Yokes 
family,  under  Augustus  Harris's  management,  in  a 
show  called  ''Belles  of  the  Kitchen."  First  he 
danced  on  the  kitchen  table  and  then  stood  between 
the  sisters  Rosina  and  Victoria  throwing  his  leg 
alternately  over  the  heads  of  each. 

The  sixth  earl  died  in  1899.  He  was  a  popular 
patron  of  steeplechasing,  and  scored  two  great 
victories  with  a  little  15.2  horse  called  "The  Lamb," 
the  Liverpool  Grand  National  in  1868  and  again  in 
1871.  On  both  occasions  *The  Lamb"  was  ridden 
by  gentlemen  riders,  the  first  time  by  Mr.  George 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS  71 

Ede,  under  the  name  of  Edwards,  the  second  by 
Mr.  Pickernell,  under  the  name  of  Thomas. 

There  is  a  curious  story  attached  to  the  second 
race.  Lord  Poulett  had  a  dream  in  which  he  saw 
his  horse  defeated,  he  awoke  feeling  very  worried 
and  disappointed,  went  to  sleep  again  and  dreamt 
he  saw  his  horse  win  with  Mr.  Pickernell  in  the 
saddle.  Upon  the  strength  of  this  he  wrote  to  Mr. 
Pickernell  telling  him  about  his  dream  and  asking 
him  to  ride  the  horse.  Mr.  Pickernell  agreed  and 
the  dream  was  fulfilled  to  the  letter. 

These  two  races  brought  a  good  round  sum  into 
Lord  Poulett's  pockets,  but  I  fear  there  must  have 
been  a  hole  in  them,  for  the  money  soon  disap- 
peared. 

The  poor  little  "Lamb"  died  in  1872,  after  he 
had  passed  the  winning-post,  in  a  big  steeplechase 
at  Baden-Baden.  I  should  have  liked  to  see  this 
game  little  horse  in  the  flesh.  He  was  an  iron  grey 
with  little  flecks  of  white,  the  only  picture  of  him 
that  I  know  of  is  a  family  heirloom  now  at  Hinton 
St.  George.  I  believe  Prince  Esterhazy  was  riding 
him  on  the  fatal  day  against  a  horse  named  "Mon- 
arch," ridden  by  Prince  Kinsky. 

Lord  Poulett  was  the  original  owner  of  "Cortol- 
vin,"  but  sold  him  to  the  Duke  of  Hamilton. 

Looking  back  over  my  life  I  have  met  some  first- 
class  romancers,  some  embroidered  beautifully, 
others  awkwardly,  others  maliciously.  It  has  been 
an  interesting  study  to  me  trying  to  trace  the  rea- 
sons and  incentives  for  the  inexactitudes.     I  have 


y2  FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

come  to  the  conclusion  that  some  people  are  un- 
truthful because  they  cannot  help  it,  they  have  no 
real  sense  of  right  and  wrong.  Others  lie  with  a 
view  to  self -aggrandisement,  and  there  is  another 
class  that  lies  from  Christian  charity,  the  white  lies 
of  charity  and  bowing  to  convention.  If  you  know 
people  fairly  well  you  can  generally  see  through 
them  all.  There  is,  however,  one  man  I  know,  a 
general  in  the  army,  who  romances  for  no  reason 
at  all  as  far  as  I  can  gather,  but  his  habit  has  be- 
come so  well  known  that  in  the  army  they  say,  *'0h, 
v.hat  a — Jones  shall  I  say?"  Of  course  that  is  not 
the  general's  name,  but  I  cannot  now  give  the  name 
as  the  man  is  living  and  would  scalp  me.  Quite 
solemnly  once  he  told  me  he  was  the  inventor  of 
cart  wheels,  hoping  I  suppose  that  I  was  simple 
enough  to  believe  him.  At  another  time  he  told 
me  he  remembered  well  when  a  baby  in  arms  and 
his  nurse  pinched  him  thinking  to  himself  "When 
I  can  talk  I  will  tell  my  mother  of  this  woman." 

This  officer's  son  inherited  his  father's  failing. 
He  was  quite  a  nice  boy  and  used  to  rattle  on  telling 
most  astounding  stories,  and  then  wind  up  by  say- 
ing in  the  most  engaging  manner,  "But  you  must 
not  believe  a  word  I  say,  I  am  an  awful  liar." 

There  was  a  certain  stipendiary  magistrate  in 
Yorkshire  who  was  superb  in  this  line.  One  day 
w^hen  some  friends  were  talking  rather  big  about 
shooting  experiences,  the  stipendiary  broke  in  and 
we  all  knew  something  was  coming  that  would  take 
the  gloss  off  any  previous  story  of  that  evening.  He 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS  73 

was  a  huge  man  with  a  large  corporation,  florid, 
rather  fat  face  and  strident  of  voice.  He  pro- 
ceeded :  "My  dear  fellahs !  that's  nothing  to  what 
I  did  once  when  I  was  shooting  with  the  King  at 
Buckingham  Palace."  Before  we  had  recovered 
from  our  surprise  at  hearing  of  Buckingham  Palace 
being  a  sporting  estate,  he  astonished  us  still  more 
by  saying,  ''A  covey  of  partridges  got  up.  I  got 
a  right  and  left  and  the  recoil  of  the  gun  caused 
me  to  fall  backwards  on  to  a  hare  and  kill  it." 

If  we  felt  the  man  was  romancing  to  be  funny 
and  for  our  amusement  we  should  not  have  minded, 
but  he  was  in  the  first  place  strangely  ignorant,  and 
in  the  second  place  annoying  because  he  expected 
us  to  believe  him.  Nobody  took  any  notice,  which 
was  perhaps  a  pity;  someone  ought  to  have  tackled 
him  and  argued  the  matter  out;  only  not  in  my 
house  for  choice ! 

The  lies  that  are  lied  so  that  good  may  come  are 
dften  rather  pleasant;  for  instance,  we  may  know 
some  young  man  is  going  to  make  a  fool  of  himself 
and  we  say  "I  am  sure  you  will  not  do  so  and  so, 
it  would  be  very  unlike  you.  I  have  much  too  high 
an  opinion  of  you  to  believe  you  would  do  any- 
thing of  the  kind."  In  our  hearts  we  have  no  such 
high  opinion,  and  we  are  persuaded  he  had  every 
intention  of  doing  the  foolish  deed,  but  our  white 
lie  may  act  as  a  deterrent;  he  will  wish  to  live  up 
to  our  high  opinion  of  him,  therefore,  surely  this 
lie  is  doing  evil  that  good  may  come,  and  is  par- 
donable. 


74  FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

Then  the  Httle  everyday  tally-diddles,  when  our 
friends  tell  us  how  they  have  been  looking  forward 
to  seeing  us  and  how  charming  we  look,  we  know 
it  is  only  froth,  oil  that  lubricates  the  wheels  of 
life,  and  surrender  ourselves  to  the  deception  that 
is  being  practised  upon  us  just  as  we  do  when  we 
go  to  a  play. 

I  wonder  sometimes  is  there  such  a  thing  as 
truth,  or  is  it  all  a  mirage  ? 


CHAPTER  IV 

The  Tempers  of  Sporting  People — "Heel-tap"  Days  in  the 
Northumberland  Yeomanry — Mr.  Carnaby  Forster  as 
Master  of  the  Ledbury — His  Hunt  Servants'  Awe  of 
him — Lady  Mary  Hamilton's  Popularity — The  Duke  of 
Hamilton's  Cure  for  Gout — The  Duke  at  Oxford,  his 
Generous  Nature — Starts  a  Money-lending  Business — 
Why  he  Relinquished  it — The  Grand  National  of  1867 — 
A  Bet  the  Night  Before — How  he  Paid  it — A  Mistake 
over  a  Horse's  Weight  at  Newmarket — His  Grace's 
Sporting  Garments — One  of  his  Favourite  Jockeys — The 
Duke  gives  Custance  a  Present  of  a  Horse — It  objects 
to  Physic  and  Custance  has  to  Hide — The  Duke's  Har- 
riers at  Easton — A  Favourite  Horse  named  "Safe 
Coach" — He  Carries  a  Foreign  Guest  who  does  not  En- 
joy his  Ride — The  Duke's  Generosity  to  a  Sporting  Par- 
son— A  West  Country  Master's  Eccentricities — The 
Health  of  a  Welsh  M.F.H.— A  Little  Tragedy  in  the 
Hunting  Field. 

I  KNOW  a  good  deal  about  tempers,  though  I 
have  been  blessed  by  a  sweet-tempered  husband 
and  a  sweet-tempered  son.  It  has  always 
seemed  to  me  that  sporting  people  control  their  feel- 
ings the  least  satisfactorily,  which  is  a  pity.  In- 
deed, some  I  have  known  seem  to  consider  they  are 
being  clever  and  amusing  when  blustering  and 
using  swear  words.  Tradition  has  something  to 
do  with  this.    It  influences  people  in  small  as  well 

75 


76  FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

as  great  matters.  Tradition  is  what  makes  armies 
particularly  deadly  in  attack,  just  as  successfully 
as  it  makes  masters  of  hounds  swear  when  natur- 
ally, and  in  their  hearts,  they  are  often  the  tamest 
creatures  imaginable,  poor  dears ! 

There  are,  of  course,  some  naturally  bad-tem- 
pered men  who  have  so  grievously  mistaken  their 
calling  as  to  attempt  to  hunt  hounds,  but  personally 
I  think  that  nine  times  out  of  ten  the  silly  bluster 
affected  by  some  men  in  the  hunting  field  is  chiefly 
due  to  the  prominence  accorded  to  that  sort  of 
thing  in  sporting  literature. 

Happily  both  this  style  and  hard  swearing  are 
dying  natural  deaths,  like  the  port  wine  drinking  of 
the  early  Victorian  era. 

I  remember  my  father  telling  me  that  in  his 
young  days  it  was  the  fashion  to  get  drunk  when- 
ever an  opportunity  presented  itself.  He  found  this 
a  great  nuisance,  being  one  of  the  most  abstemious 
of  men. 

In  the  Northumberland  Yeomanry  they  kept  up 
the  practice  of  drinking  without  leaving  any  heel- 
taps, which  I  understand  consisted  of  drinking  off 
glass  after  glass  of  port  quickly,  and  then  turning 
the  glass  upside  down  on  the  table  to  show  it  was 
empty. 

One  guest  night,  soon  after  the  funeral  of  the 
Duke  of  Wellington,  at  which  my  father  had  been 
present  with  his  regiment,  when  all  were  drowning 
dull  care  in  repeated  libations  of  port,  my  father, 
not  wishing  to  drink  more  than  was  good  for  him, 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS  yy 

lifted  each  successive  glass  to  his  face  and  then 
shot  its  contents  quickly  under  the  table,  naturally 
remaining  cool-headed  while  his  neighbours  were 
becoming  somewhat  elevated  or  muddled,  as  the 
case  might  be.  After  this  had  been  proceeding  for 
some  time  it  suddenly  dawned  on  his  guest  to  the 
right,  who  was,  I  believe,  one  of  the  North  Country 
Cooksons,  that  his  legs  were  feeling  very  wet  and  he 
moved  his  chair  to  enquire  into  the  matter.  My 
father,  realising  that  he  had  accidentally  been  pour- 
ing the  port  over  his  neighbour's  legs,  thought  it 
time  to  decamp  with  all  speed.  There  was  a  tre- 
mendous hullabaloo  and  some  unwisely  gave  chase, 
but  they  did  not  get  very  far. 

I  have  strayed  away  from  tempers  somewhat.  I 
was  going  to  mention  Mr.  Carnaby  Forster,  at  one 
time  Master  of  the  Ledbury.  He  used  to  be  quite 
comic  in  his  display  of  temper.  I  was  forcibly  re- 
minded of  him  the  other  day  while  reading  General 
Baden-Powell's  book,  Indian  Memories,  in  which  he 
described  the  way  Sir  Baker  Russell,  commanding 
the  13th  Hussars,  used  to  charge  subalterns  who 
annoyed  him,  and  either  ride  them  down  if  he 
managed  to  hit  them,  or  crash  into  the  ranks  if  he 
missed  his  intended  prey. 

I  remember  well  the  fierce,  heavy-moustached 
colonel  in  Lucknow  many  years  ago  when  I  was 
staying  with  Captain  and  Mrs.  Cuthell,  my  host 
being  in  the  13th  Hussars.  He  maintained  that 
the   Colonel's  bark  was  worse   than  his   bite.      I 


78  FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

noticed,  however,  that  throughout  the  station  there 
was  a  distinct  disinchnation  to  bark  with  him. 

Mr.  Carnaby  Forster  ruled  the  Ledbury  with  a 
rod  of  iron.  When  he  began  to  be  really  angry,  an 
event  for  which  his  field  did  not  have  long  to  wait, 
he  used  to  fill  the  coverts  with  his  admonitions  and 
commands.  He  was  a  small  dark  man  with  promi- 
nent eyes,  and  I  remember  seeing  him  gallop  furi- 
ously after  someone  or  other  who  had  offended  him, 
sitting  hunched  up  in  his  saddle  with  rage,  literally 
gnashing  his  teeth. 

It  was  impossible  at  times  to  prevent  laughing 
at  his  exhibitions,  at  others  it  made  one  feel  sad, 
hurt  one's  cherished  ideals  of  the  dignity  of  hu- 
manity. He  never  wearied  of  abusing  his  hunt 
servants,  and  they  were  reduced  to  a  state  of  hope- 
lessness from  fear.  One  day  when  my  son  viewed 
a  beaten  fox,  for  which  the  master  was  diligently 
casting,  and  told  one  of  the  whips  he  had  viewed 
it,  the  man  said  he  really  dare  not  tell  Mr.  Forster, 
and  suggested  the  only  thing  to  do  was  to  go  and 
tell  Lady  Mary  Hamilton  (Mr.  Forster's  step- 
daughter), she  being  the  only  person  who  knew  how 
to  tackle  him. 

With  all  his  curious  ways  and  tempers  he  was 
not  a  bad  huntsman,  and  so  keen  that  he  used  to 
hunt  otters  during  the  summer  months. 

Lady  Mary  Hamilton  was  very  popular,  a  big 
healthy-looking  girl  with  fair  hair.  Her  mother, 
the  Duchess  of  Hamilton,  it  will  be  remembered, 


The  Twelfth  Duke  of  Hamilton 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS  79 

married  Mr.  Carnaby  Forster  about  two  years  after 
the  Duke's  death. 

I  remember  being  at  Easton  Park,  near  Wickham 
Market,  soon  after  Lady  Mary  was  born.  It  was  a 
great  disappointment  to  the  Red  Duke,  as  he  was 
called,  that  the  baby  should  be  a  girl.  No  man  ever 
wished  more  ardently  for  a  son  and  heir  than  did 
that  good  sportsman.  He  had  been  married  since 
1873,  but  not  until  November,  1884,  did  any  off- 
spring put  in  an  appearance.  At  this  time  the  Duke 
was  rather  a  gouty  subject  and  he  amused  me  by 
saying  his  remedy  was  a  ''mixture  of  stout  and 
champagne,"  which  did  not  coincide  with  my  ideas 
of  what  was  suitable  for  the  complaint. 

The  Duke  (the  12th)  was,  I  think,  one  of  the 
most  generous  men  I  ever  met.  At  Oxford  his 
generosity  was  a  byword,  and  in  those  youthful 
days  he  was  a  very  unrestrained  and  wild  young 
person:  once  he  was  nearly  rusticated  for  playing 
practical  jokes  on  a  proctor.  His  rooms  in  Canter- 
bury Quad  were  the  general  rendezvous  of  cock- 
fighters,  fox-terriers  and  rat-hunters.  He  was  a 
general  favourite  all  the  same,  owing  to  his  ex- 
treme generosity,  straightforwardness  and  charm 
of  manner. 

It  was  a  different  Oxford  in  the  Hamilton,  Lans- 
downe  and  Rosebery  days  from  that  we  knew  be- 
fore the  war.  There  were  plenty  up  there  then, 
however,  as  now,  with  money  and  without.  To 
the  latter  the  Duke  was  a  prince  of  kindness.  On 
hearing  that  some  of  his  friends  were  borrowing 


8o  FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

money  and  being  charged  exorbitant  interest  by 
the  money-lenders,  he  started  a  private  business  of 
his  own  in  opposition  to  see  how  many  bucket-shops 
he  could  close,  but  after  a  while,  finding  the  under- 
graduates he  had  befriended  never  attempted  to 
pay  even  the  lowest  rate  of  interest,  much  less  the 
capital,  by  degrees  he  tired  of  the  game  and  left 
the  field  to  those  who  knew  how  to  follow  up  and 
press  their  victims. 

Birth  heaped  distinctions  upon  him,  he  owned 
many  princely  mansions  in  England  and  France; 
and  was  related  to  the  Emperor  Napoleon,  who 
wished  him  to  associate  himself  with  French  poli- 
tics and  ceremonies,  but  the  Duke  would  not  hear 
of  it,  although  a  staunch  Bonapartist.  He  did  not 
mind  social  court  functions,  but  declined  to  have 
anything  to  do  with  politics. 

In  spite  of  his  great  inheritance,  before  reaching 
the  age  of  thirty  he  was  on  the  verge  of  ruin :  a  good 
many  people  did  not  know  how  he  managed  to  save 
the  situation.  There  used  to  be  a  diversity  of  opin- 
ion in  my  young  days  about  Mr.  Padwich,  the 
agent.  Some  pointed  him  out  as  a  praiseworthy 
good  man,  doing  his  best  to  husband  the  resources 
of  a  spendthrift,  others  as  very  much  on  the  make. 

Perhaps  the  chief  social  function  of  the  Duke's 
life  vras  the  ball  he  gave  at  Hamilton  Palace  in 
Lanarkshire  to  the  Crown  Prince  of  Austria,  our 
then  Prince  of  Wales,  and  the  Prince  Imperial  of 
France. 

My  old  friend  Sir  Ian  Hamilton  got  into  trouble 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS  8i 

at  that  ball.  The  room  was  very  crowded,  ten  deep 
round  the  walls  of  the  circular  ballroom  at  least. 
He  was  waltzing  away  merrily  and  seeing  a  sort  of 
opening  in  the  serried  ranks  of  spectators  pulled 
up  for  a  rest.  Instantly  about  a  dozen  grandees 
fell  upon  him,  hunting  him  and  his  terrified  partner 
away,  as  they  had  exactly  planted  themselves  in 
the  front  of  a  funnel-shaped  opening  in  the  crowd, 
kept  to  allow  the  Royalties  who  were  present  seated 
on  sofas  by  the  wall  to  see  what  was  going  on. 

Hamilton  Palace  was  the  Duke's  father's  favour- 
ite abode,  and  was  filled  with  marvels  of  art  and 
precious  books — all  dispersed  at  the  great  sale! 

Racing  and  hunting  were  the  Duke's  chief  hob- 
bies. A  story  is  told  of  him  in  1867,  the  night  be- 
fore the  Grand  National,  which  he  won  with  his 
horse  "Cortolvin."  He  was  feeling  particularly 
gay  and  full  of  beans  at  the  time,  and  made  no 
secret  of  the  fact  that  he  thought  his  horse  would 
win  the  steeplechase  on  the  following  day.  It  was 
during  the  evening  before  the  great  event  that  he 
looked  into  the  Washington  Hotel  at  Liverpool, 
where  all  the  chief  book-makers  and  backers  re- 
sorted, with  the  idea  of  either  doing  a  little  betting, 
or  hearing  the  latest  news  of  the  big  chase.  Here 
he  made  a  number  of  people  back  his  horse. 

During  the  revelry  the  Duke  went  to  the  bar  and 
said  to  the  girl  attendant,  "I  shall  put  you  on  a 
thousand  pounds  that  my  horse  wins  to-morrow." 
The  girl  had  no  idea  who  was  speaking  and  thought 
it  might  only  be  a  joke,  but  felt  elated,  nevertheless. 


82  FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

and  told  her  master,  who  said,  "Show  me  the  man 
who  said  it."  He  was  soon  pointed  out,  and  then 
the  girl  learnt  it  was  the  Duke  of  Hamilton  who 
had  made  the  promise. 

The  horse  won,  and  the  next  night  the  Duke  re- 
turned to  the  "Washington,"  which  was  again  full 
of  bookies  and  racing  people.  Instead  of  keeping 
his  word  by  means  of  a  cheque  he  went  round  the 
room  collecting  and  borrowing  the  money  from  the 
book-makers  and  others  present,  in  bank-notes  and 
country  notes  in  all  sorts  of  conditions,  dirty,  clean, 
crumpled,  pieced  together  with  stamped  paper  and 
otherwise.  These  he  rolled  up  one  round  the  other 
and  going  straight  to  the  bar  presented  the  roll  of 
notes  to  the  barmaid.  She  could  hardly  believe 
her  luck  and  again  sought  her  master,  excitedly 
carrying  her  handful  of  notes.  Her  employer 
locked  these  up  for  the  night  in  his  safe. 

When  the  next  Liverpool  Meeting  came  round, 
the  story  had  spread  far  and  wide,  in  consequence 
of  which  many  looked  in  to  the  "Washington"  to 
see  the  lucky  girl,  but  were  disappointed,  for  as 
soon  as  the  race  week  of  1867  was  over  she  left  her 
situation,  married  an  engineer  and  went  off  with 
him  and  her  thousand  pounds  to  America,  much  to 
the  grief  of  the  hotel  proprietor  in  Liverpool,  who 
said  the  Duke  had  been  the  means  of  robbing  him 
of  the  best  book-keeping  barmaid  he  ever  had. 

When  racing  in  France  the  Duke  was  in  his 
element,  and  ready  for  anything  from  pitch  and  toss 
to  cock-fighting.    Baden-Baden  owes  its  success  in 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS  83 

life  chiefly  to  him.  He  made  the  place  what  it  was 
and  has  been  ever  since.  In  September  he  always 
had  a  big  party  there,  a  happy  mixture  of  English 
and  French  friends.  He  won  many  races  there  on 
the  flat  and  steeple-chasing,  being  a  princely  patron 
of  both. 

I  was  sorry  he  never  won  the  Grand  Prix  de 
Paris.  I  should  like  to  have  seen  the  cerise  with 
French-grey  sleeves  and  cap  (the  Duke's  colours) 
to  the  fore.  Neither  was  he  ever  a  winner  of  the 
Derby,  or  even  placed  in  that  race  or  the  Two 
Thousand  Guineas,  but  he  won  the  One  Thousand, 
Oaks  and  St.  Leger.  At  Baden-Baden  he  won  a 
race  worth  £2000;  his  mother,  Princess  Mary  of 
Baden,  being  present  made  it  a  popular  win,  and 
I  know  the  Duke  was  pleased.  I  never  thought  him 
lucky  in  his  racing.  Once  in  1885  he  had  excep- 
tionally bad  luck  through  a  mistake  in  allocating  the 
weight  "Miss  Jummy"  had  to  carry  in  the  Post 
Sweepstakes  for  four  hundred  sovereigns  at  New- 
market. Marsh  being  the  trainer  it  was  his  busi- 
ness to  attend  to  such  details  as  the  weight  to  be 
carried. 

That  the  weight  was  wrong  was  not  discovered 
until  the  horses  had  cantered  to  the  post.  "Hot- 
spur" of  the  Daily  Telegraph  (Mr.  Charles  Green- 
wood) at  once  flew  off  to  the  Clerk  of  the  Scales  and 
asked  him  if  the  weight  declared  overnight  for  the 
race  card  was  what  the  filly  was  carrying,  because 
if  so  it  was  wrong,  receiving  a  reply  in  the  affirma- 
tive "Hotspur"  hastily  found  Mr.  Marsh,  but  it 


84  FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

was  too  late  to  send  down  to  the  post  and  correct 
the  error,  and  away  they  all  came,  "Miss  Jummy" 
first  by  three  parts  of  a  length,  "Sunrise,"  a  horse 
of  Mr.  Houldsworth's  second  and  General  Owen 
Williams'  "Lisbon"  third. 

An  objection  was,  of  course,  raised  to  "Miss 
Jummy"  for  carrying  wrong  weight.  The  objection 
was  sustained  and  the  race  awarded  to  "Sunrise." 

It  is  a  most  vexatious  thing  for  an  owner  to  find 
himself  in  such  a  position;  and  was  almost  an 
inexcusable  mistake,  most  disastrous  for  many, 
whose  long-drawn  faces  told  the  tale.  "Miss 
Jummy's"  owner  accepted  the  situation  more  pleas- 
antly than  many  would  have  done,  though  he  not 
only  lost  the  money  he  betted,  but  the  stakes  as 
well.  He  was  a  true  sportsman  and  took  the  rough 
with  the  smooth,  nevertheless,  it  was  certainly  one 
of  the  most  unlucky  days  during  his  long  racing 
career,  which  started  in  the  middle  of  the  sixties 
and  ended  in  the  nineties. 

Perhaps  his  best  year  was  1883  when  he  won 
two  dozen  races  value  £12,530,  which  sum  did  not 
include  events  under  the  National  Hunt  Rules 
Steeplechasing. 

When  "Cortolvin"  w^on  the  Grand  National  at 
Liverpool,  I  am  under  the  impression  Page  was  the 
jockey,  and  he  received  from  the  Duke  a  little 
present  of  £500.  I  cannot  be  certain  it  was  for 
that  particular  race,  but  I  am  certain  Page  received 
£500  for  one  of  the  big  races  he  rode  in  and  won 
for  his  employer. 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS  85 

I  can  picture  the  Duke  now  in  the  Birdcage  (the 
paddock)  at  Newmarket,  with  his  full-blooded  face 
surmounting  a  plentiful  display  of  neck,  with  a  low- 
cut  blue  shirt  and  more  often  than  not  a  scarlet  tie 
worn  sailor-knot  fashion. 

He  was  at  all  times  a  conspicuous  figure.  His 
greatcoats  were  superb  in  their  own  line,  being  of 
a  very  coachy  cut  and  graced  by  enormous  buttons, 
which  were  specially  made  for  him.  Many  people 
tried  to  copy  these  masterpieces  of  tailor's  art  and 
ducal  taste,  and  I  have  known  one  or  two  tall  slight 
figures  look  well  in  them,  but  they  required  a  Duke 
or  a  costermonger  to  carry  them  off  satisfactorily. 

Once  at  Newmarket  the  Duke  was  having  a  few 
words  with  one  of  his  commissioners  about  some 
betting  transaction  and  was  having  the  best  of  the 
argument.  As  the  man  turned  to  go  he  looked  the 
Duke  up  and  down  critically  and  said,  "Look  here 
your  Grace,  a  trip  for  to-morrow :  I  have  just  had  a 
wire  from  town  saying  that  Savernake  is  coming 
down  (referring  of  course  to  the  subsequent  Mar- 
quess of  Ailesbury,  known  as  the  coster-lord)  so 
you  be  careful  and  keep  out  of  the  way,  or  he'll 
claim  your  coat  and  buttons !" 

Custance  was  one  of  the  Duke's  favourite  jock- 
eys who  when  in  1894  he  wrote  his  own  reminis- 
cences he  presented  a  copy  to  his  patron  bearing 
this  dedication: — 

"To  His  Grace  the  Duke  of  Hamilton  and 
Brandon,  k.  t.,  as  some  slight  recognition  of  the 
many  favours  and  kindnesses  he  has  extended  to 


86  FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

me  during  my  riding  career  I  respectfully  dedicate 
these  pages." 

As  far  as  education  was  concerned  Custance  was 
quite  at  the  top  of  the  tree  amongst  his  riding 
contemporaries.  He  wrote  an  excellent  letter,  and 
was  full  of  humour  and  cheerfulness,  while  never 
forgetting  himself  or  taking  liberties. 

This  jockey  had  another  admirer  in  Lord  Chap- 
lin, who  considered  him  as  good  in  the  hunting 
field  as  he  was  on  the  flat.  It  was  in  consequence 
of  his  judgment  in  riding  across  a  country  that 
when  the  Prince  of  Wales  (King  Edward  VII) 
was  staying  at  Blankney,  Lord  Chaplin  gave 
"Cussy,"  as  his  intimates  called  the  jockey,  the 
honoured  post  of  piloting  the  Prince  in  the  hunting 
field. 

The  Duke  of  Hamilton,  knowing  Custance's  love 
for  hunting,  gave  him  a  well-known  old  steeple- 
chaser named  "The  Doctor,"  after  the  animal's 
racing  career  was  finished,  the  price  originally 
paid  for  this  horse  being  f  1200.  I  am  under  the 
impression  that  this  clever  and  willing  horse  had 
his  heart  broken  in  a  desperate  finish  between  him- 
self, ridden  by  Holman,  and  'The  Colonel,"  ridden 
by  Stevens,  for  the  poor  beast  was  never  the  same 
again,  having  been  so  severely  treated  that  the 
Society  for  Prevention  of  Cruelty  to  Animals  inter- 
fered, and  there  was  a  law  court  investigation.  It 
ended  in  the  case  being  dismissed,  but  it  was  never 
dismissed  from  "The  Doctor's"  mind,  for  ever  after 
when  in  any  way  pressed  in  races  he  stopped  and 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS  87 

kicked  furiously,  revenging  himself  in  that  way. 

Like  many  racehorses,  his  temper  had  been  spoilt 
by  his  training,  and  when  first  he  began  to  hunt  on 
the  horse  Custance  found  him  decidedly  impetuous 
and  queer  tempered.  Custance  described  the  horse 
when  first  he  entered  his  stable  as  "All  stomach, 
a  crib-biter,  ewe-necked,  and  with  a  club  foot  which 
had  a  way  of  refusing  to  keep  a  shoe  on."  He  was 
a  perfect  terror  in  the  stable,  and  once  when  Cus- 
tance decided  the  horse  should  have  a  dose  of  physic 
and  everybody  seemed  shy  of  administering  it,  the 
jockey  said  the  horse  knew  him  and  he  would  give 
the  dose  himself.  Armed  with  the  mixture,  a 
step-ladder  and  a  twitch  he  proceeded. 

All  went  well  as  long  as  only  linseed  oil  was 
tasted,  but  when  aloes  were  recognised  the  horse 
would  have  no  more  of  it  and,  in  spite  of  his  affec- 
tion for  Custance  and  the  twitch  on  his  nose,  he 
sent  the  step-ladder  flying  and  Custance  with  it, 
whilst  the  audience  watching  the  operation  fled  in 
all  directions.  The  horse  romped  round  and  round 
kicking  windows,  doors,  partitions,  everything  in 
reach  to  smithereens,  whilst  his  owner  was  kept  a 
prisoner  under  the  hay-trough  until  things  quieted 
down  a  bit. 

Captain  Arthur  Smith,  who  is  still  living,  will 
remember  this  clever  horse,  one  of  the  best  over 
Leicestershire,  where  for  six  years  he  held  his  own 
in  spite  of  being  a  roarer,  crib-biter,  weaver  and 
club-footed.  His  end  was  sad.  One  day,  when  out 
with  the  Cottesmore,  the  Duchess  of  Hamilton  told 


88  FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

Custance  there  was  a  lady  out  that  day  who  had 
been  heard  to  say  she  meant  to  cut  her  down,  so  she 
(the  Duchess)  wished  Custance  if  on  a  good  horse 
to  give  her  a  lead.  At  the  moment  he  did  not 
happen  to  be  on  a  particularly  clever  or  fast  mount, 
but  said  when  his  second  horse  arrived  he  would  be 
able  to  comply  with  her  wish.  The  second  horse 
happened  to  be  "The  Doctor,"  whom  the  Duchess 
knew  well  and  was  delighted  to  follow. 

Coming  to  a  fence  where  there  were  only  a  couple 
of  places  that  could  be  got  over,  Mr.  Henry  Lea- 
tham  jumped  it  first  and  his  mount  fell.  It  was  not 
a  very  formidable  place,  but  had  a  drop  of  about 
six  feet,  yet  there  did  not  appear  to  be  anything  to 
put  a  horse  down. 

The  Duchess  called  out  to  Custance,  "Here  is 
another  place,"  but  Mr.  Leatham  was  now  out  of 
the  way  and  it  was  too  late.  "The  Doctor"  jumped 
the  fence  beautifully,  but,  like  Mr.  Leatham's  horse, 
fell,  and  was  unable  to  raise  himself.  Assistance 
was  sent  for,  but  the  gallant  old  horse  had  broken 
his  shoulder,  having  landed  with  his  club  foot  on 
the  stump  of  a  tree  that  had  been  felled  and  which 
was  covered  with  fallen  leaves,  so,  poor  fellow,  he 
had  to  be  put  out  of  his  pain.  I  hear  that  Custance 
gives  an  account  of  this  game  old  horse  in  his  book 
of  reminiscences. 

The  Red  Duke,  as  he  was  called  on  account  of  his 
red  hair  and  reddish  purple  face,  kept  a  pack  of 
Harriers  at  Easton,  and  a  stable  full  of  horses  with 
which  he  mounted  many  friends  when  staying  with 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS  89 

him.  Amongst  these  horses  was  one  named  "Safe 
Coach"  a  sort  of  circus  horse  that  knew  his  business 
so  well  that  when  out  with  the  harriers  and  a  hare 
was  found  knew  at  once  what  was  expected  of  him. 
He  preferred  a  rider  who  remained  in  the  saddle 
and  played  the  game,  but  failing  that,  would  con- 
tinue to  hunt  the  hare  by  himself  quite  regardless 
of  hounds. 

Once  a  foreign  guest,  who  came  over  to  Easton 
from  Baden-Baden  to  stay  with  the  Duke,  sug- 
gested he  would  like  to  see  some  sport  with  the 
harriers,  but  confessing  he  was  not  a  great  horse- 
man was  mounted  on  "Safe  Coach."  Hounds  found 
quickly  and  away  went  this  knowing  animal,  jump- 
ing neatly  in  and  out  of  a  deep  lane.  His  mount 
just  escaped  embracing  Mother  Earth,  and,  aban- 
doning the  reins  entirely,  seized  the  horse's  mane 
with  one  hand  and  the  back  of  the  saddle  with  the 
other  sticking  on  like  grim  death,  allowing  "Safe 
Coach"  to  please  himself  entirely,  much  to  the 
Duke's  amusement,  though  the  horse  was  a  little 
too  pressing  at  times  and  interfered  somewhat  with 
the  sport. 

The  rider  reached  Easton  again  without  any 
broken  bones,  but  with  a  very  poor  opinion  of  "The 
Sport,"  and  could  never  be  persuaded  to  try  again. 

The  late  Lord  Kesteven  used  to  hunt  with  these 
harriers  a  good  deal.  He  was  a  good  horseman,  if 
one  can  so  describe  a  man  with  no  hands,  they 
being  always  gouty.  He  therefore  had  steel  hooks 
fastened  in  his  sleeves  and  straps  across  the  reins 


90  FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

to  steer  his  useful  and  accommodating  mount. 
Between  them  they  managed  to  see  a  good  deal  of 
sport. 

The  Duke  was  certainly  popular  in  the  particular 
community  to  which  he  belonged,  or  which  appro- 
priated him.  The  community  at  times  was  a  trifle 
exigent  in  demands  on  the  goodwill  and  kindness 
of  the  Duke. 

There  was  a  sporting  parson  who,  from  the 
neighbourhood  of  Saxmundham,  used  to  hunt  with 
the  Duke's  harriers.  Shortly  before  Christmas  one 
year  he  was  conspicuous  by  his  absence,  and  the 
Duke  noticing  the  parson  was  not  out  inquired 
where  he  was  or  what  had  happened  to  him.  I 
told  the  Duke  in  confidence  what  the  reason  was, 
that  he  had  been  obliged  to  sell  his  only  hunter  to 
help  a  relation  dying  of  cancer.  The  kind  old  man 
said,  "Dear,  dear,  we  must  see  about  that."  When 
Christmas  arrived  the  postman  delivered  a  letter  at 
the  Rectory  bearing  a  London  post-mark  and  con- 
taining two  hundred  pounds  in  bank-notes,  and 
printed  on  a  card,  "Wishing  you  a  happy  Christ- 
mas, from  an  old  friend  and  fellow-sportsman." 

A  little  later  a  mare  was  sent  over  to  the  parson 
with  a  note,  asking  him  if  he  would  be  good  enough 
to  give  her  a  little  work  as  she,  past  her  best,  was 
too  good  to  shoot,  but  might  perhaps  do  a  couple 
of  days  a  week  with  hounds. 

I  think  it  gave  the  Duke  sincere  pleasure  to  help 
those  less  well  off  than  himself,  and  all  his  kind 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS  91 

actions  were  carried  out  in  a  careless,  breezy  sort 
of  way,  leaving  no  painful  sense  of  obligation. 

No  Englishman  that  I  have  ever  met  spoke 
French  as  well  as  the  Duke  of  Hamilton.  It  was  a 
pleasure  to  listen  to  him,  not  only  was  he  idio- 
matically correct,  but  his  accent  perfect.  He  had 
spent  a  good  deal  of  the  early  part  of  his  life  in 
France,  which  no  doubt  accounts  for  this  to  some 
extent.  Mr.  Labouchere  thought  his  own  accent 
quite  as  good,  but  he  made  a  mistake ! 

The  Duke  also  knew  how  to  suit  himself  to  his 
company  as  well  as  anybody  I  ever  met.  From  his 
"live  and  let  live"  principles,  and  the  way  he  liked 
everybody  to  please  themselves,  it  came  as  a  sur- 
prise to  those  who  did  not  know  him  very  well  to 
find  what  a  strict  Scotch  Sabbatarian  he  was.  Even 
when  out  at  sea  on  his  yacht,  where  no  person's 
susceptibilities  were  likely  to  be  hurt,  he  would  not 
allow  his  piano  to  be  touched  on  Sunday  until  after 
midnight  except  for  hymn  tunes.  Even  Mozart  and 
Haydn  were  tabooed. 

In  my  humble  opinion  the  Duke  was  badly 
treated  by  the  world,  his  faults  were  those  of  an 
unusually  warm-hearted,  generous  schoolboy,  abso- 
lutely straightforward  and  honourable.  Yet  cer- 
tain saintly  people  who  were  quite  possibly  less 
straight  themselves  considered  it  their  duty  to 
blackball  him,  at  a  well-known  high  and  mighty  club. 

One  or  two  people  I  could  name  loved  him,  much, 
a  certain  egotistical  young  genius  named  Marie 
Bashkertseff  for  one,  and  she  describes  the  manner 


92  FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

thereof  in  her  published  diaries,  price  one  franc 
fifty  centimes. 

Some  years  ago  there  was  in  the  west-country  a 
certain  pack  of  hounds  that  hunted  carted  deer. 
Their  master  used  to  provide  entertainment  for 
his  followers  after  the  same  fashion  as  Mr.  Car- 
naby  Forster.  On  one  occasion  he  became  em- 
broiled in  a  heated  argument  with  a  farmer,  but  a 
small  brook  in  flood  unfortunately  separated  the 
two.  Vengeance  w^as  not  to  be  delayed  by  such  a 
small  thing.  The  Master  plunged  boldly  in,  crossed 
and  veritably  annihilated  the  farmer,  and  then 
waded  back  again.  As  soon  as  he  had  cooled  down 
a  little  and  recovered  from  the  glow  of  having 
added  another  scalp  to  his  collection  he  became  con- 
scious of  the  fact  that  his  boots  were  full  of  water, 
so  the  affair  came  to  a  suitable  conclusion  by  the 
IMaster  standing  on  his  head,  supported  by  his  whip 
on  one  side  and  second  horseman  on  the  other, 
until  the  water  drained  out. 

While  this  took  place  he  was  surrounded  by  a 
silent  admiring  circle  of  followers'. 

In  his  calmer  moments  the  Master  was  a  delight- 
ful companion,  witty  and  amusing.  He  is  still  alive 
and  flourishing,  I  am  glad  to  say. 

He  was  once  seen  thrashing  his  motor  because  it 
would  not  start! 

On  another  occasion  when  out  hunting  he  saw  a 
number  of  his  field  galloping  off  without  waiting  to 
shut  a  gate  after  them,  he  shouted  at  the  top  of  his 
voice,  and  it  was  a  fairly  strong  one,  "Here  you" — 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS  93 

something,  something!  ''Come  back  and  shut  that 
gate — you  .  .  .  !  .  .  .  ! !  ...!!!  fellows  come 
out  with  my  hounds  knowing  nothing  more  of  farm- 
ing than  wooden  images  and  caring  less,  leaving 
gates  open  behind  you  so  that  the  farmer's  stock 
will  get  out,  you  .  . .  !  ...!!" 

Here  the  culprit  tried  to  speak,  but  was  over- 
whelmed. 

"Holl  your  tongue,  I  won't  have  it,  I  tell  you. 
Go  back  and  shut  that  gate  instantly."  The  culprit 
in  a  timid  voice,  "But  it's  my  gate  and  I  want  it 
open !" 

Here  the  Master's  early  training  as  a  barrister 
came  to  his  rescue,  and  he  replied,  without  any 
outward  signs  or  discomfiture,  "that  does  not  alter 
the  principle  of  the  thing  in  the  least,"  and  rode  on. 

I  feel  as  if  I  could  go  on  writing  indefinitely  about 
masters  of  hounds,  but  I  will  only  mention  one 
more.  He  is  a  dear  little  man  who  lives  in  Wales, 
hunts  his  own  hounds  and  is  well  known  to  every- 
one who  buys  or  sells  them,  as  he  loves  a  deal  above 
all  things.  Although  a  particularly  cheerful  and 
most  entertaining  individual,  he  was  very  fussy 
about  his  health,  being  frequently  convinced  that  he 
was  dying.  At  a  meet  it  was  a  mark  of  high  esteem 
to  be  invited  to  peer  down  his  throat  and  see  for 
oneself  how  inflamed  his  tonsils  were.  His  faithful 
whipper-in,  named  Davis,  was  long  past  being 
surprised  at  anything;  he  surveyed  the  world  with 
the  most  impassive  face  I  have  ever  seen. 

One  day  in  the  middle  of  a  run,  hounds  had 


94  FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

pushed  their  fox  through  a  covert  and  were  making 
for  a  particularly  fine  line  of  country  when  the 
Master  was  seen  to  be  staring  at  a  pocket-handker- 
chief he  was  holding  in  his  hand.  "Davis,  Davis," 
he  cried  passionately  and  almost  tearfully,  "stop 
them,  whip  them  off;  I  am  going  home,  my  nose  is 
bleeding!" 

One  meets  with  tragedy  as  well  as  comedy  in 
the  hunting-field  sometimes.  I  remember  a  very 
sporting  little  man  who  rode  a  good  deal  in  steeple- 
chases and  point-to-points,  who  lived  on  the  out- 
skirts of  a  harrier  country  which  my  son  was  hunt- 
ing with  his  own  hounds  at  the  time  of  which  I  am 
writing.  The  little  man  was  well  known  and  popu- 
lar throughout  the  country,  but  no  one  knew  any- 
thing about  his  home  life.  One  day  he  suggested  to 
my  son  that  the  harriers  should  draw  his  land,  as  it 
held  a  few  hares,  though  being  so  far  off  was  never 
hunted.  Accordingly  a  meet  in  this  new  country 
was  arranged.  A  hare  was  found  and  a  good  day's 
sport  resulted. 

Suddenly  while  drawing  a  root  field,  the  figure  of 
a  tall  wild-looking  woman  sprang  into  a  bank  at  the 
side  of  the  field  and  began  raving  and  abusing  the 
Master,  his  hounds  and  the  members  of  the  field  in 
a  torrent  of  most  fluent  adjectives.  She  told  them 
passionately  to  be  off  and  tongue-lashed  everybody 
singly  and  collectively. 

A  horror-stricken  silence  fell,  nobody  knew  quite 
what  to  do.  The  Master  hurriedly  took  the  pack 
away  to  draw  somewhere  else  and  said  to  the  owner 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS  95 

of  the  land  at  whose  instigation  he  had  come,  "I 
fear  someone  does  not  Uke  us  very  much,  perhaps 
we  had  better  move  off  elsewhere?"  "Don't  take 
any  notice,"  replied  the  poor  little  man  sadly,  "that 
is  my  wife,  she  has  been  raving  mad  for  years  and 
at  times  breaks  away  from,  those  who  take  care 
of  her." 

I  do  not  think  there  was  anyone  on  the  field  who, 
before  that  day,  had  the  slightest  idea  he  even  had 
a  wife.  For  a  thoroughly  unromantic  and  therefore 
doubly  real  little  tragedy,  I  think  that  would  be 
hard  to  beat. 

If  Jorrock's  calculation  that  fox-hunting  repre- 
sents the  excitement  but  only  twenty-five  per  cent 
of  the  danger  of  war  is  correct,  there  can  be  only 
about  one  per  cent,  or  even  less,  of  its  danger  in 
otter-hunting,  indeed  it  would  be  hard  to  imagine 
anything  much  safer  than  the  otter-hunter's 
majestic  promenade  through  sun-kissed  hay  fields, 
bordering  some  babbling  brook,  unless  we  take  sun- 
stroke into  our  calculations. 

But  I  remember  once  strolling  along  in  just  such 
a  hay  field  talking  to  a  ponderous  and  stately  Lon- 
don solicitor  who  had  come  out  for  a  day's  sport 
as  he  was  staying  in  a  village  close  by. 

In  the  midst  of  our  conversation  a  hound  came 
casting  along  the  bank  and  ran  between  the  solici- 
tor's legs.  Down  went  the  poor  fat  man  and  broke 
his  collar-bone! 

After  this  he  no  longer  considered  otter-hunting 
a  safe  or  suitable  pursuit. 


CHAPTER  V 

Mr.  Corney  Grain  at  Home  and  Elsewhere — He  and  Cap- 
tain Beaumont  Perpetrate  a  Joke — With  the  Fire  Brigade 
in  Southwark  Bridge  Road — An  Accident  to  Captain 
Beaumont — A  Labouchere  and  Lawson  Row — How  it 
Ended — Mr.  Labouchere  at  Home — How  he  Treated  a 
Guest — Asked  why  he  Called  His  Paper  Truth — His 
Reply — After  Dinner  Tableaux — Mr.  Augustus  Harris 
Personates  Royalty — Mr.  Corney  Grain  as  "Rags  and 
Chatters" — A  Mock  Court-Martial — Execution  Effected 
on  a  Princeling — Mr.  Joseph  Chamberlain  as  I  knew 
him — In  a  Toy  Shop — Fond  of  Children — Letty  Lind 
and  her  "Wages" — Marion  Hood  and  her  Hair. 

MOST  of  the  theatrical  people  I  have  known 
have  been  bright  and  amusing.  I  think 
Mr.  Corney  Grain  interested  me  the  most, 
though  he  could  hardly  be  called  theatrical.  He 
appeared  certainly  for  many  years  with  the  German 
Reeds  at  St.  George's  Hall,  Langham  Place,  but  I 
suppose  it  would  be  more  correct  to  call  him  a 
''high-class  society  entertainer!"  I  often  specu- 
lated on  how  so  hyper-sensitive  a  man  could  have 
chosen  such  a  role,  one  bound  often  to  irritate  and 
hurt  his  feelings. 

When  recounting  to  me  some  of  the  stories  he 
often  told  against  himself,  and  which  many  people 
of  that  date  will  remember,  I  asked  him  why  he  de- 

96 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS  97 

serted  the  Bar  for  society  entertaining?  He  re- 
plied the  latter  appeared  to  him  the  ''most  amusing, 
least  sweat,  and  what  Providence  intended  me  to 
be,"  adding,  'Tt  would  be  such  a  waste  of  material 
for  such  a  huge  funny-looking  man  not  to  do  tricks, 
so  little  being  necessary  on  top  of  my  natural  ap- 
pearance to  amuse  the  public." 

For  the  benefit  of  the  rising  generation,  who  may 
not  remember  much  about  Mr.  Grain,  I  had  better 
explain  that  the  unusual  appearance  he  referred  to 
consisted  in  his  size, — not  only  was  he  very  tall  but 
he  had  immense  depth  beyond  the  ribs  as  his  sport- 
ing friends  would  say,  a  big  nose,  fair  and  rather 
curly  hair,  a  very  pale  complexion  and  big  blue 
rather  prominent  eyes.  His  feet  were  a  trial  to 
him,  he  said,  they  were  always  in  the  way. 

Amongst  the  stories  he  was  fond  of  telling  were 
the  following:  He  was  engaged  to  perform  at  a 
house  in  South  Kensington  during  an  afternoon 
gathering,  a  sort  of  bun  struggle.  Arriving  as 
usual  in  a  humble  four-wheeler  and  alighting  at  the 
front  door  he  was  told  by  a  gorgeous  footman  that 
he  had  come  to  the  wrong  entrance,  and  was  then 
shown  into  the  servants'  hall  and  given  a  glass  of 
beer  to  amuse  him  until  his  presence  was  required 
in  the  drawing-room,  the  servants  evidently  regard- 
ing him  at  least  one  degree  below  the  chimney 
sweep ! 

At  another  entertainment,  this  time  in  Queen's 
Gate,  while  standing  in  the  drawing-room  awaiting 
his  turn  to  be  funny,  he  entered  into  polite  con- 


98  FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

versation  with  the  son  of  the  house,  lately  home 
from  Eton.  First  he  tried  cricket,  then  football,  to 
which  the  youth  seemed  quite  cold,  so  at  last  Mr. 
Grain  said,  "What  a  charming  piano  you  have." 
The  youth  shifted  from  one  leg  to  the  other,  closed 
his  eyes,  and  said,  *'0h,  it's  a  rotten  old  thing,  but 
mother  said  it  was  good  enough  for  you  to  thump 
on;  she  had  the  best  one  moved  out  of  the  room!" 

Mr.  Grain  used  to  tell  these  stories  with  a  great 
show  of  amusement,  but  it  was  perfectly  plain  that 
they  hurt  his  feelings. 

Dick  Grain,  as  his  intimates  used  to  call  him, 
was  of  gentle  birth  and  well  mannered  (the  two  do 
not  always  go  together),  and  an  entertainer  of  the 
highest  order.  An  emancipated  schoolgirl  once  re- 
marked, "His  show  is  one  that  is  quite  safe  to  take 
one's  mother  to  see !" 

His  brother,  the  well-known  veteran  barrister, 
died  while  I  have  been  writing  this  book;  he  had  a 
large  practice,  was  full  of  humour,  and  told  capital 
stories  of  himself  and  others,  while  he  was  never 
tired  of  talking  about  his  brother  Dick,  to  whom  he 
was  much  attached  and  whose  abilities  he  admired 
and  appreciated. 

Dick  Grain's  barrister  brother  was  legal  adviser 
to  the  Licensed  Victualler's  Board  and  Association. 
Endless  jokes  were  poked  at  the  legal  adviser  by 
his  brother  Dick. 

Once  when  dining  in  De  Vere  Gardens  with  some 
friends,  Mr.  Corney  Grain,  the  eiitertainer,  sat  on 
one  side  of  me  and  Commander  Beaumont  (I  for- 


Mr.  Corney  Grain 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS  99 

get  his  ship)  on  the  other.  Mrs.  George  Harvey, 
who  was  staying  with  me  at  the  time,  was  there  too, 
she  was  related  to  our  host  and  hostess.  During  a 
shght  pause  in  the  conversation  she  said  that  she 
would  like  to  run  away  with  a  certain  lamp-shade 
in  the  room  which  she  greatly  admired;  also  that 
she  wished  some  of  the  beautiful  old-fashioned 
spoons  and  forks  were  hers.  We  thought  no  more 
of  this  until  the  time  came  for  our  departure  and 
we  proceeded  to  get  into  the  brougham,  only  to  find 
all  available  space  taken  up  by  the  lamp-shade  and 
family  silver. 

This  was  the  result  of  Mr.  Grain  and  Captain 
Beaumont's  mischief  in  consultation  with  our  host ! 
We  had  to  wait  some  time  to  have  it  all  returned 
to  its  proper  place  before  we  could  enter  the  car- 
riage for  home. 

All  these  cheery  people  have  long  ago  joined  the 
great  majority  except  Mrs.  George  Harvey. 

Captain  Beaumont  was  a  little  lame,  the  result  of 
an  accident  at  one  of  Captain  Eyre  Shaw's  after- 
noons in  Southwark  Bridge  Road,  If  I  remember 
rightly  these  were  held  every  other  Thursday  when 
Captain  Shaw  and  his  pleasant  wife  (who  was  I 
believe  Portuguese  or,  at  any  rate,  very  foreign- 
looking),  entertained  their  friends  and  let  them  see 
the  fire-brigade  drill  and  effect  rescues  from  top- 
story  windows,  people  shot  down  fire-escapes  and 
so  forth.  It  was  on  one  of  these  occasions,  after 
the  show  was  really  concluded,  that  Captain  Beau- 
mont (a  brother  of  the  late  Lady  Swansea)  thought 


lOO         FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

he  would  show  a  small  and  admiring  circle  of 
friends  what  he  could  do,  how  accustomed  he  was 
to  climbing  great  heights  on  rope  ladders  and  so 
on  while  at  sea. 

He  therefore  lashed  a  couple  of  ladders  together 
while  his  host  and  the  majority  of  his  friends  were 
having  tea  in  the  house;  the  picturesque  lashing 
concluded,  the  ladder  was  placed  against  a  high 
window  and  Captain  Beaumont  swarmed  up  it  with 
cat-like  rapidity,  unfortunately  the  lashing  was 
more  picturesque  than  trustworthy,  and  when  near- 
ing  the  top  it  collapsed ;  the  poor  man  falling  with  a 
crash  at  the  feet  of  his  scared  friends. 

The  result  of  this  little  attempt  to  entertain  those 
present,  and  perhaps  do  a  little  show-off,  resulted 
in  his  being  slightly  lame  for  the  rest  of  his  life. 

At  the  time  we  saw  most  of  Mr.  Grain  his  rooms 
were  in  Bond  Street  over  a  shop — I  think  it  was  a 
jeweller's — many  delightful  afternoons  have  we 
spent  in  that  "upper  part,"  as  the  house  agents 
would  describe  it,  with  Mr.  Grain  and  his  piano. 

The  drawing-room  was  large  and  lofty,  looking 
on  to  Atkinson's  "Smell  shop,"  as  he  used  to  call 
the  large  scent  shop  at  the  corner  of  Bond  Street 
and  Burlington  Gardens.  The  furniture  of  the 
room  consisted  chiefly  of  a  grand  piano  and  a 
"grand  sofa,"  he  said  there  was  not  room  for  much 
else  when  he  was  there.  Oh  yes !  there  was  a  music 
stool  described  by  its  owner  as  a  "weight-carrier." 
Poor  man,  he  lived  a  little  too  soon,  when  I  think 
of  the  miserable  sums  he  was  paid  for  his  most 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS         loi 

clever,  amusing  and  always  in  good  taste  perform- 
ances compared  with  those  paid  to-day,  say,  for 
instance  to  George  Robey  or  other  funny  men  of 
the  moment. 

I  know  at  times  Mr.  Grain  said  he  could  not 
afford  cabs  to  carry  him  to  keep  his  engagements 
so  was  obliged  to  sally  forth  in  enormous  galoshes 
and  umbrella,  either  on  foot  or  by  omnibus.  Ten 
pounds  was  a  very  average  sum  paid  to  him  for 
his  services,  afternoon  or  evening;  I  told  him  it  was 
his  own  fault,  he  should  raise  his  price,  but  he  was 
too  shy  to  do  this,  and  said  he  felt  he  ought  to  ask 
less  as  he  knew  he  grew  less  funny  and  would  hate 
to  be  told  so,  he  therefore  preferred  to  jog  along  on 
the  old  lines.  He  really  was  quite  extraordinarily 
shy  and  sensitive.    A  kind  friend  and  bitter  foe. 

It  had  been  arranged  one  year  that  he  should 
join  our  party  at  Henley  and  lunch  with  us  in  the 
Isthmian  Club  tent;  we  were  to  be  a  party  of  eight, 
counting  Mr.  Grain.  When  the  morning  for  our 
jaunt  arrived  there  was  a  heavy  shower,  but  not 
enough  to  prevent  our  going. 

Just  before  we  started  a  note  and  large  brown- 
paper  parcel  was  brought  to  me.  On  opening  the 
missive  I  found  Mr.  Grain  was  "desolate"  at  being 
deprived  of  the  pleasure  of  joining  our  party,  but 
some  oysters  he  had  eaten  the  night  before  had 
"Gone  the  wrong  way !"  and  he  was  not  well  enough 
to  appear;  as  it  was  so  wet  he  was  sending  one  of 
his  private  canoes  for  my  use,  this  turned  out  to 
be  one  of  his  enormous  galoshes  done  up  in  the 


I02         FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

brown-paper  parcel.  He  hoped  while  we  were  en- 
joying ourselves  canoeing  about  in  it  we  would 
think  kindly  of  the  suffering  owner. 

My  young  brother,  who  was  one  of  the  party, 
insisted  on  filling  the  galosh  with  lobster  salad, 
strawberry  ices  and  such  delicacies,  and  sending  it 
back  in  the  evening  with  many  kind  enquiries  and 
hopes  that  by'  then  the  sufferer  would  be  able  to 
enjoy  some  of  the  Isthmian  luncheon  which  had 
been  put  on  one  side  for  him. 

Much  to  our  friend's  annoyance  he  was  dragged 
as  a  witness  into  the  Labouchere-Lawson  Case, 
which  was  the  outcome  of  a  row  between  those 
gentlemen  outside  the  Beef  Steak  Club  in  Septem- 
ber, 1879.  Having  been  subpoenaed,  Mr.  Grain 
was  bound  to  appear. 

As  it  all  happened  so  long  ago,  it  may  be  well  to 
recall  the  cause  of  the  fracas. 

Mr.  Labouchere,  the  brilliant  editor  of  Truth, 
had  for  some  years  been  saying  unkind  things  of 
Mr.  Edward  Lawson  (whose  original  name  was 
Levy,  to  which  in  accordance  to  his  uncle's  wish 
had  been  added  Lawson,  and  who  later  became 
Lord  Burnham  and  proprietor  of  The  Daily  Tele- 
graph) holding  him  and  his  family  up  to  ridicule 
both  in  Truth  and  the  World,  calling  Mr.  Lawson 
a  disgrace  to  journalism,  etc. 

Both  were  members  of  the  Beef  Steak  Club. 

At  last  Mr.  Lawson  could  stand  it  no  longer  and 
waiting  outside  the  club  for  *'Labby"  gave  him 
a  whack  on  the  head  with  his  cane;  he  at  once 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS  103 

wished  to  fight  a  duel  in  Belgium,  but  this  was 
declined  by  Mr.  Lawson  because  he  said  he  only 
fought  gentlemen  and  he  did  not  consider  Mr. 
Labouchere  was  one.  After  this  an  abusive  letter 
dated  October  ist  was  sent  by  Labby  to  Mr.  Law- 
son  and  the  former  also  published  it.  This  led 
to  an  action  for  libel  brought  by  Mr.  Lawson  and 
was  heard  before  Mr.  Justice  Coleridge  and  a  special 
jury  in  March,  1881. 

After  a  protracted  trial  in  which  Mr.  Labou- 
chere conducted  his  own  case  and  cross-examined 
Mr.  Lawson  on  the  Eastern  question  and  some 
political  topics  that  had  appeared  in  The  Daily 
Telegraph,  the  jury  were  unable  to  agree  on  a  ver- 
dict, being,  I  believe,  almost  equally  divided,  so 
they  were  dismissed  and  the  matter  ended  for 
the  time  being,  after  eight  days  had  been  wasted 
on  the  trial. 

The  case  caused  a  great  deal  of  excitement  and 
party  feeling  at  the  time.  Mr.  Labouchere  was 
turned  out  of  the  Beef  Steak  Club,  but  brought  an 
action  against  that  club  which  he  won,  so  he  re- 
mained a  member,  but  I  should  imagine  not  alto- 
gether a  comfortable  one. 

Poor  Mr.  Grain  had  a  certain  amount  of  fun 
poked  at  him  by  judge  and  jury  as  to  his  profession, 
the  learned  judge,  if  I  am  correctly  informed,  pre- 
tending he  did  not  know  who  Mr.  Grain  was  and 
apologising  for  his  ignorance. 

Mr.  Labouchere  was  at  his  best  in  his  own  home, 
an  excellent,  though  at  times  alarming  host,  for 


104         FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

he  was  as  full  of  pranks  and  jokes  as  a  school- 
boy. Once  Sir  W'illoughby  IMaycock  was  dining 
with  him  and  his  wife  at  Pope's  \'illa  near  Twick- 
enham, the  only  other  guest  being  old  ^Ir.  ^laxwell 
and  his  wife,  the  latter  best  known  as  Miss  Brad- 
don  the  authoress.  After  dinner  Labby  conducted 
the  gentlemen  to  the  cloak  room  to  wash  their 
hands,  whispering  to  Sir  Willoughby  to  hurry  up 
as  he  wanted  to  lock  old  Maxwell  in  as  he  was 
rather  an  old  bore;  Sir  Willoughby  having  "hur- 
ried up"  the  key  was  quietly  turned  in  the  door. 

At  that  time  Miss  Braddon  was  writing  a  book 
about  Paris  during  the  siege,  where  ]\Ir.  Labou- 
chere  had  been  The  Daily  Nei^'s  correspondent 
(and  afterwards  brought  out  an  amusing  book 
over  which  I  laughed  at  his  account  of  endeavoring 
to  cook  a  portion  of  elephant  over  a  spirit  stove!) 
Having  locked  in  her  husband,  Labby  calmly  sat 
down  and  helped  Miss  Braddon  for  about  twenty 
minutes  with  material  for  her  book.  Sir  Wil- 
loughby meanwhile  sat  twiddling  his  thumbs  in  an 
agony  of  mind,  wondering  what  on  earth  w^ould 
happen;  when  a  distant  thumping  was  heard, 
which,  of  course,  came  from  the  unhappy  man  in 
the  cloak-room. 

'T  wonder  where  Mr.  ^Maxwell  can  have  got 
to,"  said  Labby  in  a  most  innocent  manner.  'T'll 
go  and  see." 

Presently  he  returned  with  the  poor  old  boy  look- 
ing very  cross,  suspecting  it  was  the  result  of  one 
of  Mr.  Labouchere's  pranks,  though  of  course  he 


FURTHER  IXDISCRETIOXS  105 

was  told  the  door  had  a  tiresome  habit  of  sticking 
at  times,  and  how  dreadfully  concerned  his  host 
was !    Labby  was  a  magnificent  humbug. 

Once  I  asked  him  why  he  chose  the  name  Truth 
for  his  paper,  and  said  that  was  the  last  thing  any- 
body wished  to  be  told.  He  replied,  "Quite  so, 
about  themselves  but  not  of  other  people!" 

I  remember  some  impromptu  tableaux  got  up  one 
evening  after  dinner  at  our  house.  Mr.  Augustus 
Harris  impersonated  the  Prince  of  Wales  (King 
Edward  VH),  and  most  wonderfully  he  did  it.  Mr. 
Corney  Grain  appeared  as  "Rags  and  Chatters" 
with  his  coat  inside  out  showing  very  torn  silk 
linings  to  the  sleeves.  After  this  they  had  a  court- 
martial  on  Baron  Halkett  for  having  shaved  off 
his  moustache  without  Royal  sanction.  It  must  be 
explained  that  the  Baron  was  a  civilian,  and  had 
always  been,  we  thought,  extremely  proud  of  his 
beautiful  waxed  moustache  which  stuck  out  dan- 
gerously at  each  side  in  fine  stiff  points.  One  day 
a  g^rl  made  a  bet  he  would  not  shave  it  off,  he  was 
too  much  attached  to  it.  Behold  next  day  he  ap- 
peared without  it.  We  hardly  knew  him.  He  was 
therefore  court-martialed  after  dinner,  no  one  be- 
ing more  amused  than  himself. 

The  Duke  of  Cambridge  was  presiding  in  the 
person  of  Mr.  Augustus  Harris,  most  wonderfully 
got  up  on  the  spur  of  the  moment  with  a  hea\y  grey 
moustache  made  of  portions  of  a  goatskin  mat, 
ruthlessly  cut  off  corners,  where  I  was  told  it  would 
never  be  missed,  and  stuck  on  with  melted  wax 


io6         FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

candle.     Mr.   Corney  Grain  prosecuted  and  Mr. 
Joseph  Chamberlain  defended. 

The  amount  of  fun  and  nonsense  they  managed 
to  cram  into  half  an  hour  was  amazing.  Mr.  Grain 
with  puckered  brow  explained  how  pained  he  was 
at  having  to  prosecute  his  old  friend  for  such  a 
heinous  offence,  *'Not  from  a  sudden  temptation 
but  a  premeditated  crime,  all  for  filthy  lucre!"  Mr. 
Chamberlain  with  eye-glass  screwed  firmly  into  his 
eye  and  nose  looking  more  aggressive  than  ever, 
patted  one  finger  emphatically  in  the  palm  of  the 
other  hand  while  he  held  forth  on  "The  heroism  of 
the  accused  who  had  so  recently  parted  with  so  dear 
and  close  a  companion  that  he  had  reared  and 
watched  over  with  loving  care  from  its  infancy 
until  it  reached  three  kilometers  in  length!"  Shak- 
ing his  finger  angrily  at  the  prosecutor  he  con- 
tinued, **And  why  has  he  done  this  thing,  gentle- 
men? I  will  tell  you,"  here  he  paused  dramatically, 
''because  after  seriously  mutilating  the  optic  of  a 
perfectly  innocent  girl  with  his  moustache  while 
she  was  walking  peacefully  down  the  Haymarket, 
he  came  to  the  conclusion  that  his  hirsute  decora- 
tion was  a  danger  to  the  public,  and  when  I  tell  you 
that  the  Baron  will  probably  have  to  provide  and 
pay  rent  on  a  new  eye  for  the  young  lady,  may  even 
possibly  have  to  keep  her  for  the  rest  of  his  life,  you 
will  agree  with  me  that  he  has  suffered  enough 
without  the  most  unjust  and  indecent,  yes,  I  say  it 
again,  indecent  accusation  from  my  learned  friend 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS         107 

opposite  (Corney  Grain)  that  the  motive  was  for 
'filthy  lucre!'" 

This  is  nearly  word  for  word  as  I  can  remember 
it.  The  accused  tried  at  intervals  to  have  a  voice 
in  the  matter,  but  was  hastily  thrust  into  a  chair 
and  told  to  leave  the  case  in  his  (Mr.  Chamber- 
lain's) experienced  hands  and  trust  to  his  skill. 

Then  came  the  summing  up  of  Mr.  Augustus 
Harris,  who  with  trembling  voice  said  it  was  his 
painful  duty — here  he  burst  into  tears  and  kept  a 
large  antimacassar  he  had  seized  off  the  end  of  the 
sofa  to  his  eyes,  while  with  the  disengaged  hand 
he  produced  from  somewhere  a  black  (lace)  cap, 
borrowed  from  my  old  housekeeper,  and  with  this 
hanging  jauntily  on  one  side  of  his  sparsely  covered 
pate  condemned  the  miserable  culprit,  who  had 
"Received  so  patient  and  fair  a  trial,"  to  be  taken 
hence  and  hanged  till  he  be  black  in  the  face. 

It  then  became  the  duty  of  the  prosecutor  to 
remove  the  protesting  prisoner.  Mr.  Chamberlain 
fought  valiantly  for  his  client. 

Mr.  F.  A.  Inderwick,  Q.C.,  who  was  also  present, 
said  if  he  had  not  seen  it  with  his  own  eyes  and 
heard  it  with  his  own  ears  he  would  never  have 
believed  Mr.  Joseph  Chamberlain  would  have  so 
unbent,  or  indeed  that  he  could  have  done  so. 

By  the  way,  I  often  wondered  why  Mr.  Inder- 
wick was  not  made  a  judge.  I  think  he  was  a  little 
pained  about  it.  He  was  certainly  popular  with 
both  judges  and  clients  and  he  had  a  pleasant  voice 
and  manner.    He  affirmed  most  modestly  that  his 


io8         FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

success  was  due  to  Messrs.  Lewis  and  Lewis  of  Ely 
Place.    But  I  have  run  away  from  my  story. 

It  was  all  very  silly  and  very  funny,  but  refresh- 
ing to  see  great  men  frolicking,  for  they  were  great 
men  in  their  several  ways. 

Take  Mr.  Corney  Grain  first.  He  certainly  was 
great  in  his  own  line.  It  must  be  grand  to  be  able 
to  cheer  and  amuse  crowds  of  people  day  after  day, 
sending  them  home  refreshed,  with  some  of  the 
cobwebs  swept  away  by  hearty  laughter. 

Then  Mr.  Augustus  Harris,  afterwards  Sir 
Augustus  Harris,  who  would  dare  say  he  was  not  a 
great  man?  How  many  have  trembled  in  their 
shoes  awaiting  his  verdict  of  "To  be  or  not  to  be" 
when  their  plays  have  been  offered  for  his  accept- 
ance, or  their  legs  were  under  his  consideration 
with  a  view  to  dancing,  while  the  theatrical  auto- 
crat smiled  that  comfortable  smile  that  seemed  to 
say,  'T  have  dined  well  and  feel  very  happy," 
though  at  times  he  acknowledged  he  went  to  sleep 
while  authors'  great  productions  were  being  read 
to  him,  declaring  he  knew  all  about  them  never- 
theless. 

This  great  Drury  Lane  man,  ''Druriolanus,"  as 
some  folk  used  to  call  him,  tried  to  persuade  me  in 
1889  to  go  on  the  stage.  I  assured  him  I  should 
never  be  able  to  remember  my  part,  and  if  I  did  I 
should  render  it  differently  each  day  according  to 
my  mood  and  never  give  the  right  cue.  He  said 
none  of  that  would  matter,  he  would  give  me  a 
walking  on  part,  but  what  he  particularly  wanted 


Mr.  Inilcrwick,  (j.C 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS         109 

me  to  undertake  was  the  part  of  Lydia  Languish  in 
"The  Rivals."  At  last  he  gave  me  up  in  despair. 
If  I  had  known  him  well  enough  I  should  have 
liked  to  point  out  to  him  how  his  waistcoats  troubled 
me  and  to  suggest  his  having  them  cut  with  a  deep 
point  instead  of  round,  it  would  have  reduced  his 
barrel-like  appearance,  and  I  did  not  like  the  braid 
trimming  on  them,  but  I  did  like  his  gardenias, 
without  one  of  which  I  seldom  saw  him. 

He  loved  colour  and  had  an  artist's  eye.  He 
designed  several  dresses  he  wished  me  to  have  made 
and  wear.  They  were  really  very  striking,  but  a 
little  too  "voyant"  for  me  with  the  exception  of 
one  ball  dress  in  ''sunset-coloured  satin"  he  called 
it,  draped  in  grey  tulle.  I  called  it  flame  colour. 
That  dress  did  great  execution,  so  much  so  that 
when  wearing  it  at  the  Wellington  Club  one  night 
before  going  on  to  a  dance,  I  was  asked  by  an 
elderly  gentleman  in  high  favour  amongst  Royal- 
ties if  I  would  try  and  wean  a  certain  Princeling's 
affections  from  an  Irish  girl  to  whom  he  was  pay- 
ing too  marked  attention. 

I  agreed  to  do  my  very  best  and  threw  myself 
heart  and  soul  into  the  task  with  such  success  (no 
doubt  owing  to  the  flame-coloured  dress  designed 
by  Mr.  Harris)  that  I  had  to  call  fervently  for 
someone  else  to  be  sent  to  act  as  counter-irritant 
mustard-blister  fashion,  for  I  was  fairly  entangled 
myself — I  have  never  felt  quite  sure  I  did  not  miss 
the  opportunity  of  my  life  on  that  occasion,  but 
perhaps  my  humble  role  suits  me  best.     I  would 


no         FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

rather  be  a  free  mouse  and  roam  where  I  like  than 
a  lioness  in  a  gilded  cage. 

In  his  youth  I  believe  Mr.  Harris  travelled  for 
some  big  silk  merchants;  he  became  a  great  man, 
I  always  think,  through  his  firm  belief  in  himself. 
I  am  afraid  I  must  allow  he  was  conceited,  but  a 
man  who  has  practically  made  himself  surely  has 
some  right  to  be.  The  day  he  became  Key  Holder 
of  the  Grand  Lodge  of  Masonry,  or  whatever  it  is 
termed  (for  I  know  very  little  about  the  correct 
terms  and  sayings  of  the  craft)  was  one  of  exulta- 
tion and  triumph,  and  when  decked  out  in  Civic 
costume  as  one  of  the  sheriffs  of  the  City  of  Lon- 
don he  was  indeed  proud  and  happy. 

One  day  when  driving  in  the  demi-state  sort  of 
carriage  allowed  to  Sheriffs  of  the  City  during  their 
term  of  office,  he  was  sitting  well  forward  so  that 
all  might  see  and  admire,  when  it  so  happened  he 
passed  two  friends  walking.  One,  I  think,  was  a 
little  jealous  of  him  and  said  to  his  companion, 
''Bless  my  soul!  do  look  at  that  man,  I'll  take  a 
hundred  pounds  to  a  shilling  one  day  he  is  King  of 
England!" 

''Give  me  your  shilling,"  the  friend  replied. 
Weeks  and  months  rolled  by  and  no  further  men- 
tion was  made  of  the  bet:  but  one  morning  there 
appeared  in  The  Daily  Telegraph  an  announcement 
that  "Sir  Augustus  Harris  arrived  last  night  at 
Windsor  Castle,  and  has  taken  possession  of  the 
Waterloo  Chamber."  This  was  cut  out  and  for- 
warded to  the  man  who  had  accepted  the  shilling 


Sir  Augustus  Harris 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS         in 

and  written  underneath  it,  "You  know  your  bet,  I 
told  you  at  the  time  you  were  a  fool  to  lay  me  such 
odds.  After  reading  this  surely  you  want  to  hedge 
or  give  me  my  shilling  back." 

Of  course  the  true  story  was  the  Drury  Lane 
proprietor  had  arrived  at  the  Castle  with  his  stage 
manager  to  give  a  performance  there  which  had 
been  commanded  by  the  Queen  (Victoria).  I 
rather  think  Sir  Augustus  Harris  was  the  first  of 
the  Drury  Lane  people  to  be  honoured  with  a  Royal 
command. 

The  knighthood  was  conferred  on  him  for  his 
civic  connection  with  the  City  of  London.  I  do  not 
think  we  had  any  theatrical  knights  until  King 
Edward  VII  came  to  the  throne  and  placed  the 
sword  over  Sir  Henry  Irving.  The  year  Sir  Au- 
gustus Harris  was  Sheriff  was  voted  the  best  Lord 
Mayor's  show  ever  seen. 

I  am  under  the  impression,  but  by  no  means  sure, 
that  Sir  Augustus  was  one  of  the  original  members 
of  the  Savage  Club  when  it  was  started  in  a  saw- 
dusty  sort  of  back-parlour  in  the  neighborhood  of 
Drury  Lane. 

Those  were  days  when  the  best  actors,  or  per- 
haps I  should  say  the  most  exalted,  frequented 
what  some  called  "pubs,"  others  "taverns":  there 
were  no  clubs  such  as  the  present  generation  have 
to  shelter  them. 

The  Garrick  then  stood  out  alone,  with  its  own 
sacred  precincts  and  halo  which  few  could  surpass 
or  assume. 


112         FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

When  speaking  of  this  time  at  the  Garrick  a 
friend  once  said  to  me,  "Actors  have  great  pride, 
swank,  jealousy,  envy  and  malice,  perhaps  un- 
known to  any  other  profession."  Possibly  that  is 
so. 

Sir  Augustus  worked  very  hard  at  anything  he 
undertook,  sparing  neither  money  nor  trouble  in 
staging  his  plays  well.  He  was  wise  enough  to  get 
experts  to  criticise  at  his  rehearsals  when  putting 
on  anything  requiring  precise  detail.  A  friend  of 
mine  once  saved  him  from  making  a  mistake  that 
would  have  been  an  everlasting  source  of  regret 
and  annoyance  to  him.  Sir  Augustus  was  about  to 
produce  a  great  racing  drama  and  asked  my  friend, 
who  was  a  great  racing  man,  if  he  would  go  to  the 
final  dress-rehearsal  and  tell  him  if  all  the  details 
were  quite  correct  and  to  be  good  enough  to  criti- 
cise severely. 

It  is  well  his  advice  was  sought,  for  there  was  a 
weighing-room  scene  in  which  many  details  were 
ludicrously  wrong.  When  the  performance  was 
over  and  Sir  Augustus  asked  if  all  were  correct 
and  it  was  pointed  out  to  him  that  it  was  not 
correct  for  jockeys  to  be  weighing  themselves  out 
without  either  trainer  or  owner  being  present,  while 
the  clerk  of  the  scales,  who  was  mounted  on  a  verv 
high  stool  in  front  of  a  desk  like  a  schoolmaster, 
should  be  sitting  at  a  writing-table  close  beside  the 
scales  with  a  notebook  in  which  he  should  be  enter- 
ing the  details. 

But  for  this  kindly  criticism  at  the  eleventh  hour 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS  113 

the  scene  might  have  shared  the  fate  of  Artemus 
Ward's  famous  panorama  when  presented  to  the 
audience  for  their  admiration  and  they  forcibly- 
explained  they  did  not  think  much  of  moonHght 
scenes  without  a  moon,  which  had  unfortunately 
been  forgotten.  In  consequence  some  rude  mem- 
bers of  the  audience  threw  chairs  and  ginger-beer 
bottles  at  the  moonlit  but  moonless  scene. 

Sir  Augustus  soon  corrected  his  mistakes  and 
all  went  well,  the  play  having  a  great  success. 

Theatrical  people  live  in  a  world  entirely  their 
own,  it  is  a  wonderful  life  behind  the  scenes.  One 
of  the  chorus  girls  at  Drury  Lane  once  said  when 
at  work  she  earned  two  pounds  a  week,  but  often 
had  nothing  to  take  at  the  end  of  it,  as  her  fines 
for  being  late  or  for  non-attendance  often  mounted 
to  more  than  her  salary.  She  hailed  from  the  Antip- 
odes and  said  that  when  there  she  was  known  as 
the  Australian  prima  donna,  but  at  Drury  Lane 
she  never  got  beyond  the  chorus  and  payment  or. 
her  part  for  non-attendance. 

Naturally  prima  donna  airs  would  not  go  down 
in  the  chorus. 

Sir  Augustus'  sarcasms  were  at  times  biting,  but 
he  was  a  staunch  friend,  and  when  Oscar  Wilde 
was  in  trouble  he  was  one  of  the  first  to  appear  to 
stand  bail  for  his  friend.  In  consequence  of  this 
kindly  act  he  had  the  annoyance  of  seeing  in  the 
papers  the  following  morning  that  one  of  Mr. 
Wilde's  greatest  friends.  Sir  Augustus  Harris,  ap- 
peared to  go  bail  for  him.     Poor  Gus,  as  I  have 


114         FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

heard  his  friends  call  him,  was  mad  with  rage  and 
some  one  described  him  to  me  as  rushing  about 
foaming  at  the  mouth,  and  with  the  wings  of  his 
Inverness  cape  flying  out  behind  him  like  some  big 
angry  bird. 

Now  I  have  come  to  the  great  Joseph  Chamber- 
lain, who  looked  out  upon  the  world  in  amused 
complacency,  no  matter  how  heated  people  became 
in  argument  with  him.  The  past  held  no  attrac- 
tions for  him,  the  future  was  always  before  him 
written  large  across  his  brain.  I  think  few  people 
have  had  so  many  friends,  quarrelled  with  them 
so  often,  and  made  it  up  again  as  the  great  "Joe." 
With  Sir  William  Harcourt,  for  instance,  Mr. 
Morley,  Count  von  Bulow,  even  at  one  time  with 
the  Duke  of  Devonshire,  with  whom  he  served  in 
both  Liberal  and  Unionist  Cabinets  (the  former 
from  1880  to  1885,  the  latter  1895  to  1903).  I  am 
sorry  to  say  there  were  times  when  he  was  not 
always  very  courteous  to  those  who  differed  with 
him  in  politics,  being  rather  intolerant.  Only  his 
own  particular  views  could  be  right. 

Again,  few  men  have  played  so  many  parts  as 
the  almost  self-educated  business  man  from  Bir- 
mingham, and  few  men  have  had  such  an  aggra- 
vating manner  at  times;  he  seemed  able  to  sting 
people  into  frenzy  while  keeping  perfectly  cool 
himself.  He  loved  argument  and  was  an  agreeable 
conversationalist,  at  least  so  I  thought,  but  of 
course  I  bowed  before  his  superior  wisdom. 

We  all  know  that  what  he  denounced  with  fer- 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS  115 

vour  at  one  time  he  pleaded  with  vigour  at  another ; 
personally  I  see  nothing  wrong  or  perfidious  in  a 
man  changing  his  opinions,  rather  do  I  think  it  a 
sign  of  a  strong  character  to  have  the  pluck  to  stand 
up  and  say,  'T  have  changed  my  mind,"  in  a  world 
where  the  one  immutable  law  is  change.  We  must 
realise  that  what  was  true  once  need  not  be  true 
always,  and  circumstances  alter  cases. 

That  he  was  a  wrecker  of  two  parties  has  often 
been  quoted  against  Joseph  Chamberlain,  but  there 
again  I  see  something  to  admire,  it  surely  proved 
party  feeling  had  nothing  to  do  with  his  line  of 
conduct,  but  the  good  of  his  country,  progress,  and 
the  bettering  of  the  lives  of  the  working  classes. 
He  cared  not  which  side  he  belonged  to  so  long  as 
he  was  at  one  with  them  on  these  points.  He  was 
a  man  with  the  instinct  of  politics;  his  hobby 
was  the  House  of  Commons,  which  however  he 
often  defied. 

I  remember  Mr.  Chamberlain  prophesying  years 
ago  the  coming  of  the  paid  professional  politician, 
and  now  they  are  here.  There  is  no  doubt  he  got 
on  his  colleagues'  nerves  at  times,  and  once  Mr. 
Balfour  in  well-chosen  words  reproved  him,  saying 
that  he  (Mr.  Chamberlain)  remembered  too  much 
that  they  belonged  to  different  parties,  but  seemed 
to  forget  that  they  belonged  to  the  same  country. 

Mr.  Chamberlain  was  fond  of  children,  and  told 
me  he  was  glad  his  bairns  had  not  been  as  tiresome 
as  he  was  when  a  youth,  confessing  he  had  been 


ii6         FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

very  troublesome,  keeping  his  people  in  an  agony 
of  mind  as  to  what  he  would  do  next. 

I  do  not  know  if  the  following  story  was  of  a 
member  of  his  own  family,  but  it  is  one  he  was  fond 
of  telling.  It  was  of  a  child  with  a  thirst  for  knowl- 
edge who  kept  asking  his  mother  theological  and 
natural  history  posers.  First  he  wished  to  know 
who  made  flies  ?  then,  who  made  grown-up  people  ? 
and  so  on.  To  each  question  the  child's  mother 
replied,  **God  did;  He  made  everything."  There 
was  a  pause,  presently  the  child  said,  ''Does  God 
make  rice  pudding?"  Fairly  driven  into  a  corner 
his  mother  replied,  "Yes."  "Then  I  wish  He  would 
eat  it,"  replied  this  precocious  little  person. 

Once  long  ago  when  Mr.  Chamberlain  and  I  were 
choosing  children's  Christmas  presents  in  Rose's 
toy  shop  in  Sloane  Street,  I  noticed  that  nothing 
attracted  his  attention  but  m.echanical  toys;  he 
walked  about  winding  up  everything  he  could  find, 
from  jumping  frogs  to  "puffer-trains,"  until  he  so 
seriously  over-wound  an  engine  that  after  a  false 
start  it  declined  any  further  action.  I  was  inter- 
ested to  see  what  he  would  do,  especially  as  an 
elderly  spinster  belonging  to  the  shop  was  watching 
his  proceedings.  He  said,  "I  should  like  to  have 
bought  this  thing,  but  it  won't  work!"  "Indeed, 
sir,"  from  the  attendant  in  accents  of  surprise 
(having  witnessed  the  trial  trip),  "I  have  another 
just  like  it."  Mr.  Chamberlain  then  said,  "Oh,  I'll 
buy  this  one  if  you'll  put  it  right,"  and  so  the  mat- 
ter ended.     Having  already  collected  a  large  pile 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS  117 

of  things  he  wished  to  buy  for  various  children, 
some  for  little  Dudleys,  some  for  little  sick  folk  in 
Birmingham,  I  suppose  to  over-wind  one  engine 
was  looked  upon  as  of  no  consequence.  I  noticed 
he  did  not  ask  the  price  of  anything,  though  he 
examined  them  carefully  all  over  before  deciding, 
so  perhaps  he  could  read  some  of  the  hieroglyphics 
with  which  everything  was  marked,  but  which  was 
double  Dutch  to  me.  Happy  thought !  perhaps  the 
toys  had  come  originally  from  Birmingham  where 
the  hieroglyphics  had  been  invented. 

I  think  Mr.  Chamberlain's  most  charming  attri- 
bute was  his  devotion  to  his  family,  he  simply 
adored  them  and  they  him ;  it  was  very  picturesque 
and  real.  This  devotion  was  illustrated  clearly 
when  Mr.  Austen  Chamberlain  made  his  first 
Budget  speech.  The  strain  on  his  father  was  acute, 
and  when  the  youthful  orator  struck  an  attitude 
and  also  unhappily  the  inkstand  which  at  once  re- 
sponded by  emptying  itself  on  his  notes,  the  lion- 
hearted  father  had  to  put  his  hand  over  his  eyes, 
where  it  remained  until  the  oration  had  been 
brought  more  or  less  happily  to  its  finale ! 

Many  people  will  remember  the  dainty  dancing 
of  Letty  Lind  and  her  little  pipe  of  a  voice  singing 
something  about  ''Oh !  Marguerite,  I  love  thee  and 
adore  thee."  I  happened  to  know  a  good  deal  of 
her  history;  she  was  an  engaging  little  person,  not 
pretty  but  with  a  natural  gentle  and  pleasing 
manner. 

I  was  one  day  in  a  bonnet  shop  of  one  of  the 


ii8         FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

fashionable  ladies  who  were  running  millinery 
establishments,  when  Lettie  Lind  came  in  carrying 
a  large  canvas  bag.  "I  have  just  got  my  wages  and 
came  to  pay  my  bill,"  she  said.  ''Help  yourselves" 
(throwing  it  on  the  sofa),  "but  don't  take  it  all, 
there  are  several  others  anxiously  waiting  for  some 
of  it."  While  one  of  the  assistants  helped  herself, 
that  is  to  say,  looked  up  what  was  owing  and  took 
the  amount  and  wrote  out  a  receipt,  Letty  Lind  tried 
on  a  variety  of  head  gear,  saying,  "I  want  some- 
thing very  quiet  or  my  young  man  won't  take  me 
out  with  him,"  and  she  put  her  head  on  one  side 
with  a  merry  little  laugh,  for  we  knew  all  about  it. 
When  the  receipt  was  handed  to  her,  she  said, 
^'Shove  it  into  the  bag,  please,  and  tie  it  up,  will 
you?"  Having  selected  all  she  required  and  sought 
my  advice  as  to  what  would  be  most  suitable,  she 
picked  up  her  money  bag  and  with  a  cheery  nod 
to  us  all  walked  out,  never  having  counted  what 
was  left  of  her  wages,  or  troubled  about  the  matter 
in  the  smallest  degree. 

Marion  Hood  was  another  *'Gaiety-girl,"  much 
admired  by  a  masculine  member  of  my  family  who 
asked  me  if  I  would  let  him  bring  her  to  see  me. 
He  wanted  me  to  know  how  really  nice  she  was, 
and  that  her  beautiful  golden  hair  was  "not 
painted!"  This  struck  me  as  a  trifle  original.  Her 
voice  also  was  not  a  strong  one,  very  different  from 
the  voices  of  Violet  Cameron  and  Florence  St. 
John,  but  Marion  Hood  was  certainly  pretty. 

Those  responsible  for  my  bringing  up  thought 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS         119 

actors  and  actresses  improper  people.  Not  until  I 
was  married  did  I  have  the  pleasure  of  seeing  any 
play  other  than  Shakespearian.  A  ballet  I  had 
never  seen,  the  very  word  made  my  mother's  face 
lengthen,  while  my  father  shook  his  head,  his  eyes 
twinkling  as  he  laughed  happily  to  himself  at  the 
memories  the  word  recalled.  In  his  young  days  he 
was  a  great  deal  in  town  and,  being  both  handsome 
and  witty,  was  made  a  good  deal  of,  seeing  life  in 
all  its  phases. 

It  must  have  been  somewhere  about  1880  that  I 
saw  my  first  ballet  at  the  Alhambra.  I  was  pre- 
pared for  shocking  sights,  I  did  not  quite  know 
what,  but  felt  very  advanced  and  delightfully 
wicked.  What  I  really  saw  was  a  stage  full  of 
darling  little  children  dressed  in  nightgowns  which 
they  held  daintily  up  here  and  there,  just  enough  to 
show  pretty  little  pink  toes  and  ankles  while  they 
danced  about  with  white  puffs  in  their  hands,  puff- 
ing their  own  and  each  other's  faces  and  necks. 

It  was  one  of  the  prettiest  scenes  I  can  remem- 
ber, and  the  children  looked  as  if  they  enjoyed  it 
almost  as  much  as  we  did.  Then  I  remember  what 
I  believe  is  unusual,  namely  the  ballet  mistress 
being  called  for,  and  a  grumpy-looking  woman  in 
a  black  dress  with  a  little  cane  in  her  hand  came 
and  made  stiff  little  bows  to  us.  I  daresay  she  was 
feeling  very  pleased  at  the  success  of  her  teaching, 
but  I  think  she  was  possibly  one  of  those  people  who 
find  it  painful  to  smile,  and  after  all  what  did  it 


120         FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

matter  so  long  as  she  was  pleased  in  her  heart, 
which  I  hope  she  was. 

After  this  I  was  quite  determined  to  see  more  of 
life  and  the  things  supposed  to  be  so  wicked.  I  told 
my  husband  I  wanted  to  go  to  the  celebrated  Evans' 
at  Covent  Garden,  which  I  understood  was  a  frisky 
and  reprehensible  club,  being  quite  prepared  to  see 
again  some  lovely  show  perhaps  after  the  fashion 
of  the  ballet. 

My  husband,  after  much  persuasion,  promised 
to  take  me  if  I  would  wear  many  thick  veils,  as  he 
said  he  would  not  like  anybody  to  recognise  me,  so 
tied  up  in  gauze  veils  I  went  and  we  sat  in  a  box, 
which  I  found  exceedingly  dull  and  uninteresting. 
We  came  away  again  having  seen  nothing  more 
wicked  than  a  few  dull-looking  people  walking 
about  talking  to  one  another  and  drinking  coffee, 
etc.,  while  a  band  played. 

But  I  was  in  good  company  at  any  rate,  for  the 
Prince  of  Wales  was  in  the  box  next  to  us  with 
Lady  Molesworth  (widow  of  Sir  William  Moles- 
worth  of  Pencarrow),  who  had  at  one  time  trun- 
dled an  organ  through  the  streets  of  London,  be- 
fore Mr.  Temple  Weston  met  and  married  her. 
She  married  again.  Sir  William  Molesworth  being 
her  second  husband.  She  was  a  fascinating  woman 
and  became  most  popular  with  Kings  and  Queens. 

It  was  really  rather  disappointing  that  the  wicked 
world  I  had  heard  so  much  about  should  be  so 
tame,  and  came  to  the  conclusion  people  must  have 
unpleasant  minds  i£  they  saw  harm  in  such  pretty 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS         121 

things  as  ballets  and  such  dull  things  as  Evans's 
Club,  which  is  now  no  more.  I  soon  found  the 
dances  and  tragedies  being  played  around  me  daily- 
were  much  more  surprising  than  anything  I  could 
find  on  the  stage. 

It  has  always  been  rather  on  my  conscience 
having  brought  up  to  town  one  season  a  young  and 
unsophisticated  butler  unversed  in  the  ways  of  the 
world.  My  sister  and  I  were  renting  a  house  in 
Cadogan  Place  for  a  few  months  from  a  very 
pretty  widow.  It  was  not  long  before  we  had  mis- 
givings as  to  the  wisdom  of  having  brought  up  the 
young  man,  as  he  displayed  so  much  concern  and 
appeared  so  shocked  at  anything  to  which  he  was 
unaccustomed. 

One  day  he  came  with  a  white  scared  face  and 
presented  us  with  a  blue  document  which  he  said 
a  rude  man  had  shoved  into  his  hand  at  the  front 
door  and  then  ran  away.  He  did  not  know  what  to 
do  and  sought  our  advice.  On  examination  it 
proved  to  be  a  writ  for  the  payment  of  a  tombstone 
for  our  landlady's  husband  who  had  been  dead 
some  eight  years. 

Never  having  seen  anything  of  the  kind  before 
he  was  greatly  moved  and  distressed,  being  con- 
vinced he  was  going  to  be  thrown  into  prison  for 
debt.  It  was  most  unjust  and  he  did  not  think 
much  of  London  ways ! 


CHAPTER  VI 

A  Long- forgotten  Law  Case — An  Anomalous  Finding — A 
Mock  Marriage — Ruin — The  Attitude  of  the  Church — 
Reparation,  Too  Late — Sudden  Death  and  a  Suicide — 
Lord  Cathcart  goes  Lame,  Explains  the  Reason — Lord 
Greenock  admires  the  Fair  Sex — Lady  Sykes'  Peculiari- 
ties— Contretemps  at  a  Dinner  Party — She  Drives  White 
Donkeys  Tandem — Sir  Tatten  Sykes  and  His  Great- 
coats— Mr.  Glynn  Vivian  objects  to  Coloured  Grasses 
and  Locks  Up  the  Silver — Lady  Caroline  M  addon  and 
Her  Daughter — A  Search  for  Eligible  Young  Men — 
An  After-Dinner  Recitation. 

IT  may  be  supposed  that  all  my  remembrances 
are  of  a  frivolous  order,  far  from  it.  I  have 
been  entrusted  with  some  desperately  tragic 
secrets,  which  are  still  locked  up  in  my  memory 
amongst  other  negatives  turned  with  their  faces 
to  the  wall,  which  will  go  down  to  the  grave  with 
me  still  locked  up  and  with  their  faces  to  the  wall. 
I  have  witnessed  heart-breaking  scenes  and  taken 
part  in  a  drama  or  two,  but  I  am  trying  to  avoid 
anything  sad  in  this  book,  for  surely  the  world  is 
sad  enough  at  present  without  my  pen  piling  on 
the  agony — as  indeed  it  could  if  I  were  to  write  of 
all  I  remember. 

But  there  is  one  case  I  feel  I  must  refer  to,  which 
caused  a  tremendous  sensation  in  the  early  eighties. 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS         123 

It  seemed  to  interest  the  whole  civilised  world, 
special  editions  of  certain  newspapers  came  out 
with  nothing  else  but  news  of  the  case;  yet  when  I 
asked  a  number  of  people  to  help  me  to  remember 
certain  dates  in  connection  with  it,  nobody  remem- 
bered anything  about  the  tragedy.  A  few  certainly 
allowed  that  they  thought  they  did  dimly  remember 
hearing  of  it;  one  to  whom  I  referred  being  a  dis- 
tinguished journalist,  whom  one  expected  would  be 
certain  to  remember  the  affair  minutely. 

I  refer  to  the  Langworthy  case.  Sensational 
trials  are  apparently  very  short  lived  in  the  public 
memory.  Perhaps  because  they  seldom  have  his- 
torical significance,  although  so  full  of  human  in- 
terest. The  Tichborne  trial  seems  to  be  one  of  the 
few  exceptions,  for  it  is  still  a  name  if  nothing 
more,  although  at  the  time  sons  quarrelled  with 
fathers  and  homes  were  divided  against  themselves 
in  the  fury  of  partisanship,  almost  comparable  with 
that  in  American  homes  during  the  Civil  War. 

The  Langworthy  case  was  remarkable  chiefly  as 
a  record  of  villainy  that  to  my  mind  seems  almost 
unique,  and  leaves  one  dumbly  wondering  at  the 
dark  possibilities  of  cruelty  that  lie  in  the  human 
heart. 

It  also  shows  the  apparently  anomalous  case  of  a 
woman  who  first  obtained  a  decree  nisi  with  £1500 
a  year  alimony  from  the  Courts  and  subsequently 
£20,000  for  breach  of  promise  of  marriage  against 
the  same  man.    The  law  is  a  wonderful  institution. 

The  way  I  came  to  know  so  much  about  the  case 


124         FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

was  through  being  asked  by  Dr.  Godson,  the  great 
ladies'  doctor  of  those  days,  if  I  would  go  and  see  a 
patient  of  his  who  was  in  great  trouble  and  ill- 
health  as  well  as  practically  penniless. 

Of  course  I  went,  and  from  Mrs.  Langworthy's 
own  lip^  heard  her  pitiful  story,  which  as  it  appears 
to  have  been  entirely  forgotton,  I  relate  briefly. 

The  Mrs.  Langworthy  of  the  case  had  been  a 
Miss  Long,  the  daughter  of  well-to-do  people  in 
Ireland,  her  father  being  estate  agent  at  one  time 
to  the  Marquess  of  Downshire  and  later  to  Lord 
O'Neile. 

She  was  a  tall,  handsome  girl  and  gifted,  as  was 
proved  by  her  passing  in  1873  ^s  one  of  the  senior 
candidates  at  the  Dublin  University,  taking  hon- 
ours in  French,  Latin,  Euclid  and  Algebra. 

Her  composition  on  English  literature  was 
chosen  as  good  enough  to  be  read  aloud  by  Profes- 
sor Dowden.  Fired  with  her  success  she  then  went 
to  Cambridge,  where  she  shone  in  Latin,  Divinity, 
etc. 

About  th'is  time  her  father  lost  most  of  his 
money,  and  Miss  Long  decided  she  would  cost  him 
nothing  more  and  went  out  as  governess.  During 
a  visit  to  Paris  with  her  brother,  who  was  staying 
at  that  comfortable  old-fashioned  Hotel  Bedford, 
she  met  the  man  who  was  to  ruin  her  life,  namely, 
the  exceedingly  rich  and  not  ill-looking  Mr.  Lang- 
worthy,  with  great  estates  in  South  America,  a 
magnificently  appointed  yacht,  French  chef  and  all 
the  luxuries  and  comforts  which  usually  surround 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS  125 

men  with  large  fortunes.  At  the  time  he  became 
enamoured  of  Miss  Long  he  was  a  widower.  His 
first  wife,  Lady  Alice,  sister  of  the  second  or  third 
Earl  of  Limerick,  died  at  sea  in  1876,  under  what 
circumstances  I  do  not  know. 

Mr.  Langworthy  proved  a  devoted  if  somewhat 
dictatorial  lover,  and  an  engagement  quickly  fol- 
lowed on  their  first  meeting,  but  Miss  Long  was 
told  under  no  circumstances  must  his  mother  know 
anything  about  it  as  she  might  disinherit  him;  the 
engagement  must  be  a  secret. 

During  this  time  he  persuaded  Miss  Long  to  go 
for  a  little  cruise  in  his  yacht,  having  provided  a 
suitable  ballast  of  chaperonage.  They  stayed  at 
Cherbourg  for  a  day  or  two,  and  while  there  he 
introduced  his  fiancee  to  a  number  of  people,  in- 
cluding the  Hon.  Cecil  Cadogan,  Mr.  Dennison  and 
others.  While  at  Cowes  Mr.  and  Mrs.  Vereker 
invited  them  to  dinner.  All  was  comfortable  and 
plain  sailing.  One  day  Mr.  Langworthy  while  at 
Cherbourg  asked  Miss  Long  to  go  for  a  drive  with 
him  to  Caen ;  they  looked  at  the  cathedral  and  then 
taking  both  her  hands  said,  'T  want  you  to  marry 
me  at  once;  I  cannot  wait  any  longer  for  you  and 
have  arranged  everything."  She  was  entirely 
taken  by  surprise  and  objected.  While  he  pleaded 
she  turned  over  in  her  mind  all  the  circumstances, 
and  feeling  there  could  be  nothing  but  love  to  influ- 
ence him,  as  she  was  penniless  except  for  her  own 
earnings,  consented,  knowing  nothing  about  French 
marriage  law. 


126         FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

The  carriage  was  told  to  stop  before  a  Catholic 
Church  some  miles  out  in  the  country  from  Caen. 
Here  awaited  them  (all  having  evidently  been 
arranged)  a  priest  in  a  black  cassock  and  a  fat, 
disagreeable  smile,  who  read  some  sort  of  a  service 
in  Latin.  As  a  matter  of  fact  the  whole  thing  was 
a  fraud;  seemingly  such  things  can  be  arranged 
where  money  and  villainy  are  not  wanting.  There 
were  many  interesting  features  in  the  story  at  this 
time,  much  too  lengthy  and  complicated  to  relate 
here,  but  various  thoughts  came  to  her  mind  mak- 
ing Miss  Long  doubtful  about  the  legality  of  this 
marriage  ceremony,  and  suggesting  that  she  would 
be  happier  with  a  second  ceremony. 

Mr.  Langworthy,  having  had  the  legal  training 
of  a  barrister,  knew  how  to  turn  his  knowledge  to 
account,  said,  certainly  if  she  wanted  another  cere- 
mony she  should  have  one.  This  time  the  chaplain 
of  the  American  Seaman's  Mission  at  Antwerp 
performed  it,  the  divine's  name  being  the  Rev.  Doc- 
tor Potts,  a  member  of  the  Presbyterian  Church. 

What  Mr.  Langworthy  knew  and  his  unfortu- 
nate dupe  did  not  know  was  that  only  civil  mar- 
riages are  valid  in  Belgian  law. 

However,  in  all  good  faith  she  had  taken  part  in 
two  ceremonies,  the  one  near  Caen  in  September, 
1882,  the  second  in  January,  1883,  ^^  Antwerp. 
After  this  latter  Mr.  Potts  entered  the  following  in 
his  register: — 

''Antwerp,  January  loth,  1883. — Edward  Lang- 
worthy, England,  widower,  35  years  old.    Mildred 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS         127 

Pallise  Long,  Belfast  (Ireland),  maiden,  27  years 
old.    Marriage  ceremony  by  Rev.  Arthur  Potts." 

This  was  duly  signed  by  the  witnesses,  one  being 
Mrs.  Potts,  the  other  a  Mrs.  Bailey,  whom  I  think 
was  acting  companion,  chaperon  or  something  of 
the  kind,  I  have  forgotten  what. 

A  copy  of  the  certificate  was  handed  to  Mrs. 
Langworthy,  but  it  was  taken  away  by  her  hus- 
band, who  said  he  would  send  it  to  his  solicitors 
for  safe  keeping,  and  he  would  mark  it  private  and 
important.  He  then  made  his  wife  promise  to  keep 
the  marriage  secret  for  a  year  as  he  did  not  wish 
his  mother  to  know  anything  about  it, 

A  happy  time  followed  in  the  yacht;  Mr.  Lang- 
worthy  seemed  to  be  deeply  in  love  with  his  wife; 
it  was  all  glorious  and  the  days  chased  each  other 
like  some  love  poems  under  sunny  skies 

They  stayed  a  few  days  at  Lisbon,  where  Mr. 
Langworthy  introduced  his  wife  to  Lady  Ashton, 
Lord  Francis  Cecil  and  others  (this  is  a  point  to 
bear  in  mind). 

From  Lisbon,  if  I  remember  correctly,  they  sailed 
for  Buenos  Ayres,  where  Mr.  Langworthy  owned 
property.  During  the  voyage  his  wife  told  him  she 
expected  to  become  a  mother.  From  this  moment 
his  manner  entirely  changed  and,  instead  of  ex- 
pressing pleasure,  exclaimed,  "We  must  put  the 
little  beast  out  to  nurse."  By  degrees  he  now  be- 
came so  brutal  it  was  forced  upon  her  he  was 
hoping  his  treatment,  drugs  and  starvation,  would 
kill  the  child,  and  possibly  the  mother  also. 


128         FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

Driven  nearly  mad  by  his  treatment,  one  evening 
she  got  out  of  her  bed  and  went  in  search  of  her 
husband,  threw  her  arms  round  him  and  implored 
him  to  say  why  he  had  so  changed.  He  then  told 
her  not  to  make  a  fool  of  herself,  she  knew  per- 
fectly well  she  was  not  his  wife  and  the  child  would 
be  illegitimate,  and  as  this  had  happened  she  must 
leave  the  yacht  on  reaching  Buenos  Ayres  and  go 
home  again  at  once;  if  the  affair  became  known  it 
would  be  his  ruin. 

Without  allowing  her  to  land  at  their  destination, 
he  put  her  on  board  a  French  tramp  steamer  with- 
out a  deck  house,  that  having  been  washed  away 
on  its  last  voyage,  and  of  course  without  either  a 
doctor  or  stewardess. 

Mrs.  Langworthy  begged  for  some  baby  clothes, 
and  was  given  a  box  containing  a  few  yards  of 
flannel  and  calico,  and  £50  in  her  pocket  and  sent 
off  home! 

So  back  to  England  she  came  full  of  misery  and 
shame  with  nothing  to  prove  the  story  she  had  to 
tell  but  her  wedding  ring  and  the  baby.  Her  pride 
would  not  let  hdr  seek  her  people,  whom  she  knew 
would  wish  to  help  her  but  could  not  afford  it.  To 
use  Mrs.  Langworthy's  own  words  to  me,  "When 
I  first  arrived  I  tramped  London  trying  to  find 
some  clergyman  to  take  up  my  case  for  me  and  see 
me  righted ;  I  could  get  help  from  none.  One  told 
me  he  had  heard  stories  like  that  before  and  was 
sorry  he  could  do  nothing  for  me."  Another,  living 
in  some  state  in  Grosvenor  Square,  who  preached 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS         129 

•regularly  in  a  fashionable  chapel  not  far  from 
Berkeley  and  Grosvenor  Squares,  was  sitting  one 
evening  after  dinner  before  a  comfortable  fire  sip- 
ping coffee  from  delicate  china  and  toying  with  a 
gold  spoon,  surrounded  by  expensive  fur  rugs, 
books  and  comforts  of  all  sorts,  when  Mrs.  Lang- 
worthy  sought  his  help  and  told  her  story.  He  did 
not  rise  from  his  chair  while  the  poor  woman 
poured  forth  her  tale  and  implored  him  to  help 
her.  It  was  a  wet  night  and  she  was  wet  through, 
having  tramped  the  streets  all  day  in  hopes  of  find- 
ing some  one  to  help  her,  her  boots  were  worn 
through  in  places  and  her  teeth  chattered  from  cold 
and  want  of  food. 

She  eventually  was  told  he  did  not  believe  a  word 
of  her  story,  it  was  too  impossible,  but  if  it  was 
true  she  must  ''Have  faith." 

Poor  soul !  she  asked  how  that  was  going  to  find 
food  for  her  child  and  herself  and  turned  bitterly 
away.  She  described  to  me  her  despair  as  she  once 
more  walked  along  the  wet  pavements  and  medi- 
tated drowning  herself  and  her  child.  Passing 
down  Conduit  Street  she  noticed  a  brass  plate  on 
a  door  with  the  name  of  Lumley  and  Lumley,  so- 
licitors, printed  on  it,  she  had  not  tried  them,  but 
would  do  so  first  thing  next  morning.  She  had 
already  tried  several  solicitors,  but  she  was  desti- 
tute, friendless,  broken  in  health,  the  law  and  the 
Church  refused  to  help  her,  justice  was  her  only 
weapon,  while  the  whole  force  of  the  Langworthy's 


I30         FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

immense  wealth  was  thrown  into  the  scale  against 
her. 

The  treatment  meted  out  to  her  by  the  Anglican 
divines  is  a  black  and  lasting  disgrace  to  their 
Church  and  the  system  that  produced  them. 

Her  husband's  relations  would  not  listen  to  her, 
and  this  is  the  plight  she  was  in  when  she  entered 
the  offices  of  Messrs.  Lumley  and  Lumley  in  Con- 
duit Street.  They  listened  to  her  story,  gave  her 
money  to  go  on  with,  took  the  trouble  to  collect  the 
necessary  evidence  to  prove  the  ceremonies  that 
had  taken  place  and  undertook  to  fight  the  case  for 
her.  Magnificently  they  did  it  through  all  the 
courts  for  four  years.  Mr.  Robert  Lumley  I  do  not 
remember  meeting,  but  Mr.  Theodore  Lumley  I  am 
glad  to  have  known,  for  he  did  for  this  defenceless, 
broken-hearted  woman  what  not  one  single  shep- 
herd of  Christ's  flock  would  do. 

Another  revolting  feature  about  the  treatment 
from  which  this  unhappy  woman  suffered,  was  the 
attitude  of  her  own  sex,  the  lodging-house  woman 
where  she  lodged  turned  her  out  on  hearing  she  was 
not  living  with  her  husband!  Others  treated  her 
as  if  she  was  one  of  the  lowest  of  those  who  walk 
the  streets  for  their  living.  Even  had  that  been  the 
case,  they  should  have  shown  some  humanity  to  a 
suffering  sister. 

I  did  what  I  could  for  her,  and  by  degrees  one 
after  another  helped  her;  but  that  she  got  justice 
in  the  end  and  her  life  made  possible  during  the 
long  years  while  the  case  was  in  the  courts  is  en- 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS  131 

tirely  due  to  Messrs.  Lumley  and  Lumley,  the  so- 
licitors, and  to  The  Pall  Mall  Gazette,  who  took  her 
case  up  warmly,  collected  money  for  her,  published 
special  editions  of  their  paper  with  all  the  details 
of  the  case  as  it  unfolded  itself  from  day  to  day. 
They  also  brought  out  a  little  booklet  or  pamphlet, 
entitled  A  Romance  of  the  Law  Courts,  Mrs.  Lang- 
worthy's  Trials  and  Triumphs.  Anyone  wishing  to 
read  all  the  particulars  of  this  extraordinary  case 
cannot  do  better  than  get  a  copy  and  read  it,  if 
there  are  any  now  to  be  had. 

Mrs.  Langworthy's  troubles  were,  however,  not 
yet  over,  though  the  learned  judges  held  her  mar- 
riage to  be  illegal,  but  a  marriage  "in  fact"  and 
granted  her  £1500  alimony.  Mr.  Langworthy  had 
fled  to  America,  refused  to  pay  and  was  nowhere 
to  be  found. 

His  solicitors  and  counsel  worked  indefatigably 
to  delay  any  steps  taken  by  Mrs.  Langworthy's 
solicitors  to  obtain  the  money  for  her. 

The  husband's  wealth  was  a  terrible  weapon.  I 
have  been  told  great  London  papers  even  refused, 
through  the  influence  of  Mr.  Langworthy's  agents, 
to  insert  her  lines  in  their  agony  columns. 

Goods  of  his,  seized  to  pay  his  debts  to  his  wife, 
were  instantly  claimed  by  his  mother  as  her  prop- 
erty and  therefore  inviolate.  While  all  this  was 
taking  place  Mrs.  Langworthy  was  often  in  great 
need,  and  but  for  the  kindly  help  of  The  Pall  Mall 
Gazette  and  Messrs.  Lumley  and  Lumley  would 
surely  have  gone  mad. 


132         FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

Twenty  thousand  pounds  on  paper  did  not  help 
her  much.  Her  husband  was  made  a  bankrupt,  but 
he  had  made  his  English  property  over  to  his  moth- 
er. In  the  end  the  victim  triumphed,  having  fought 
hard  for  her  child,  but  there  was  no  getting  away 
from  the  fact  that  the  strain  had  told  upon  her 
considerably.  She  was  aged  and  broken  down  at 
the  end  of  the  four  years  almost  beyond  recognition. 

The  end  of  these  people  was  as  tragic  as  their 
lives.  Mrs.  Langworthy  rejoined  her  husband  and 
forgave  him,  she  died  suddenly  when  in  Paris  with 
him  and  he  committed  suicide  next  day. 

It  is  impossible  to  picture  the  state  of  a  man's 
mind  who  could  be  so  systematically  cruel  to  a 
woman  who  had  done  him  no  wrong. 

As  I  congratulated  Mrs.  Langworthy  on  her  vic- 
tory I  felt  a  lump  come  into  my  throat,  but  I  remem- 
bered her  as  she  was  when  I  first  saw  her  in  the 
early  days  of  her  trouble  and  mentally  compared 
her  with  what  she  was  after  four  years'  hard  fight- 
ing. She  had  won  the  day,  but  the  heart,  health 
and  spirit  to  enjoy  her  triumph  had  gone.  In  a 
measure  it  was  Dead  Sea  fruit. 

The  last  time  I  saw  the  poor  woman  was  when 
on  my  way  to  Scarborough,  and  she  was  going 
abroad  in  search  of  health. 

Scarborough  reminds  me  of  many  things  and 
many  people,  Worsleys,  Caleys,  Sitwells,  Londes- 
boroughs,  Cathcarts  and  many  more. 

Old  Lord  Cathcart,  the  3rd  earl,  was  a  fine-look- 
ing old  man  with  a  profusion  of  grey  hair,  a  big 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS  133 

grey  moustache  and  peculiar  grey  beard  brushed 
out  side  ways,  whisker  fashion,  with  a  funny  little 
imperial  in  the  middle,  growing  from  immediately 
under  his  lip,  very  tall,  thin  and  latterly  very  pecu- 
liar, as  was  the  fashion  in  those  days. 

Once  I  remember  meeting  him  walking  down 
Prince  of  Wales'  Terrace  going  very  lame.  I  asked 
if  it  was  gout?  He  eagerly  repudiated  the  idea, 
saying,  "No,  it  is  my  wife's  hot-water  bottle  that 
has  burnt  a  hole  in  my  foot,  and  I  am  on  my  way  to 
take  rooms  for  myself  at  the  other  side  of  the  town. 
I  shall  leave  the  whole  cussed  family  to  take  care  of 
itself!"  This  he  did  for  a  time,  taking  lodgings  at 
the  far  side  of  the  town,  but  not  having  given  no- 
tice to  his  family  of  his  intentions  there  was  a  hue 
and  cry  after  him,  but  he  was  spotted  at  last  and 
dug  out. 

He  had  married  very  early  and  was  an  elderly 
man  when  first  I  remember  him.  He  had  taken  a 
keen  interest  in  county  matters  the  greater  part  of 
his  life.  At  the  age  of  thirty  he  was  chairman  of 
the  Quarter  Sessions  and  considered  very  young 
to  hold  that  office. 

The  interests  of  the  Royal  Agricultural  Society 
occupied  much  of  his  time  and  he  was  elected 
president.  The  French  also  paid  him  the  compli- 
ment of  electing  him  to  the  Societe  des  Agriculteurs 
de  France. 

Horse-breeding  also  interested  him,  in  fact  he 
led  the  useful  healthy  life  of  the  country  squire, 


134         FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

being  one  of  the  old  school,  so  pleasant  to  meet, 
with  courteous  manners  and  kindly  heart. 

Lord  Greenock,  the  late  Lord  Cathcart,  took 
after  his  father  in  height,  but  lacked  his  good  car- 
riage, having  a  habit  of  walking  leaning  forward 
with  his  head  well  in  advance  of  his  body,  and  usu- 
ally with  his  hands  behind  his  back. 

He  was  an  admirer  of  the  fair  sex,  and  I  remem- 
ber once  at  Hurlingham,  in  the  days  when  the  pretty 
ladies  of  that  date  were  known  under  the  title  of 
"professional  beauties,"  we  had  been  watching  polo, 
and  a  number  of  these  beautiful  ladies  happened 
to  be  strolling  about.  Mrs.  Langtry,  Mrs.  Wheeler, 
Mrs.  Patrick  Campbell  and  Mrs.  Cornwallis-West 
to  wit.  The  latter  passed  us  leaning  on  her  hus- 
band's arm.  Lord  Greenock,  who  was  standing 
near,  followed  her  with  his  eyes,  and  is  reported 
to  have  said,  "Ah,  she  is  his  wife  in  this  world;  but 
she  will  be  mine  in  the  next."  It  is  well  for  our 
peace  of  mind  that  we  do  not  know  all  the  things 
we  are  supposed  to  have  said  when  young  and 
frivolous  and  just  as  well  perhaps  we  do  not  remem- 
ber all  we  have  said  in  those  long  days  ago. 

Lord  Greenock's  sister.  Lady  Cecilia,  who  mar- 
ried Captain  Rose  of  the  loth  Hussars  was  utterly 
unspoilt  and  a  wonderful  amateur  acrobat.  When 
dining  once  long  ago  with  the  Lyalls  in  Lucknow, 
I  was  sitting  on  the  sofa  talking  to  Padre  Adams, 
who  was  much  loved  by  us  all,  when  someone  said 
to  Lady  Cecilia,  *T  wish  you  would  show  us  some 
of  your  acrobatic  tricks."     She  was  sitting  on  the 


^ 


The  Third  Earl  Cathcart 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS  135 

end  of  the  same  sofa  as  we  were.  In  a  moment  she 
turned  the  neatest  somersault  over  the  back  of  the 
sofa  and  came  up  from  the  other  side  between  the 
padre's  feet  and  mine  all  smooth  and  collected  in 
an  astonishing  manner.  The  dear  padre  was  full  of 
admiration  but  a  little  breathless  over  the  surprise 
of  this  unaccustomed  drawing-room  performance. 

At  the  fall  of  the  leaf  Scarborough  was  the 
fashionable  resort  of  most  of  the  county  families, 
and  I  never  think  of  that  town,  or  York  Station, 
without  pictures  of  various  people  arising  before 
my  eyes,  one  of  whom  was  Lady  Sykes,  wife  of  Sir 
Tatten  Sykes  of  Sledmere.  They  were  a  diverting 
couple.  Lady  Sykes  was  especially  remarkable  and 
a  very  amusing  person.  Her  appearance  was  rather 
striking  owing  to  the  splendid  generosity  of  her 
figure,  accentuated  by  the  smallest  possible  waist 
in  the  middle.  This  with  her  extra-high  heels  and 
carrying  voice  helped  to  make  her  a  very  well- 
known  figure  of  that  day,  and  whatever  country 
house  you  went  to  stay  in  there  was  Lady  Sykes. 
She  was  very  amusing  and  popular. 

I  remember  once  sitting  opposite  to  her  at  dinner 
at  the  Newcomens  of  Kirkleatham  Hall,  Redcar. 
She  was  dressed  in  creamy  white  satin — I  really 
hardly  know  how  to  tell  the  rest  of  the  story — but 
the  fact  was  the  bodice  of  this  beautiful  dress  was 
not  as  ample  as  the  wearer.  I  was  very  young 
and  very  shy  in  those  days  and  felt  anxious  and 
nervous.  Several  of  the  gallant  diners  seemed  much 
struck  by  the  effect  and  a  very  young  footman  was 


136         FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

so  interested  while  standing  over  her  that  he  upset 
a  dish  of  beetroot  and  vinegar  all  over  her  shoulders 
and  dress.  It  was  all  too  terrible.  I  can  shut  my 
e3'es  now  and  see  again  the  beetroot  sliding  over 
undulations  and  remember  the  suppressed  shrieks 
of  horror  that  went  up  from  the  table.  The  look 
of  terror  on  the  footman's  face  when  he  saw  what 
he  had  done  was  tragic.  He  made  a  start  as  if  to 
retrieve  some  of  the  beetroot  but  was  chased  away 
by  the  butler. 

Mr.  Clarke- Jervoise,  who  had  taken  me  into  din- 
ner, said  if  the  accident  had  happened  to  me  I  could 
not  have  blushed  more! 

Lady  Sykes  was  quite  a  pretty  whip  and  caused 
some  sensation  one  autumn  in  London  by  driving 
a  couple  of  white  donkeys  tandem  in  a  little  gover- 
ness cart  down  Piccadilly  and  up  Bond  Street.  I 
arrived  at  the  door  of  Russell  and  Allen's  one  day 
at  the  same  time  that  she  did,  and  very  neatly  she 
reined  up  while  a  small  "tiger"  about  the  size  of  a 
postage  stamp  jumped  out  and  went  to  the  head  of 
the  leader.  This  diminutive  little  person  was  as 
well  turned  out  as  the  rest  of  the  equipage.  His 
little  legs  encased  in  well-fitting  breeches  and  the 
sweetest  thing  in  boots  twinkled  as  he  ran  to  the 
animals'  heads,  his  well-brushed  hat  and  cockade 
nearly  overbalancing  him.  It  was  all  very  smart. 
I  told  Lady  Sykes  she  would  never  dare  turn  round 
in  that  part  of  the  narrow  street  while  so  full  of 
traffic.  She  replied,  "You  wait  and  see!"  I  did, 
and  confess  it  was  a  very  masterly  performance, 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS         137 

and  when  the  small  boy  about  the  size  of  a  postage 
stamp  nipped  up  behind  and  sat  down  with  a  wump, 
folding  his  arms  across  his  manly  bosom,  almost  on 
a  level  with  his  chin,  I  could  plainly  see  he  was 
thoroughly  enjoying  himself,  thought  it  was  all 
A. I.,  as  indeed  it  was. 

Sir  Tatten  used  to  complain  at  times  that  his 
wife  was  extravagant.  She  in  return  told  him  it 
was  quite  unnecessary  to  wear  five  greatcoats  at 
a  time,  that  also  was  extravagance.  She  told  him 
once  it  was  "a  superfluity  of  naughtiness." 

He  was  a  peculiarly  shy  and  nervous  man.  It 
was  quite  true  he  did  wear  two  or  three  greatcoats, 
— and  why  not,  if  it  so  pleased  him.  When  riding 
or  walking  about  the  estate  he  peeled  them  off  when 
they  became  oppressive  and  handed  them  to  a  ser- 
vant to  carry  until  required  again. 

At  one  time  he  grew  rather  irritable  when  his 
wife's  financial  arrangements  were  being  adjusted, 
and  he  did  not  recognise  his  signature  on  some  of 
his  cheques.  I  remember  there  was  some  bother 
about  it,  but  it  is  a  long  time  ago,  I  have  forgotten 
the  particulars.  He  was  also  displeased  when  Lady 
Sykes  bought  "La  Fleche"  at  Baron  Hirsh's  sale, 
as  she  had  not  the  money  to  pay  for  the  horse  and 
he  did  not  wish  to  find  it. 

Mr.  Henry  Cholmondley,  a  nephew  of  Sir  Tat- 
ten's,  lived  with  him,  and  was  in  the  house  when  the 
great  fire  took  place  at  Sledmere.  Fortunately  no- 
body was  burnt,  and  as  it  occurred  in  the  middle  of 
the  day,  most  of  the  valuables  were  saved.    Mr.  C. 


138         FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

Prior,  of  Adstock  Manor,  was  also  there  at  the 
time.    He  was  a  life-long  friend  of  Sir  Tatten's. 

The  house  has  lately  been  rebuilt  on  much  the 
same  lines  as  the  original. 

Sir  Tatten  will  always  be  remembered  as  a  great 
breeder  of  thoroughbred  yearlings  for  sale.  The 
Sledmere  yearlings  fetched  fabulous  prices  at  Don- 
caster. 

This  well-known  and  liked  Yorkshire  baronet 
died  at  the  Hotel  Metropole  in  London  in  191 3  from 
pneumonia  at  the  age  of  eighty-eight. 

He  certainly  did  embarrassing  things  at  times, 
but  then  who  does  not?  I  can  remember  a  number 
of  odd  things  done  by  my  friends  at  different  times. 

Mr.  Glynn  Vivian  (brother  of  Lord  Swansea)  at 
a  party  in  his  own  house  in  Eaton  Square  came 
into  the  drawing-room  when  it  was  full  of  people 
and  Isador  de  Lara,  or  some  such  musical  celebrity, 
was  about  to  play,  and  walking  up  to  his  wife  who 
was  near  me  complained  to  her  about  a  huge  vase 
standing  on  the  floor  near  us  filled  with  towering 
plumes  of  dried  grasses,  red,  yellow  and  green. 
These  vast  dyed  fronds  were  perhaps  a  rather 
Victorian  decoration  and  Mr.  Vivian's  taste  evi- 
dently did  not  lie  that  way.  He  therefore  mounted 
on  a  chair,  filled  his  arms  with  the  grasses  and 
threw  them  out  of  the  window.  I  gathered  this 
vase  and  grasses  had  been  an  innovation  and  he  did 
not  approve. 

At  another  time  when  people  were  expected  to 
dinner,  at  the  last  moment  something  upset  him  and 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS  139 

he  locked  up  all  the  silver !  Frantic  notes  were  sent 
round  to  ourselves  amongst  others  asking  us  to 
bring  spoons  and  forks  with  us ! 

Mrs.  Vivian  was  a  very  beautiful  woman,  a  Miss 
Craigie-Halkett  before  she  married.  I  often  heard 
her  called  the  "Virgin  Mary"  from  her  likeness  to 
some  of  the  beautiful  holy  pictures,  and  people 
looked  out  for  her  in  the  fashionable  twelve-to-two 
parades  in  the  Park,  when  we  all  looked  forward 
to  a  sight  of  our  dignified  and  beautiful  Queen 
Alexandra,  then  Princess  of  Wales. 

Some  of  my  women  friends  have  been  quite  as 
entertaining  as  the  men.  Lady  Caroline  Maddon, 
elder  sister  of  the  playmates  of  my  youth.  Lady 
May  Mostyn  and  Lady  Lina  Lyndon,  already  men- 
tioned in  my  other  book  of  recollections,*  was  one 
of  the  most  indefatigable  match-makers  and  quite 
untiring  in  the  interests  of  her  family.  Once  when 
my  youngest  brother  was  giving  a  party  conjointly 
with  my  husband  and  myself  at  the  Lyric  Club  in 
its  Bond  Street  days.  Lady  Caroline  came  round  a 
few  days  before  to  know  what  eligible  young  men 
had  accepted  our  invitations.  Mrs.  George  Harvey 
was  staying  with  us  at  the  time  and  her  bachelor 
cousin,  Lord  Hopetown,  having  been  amongst  the 
invited  we  enlarged  upon  his  many  advantages  as 
an  example  of  the  elegant  and  beauteous  young 
men  who  were  flocking  to  our  party,  and  Lady 
Caroline  went  away  quite  happy. 

On  the  evening  of  our  party  we  were  asked  at 

*  Memories  Discreet  and  Indiscreet. 


I40         FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

intervals  by  our  friend  if  Lord  Hopetown  had 
arrived.  He  had  not  at  the  time  we  were  asked,  so 
Mrs.  Harvey  conceived  the  idea  of  keeping  Lady 
Caroline  amused  and  happy  by  introducing  a  very 
good-looking  man  to  her  who  had  been  in  one  of  the 
Highland  Regiments  and  lately  married.  He  was 
not  particularly  well-endowed  with  worldly  goods, 
but  was  told  he  must  talk  very  big  to  Lady  Caroline 
about  his  yachts,  race-horses,  etc.  This  he  was 
doing  magnificently,  while  we  nodded  occasional 
encouragement  when  someone  came  up  and  asked 
the  man  how  his  bride  was ! 

Another  time  during  that  same  season,  when 
Mrs.  Harvey  was  staying  with  us,  we  were  dining 
with  the  Maddons  in  Chester  Square.  After  dinner 
our  hostess  asked  if  we  w^ould  like  to  hear  her 
daughter  recite.  The  reply  was  in  the  affirmative 
from  some  of  the  guests.  Personally,  I  fight  shy 
of  recitations,  they  always  make  me  feel  hysterical, 
especially  when  delivered  by  amateurs.  What  made 
this  particular  occasion  so  noticeable  was  the  fuss 
that  was  made  over  the  unfortunate  reciter.  First 
she  had  to  stand  against  a  heavy  red  curtain.  Then 
Mrs.  George  Harvey,  who  was  tall,  fair  and  hand- 
some (as  was  Miss  Maddon),  was  requested  to 
move,  as  Lady  Caroline  said,  "You  won't  mind 
moving,  will  you,  Mrs.  Harvey?  it  quite  spoils  the 
effect  two  fair  people  being  so  near  to  one  an- 
other." A  general  post  then  took  place  and  every- 
body felt  uncomfortable,  conversations  interrupted, 
chairs  scraped  about  the  room,  and  at  last  "Silence" 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS  141 

was  proclaimed  and  the  recitation  began.  The  re- 
citer is  now  Lady  Cardigan,  and  has  done  her  duty 
by  presenting  her  lord  with  an  heir.  We  all  felt 
sorry  for  the  poor  girl  having  such  a  fuss  made 
which  quite  spoilt  the  effect  that  might  otherwise 
have  been  produced.  Fortunately  Miss  Maddon 
had  become  used  to  her  mother's  arrangements  and 
was  not  upset  in  any  way,  in  fact  I  think  she  rather 
liked  it. 


CHAPTER  VII 

The  Duchess  of  Montrose — Her  Three  Husbands — Pigeon 
Shooting  at  Hurlingham — Queen  Victoria's  Veto — The 
Duchess  Has  a  Toss — She  Speaks  Her  Mind — The 
Prince  of  Wales  an  Eye-witness — The  Prince  Tries  to 
Avoid  a  Racing  Rumpus — Too  Late — Some  Curious 
Betting  Transactions — The  Duchess  Expresses  Her 
Opinion  of  Women — Women's  Clubs — Why  They  are 
not  More  Successful — Some  Soap-lifters. 

I  HAVE  met  some  famous  sportswomen  at  one 
time  and  another  in  my  life  as  well  as  famous 
sportsmen,  but  as  I  am  dealing  with  them  in 
another  book  later,  I  must  refrain  now  from  giving 
accounts  of  their  prowess  and  refer  only  to  their 
personalities. 

One  of  the  greatest  sportswomen  I  ever  met  was 
Caroline,  Duchess  of  Montrose,  sporting  in  every 
sense  of  .the  word,  having  owned  many  racehorses 
and  three  husbands.  She  was  a  great  character 
in  the  seventies  and  eighties.  Whenever  I  met  her 
Emerson's  clever  saying,  "What  you  are  speaks  so 
loud  I  cannot  hear  what  you  say,"  recurred  to  me. 
Pretend  as  much  as  we  like,  we  certainly  cannot 
radiate  anything  unlike  our  real  selves,  try  as  we 
may.  It  always  seemed  to  me  she  wished  the  world 
to  think  her  a  hard,  cynical  woman  of  dashing 

142 


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The  Duchess  of  Montrose 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS  143 

daring  character,  whereas  she  was  really  kind  and 
tender-hearted,  looking  for  sympathy  and  apprecia- 
tion as  her  daily  food.  While  pretending  she  did 
not  care  the  least  what  anybody  said  or  thought  of 
her,  she  really  cared  a  great  deal. 

She  was  a  daughter  of  the  2nd  Lord  Decies,  and 
married  her  first  husband,  the  4th  Duke  of  Mont- 
rose, in  1836.  What  her  age  was  when  she  married 
I  do  not  know  exactly,  so  we  will  suppose  it  was 
sweet  seventeen.  Her  second  venture  was  with 
Mr.  Stirling  Crawford,  a  fine  sportsman,  and 
thirdly,  with  Mr.  Henry  Milner,  m.v.o.,  d.s.c,  who 
had  just  turned  twenty-four  years  of  age  when  he 
led  his  bride  of  some  sixty-nine  summers  to  the 
altar  at  Putney  on  July  26th,  1888.  Mr.  Crawford 
died  in  1883. 

The  first  two  husbands  left  her  through  the  de- 
cree of  a  Higher  Power,  the  third  she  left  for  other 
reasons. 

I  think  I  may  describe  the  Duchess  as  a  very 
jolly,  happy  woman.  She  enjoyed  thoroughly  all 
the  good  things  she  was  able  to  command  and, 
what  is  more  to  the  point,  knew  she  was  having  a 
good  time. 

Mr.  Stirling  Crawford,  the  second  husband,  was 
a  very  popular  man  and  an  excellent  shot,  one  of 
the  founders  of  the  pigeon-shooting  shows  which 
for  some  years  were  so  fashionable.  They  were 
first  held  in  the  old  Red  House  at  Battersea,  and  at 
Hornsey  Wood  in  the  North  of  London,  now  called 
Finsbury  Park.    He  was  amongst  the  first  also  to 


144         FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

put  gun  to  shoulder  at  Hurlingham.  It  was  at  the 
latter  place  that  women  first  became  enamoured  of 
the  sport  that  was  christened  later  by  one  of  the 
leading  London  papers  "The  slaughter  of  the 
doves." 

The  men  all  had  their  handicap  distance  fixed  up 
just  as  you  now  see  on  golf  links.  Professional 
betting  men  were  not  allowed  at  Hurlingham, 
though  I  believe  this  was  not  the  case  at  the  Gun 
Club. 

As  soon  as  Hurlingham  became  popular  it  was 
bought  for  the  purpose  of  pigeon-shooting  from 
Mr.  Naylor,  the  owner  of  "Macaroni"  who  won  the 
Derby  in  1863. 

At  one  time  we  all  used  to  flock  down  to  see  the 
shooting  at  Hurlingham.  The  women  were  placed 
on  the  left-hand  side  of  the  traps  and  were  supposed 
to  be  non-betters,  but  did  not  consider  it  betting 
when  the  wagers  were  in  gloves  or  scent ! 

The  shooting  men  were  ranged  on  the  other  side 
and  had  the  advantage  of  some  shade  from  a  huge 
walnut  tree,  under  which  they  gambled  freely.  The 
women  had  to  provide  themselves  with  shade  from 
their  parasols.  These  meetings  in  the  earlier  days 
of  their  fame  were  most  instructive,  simple  and 
entertaining. 

Captain  Bachelor  used  to  be  the  "bookie"  on  the 
Saturday  afternoon  for  the  chief  prize  at  long  odds 
against  each  individual  shooter.  It  was  always 
ready  money,  and  the  secretary  used  to  file  on  penny 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS  145 

files  the  fiver'  entrance  fees  much  as  tradesmen 
people  do  their  accounts.    All  betted  heavily. 

The  highest  in  the  land  were  bitten  with  the 
pigeon-shooting  craze.  The  Prince  of  Wales,  the 
Duke  of  Edinburgh  and  many  crowned  heads  of 
Europe  were  fairly  regular  attendants  at  the  meet- 
ings. 

At  last  Queen  Victoria,  hearing  of  the  shooting 
of  the  poor  little  trapped  birds  and  of  a  certain 
dispute  there  had  been  over  some  heavy  betting, 
put  a  veto  on  the  meetings  as  far  as  any  of  her 
belongings  or  Court  were  concerned.  This  was  a 
terrible  blow,  and  all  the  shooting  fraternity  went 
about  with  long  faces  muttering  imprecations. 

Then  for  a  short  time  Hurlingham  felt  itself  out 
in  the  cold  and  in  a  measure  in  disgrace.  The  place 
then  drifted  by  degrees  to  its  present  stage,  trees 
were  cut  down  in  a  neighbouring  apple  orchard  and 
turned  into  a  polo  ground,  but  shooting  was  not 
entirely  abandoned.  Eventually  in  the  zenith  of 
its  fame  there  was  both  polo  and  shooting. 

I  have  strayed  away  rather  from  the  Duchess  of 
Montrose,  but  it  was  thinking  of  her  that  brought 
back  dear  old  Hurlingham  to  my  mind,  and  the  part 
played  there  so  often  by  Mr.  Crawford. 

It  was  here  also  that  the  poor  Duchess  quite  un- 
willingly distinguished  herself  while  looking  on  at 
the  shooting.  Arm-chairs,  luxurious  seats  and 
lounges  were  unheard  of  in  those  days  at  these 
meetings;  simple  wooden  schoolboy  forms  placed 
in  rows  were  provided.    The  Duchess  seeing  room 


146         FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

on  one  of  these  occupied  by  other  lookers-on 
perched  herself  upon  the  end  of  it.  All  were  watch- 
ing Mr.  Crawford's  shooting  with  anxious  eyes — 
it  had  been  heavily  betted  on.  It  so  happened  on 
this  particular  day  there  was  a  very  full  attendance, 
the  Prince  of  Wales,  the  Duke  of  Edinburgh  and  a 
number  of  royalties  looking  on.  Suddenly  great 
excitement  was  caused  by  Mr.  Crawford's  brilliant 
shooting  and  people  jumped  up  suddenly,  including 
the  men  sitting  on  the  same  bench  as  the  Duchess, 
with  the  natural  result  that  the  bench  stood  on  its 
head  and  so  did  she.  Her  parasol,  which  she  had 
been  holding  over  her  head,  took  the  opportunity 
to  shut  up  like  a  candle-extinguisher.  It  was  a 
nasty  and  surprising  toss  for  a  big  heavy  woman, 
and  it  was  not  in  the  days  of  hobble  skirts  and 
black  silk  stockings. 

It  was  a  great  shame  to  laugh,  but  no  one  could 
help  it,  even  the  perfect-mannered  Prince  of  Wales 
had  to  pretend  he  did  not  see  while  endeavouring  to 
hide  his  amusement.  The  only  person  unable  to 
enjoy  the  joke  was  the  lady  herself.  Usually  none 
were  more  ready  to  be  amused,  but  for  once  her 
cheery  face  was  clouded  as  she  picked  herself  up, 
and  turned  on  the  man  standing  nearest  to  her 
holding  his  sides  with  laughter.  Naturally  this 
incensed  her,  and  she  told  him  her  opinion  of  his 
manners.  To  make  matters  worse  this  individual, 
who  happened  to  be  an  Irishman,  while  profuse  in 
apologies  and  hopes  that  she  was  none  the  worse, 
said  he  had  no  idea  she  was  such  an  acrobat !    This 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS         147 

complicated  matters  somewhat  and  while  some 
drew  forth  immaculate  silk  handkerchiefs  and 
dusted  the  good  lady  down  she  advised  her  laughing 
Irish  friend  to  go  on  laughing  and  to  hold  his  fat 
vulgar  sides  while  doing  so. 

I  must  not  leave  the  subject  of  Hurlingham  with- 
out mentioning  the  old  gardener  who  had  been  in 
charge  for  many  years.  When  the  place  was  con- 
verted into  the  smart  club  it  became  later,  the  poor 
old  man  was  put  into  livery,  and  he  had  to  stand 
at  the  gate  as  the  members  and  their  friends  ar- 
rived. He  was  dreadfully  pained.  It  was  bad 
enough  to  be  obliged  to  wear  a  long  dark  green  sort 
of  frock-coat  with  brass  buttons  and  gold  braid,  but 
when  it  came  to  trousers  with  gold  braid,  and  a  tall 
hat  ornamented  in  the  same  way,  it  was  almost 
more  than  he  could  bear,  his  self -consciousness 
being  quite  painful. 

I  think  everybody  remembers  that  the  Duchess 
of  Montrose  was  well  known  on  the  race-course. 
A  member  of  the  Jockey  Club  once  said  to  me  in 
connection  with  the  Duchess's  racing,  ''Like  most 
women  who  come  racing  and  take  an  active  part  in 
the  management  of  the  horses  and  so  forth,  she  is 
a  nuisance.  Crawford  is  old  and  feeble  and  allows 
his  missus  to  hold  the  reins." 

At  this  time  and  during  the  lifetime  of  her  sec- 
ond husband  she  raced  under  the  name  of  Crawford 
and  won  many  classic  races.  After  his  death  she 
ran  them  under  the  name  of  Mr.  Manton. 

As  a  matter  of  fact,  I  know  she  did  exactly  what 


148         FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

she  liked  and,  at  one  time  and  another,  caused  a 
good  deal  of  trouble  both  before  and  after  her 
husband's  death.  As  she  would  listen  to  all  sorts 
of  tales  she  gradually  became  most  suspicious  of 
her  surroundings  generally.  She  was  always 
changing  her  commissioners  and  engaging  new 
ones  to  put  her  money  in,  her  chief  fault  being  she 
expected  all  the  long  prices.  It  was  over  a  little 
affair  of  this  kind  that  she  got  herself  disliked. 
There  was  quite  a  hostile  demonstration  against  her 
at  Newmarket  in  October,  1882,  when  out  of  a  fit 
of  pique  she  scratched  the  mare  "Thebais,"  one  of 
the  favourites  for  the  Cambridgeshire  of  that  year, 
because  she  had  been  forestalled  in  the  betting  and 
could  not  get  the  price  she  wanted. 

Mr.  Crawford  was  at  that  time  very  ill  at  Cannes, 
where  he  died  in  February,  1883,  Sir  Morell 
Mackenzie  having  operated  on  his  throat,  for  which 
he  received  one  thousand  guineas;  but  was  unable 
to  save  his  life. 

This  little  racing  unpleasantness  arose  through 
the  Duchess  saying  if  some  of  the  long  prices  were 
not  turned  up  to  her  she  would  not  run  the  mare 
at  all.  Nobody  really  thought  she  was  in  earnest 
until  the  last  moment  when  she  adhered  to  her 
avowed  intention  in  spite  of  her  many  friends'  pro- 
tests. Sir  Frederick  Johnson  tried  hard  to  make 
her  listen  to  reason.  The  very  night  before  the  race 
several  people  I  know  journeyed  down  to  Sefton 
Lodge  to  try  and  prevent  her  doing  anything  so 
exceedingly  unpopular,  or,  as  James  Lowther  ex- 


The  Earl  of  Coventry 
A  Racecourse  Snapshot 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS  149 

pressed  it,  "Not  to  make  a  fool  of  herself."  But 
it  was  all  useless.  The  Prince  of  Wales  even  took 
the  trouble  to  go  and  advise  her,  but  by  the  time 
he  arrived  the  mischief  had  been  done.  She  had 
written  the  fatal  letter  and  sent  it  to  Weatherby's 
to  scratch  the  mare,  after  which  nothing  more  could 
be  done,  Royal  or  otherwise. 

I  do  not  think  the  Duchess  quite  understood  what 
a  serious  thing  she  was  doing,  for  she  was  a  kindly 
good-hearted  woman  who  liked  people  to  be  sport- 
ing and  have  a  good  time.  Feeling  naturally  ran 
very  high  at  Newmarket,  and  when  in  an  earlier 
race  before  the  time  the  Cambridgeshire  was  set 
to  be  run  in,  a  horse  of  hers  cantered  past  the  stand 
in  her  Grafton  scarlet,  a  roar  of  hooting  and  groan- 
ing went  up  from  the  general  public  stands,  and 
my  theory  that  the  Duchess  had  not  realised  what 
she  had  done,  was,  I  think,  proved  by  her  wonder- 
ment at  what  the  row  was  all  about,  in  fact  she 
asked  quite  innocently  in  the  Jockey  Club  enclosure 
what  the  hullaballoo  was  about. 

When  she  was  told  briefly  in  the  one  word 
"Thebais,"  she  stood  still  for  a  moment  and  then 
entirely  broke  down.  Nobody  would  speak  to  her 
in  the  saddling  paddock.  I  do  not  know  what  would 
have  happened  but  for  kind  Lord  Coventry  be- 
friending her  and  leading  her  out  of  the  crowd  into 
a  horse-box.  What  he  said  to  her  I  do  not  know, 
but  she  was  seen  no  more  on  the  heath  that  day. 

After  this  there  was  another  inclination  on  the 
part  of     the  crowd  to  hoot  her  colours,  but  Mr. 


150         FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

Weatherby  showed  tact  and  good  taste  by  asking 
the  bookies  to  desist.  This  request  was  quickly 
passed  from  one  to  the  other,  and  attention  paid 
to  it. 

I  feel  certain  the  scratching  of  "Thebais"  was 
not  done  ''out  of  spite,"  as  I  have  heard  it  described, 
but  from  failing  to  realise  what  it  would  entail,  for, 
as  I  have  said,  the  Duchess  was  not  a  malicious  or 
ill-natured  woman,  and  I  know  for  a  fact  that  she 
never  ceased  regretting  that  unhappy  stroke  of  the 
pen. 

Poor  lady,  it  was  well  she  won  some  big  plums 
and  had  the  satisfaction  of  seeing  her  horses  win 
big  races  to  counterbalance  the  difficulties  and  un- 
pleasantnesses in  which  at  times  she  found  herself. 

With  her  betting  she  was  not  always  happy  and 
got  into  some  pretty  tiresome  muddles.  For  in- 
stance, w^hen  "Corrie  Roy"  was  entered  for  the 
Goodwood  Stakes  and  "Oberon"  for  the  Lincoln- 
shire Handicap,  although  both  horses  won  she  stood 
a  loser !  It  was  altogether  rather  complicated,  for 
in  the  "Corrie  Roy"  case  she  lay  against  the  mare, 
then  backed  it,  then  reported  it  a  non-starter  with 
the  same  threatened  fate  as  'Thebais."  However, 
the  matter  was  put  straight  and  "Corrie  Roy" 
achieved  a  big  performance. 

It  was,  however,  a  case  of  the  "biter  bit,"  for  the 
man  who  had  the  commission  of  backing  the  mare 
to  win  died  in  the  interval  of  victory  and  settling 
day.  Her  agent  had,  therefore,  no  account  and  all 
the  bets  he  made  were  invalid. 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS         151 

"Oberon,"  the  horse  she  ran  at  Lincoln,  was  the 
self-same  animal  that  Lord  William  Beresford  took 
out  to  India  with  a  view  of  winning  the  Viceroy's 
Cup,  but  it  may  be  remembered  that  climate  did 
not  suit  the  horse  and  he  proved  so  uncertain  he 
was  returned  to  England,  where  he  proved  useful 
at  stud.  But  for  the  fact  of  a  telegram  being  de- 
layed in  transit,  ''Oberon"  would  never  have  run  in 
that  race  at  Lincoln. 

Once  a  man  got  a  little  piqued  with  the  Duchess 
over  a  betting  transaction.  She  had  asked  him  to 
put  one  thousand  pounds  for  her  on  a  horse  that 
failed  to  win.  The  money  was  not  forthcoming  at 
Tattersall's  on  the  following  Monday.  Thinking 
this  strange,  he  called  the  same  evening  on  the 
Duchess  and,  as  he  was  shown  into  the  hall,  she 
came  down  the  stairs  and  said  she  had  forgotten  all 
about  it,  or  words  to  that  effect.  A  moment  later 
she  changed  her  line  of  argument  and  said  she  sup- 
posed the  account  was  all  right  and  that  she  knew 
he  was  a  rich  man  and  would  not  be  inconvenienced. 
To  which  he  replied,  "That's  all  very  well,  your 
Grace,  but  my  money  is  in  bricks  and  mortar,  and 
we  don't  settle  with  them  at  Tattersall's." 

For  years  there  has  been  a  story  of  some  lady- 
owner  becoming  irate  with  her  jockey  after  he  had 
been  beaten,  when  armed  with  her  orders  to  jump 
off  as  soon  as  the  flag  fell,  come  right  through  and 
win.  The  jockey  did  his  best  but  failed  to  obtain 
notice  of  the  judge,  so  he  was  accosted  by  the  owner 
with,  "Did  I  not  tell  you  to  come  along  as  fast  as 


152         FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

you  could?"  to  which  he  answered,  "And  so  I  did, 
but  I  could  not  come  along  without  the  horse."  The 
lady  was  the  Duchess  of  Montrose  and  the  jockey 
little  Henry  Huxtable  and  not  Sam  Loates  as  has 
been  at  times  suggested. 

The  Duchess  built  a  mausoleum  to  the  memory 
of  her  second  husband  at  Newmarket  and  used  to 
visit  it  every  morning  when  in  the  neighbourhood. 
She  often  found  an  old  man  there  also  praying  for 
the  dead.  His  name  was  Potter.  He  frequently 
turned  up  to  mourn  departed  sportsmen  and  sym- 
pathise with  the  relatives,  receiving  the  widow's 
mite  in  return! 

All  people  who  through  sport,  or  indeed  in  any 
way,  become  public  characters  have  wild  stories  re- 
lated about  them,  and  the  Duchess  did  not  escape. 
One  story  was  that  after  Mr.  Crawford  died  she 
suggested  to  Fred  Archer,  the  jockey,  that  she  would 
have  no  objection  to  his  being  her  third  husband, 
but  he  had  other  views.  I  am  under  the  impres- 
sion she  may  have  said  something  of  the  kind  in 
chaff  and  had  it  misconstrued,  but  when  I  have  sug- 
gested this  I  have  been  told  it  was  nothing  of  the 
kind.  However,  I  am  entitled  to  hold  my  own 
opinion ;  but  undoubtedly  the  story  went  round  that 
Archer  asked  Captain  Machell  if  he  married  the 
Duchess  would  he  thereby  become  the  Duke  of 
Montrose?  .  .  .  Si  non  e  vero  ben  trovato ! ! 

This  very  sporting  lady's  third  husband,  Mr. 
Henry  Milner,  did  not  live  with  her  very  long. 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS         153 

There  was  no  divorce  or  anything  so  vulgar,  they 
agreed  to  disagree  like  sensible  people. 

In  Lady  Cardigan's  reminiscences  she  says  that 
the  Duchess  of  Montrose  "pulled"  "Thebais,"  which 
is  quite  a  mistake ;  she  should  have  said  "scratched." 
Perhaps  that  was  what  she  meant  to  say,  but  what 
does  it  matter?  Who  thinks  or  cares  anything 
about  these  nine  days'  wonders  even  a  month  or 
two  after  they  have  taken  place,  all  is  forgotten  or 
embroidered  out  of  all  recognition. 

After  Mr.  Crawford's  death  I  am  under  the  im- 
pression that  the  Duchess  ran  her  horses  in  the 
colours  of  Sir  Frederick  Johnstone. 

In  November,  1894,  she  died,  and  some  of  her 
stable  was  sold  at  the  Newmarket  December  sales. 
I  do  not  remember  what  the  total  figure  amounted 
to;  but  I  know  ten  mares  brought  in  10,440  guineas 
and  ten  horses  in  training  17,215  guineas.  One  sale 
of  her  Sefton  Stud  realised  the  tidy  little  sum  of 
£52,305.  This  was,  however,  only  a  small  portion 
of  her  stud. 

She  was  buried  in  the  mausoleum  she  had  built 
for  Mr.  Crawford  near  Sefton  Lodge  at  Newmar- 
ket. 

Her  racing  colours  did  not  appear  in  the  Racing 
Calendar  from  1894  until  revived  by  the  present 
Lord  Decies. 

I  once  had  a  great  discussion  with  the  Duchess 
on  the  question  of  who  were  the  greatest  scandal- 
mongers, men  or  women.  She  maintained  that 
women  were  the  worst  culprits,  saying,  "They  are 


154         FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

mostly  jealous  spiteful  cats."  I  did  not  agree,  and 
suggested  men's  clubs  and  smoking-rooms  were  the 
places  from  whence  came  most  of  the  scandal  and 
gossip.  I  remember  my  husband  telling  me  some 
wonderful  stories  dealing  with  men's  racing  trans- 
actions and  women's  morals  which  he  had  heard  at 
"the  club."  I  told  him  I  had  always  understood 
women's  names  were  not  mentioned  in  better-class 
clubs.     He  replied,  "Oh,  that's  all  bunkum!" 

It  is,  I  know,  supposed  that  ladies'  five-o'clock 
teas  are  responsible  for  much  scandal.  I  have  not 
found  it  so,  and  I  am  glad  my  friends  are  not  of 
the  order  who  find  pleasure  in  saying  unkind  things 
about  other  people;  they  neither  like  it  nor  will  they 
tolerate  anything  of  the  kind.  When  a  few  nice-, 
minded  women  set  their  faces  against  ill-natured 
gossip  it  is  surprising  how  quickly  it  dies  a  natural 
death  in  that  immediate  neighbourhood.  There  are 
many  more  interesting  things  to  talk  about  than  our 
own  or  our  neighbour's  follies.  It  is  safer  to  talk 
of  things  than  people;  except  when  writing  Mem- 
ories! 

I  have  certainly  met  more  men  with  tongues  that 
ran  away  with  them  than  I  have  women,  and  a 
diplomatist  or  two  who  have  been  very  clever  with 
their  innuendoes,  the  property  of  which  we  all  know 
is  to  create  an  impression  unawares.  One  man  I 
know  who  is  living  to-day  is  quite  accomplished  in 
this  art. 

Speaking  of  clubs,  reminds  me  how  very  unclub- 
able  women  are,  which  no  doubt  accounts  for  the 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS         155 

number  of  those  establishments  that  have  not  been 
successes  and  have  had  to  close  their  doors.  For 
years  I  wondered  what  women  wanted  clubs  for 
and  supposed  it  was  to  get  away  from  their  hus- 
bands, in  the  same  way  that  men  belong  to  clubs  to 
get  away  from  their  womenkind.  That,  however, 
does  not  apply  now,  for  it  would  be  so  unnecessary 
when  we  all  lead  such  separate  lives,  indeed  it  would 
be  considered  bourgeois  to  know  where  our  hus- 
bands are.  I  can  see  now  that  these  institutions 
may  be  very  useful,  and  in  hopes  of  finding  their 
utility  have  belonged  to  several.  At  the  present 
moment  I  am  a  member  of  two. 

After  deep  study  I  have  come  to  the  conclusion 
that  many  of  the  comparative  failures  in  the  wom- 
en's club  movement  have  not  by  any  means  always 
been  the  fault  of  the  club  managers,  but  rather  of 
the  members  themselves.  A  new  cult  seems  to  have 
sprung  up.  I  do  not  mean  the  Suffragettes  or  the 
down-with-everybody-and-everything-ist,  we  know 
all  about  them,  but  the  club  fiend  is  a  new  creation, 
a  thing  apart.  I  am  learning  to  know  her  by  sight, 
she  mostly  wears  cotton  gloves  and  sniffs!  There 
are  many  of  her  kind  and  they  specialise  in  all  the 
vices  that  make  club  life  unbearable,  but  their  vices 
vary. 

In  one  of  my  clubs  I  witnessed  some  strange 
conduct,  I  encountered  soap-lifters  who  could  not 
resist  putting  the  soap  in  their  pockets  after  wash- 
ing their  hands.  Others  who  were  so  hypnotised  by 
the  hair-pins  that  they  had  to  cram  as  many  into 


156         FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

their  hair  as  it  would  hold.  One  woman,  who  did 
not  think  I  could  see  her  reflection  in  the  glass  in 
front  of  me,  looked  like  a  hedgehog  before  she  left 
the  room,  she  had  very  little  hair  but  many  hair- 
pins. Then  the  writing-paper  and  envelopes  seem 
to  be  quite  irresistible. 

In  the  reading-room  I  have  seen  women  collect 
newspapers  in  heaps  and  sit  down  on  them,  spread- 
ing their  skirts  so  as  to  hide  all  traces,  much  as 
broody  hens  fluffle  out  their  feathers.  These  club 
women  even  cut  out  portions  of  the  papers  when 
they  think  nobody  is  looking. 

Women's  clubs  are  things  that  have  come  to  stay, 
I  know,  but  I  think  most  women  who  belong  to 
them  will  allow  that  the  club  fiend  eats  like  a  canker 
into  club  life. 

It  is  a  humiliating  thought,  but  women  do  not 
amalgamate  happily,  having  apparently  an  inherited 
mistrust  of  one  another,  and  from  what  I  have  ob- 
served in  clubs,  with  some  reason.  Many  will  not 
conform  to  the  necessary  rules  of  club  life,  which  is 
silly  and  short-sighted  as  the  rules  are  formed  en- 
tirely for  their  own  comfort  and  convenience. 

In  fact  to  be  an  ideal  club  woman  it  is  necessary 
not  to  expect  too  much  from  one's  fellow-members. 
Women  have  the  almost  universal  failing  of  want- 
ing to  be  too  intimate,  of  asking  too  many  questions, 
and  making  too  many  confidences.  They  are  not 
satisfied  with  the  easy  comradeship  that  exists  be- 
tween men  who  may  belong  to  the  same  club  for 
years,  meeting  constantly  the  same  people,  and  yet 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS  157 

not  know  whether  they  are  married,  single  or  di- 
vorced, where  they  live,  or  anything  about  them, 
their  chief  topic  of  conversation  having  been  poli- 
tics, sport,  guns  and  such-like  matters,  with  no  per- 
sonal matters  introduced. 

The  first  thing  a  woman  wants  to  ferret  out  ap- 
pears to  be  if  the  woman  she  meets  is  happy  in  her 
home  life,  how  many  children  she  has  and  all  the 
intimate  details  of  her  domestic  life.  After  this 
information  is  digested  they  are  either  bosom  pals 
or  at  daggers  drawn,  and  even  in  the  case  of  the 
bosom  pals,  before  long  they  often,  indeed,  almost 
invariably,  end  in  what  diplomatists  call  "strained 
relations." 

Another  reason  why  I  doubt  if  club  life  will  ap- 
peal to  all  is  that  instinct  of  ''home,"  the  beauteous 
word  manufactured  by  the  Teutonic  people  which 
is  so  deeply  rooted  in  our  hearts.  Clubs  are  of 
course  meant  to  be  our  temporary  homes,  but  each 
individual  member  must  not  expect  to  run  it  on 
her  own  lines,  for  they  are  not  in  control  of  the 
establishment. 

I  think  a  little  more  dignity  and  reserve  on  the 
part  of  women  joining  clubs  would  lead  to  greater 
comfort  and  happiness  all  round,  and  I  think  that 
now  women  have  broken  away  from  the  old-fash- 
ioned idea  of  its  being  "not  nice"  to  appear  in  any 
role  except  that  of  pandering  to  man,  they  should 
try  and  acclimatise  themselves  to  club  life,  try  and 
be  logical  and  prove  they  are  at  any  rate  capable 
of  governing  themselves. 


158         FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

When  people  used  to  tell  me  extraordinary 
stories  of  things  done  in  "Hen  Clubs,"  I  used  to 
think  these  dear  kind  people  were  trying  to  amuse 
me,  never  believing  for  a  moment  such  things  did 
really  happen,  but  now  I  know,  for  one  afternoon 
I  wandered  into  a  club  and  not  finding  the  papers 
I  wanted  asked  one  of  the  servants  what  had  be- 
come of  them.  He  looked  wearily  round  the  room, 
shrugged  his  shoulders,  and  said,  'Tinched!" 
After  waiting  some  time  and  being  unable  to  find 
the  papers,  and  the  papers  not  finding  me,  I  went 
into  the  hall  and  waylaid  an  official,  who  in  a  piqued 
voice  said  either  they  were  not  out  yet  or  had  been 
carried  to  members'  bed-rooms!  I  then  drove  off 
to  Victoria  Station  and  got  what  I  wanted  from  the 
railway  bookstall. 

I  do  not  trouble  this  club  much  now.  In  another 
to  which  I  at  one  time  belonged,  but  which  is  now 
no  more,  both  sexes  were  allowed,  and  in  the  com- 
plaint book  I  read  one  day,  "Is  it  the  correct  thing 
for  waiters  to  come  into  the  room  in  their  shirt 
sleeves  at  eleven  o'clock  in  the  morning?"  Further 
down  on  the  same  page,  "The  food  is  bad  and  ex- 
pensive," to  which  some  wag  had  remarked  imme- 
diately beneath  it,  "No  self-respecting  chef  will 
stay  in  a  woman's  club  where  they  have  poached 
eggs  for  dinner.  No  wonder  he  gets  slack.  Ask 
next  time  for  larks'  eyebrows  devilled  on  toast,  you 
will  then  see  what  a  professor  he  is." 

A  member  of  a  well-known  ladies'  club  lately 
vouched  for  the  truth  of  the  following: 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS         159 

A  certain  lady  playing  at  bridge  there  lost  a 
largish  "parcel"  and  had  not  the  necessary  ready 
to  settle  up,  so  pulled  a  couple  of  diamond  rings 
from  off  her  fingers  and  flung  them  down  to 
her  opponent  in  settlement.  They  proved  to  be 
Parisian  and  worth  less  than  what  she  had  lost. 

Next  time  these  ladies  met  in  the  club  the  one 
who  had  been  paid  in  Parisian  diamonds  went  for 
their  former  owner  and  pulled  her  hair,  unfortu- 
nately it  had  not  been  grafted  very  firmly  and  tou- 
pee, wig  or  whatever  it  was,  came  away  bodily  leav- 
ing a  very  lonely  looking  bald  pate. 

Until  women  as  a  body  realise  their  responsibil- 
ities and  observe  the  amenities  of  club  life  the 
woman's  club  movement  can  never  be  an  unquali- 
fied success;  and  we  must  bear  in  mind,  new  ideas 
without  the  sanction  of  tradition  must  ever  strug- 
gle for  existence. 


CHAPTER  VIII 

Some  Racing  Ladies — Stakes  Given  to  the  Red  Cross  Fund 
— Prince  Soltykoff  a  Faithful  Friend — Lord  Alfred  Pa- 
get Patron  of  the  Theatre — Queen  Alexandra's  Interest 
in  Racing — Her  Sympathy  and  Enjoyment  of  a  Joke — 
In  Her  Home  at  Sandringham — The  Fatigue  of  Ladies- 
in-Waiting — Lady  Macclesfield  and  Bishop  Wilberforce 
— Lady  Ely  Asked  her  Favourites  at  Court — The  Ger- 
man Emperor  at  Osborne — Queen  Victoria  and  John 
Brown — The  Duke  of  Connaught's  Early  Speech-making 
— Mr.  Bolckow  the  Duke's  Host  at  Marton — Starving 
amidst  Plenty — A  Tactful  Host. 

WHEN  the  war  broke  out  there  were  no  less 
than  nineteen  ladies  with  colours  regis- 
tered under  the  rules  of  racing  and  the 
National  Hunt. 

The  Duchess  of  Newcastle,  who  is  a  first-rate 
judge  of  both  horse  and  hound,  and  who  in  her 
youth  was  known  as  "Ta-Ta"  Candy,  daughter  of 
that  fine  sportsman,  "Sugar  Candy,"  has  played  the 
most  conspicuous  if  not  the  most  important  part  in 
later  day  racing.  Perhaps  I  ought  to  bracket  Lady 
James  Douglas  with  her.  The  latter  breeds  a  good 
many  horses  and  makes  good  prices  in  the  sale-ring 
with  her  stock. 

In  steeple-chasing  Lady  Nelson  comes  out  on  top. 
She  won  the  Liverpool  Grand  National  of  191 5  with 

160 


l\-^ 


y- 


Lady  Nelson 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS  i6i 

her  "Ally  Sloper,"  and  gave  the  whole  of  the  stakes 
to  the  Red  Cross  Funds.  She  is,  I  think,  the  only 
lady  who  has  ever  won  that  great  event,  and  cer- 
tainly the  only  one  I  have  ever  heard  of  who  has 
so  splendidly  and  usefully  applied  the  stakes  and 
winnings. 

There  have  oeen  fierce  arguments  as  to  whether 
she  was  at  Liverpool  to  see  her  horse  win,  and  there 
has  been  betting  on  it.  As  a  matter  of  fact,  she  was 
not  there,  but  in  town  on  the  day  of  the  race.  On 
hearing  of  her  good  luck  she  proceeded  at  once  to 
Liverpool,  arriving  next  day,  and  stood  with  her 
horse  to  be  photographed,  which  no  doubt  led  peo- 
ple into  the  belief  that  she  was  there  on  the  great 
day.  Her  racing  colours  are  white,  light  blue  sash 
and  blue  cap,  her  husband's  are  white  jacket  with 
a  red,  white  and  blue  sash  and  red  cap,  out  of  com- 
pliment to  the  white  funnels  of  the  Nelson  line  of 
steamers  with  which  his  name  has  been  so  long 
associated.  Both  Sir  William  Nelson  ( ist  Baronet) 
and  his  wife,  speak  of  the  "sash"  across  the  jacket, 
which  is  a  very  modern  term  for  the  historic  "rac- 
ing belt."  "Ally  Sloper"  has  not  done  much  since 
his  Liverpool  triumph,  and  his  then  jockey  is  now 
in  khaki.  Both  Sir  William  and  Lady  Nelson  are 
fond  of  horses  and  racing,  and  spend  a  good  deal 
of  time  at  their  stud  farm.  County  Meath.  They 
also  have  horses  in  England  at  Lambourne.  When 
I  congratulated  Lady  Nelson  a  short  time  ago  on 
her  noble  gift  to  the  Red  Cross  Fund,  she  very 
sweetly  said,  it  was  not  only  a  pleasure  to  give  it,  but 


i62         FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

she  considered  It  her  duty.  I  wish  a  few  more  felt 
as  dutiful. 

Miss  Ethel  Clinton  also  raced  and,  like  Mrs. 
Langtry,  has  been  on  the  stage.  That  Russian  but- 
terfly, Prince  Soltykoff,  paid  her  great  attention  in 
the  long  agos,  but  she  was  not  his  first  love.  Reg- 
ular theatre  goers  well  remember  seeing  her  on 
warm  summer  evenings  walking  arm-in-arm  with 
the  Prince  along  the  Strand  to  the  Globe  Theatre. 
When  she  and  her  patrons  revived  "Les  Cloches  de 
Corneville"  it  was  a  very  pleasant  show,  with  much 
harmony  both  before  and  behind  the  curtain.  Lord 
Alfred  Paget  was  one  of  the  patrons  who  shared 
the  harmony  behind  the  scenes;  he  was  a  frequent 
visitor.     The  chorus  liked  him  and  he  liked  them. 

Kate  Munro,  a  most  fascinating  and  clever  act- 
ress, was  the  leading  lady.  There  were  those  be- 
hind the  scenes  who  said  she  was  befriended  by  a 
Royal  personage,  and  I  was  amused  at  being  told 
that  one  very  wet  Saturday  afternoon  when  she  had 
promised  two  nice  little  children  of  hers  that  they 
should  come  and  see  mamma  act,  but  owing  to  the 
wet  she  thought  they  would  not  come.  The  nurse 
arrived  with  them,  and  they  were  escorted  behind 
the  scenes  to  their  fond  parent.  When  she  saw  them 
she  said,  *'0h,  nurse,  nurse,  why  did  you  bring  these 
children  out  on  such  a  wet  afternoon?  Dear! 
dear!  what  would  their  Royal  grandmamma  say  if 
they  caught  cold!" 

The  chorus  who  overheard  this  were  amused. 
They  were  not  quite  of  the  same  standard  as  the 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS  163 

chorus  girls  of  to-day,  though  perhaps  more  easily 
pleased. 

When  Prince  Soltykoff's  wife  died  he  did  not 
marry  again,  as  many  thought  he  would,  but  was 
very  faithful  to  his  old  friends,  and  at  his  death 
left  his  Newmarket  home,  Kremlin  House  (now  in 
the  possession  of  Mr.  Joe  Butters)  to  Miss  Clinton; 
also  his  racehorses.  She  has  never  done  anything 
of  importance  with  them,  but  continued  to  race  in 
the  pronounced  pink  jacket  and  black  cap  so  popu- 
lar in  the  days  of  that  sporting  Russian's  racing. 

Racing  has  never  claimed  any  of  our  English 
Royal  ladies,  or  Royal  gentlemen  either  for  that 
matter,  except  King  Edward;  he  was  keenly  inter- 
ested; Queen  Alexandra  was  not,  until  her  King, 
then  Prince  of  Wales,  won  his  first  Derby  with 
"Persimmon"  in  1896,  after  which  she  expressed  a 
wish  to  go  into  the  weighing  room  at  Epsom  and  see 
the  jockeys  weighed  out,  and  other  details  of  that 
sanctum. 

It  was  Queen  Alexandra  who  hit  upon  the  happy 
nomenclature  of  "Diamond  Jubilee"  for  the  brother 
of  "Persimmon,"  who  won  the  Derby  the  same  year 
as  Queen  Victoria  celebrated  her  notable  Diamond 
Jubilee. 

The  present  Queen  Mother  has  a  great  sense  of 
humour  and  enjoys  a  joke;  sympathetic  people  often 
do,  and  she  is  the  most  sympathetic  of  all  our 
Royal  family,  quickly  responding  to  the  mood  of 
those  she  is  speaking  to,  whether  grave  or  gay.  She 
is  reported  to  have  said  one  of  the  best  stories  she 


t64         further  indiscretions 

ever  heard  was  of  an  old  lady  who  suffered  from 
an  affection  of  the  nose,  that  is  to  say  the  little  dew- 
drop  that  comes  unawares  on  the  tip  of  our  nose 
in  cold  and  damp  weather.  This  became  a  source 
of  annoyance  to  the  old  lady,  so  she  told  her  foot- 
man whenever  he  observed  this  phenomenon  to  say 
politely,  "Thomas  is  waiting,  my  lady,"  so  as  to 
call  her  attention  to  it.  One  day,  while  waiting  at 
table,  the  flunkey  discovered  it  was  time  to  obey  his 
orders,  but  felt  shy.  At  last  he  summoned  up  suffi- 
cient courage  to  say,  "Thomas  was  waiting,  my 
lady,  but  now  he  is  in  your  soup !" 

In  1885  or  1886  I  think  it  must  have  been,  when 
Monsieur  Lacretelle,  the  portrait  painter,  was  paint- 
ing a  picture  of  Queen  Alexandra  and  her  dogs,  he 
asked  her  how  she  would  like  them  taken,  stand- 
ing, lying  down,  or  what  position.  She  replied 
with  a  charming  smile,  "On  their  behinds,"  only  in 
French  it  sounded  much  more  piquante.  Lacretelle 
drew  a  pencil  sketch  of  me  at  the  same  time  and 
made  me  so  beautiful  that  I  vowed  I  would  never 
again  have  a  photograph  or  picture  taken,  but  some 
light-fingered  person  walked  away  with  it  during 
one  of  our  crushes  or  bun  struggles,  so  my  pride 
and  vanity  had  to  suffer  by  appearing  in  a  photo- 
graph in  my  usual  everyday  face,  shorn  of  the 
beauty  that  had  been  in  the  eye  of  the  beholder 
when  the  sketch  was  made.  It  was  only  a  quite 
small  head  and  shoulders,  but  I  fancied  it  enor- 
mously. 

I  like  to  think,  in  my  dreams,  of  Queen  Alexandra 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS  165 

at  Sandringham,  where  she  is  happy  amongst  her 
pets,  and  where  she  can  shed  a  Httle  of  the  fatiguing 
mantle  of  estabHshed  precedent.  Where  she  can  be 
the  woman  and  the  mother  as  well  as  the  Queen. 
Where  she  can  wander  out  of  the  big  black  and  gold 
gates  given  to  her  and  the  Prince  of  Wales  when 
they  bought  the  place,  and  across  to  York  Cottage 
and  round  to  the  creeper  and  ivy-clad  little  church 
within  stone's-throw  of  the  house.  Here  for  many 
years  she  has  carried  all  her  joys  and  woes,  then 
back  across  the  drive  to  the  flower  gardens  on  the 
other  side  of  the  house,  where  flowers  bloom  galore, 
especially  her  favourite  flower,  mignonette.  Every- 
thing about  the  place  looks  so  cared  for  and  content. 
The  pheasants  hardly  get  out  of  your  way,  the 
lodges  to  the  side  entrances  all  covered  with  well- 
ordered  rambling  creepers  and  roses,  the  model  ken- 
nels where  her  treasures  live,  each  division  with  a 
well-kept  lawn  for  the  pleasure  of  the  inhabitants 
either  to  lie  and  bask  in  the  sun  or  for  gentle  ex- 
ercise. 

The  hospitality  at  Sandringham  is  thoroughly 
simple  and  homely,  after  the  fashion  of  our  big 
country  houses.  The  Royalties  do  not  usually  ap- 
pear until  midday,  unless  shooting  is  on  the  tapis. 

Queen  Alexandra  is  a  keen  observer;  nothing 
escapes  her.  I  remember  once  sitting  with  Lady 
Macclesfield,  during  one  of  her  days  in  waiting  at 
Marlborough  House,  and  in  such  a  dull,  uninterest- 
ing room,  more  like  a  station  waiting-room  than 
anything  else  I  could  think  of.     She  was  knitting 


i66         FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

uncomfortable  looking  garments  of  strange  shapes 
for  the  poor,  and  there  she  had  to  remain  unless  sent 
for  by  her  Royal  mistress  or  until  she  was  told  her 
services  would  not  be  required  any  further  that 
day. 

I  did  not  like  to  ask  her  if  she  was  very  dull.  It 
was  such  a  leading  question,  and  I  am  sure  we  would 
all  sit  day  in  and  day  out  in  a  dull  uninteresting 
room  if  by  so  doing  we  could  be  of  any  service  to 
such  a  splendid  Queen  who  has  so  faithfully  ful- 
filled her  role  throughout  her  life,  so  ably  filled  that 
position  into  which  it  pleased  God  to  call  her. 

When  the  message  came  that  Lady  Macclesfield's 
services  would  not  be  required  any  more  that  day, 
she  drove  me  home,  and  on  the  way  I  asked  her  if 
she  found  the  standing  as  tiring  as  Lady  Downe  did 
when  in  waiting  on  Queen  Victoria.  She  said  there 
was  no  getting  away  from  the  fact  that  it  was  most 
fatiguing,  especially  at  big  functions,  but  that  Queen 
Alexandra,  who  was  then  Princess  of  Wales,  was 
most  considerate  when  able  to  do  as  she  liked  in  her 
own  home,  being  most  observant  of  fatigue  on  the 
part  of  her  ladies-in-waiting. 

Dear,  kind  and  good  Lady  Macclesfield  was  quite 
smart  at  repartee.  Once  when  talking  to  Bishop 
Wilberforce,  otherwise  known  as  "Soapy  Sam," 
who  died  the  sudden  death  on  the  Downs  near  Dork- 
ing that  he  had  always  said  was  the  one  he  should 
like,  he  was  explaining  to  her  about  his  weight  and 
that  he  knew  exactly  to  an  ounce  what  it  was  when 
in  his  bath.    She  replied,  referring  to  his  sobriquet. 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS         167 

"Would  that  be  with  or  without  the  soap,  my  lord?" 

The  conversation  seems  to  have  been  of  rather  an 
intimate  nature,  but  perhaps  that  was  the  bishop's 
polite  way  of  explaining  he  knew  his  weight  with- 
out any  of  his  clothes  being  taken  into  considera- 
tion. 

A  story  is  told  of  this  same  reverend  gentleman 
when  rating  a  curate,  to  whom  he  said,  "I  do  not 
like  to  hear  of  the  clergy  in  my  diocese  galloping 
about  after  hounds  and  neglecting  their  work." 

The  curate,  who  was  considerably  braver  than 
many  I  have  seen  in  the  presence  of  their  ecclesias- 
tic superiors,  replied,  "You  go  to  balls,  my  Lord." 

"Yes,"  said  the  bishop,  "but  I  am  never  in  the 
same  room  as  the  dancers." 

The  curate  replied :  "And  I  am,  never  in  the  same 
field  as  the  hounds,  my  lord." 

This  is  an  old  story  often  told,  but  is  rather  a 
good  one. 

But  to  return  to  the  fatigue  of  ladies-in-waiting. 
Poor  Lady  Downe  used  to  catch  the  most  terrible 
colds  when  on  duty.  I  remember  Lady  Sefton 
bringing  her  to  see  me  once  when  she  could  hardly 
see  out  of  her  eyes  and  her  nose  was  red.  I  enquired 
how  she  had  managed  to  get  such  a  bad  cold.  She 
said  it  was  the  result  of  having  been  "in  waiting" 
for  a  month,  adding,  "The  Queen  loves  fresh  air, 
and  can  live  in  a  wind  and  thorough  draught  that 
would  kill  many  people.  She  is  very  strong,  full  of 
energy,  and  can  stand  indefinitely  herself.    I  some- 


i68         FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

times  find  it  all  I  can  do  to  hold  up  to  the  end  of  my 
waiting." 

Lady  Ely,  who  was  the  wife  of  the  third  Mar- 
quess, was  for  years  Lady  of  the  Bed-chamber  to 
Queen  Victoria,  and  was  the  most  charming  per- 
son. Everybody  who  had  any  favour  to  ask  from 
Her  Majesty  used  to  ask  Lady  Ely  to  see  what  she 
could  do,  knowing  how  much  the  Queen  liked  her 
and  what  influence  she  had.  It  was  she  who  at 
Colonel  Fred  Burnaby's  instigation  asked  the  Queen 
if  she  would  reinstate  Valentine  Baker  in  the  army, 
and  was  told  she  had  already  offered  to  do  so,  but 
he  had  expressed  himself  as  unable  to  accept  any 
favour  at  the  hands  of  the  Queen  after  the  way  she 
had  supported  Miss  Dickinson  at  the  trial,  and  sent 
her  a  signed  photograph. 

Once  when  Lady  Ely  was  asked  which  of  the 
Royal  Family  she  liked  best,  she  said,  "The  Queen, 
she  is  always  so  courteous  and  expresses  herself  as 
so  grateful  for  anything  that  is  done  for  her,  mak- 
ing it  a  pleasure  if  we  can  be  of  any  service."  Then 
when  asked  which  she  liked  least,  replied  likewise, 
without  any  hesitation,  "The  German  Emperor, 
he  is  so  over-bearing  and  often  rude.  The  only 
person  on  earth  of  whom  he  stands  in  the  least  awe 
is  Queen  Victoria,  his  grandmother.  He  behaves 
very  nicely  in  her  presence,  but  when  staying  once 
at  Osborne  in  the  Queen's  later  years,  news  reached 
Her  Majesty  that  her  grandson  had  been  up  early 
and  with  the  gardeners,  asking  all  sorts  of  ques- 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS  169 

tions  and  ferreting  about.  The  riot  act  was  read 
to  him  and  he  did  not  like  it." 

I  always  thought  the  Queen  a  pathetic  little  fig- 
ure and  so  extraordinarily  kind.  Once  when  she 
heard  I  was  in  great  sorrow  she  sent  Lady  Downe 
to  see  me  to  express  her  sympathy,  and  later  com- 
manded me  to  Windsor  where  she  showed  such 
tenderness  and  feeling  that  I  quite  forgot  to  be 
stilted  and  when  in  reply  to  a  remark  of  hers  I  so 
far  forgot  myself  as  to  say,  "Happiness  unshared 
has  no  taste,"  I  think  we  both  had  to  restrain  our 
feeling,  or  we  should  have  fallen  into  each  other's 
arms,  for  tears  were  in  her  eyes  and  voice,  as  well 
as  mine. 

The  Royal  Family  are  all  good  at  making 
speeches,  considering  how  little  there  is  that  they 
may  say.  King  Edward  VII  was  of  course  the 
best.  He  had  the  happy  knack  of  leaving  the  im- 
pression that  he  had  said  a  great  deal  more  than 
he  really  had.  The  Queen  hated  having  to  make 
a  speech,  and  seldom  did  so,  but  when  it  was  un- 
avoidable she  spoke  clearly  and  with  no  hesitation. 
She  spoke  at  the  opening  of  the  Imperial  Institute, 
but  was  obviously  nervous.  Many  are  still  living 
who  can  remember  her  faithful  servant- friend  and 
adviser,  John  Brown,  who  seldom  left  her  side.  He 
was  not  a  favourite  with  the  rest  of  the  Royal 
Family. 

When  Her  Majesty  was  in  residence  at  Osborne 
she  used  to  breakfast  in  the  grounds  and  attend  to 
her  correspondence  there,  the  faithful  John  Brown 


170         FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

in  highland  kit  being  at  her  side — I  wonder  where 
the  garden-seat  is  now  ? — on  which  she  always  sat 
and  which  bore  the  following  inscription: — 

"To  the  Memory  of  John  Brown,  a  devoted  and 
attached  servant  and  friend  of  Victoria  R.I." 

He  died  in  1883.  A  slight  idea  of  how  entirely 
he  was  part  of  her  life  and  how  she  had  grown  to 
lean  on  him  may  be  gathered  from  the  following. 
When  she  was  travelling  in  Scotland,  and  was 
passing  the  shooting  lodge  of  the  Sutherlands 
where  they  were  at  the  time,  she  told  John  Brown, 
who  as  usual  was  sitting  behind  her  in  his  dicky 
seat,  that  she  wished  to  stop  and  call  on  the  Suther- 
lands. They  asked  the  Queen  to  get  out  of  the 
carriage  and  go  in  and  have  some  tea,  but  she  de- 
clined until  John  Brown  leaned  over  and  said,  "I 
would  if  I  were  you.  It  will  warm  you  up."'  No 
doubt  he  had  one  eye  on  his  own  "in'ards,"  which 
were  feeling  cold,  as  well  as  an  eye  on  the  comfort 
of  the  Queen. 

Again  when  at  Baveno  on  the  Italian  Lakes,  the 
Queen  was  in  the  garden  of  the  hotel  waiting  for 
Brown.  When  he  appeared  she  said,  'T  have  been 
waiting  for  you."  Instead  of  apologies  and  falling 
flat  on  his  face,  he  replied,  "Well,  I  must  say  you 
look  very  summery,"  she  being  in  her  usual  straw 
hat,  white  Cashmere  shawl  and  elastic-sided  boots, 
but  had  on  a  white  veil  to  save  her  eyes  a  little. 

Cashmere  shawls  were  always  kept  in  stock  for 
presents,  and  beautifully  silky  and  soft  they  were. 
I  had  one,  but  it  was  left  in  India  wrapped  round 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS         171 

something  very  tender  and  precious  in  an  Indian 
cemetery. 

At  Balmoral  there  is  a  statue  erected  by  order  of 
the  Queen  to  John  Brown's  memory,  a  tombstone 
in  Crathie  churchyard  for  which  she  invited  Lord 
Tennyson  to  suggest  an  inscription,  and  at  Osborne 
the  granite  seat  with  the  pathetic  words  to  his 
memory. 

Once  when  driving  through  the  gates  of  Bucking- 
ham Palace,  a  youth,  named  Arthur  Connor,  who 
pretended  he  was  a  Fenian,  pointed  an  unloaded 
pistol  at  Her  Majesty.  He  was  at  once  seized  by 
John  Brown  who,  to  commemorate  his  vigilance, 
was  presented  with  a  medal  and  a  small  (very 
small)  annuity  of  £25. 

Turning  over  some  old  notes  and  letters  a  short 
time  ago  I  came  across  one  asking  me  to  go  to 
Marlborough  House  and  advise  about  some  things 
wanted  for  Princess  Louise's  wedding  with  the 
Duke  of  Fife.  The  Princess  Royal  has  much  the 
same  gentle  manner  and  dignity  of  her  mother; 
more  so  than  either  of  her  sisters.  She  has  a  little 
of  that  look  of  almost  sad  enquiry  that  is  so  attract- 
ive in  Queen  Alexandra. 

I  think  I  must  have  heard  the  Duke  of  Con- 
naught  make  his  first  speech  when  he  came  to  Mid- 
dlesborough  to  open  a  park  for  the  people,  a  present 
to  the  borough  from  Mr.  Bolckow,  head  of  the  now 
world-famed  iron  and  steel  works. 

Having  made  his  fortune  in  these  works,  Mr. 
Bolckow  was  anxious  to  leave  some  lasting  re- 


172         FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

membrance  of  the  years  he  had  toiled,  at  first  with 
hands  and  then  with  brain  while  making  his  vast 
fortune. 

I  was  a  small  child  at  the  time  and  was  taken  by 
my  people  to  the  station  to  meet  the  Prince,  who 
had  been  sent  down  to  begin  and  relieve  his  elder 
brother  of  some  of  the  many  dull  and  tiresome 
ceremonies  that  were  his  almost  daily  bill  of  fare. 

I  do  not  know  exactly  what  I  expected  to  see; 
possibly  something  after  the  fashion  of  Prince  Bo- 
hoo  in  my  fairy  tales,  but  I  remember  being  great- 
ly disappointed  that  there  was  no  glitter,  no  crown, 
no  golden  wands,  nothing  but  a  rather  delicate- 
looking  nervous  young  man  in  plain  every-day 
clothes  who  read  a  speech  in  which  amongst  other 
things  that  I  have  since  heard  many  times,  he  said, 
"]\Iy  beloved  mother  will  be  glad  I  know  to  hear 
of  the  kind  reception  you  have  given  to  me  on  this 
auspicious  occasion,"  etc.  There  was  a  little  ner- 
vous halting  once  or  twice,  followed  by  a  little 
prompting  from  some  rather  funereal-looking  men 
standing  behind  the  Prince.  Even  at  that  early 
age  I  felt  sorry  for  him.  He  had  not  then  ac- 
quired the  easy  flow  of  language  which  came  later, 
and  is  peculiar  to  our  Royalties. 

Mr.  Bolckow,  the  host  of  Prince  Arthur,  was  a 
dear  old  man  who  lived  in  great  magnificence  in  an 
uncomfortable  sort  of  way  in  a  big  red-brick  house 
requiring  centuries  to  soften  its  crudeness.  It  stood 
well  exposed  to  the  high  road  in  a  field  or  two 
sparsely  timbered,  railed  in  with  high  iron  railings 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS  173 

to  protect  the  deer  and  gas-lamps  that  abounded  in 
the  enclosure,  through  which  with  several  gates  ran 
an  asphalt  drive. 

The  house  at  Marton  was  stored  with  priceless 
pictures,  statues  and  bric-a-brac.  I  well  remember 
Mr.  Bolckow  and  his  sweet  little  wife  in  those  days. 
I  think  they  were  Germans  and  certainly  spoke 
English  with  an  accent  and  absence  of  aspirates.  A 
few  days  before  the  arrival  of  the  Prince  I  had 
been  taken  to  see  the  room  being  prepared  for  his 
occupation  where  everything  was  white,  blue  and 
gold.  The  carpet  was  blue,  crockery-blue  and  gold, 
curtains  blue  satin  "which  stood  by  itself"  like  the 
satin  gowns  of  our  grandmothers.  (How  uncom- 
fortable they  must  have  been. )  Blue  satin  curtains 
to  the  bed  with  beautiful  deep  fringe  to  tickle  the 
Prince's  nose  as  he  got  into  bed.  It  was  at  the  end 
of  the  time  when  to  lie  in  bed  without  curtains  to 
draw  round  was  the  height  of  indecency. 

Mr.  Bolckow  asked  me  if  I  would  like  to  see  the 
"  'orses"  being  drilled  and  broken  in  to  make 
sure  of  their  steadiness  when  bringing  the  Prince 
through  crowded  streets. 

It  was  very  exciting  watching  the  horses  learn- 
ing their  work;  they  were  splendidly  matched. 
Anyone  unused  to  horses  might  have  found  it  diffi- 
cult to  tell  one  from  the  other  so  exactly  alike  were 
the  four,  while  the  postilions  might  have  been  twins. 

School  children  had  been  collected  to  shout  hur- 
rahs. Bands  played  with  big  drums  booming  in 
the  animals'  ears. 


174         FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

I  wonder  if  the  Prince  was  as  elated  as  we  were 
with  the  grandeur  of  the  carriage  and  perfections 
of  the  horses.  He  may  have  been  bored  to  tears, 
even  longing  for  the  horses  to  have  a  kick  up  to 
relieve  his  monotony,  if  so  we  never  knew  it. 

My  hand  was  being  held  by  Mr.  Bolckow  while 
watching  the  horses  and,  as  everything  was  work- 
ing smoothly,  we  ventured  quite  near  to  the  obe- 
dient animals,  when  an  extra  blare  from  a  trumpet 
combined  with  an  extra  big  boom  from  the  drum 
caused  one  of  the  leaders  to  rear  up  and  very  near- 
ly fall  back  on  top  of  us.  In  our  hasty  retreat  I 
fell  down,  embedded  my  knees  in  the  gravel  and 
dirtied  my  best  frock. 

Mrs.  Bolckow,  who  had  come  to  look  for  us, 
turned  round  a  corner  at  this  moment  and,  seeing 
her  husband  picking  gravel  from  my  knees  and 
dusting  me  down,  exclaimed,  **0h !  my  dear,  what 
'ave  you  done."  "Nufing,"  he  replied  angrily;  *T 
'aven't  done  nufing." 

But  I  must  hark  back  to  the  Prince  who  seemed 
greatly  relieved  when  his  speech  was  ofif  his  mind. 

There  was  a  ball  in  the  evening  at  which  I  am 
told  the  Prince  danced  and  seemed  to  enjoy  him- 
self. Rather  a  pretty  Miss  Branwell  was  staying 
with  my  people  and  went  to  the  ball  with  them; 
she  was  chosen  by  the  Prince  to  be  one  of  his  part- 
ners, which  pleased  her.  Next  day  I  heard  her 
talking  about  this  honour  and  gathered  she  thought 
the  Prince  very  charming  but  that  his  dancing  did 
not  live  up  to  the  rest  of  him. 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS  175 

It  was  then  the  fashion  to  dance  the  "deux- 
temps"  fast  and  furiously,  it  consisted  of  turning 
round  very  often  and  very  fast,  followed  by  con- 
siderable breathlessness. 

After  the  Prince's  departure,  Mr.  Bolckow  was 
offered  a  knighthood,  but  with  grateful  thanks  de- 
clined it.  I  heard  a  small  rude  boy  say  "he  had  no 
use  for  it." 

A  great  picture  expert  had  carte  blanche  to  fill 
the  house  with  all  the  best  pictures  money  could 
procure.  They  were  not  chosen  with  a  view  to  the 
house,  so  the  home  had  to  be  altered  for  the  pic- 
tures. 

A  special  wide  white  marble  staircase  was  built 
with  a  good  head  light,  under  which  on  a  landing 
half-way  up  the  stairs  stood  Landseer's  "Monarch 
of  the  Glen,"  for  which  6900  guineas  was  paid. 
I  am  writing  from  memory  and  it  may  not  have 
been  that  particular  picture,  though  I  think  it  was. 
I  clearly  remember,  however,  a  noble  stag  standing 
listening,  painted  by  Landseer — half-way  up  the 
white  marble  stairs ;  the  effect  from  the  bottom  was 
grand. 

The  owner  of  all  these  luxuries  was  a  kind- 
hearted  charitable  man,  but  in  many  ways  careful 
of  his  pennies.  I  had  luncheon  with  him  and  his 
wife  in  Prince's  Gate  shortly  before  he  died.  It  was 
rather  pitiful  to  see  a  millionaire  sitting  at  a  table 
laden  with  gold  plate,  delicate  viands,  beautiful 
fruits,  sweets,  and  flowers.  He  was  unable  to  en- 
joy any  of  the  good  things;  a  small  fried  whiting 


176         FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

by  the  doctor's  orders  came  in  on  a  special  dish  for 
him,  which  he  ate  listlessly.  He  left  an  enormous 
fortune,  but  having  no  children  it  was  most  of  it 
settled  on  his  nephew,  another  Bolckow,  but  the 
terms  and  wording  of  the  will  were  such  as  very 
nearly  to  ruin  the  unfortunate  man.  As  far  as  I 
can  remember  a  certain  portion  of  income  had  to  be 
set  apart  and  a  certain  sum  spent  yearly  on  buying 
land. 

His  widow  was  left  with  the  house  in  Prince's 
Gate  and  what  most  people  would  consider  a  com- 
fortable fortune. 

Latterly  she  had  so  entirely  lost  her  nerve  that 
she  dare  not  drive  in  her  own  carriage,  but  fre- 
quented the  homely  and,  as  she  thought,  safer 
penny  bus. 

Some  of  Mr.  Bolckow's  expressions  were  amus- 
ing. Once  at  breakfast,  when  he  thought  I  was 
not  eating  enough,  he  said,  "Oh,  do  allow  me  to 
press  an  egg  upon  you." 

He  was  a  tactful  host.  One  night  when  all  the 
big-wigs,  who  always  flutter  round  those  who  have 
acquired  great  wealth,  had  been  invited  to  dine 
before  a  General  Election  that  was  in  the  offing, 
two  big  local  landlords  became  so  quarrelsome  that 
most  of  those  at  the  table  held  their  breath  wonder- 
ing who  would  come  to  blows  first,  when,  with  some 
dignity,  the  little  round-about,  grey-haired,  square- 
bearded  host  stood  up  and  said,  "I  tink,  gentlemen, 
if  you  'ave  had  enuf  vine  ve  vill  adjourn  dis  meet- 
ing and  join  de  ladies.'* 


CHAPTER  IX 

Some  of  the  Author's  Loves — Old  Joseph  and  his  Ewe- 
Lamb — Homeless  Reuben  Stride — His  temperament  and 
Philosophy — Brusher  Mills,  the  Snake  Charmer — His 
Home-made  Abode — A  Temple  of  Romance — A  Store- 
house of  Treasures — A  Lovish  Baptist  Minister — His 
Love  Letter — Author's  Vanity  receives  a  Rude  Shock — 
Her  Successor. 

I  HAVE  had  a  number  of  loves  in  my  life, 
which  sounds  indiscreet  and  exciting.  Many 
of  them  have  been  amongst  the  poor,  the  very 
poor.  Their  patience,  faith,  pessimism  and  fru- 
gality of  their  lives  have  often  appealed  strongly 
to  me.  Having  written  of  so  many  friends  in  the 
social  world,  I  would  like  to  introduce  one  or  two 
in  other  walks  of  life  who  have  interested  me. 

Old  Joseph  was  one  of  my  loves;  he  was  a  farm 
labourer  living  in  one  of  our  cottages.  His  un- 
selfishness, faith  and  goodness  taught  me  many  les- 
sons. He  had  lost  both  his  wife  and  only  son,  all 
that  was  left  to  him  was  a  little  daughter  barely 
seventeen,  his  ewe-lamb  and  housekeeper,  and  the 
same  dread  disease  was  going  to  carry  her  away. 
His  one  thought  was  to  give  her  everything  she 
wanted  and  to  do  all  the  work  to  save  her  strength 
from  being  taxed.  Eefore  going  to  his  daily  labour 
in  the  morning  he  washed  the  floor,  cooked  some 

177 


178         FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

potatoes  ready  for  his  daughter's  dinner  and  his 
supper  in  the  evening,  besides  numerous  other  small 
household  duties. 

I  added  my  little  endeavours,  but  we  could  not 
save  her. 

Joseph  was  rather  peculiar  and,  when  his  neigh- 
bours offered  to  help  him,  he  said  that  he  did  not 
"warnt  any  of  them  messing  about  his  place."  I 
sympathised  in  a  measure,  for  he  kept  it  beautifully 
clean,  which  is  more  than  some  of  his  neighbours 
would  have  done.  Both  he  and  his  daughter  set 
their  faces  strongly  against  a  nurse.  Here  again 
I  sympathised,  knowing  from  experience  what 
trouble  they  give  in  a  house.  In  cottages  I  have 
seen  them  intolerable,  tearing  up  the  meagre  stock 
of  night-dresses,  throwing  things  about  and  leav- 
ing everything  dirty  and  in  confusion. 

So  between  us,  old  Joseph  and  I,  we  nursed  the 
girl. 

One  day,  when  I  had  been  some  time  by  the  bed- 
side, I  saw  that  the  end  was  near,  so  when  the  old 
man  came  in  at  night  I  crept  out,  thinking  he  would 
like  to  be  alone  with  his  bairn.  It  is  seldom  there 
is  any  intermediate  stage  with  the  poor  between 
living  and  dying,  either  they  are  well  and  live,  or 
are  ill  and  die ;  they  cannot  afford  to  indulge  in  any 
between  stages.  I  could  not  rest  that  night  and, 
^^•hen  all  the  household  had  gone  to  bed,  I  sat  by 
the  open  French  windows  leading  on  to  a  terrace, 
the  moon  looking  coldly  at  me.  I  was  thinking  of 
things  as  they  are  and  as  they  might  be,  and  ask- 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS  179 

ing  for  comfort  for  old  Joseph,  when  I  heard  foot- 
steps coming  up  the  gravel  and  on  to  the  terrace. 
Joseph  was  staggering  towards  me  as  if  his  legs 
would  hardly  carry  him.  I  was  in  the  presence  of 
desperate  grief.  Words  would  have  seemed  sac- 
rilege. He  came  towards  me  shuffling  his  feet  as 
though  he  did  not  see  where  he  was  going,  and 
stood  in  front  of  me  twiddling  the  blind  cord,  a 
picture  of  despair. 

Bare-headed,  his  hair  ruffled  and  untidy,  his  toil- 
bent  back  more  humped  than  ever,  his  pathetic  blue 
eyes  filled  with  unshed  tears  that  forbade  him 
speaking,  tears  the  more  painful  that  they  would 
fall  back  upon  his  heart  unshed.  Just  for  a  moment 
the  moon  in  pity  hid  her  face,  still  he  did  not  speak, 
so  I  put  my  hand  on  his  and  said,  "I  know,  Joseph." 
That  broke  the  spell,  in  a  low  husky  voice  he  said, 
"S'cuse  me,  marm" — a  pause,  while  he  tried  to 
moisten  his  dry  lips,  then  with  a  burst  of  agony  he 
almost  screamed,  "She's  garn.  Oh — oh — she's 
garn."  In  the  silence  of  the  night  with  no  light 
save  the  moon  it  sounded  like  a  voice  from  another 
world,  where,  maybe,  souls  are  in  torture.  Then 
with  another  heartrending  cry  he  threw  out  his 
arms  towards  the  moon  with  uplifted  face,  "She's 
garn,  my  wee  bit  lassie" ;  then  turned  and  stumbled 
away  holding  his  head  between  his  hands. 

At  first  I  thought  it  might  be  kind  to  leave  him 
alone,  then,  remembering  he  had  sought  me  in  his 
sorrow,  I  gathered  some  flowers  from  the  conserv- 
atory and  followed  him. 


i8o         FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

He  was  lying  face  down  on  the  sofa  in  the  kitch- 
en of  his  cottage.  As  he  did  not  move  or  speak,  I 
went  up  to  the  sick  room,  thinking  I  would  move 
some  of  the  dear  accustomed  things  it  is  such  an 
agony  to  see  when  the  owner  wants  them  no  more, 
and  put  them  away  for  a  while.  I  then  made  the 
bed  straight  and  arranged  all  as  it  should  be,  laid 
some  flowers  in  her  hands  and  around  her  pretty 
fair  hair  on  the  pillow.  Then,  pouring  out  some 
brandy  and  water  from  a  bottle  we  had  been  using 
for  the  invalid,  took  it  to  Joseph  on  the  sofa  and 
made  him  drink  it. 

I  then  led  him  upstairs;  neither  of  us  spoke. 
When  he  entered  the  room  and  found  the  pain- 
tossed  pillows  smooth,  the  now  beautiful  little  face 
surrounded  with  a  halo  of  tidy  hair  and  flowers,  all 
looking  peaceful  and  comfortable,  a  great  sigh  of 
relief  escaped  him  and  he  wrung  the  perspiration 
from  his  brow  and  flung  it  to  the  ground.  I  pulled 
him  down  beside  me  and  sang  softly  the  hymn  that 
comes  back  to  us  all  some  time  in  our  lives. 

"My  God,  my  Father,  while  I  stray, 
Far  from  my  home  on  life's  rough  way. 
Teach  me  from  my  heart  to  say, 
Thy  will  be  done." 

When  I  came  to  the  verse, 

"If  thou  shouldst  call  me  to  resign, 
What  most  I  prize,  it  ne'er  was  mine, 
I  only  yield  thee  what  is  thine. 
Thy  will  be  done." 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS         i8i 

my  friend,  now  shaken  with  sobs,  put  out  one 
trembling  hand  and  stroked  the  soft  fluffy  hair, 
murmuring,  "Aie — aie "  and  I  left  him. 

That  night  seemed  more  beautiful  than  any  I 
had  known  before,  and  I  rested  by  a  gate  seized 
with  the  everlasting  wonder,  "Why?"  Why  must 
pain,  ugliness  and  sorrow  walk  ever  hand  in  hand 
with  joy,  life  and  such  a  beautiful  world?  The  dew 
was  heavy  and  drove  me  home  trying  to  find  com- 
fort in  the  thought  "there  can  be  no  morning  with- 
out a  night." 

Not  long  after  this  an  accident  laid  me  low. 
Every  night  as  Joseph  left  work  he  came  to  ask  for 
me,  and  enquire  if  I  would  give  him  the  happiness 
of  doing  something  for  me.  Most  mornings  he 
brought  a  fresh  egg  laid  by  his  own  fowls,  a  trout, 
some  offering,  and  one  day  the  first  rose  from  off  a 
little  tree  he  and  I  had  planted  on  the  grave  of  the 
"wee  bit  lassie." 

Later  again,  when  the  Reaper  with  the  sickle 
visited  my  home,  Joseph  would  allow  no  one  to 
touch  the  grave  but  himself,  and  he  spent  some  of 
his  poor  little  savings  on  wire  hairpins  and  other 
things  wherewith  to  make  the  resting-place  a  bower 
of  flowers  and  moss.  He  wished  me  to  find  the 
comfort  he  had  experienced  when  he  saw  every- 
thing cared  for  in  his  bairn's  room.  This  he  ex- 
plained to  me  in  rough  though  tender  words. 

And  now  Joseph  is  no  more,  and  there  are  no 
little  Josephs  left.  I  wish  there  were,  with  his 
heart  of  gold.     He  was  one  of  my  loves. 


i82         FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

Another  love,  though  a  less  intimate  one,  was 
Reuben  Stride,  whom  T  called  the  nineteenth-cen- 
tury philosopher.  He  was  a  well-known  figure 
in  the  New  Forest,  and  was,  I  am  sorry  to  say, 
run  over  by  a  motor-car  about  a  couple  of  years 
ago  and  killed, — at  least  he  died  as  a  result  of  the 
accident. 

In  this  mind-our-own-business  world  how  little 
we  know  of  the  many  tragedies  and  dramas  being 
enacted  all  around  us,  under  our  very  noses.  We 
hear  of  people  who,  by  accident  or  disease,  are 
bed-ridden  for  thirty  or  forty  years;  it  is  no  un- 
common occurrence.  But  it  is  surprising  to  find 
in  England,  close  to  our  doors  as  it  were,  a  man 
hale  and  hearty  over  seventy  years  old,  who  has 
not  slept  in  a  bed  for  more  than  fifty  years,  yet 
such  was  the  case  with  Reuben  Stride,  There  is 
something  grand  and  pathetic  in  his  fine  old  face. 
Look  at  it.  Every  line  tells  a  tale  of  endurance, 
storms  weathered,  struggles  of  mind  as  well  as 
body,  and  maybe  faith,  hope  and  charity. 

Surely  with  a  head  like  that  there  must  have 
been  brains  above  the  average,  a  kind  heart  with 
that  benevolent  nose,  eyes  looking  at  nothing  but 
seeing  much,  hidden  under  that  rugged  moustache 
and  beard  a  determined  mouth  and  chin,  the 
whole  reminding  one  of  a  splendid  rock  standing 
out  at  sea  all  alone;  mellowed  and  rounded  by 
time  and  many  tides. 

You  will  ask  how  comes  it  this  interesting  study 
found  no  pillow  for  his  head  during  all  these  long 


Reuben  vStride,  a  Nineteenth-Century  Philosopher 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS         183 

years?  He  would  like  to  have  told  you  himself, 
but  as  he  cannot  I  will. 

That  determined  hidden-away  mouth  and  chin 
had  something  to  do  with  it,  for  he  could  brook 
no  restraint,  rules  or  regulations.  When  seven- 
teen he  entered  the  Navy.  After  serving  eighteen 
months  he  could  stand  it  no  longer,  and  came  to 
the  conclusion  the  life  did  not  suit  him.  The  strict 
discipline  did  not  appeal  to  him,  and  he  saw  that 
if  he  remained  there  it  would  only  mean  trouble 
and  ructions,  so  he  deserted.  For  some  time  he 
evaded  capture,  hiding  here  and  there,  always  in 
fear  of  being  traced,  until  one  day  it  actually  hap- 
pened, and  he  was  taken  back  a  captive  to  be 
rigorously  "broken  in."  In  spite  of  all  punish- 
ments he  absolutely  refused  to  obey  any  orders, 
and  at  last  the  authorities  were  thankful  to  get 
rid  of  him. 

In  recounting  his  experiences  the  old  man  used 
to  say,  'T  tole  'em  they  could  kill  me,  but  I  wouldn't 
do  it."  So  he  was  discharged  with  what  it  was 
hoped  he  would  consider  "ignomy." 

Being  one  of  Nature's  roamers,  Reuben  could  not 
live  by  rule ;  his  wants  were  few  and  simple,  but  he 
must  be  in  the  open  air  and  free  to  roam  at  will 
amongst  all  the  things  he  loved,  things  that  count 
for  so  little  to  many  but  were  great  to  this  philos- 
opher. The  sun,  moon,  stars,  birds  and  beasts  all 
loved  companions,  filling  his  heart  with  peace  and 
content,  leaving  no  room  for  fractiousness. 

After  his  discharge  he  wandered  about  Berkshire 


i84         FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

and  Wiltshire  working  here  and  there  as  a  labourer. 
Then  for  some  years  he  was  employed  as  a  carter 
in  one  situation  in  the  New  Forest,  a  life  much  more 
suited  to  his  temperament.  During  the  last  fifteen 
or  sixteen  years  he  found  employment  as  a  cattle- 
driver,  which  most  people  consider  a  trying  heart- 
breaking task,  for  the  poor  beasts  get  so  frightened 
and  distracted  they  do  not  know  what  they  are 
doing  and  have  a  cussed  way  of  invariably  going 
in  the  wrong  direction. 

This  work,  with  occasional  assistance  from  kind- 
hearted  people  in  the  New  Forest,  where  he  was  a 
familiar  figure,  enabled  him  to  subsist. 

When  asked  why  he  seemed  so  wobbly  on  his 
feet  when  standing  up  after  resting,  he  would  ex- 
plain that  he  "lost  both  his  great  toes  an'  some  o' 
t'others  through  frost  bite." 

There  is  something  fine  in  the  marvellous 
patience  of  the  poor,  and  the  religious  pessimism 
which  has  come  to  them  from  father  to  son  through 
countless  years  since  the  dawn  of  time  and  history. 

When  individualism  is  strong  it  goes  in  search  of 
truth  and  is  at  war  with  convention,  leaving  us  all 
in  different  premises,  philosophers  or  vagabonds. 

When  I  asked  Reuben  if  it  were  really  true  that  he 
had  not  slept  in  a  bed  for  fifty  years,  and  if  so  why 
the  police  had  not  interfered,  he  replied,  "Oh  yes, 
that's  all  right  enough.  I've  slep'  out  more  'an 
fifty  years,  and  allers  kep'  myself  clean  and  decent. 
P'leece!  They  dont  take  no  note  o'  me,  they  know 
I  ain't  no  biding  place,  nobody  meddles  o'  me.     I 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS         185 

never  carries  no  lucifers  yer  know,  an'  if  the  p'leece 
wants  to  take  me  I  sh'd  say,  'Yo  jess  go  to  so-and- 
so,'  wherever  I  was  sleeping,  an'  they'd  say,  *oh, 
he's  all  right,  let  un  bide,  don't  you  meddle  along 
o'  he.'  " 

When  friends  offered  him  a  bed  he  declined, 
custom  had  heightened  the  spell  of  his  quaint  rest- 
ing-places, he  was  happier  under  the  stars  or  among 
the  straw. 

His  face  spoke  of  hard  times  but  a  placid  resigna- 
tion, that  birthright  of  the  unambitious.  He  argued 
to  himself  philosophically  that  he  would  rather  have 
frost-bitten  toes  of  his  own  choosing,  than  those 
ordained  for  him  by  other  people.  There  he  has  my 
sympathy. 

Some  people  said  he  was  mad,  but  he  was  far 
from  it.  I  have  observed  a  tendency  amongst  the 
common  crowd  to  consider  as  mad  everybody  they 
do  not  understand. 

I  was  a  great  admirer  of  old  Reuben,  and  am 
contemplating  putting  up  over  his  grave: 

"To  the  Memory  of  a  dear  old  19th  Century 
Philosopher. 

"To  sleep  and  take  my  rest, 
The  old  sea  at  my  door, 
The  grey  hills  there  in  the  west, 
What  can  a  man  want  more  ?" 

The  New  Forest  teems  with  people,  places  and 
things  of  interest.  I  have  heaps  of  loves  there. 
The  little  ponies,  children  of  adversity,  about  whom 


i86         FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

I  could  write  for  a  week  without  stopping  and  be 
happy  all  the  time;  the  gypsies,  about  whom  there 
is  so  much  that  is  intensely  interesting  that  I  have 
never  seen  in  print,  and  of  whom  I  have  the  most 
beautiful  and  uncommon  photographs.  In  fact  the 
New  Forest  is  one  of  the  earth's  storehouses.  In 
it  one  gets  very  near  the  "Peace  that  passeth 
understanding."  The  glorious  old  trees  with  arms 
spread  out  and  joining  over  our  heads  in  benedic- 
tion, the  bracken  waving  and  whispering  at  our 
feet. 

The  Greeks  consecrated  each  favourite  wood  and 
grove  to  some  Divinity.  Wise  old  Greeks !  During 
New  Forest  rambles  many  other  intimate  friend- 
ships are  formed  as  well  as  with  the  ponies.  There 
is  something  about  the  Forest  that  makes  one 
moralise.  Perhaps  it  is  the  dear  beautiful  trees, 
companions  that  never  fail  us.  Nature  loves  them 
as  much  as  I  do,  and  deals  so  gently  with  them  in 
their  old  age,  covering  up  all  their  infirmities, 
draping  them  with  moss  and  lichen,  twining  round 
them  ivy,  clematis  and  woodbine  for  support  in 
their  old  age,  in  return  for  the  help  extended  to 
them  in  their  youth  by  their  life-long  friends  the 
trees. 

Another  of  my  New  Forest  loves  was  ''Brusher 
Mills,"  the  snake-charmer.  The  name  bestowed  on 
him  by  his  parents  and  godparents  was  "Harry" 
Mills,  but  he  was  better  known  as  "Brusher  Mills." 
We  often  hear  of  snake  charmers  in  the  east,  but 
not  often  in  the  west.     Strictly  speaking  he  was 


Brusher  Mills  of  the  New  Forest 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS         187 

no  charmer,  but  found  it  convenient  so  to  describe 
himself,  as  he  had  to  make  his  living  somehow,  and 
the  reptiles  had  an  attraction  for  him.  It  does  not 
sound  as  though  it  would  be  a  very  lucrative  calling, 
but  when  that  stern  mother.  Necessity,  puts  her  foot 
down,  and  we  are  thrown  upon  our  own  resources, 
it  is  wonderful  what  we  can  do. 

Snake  catching  or  "charming,"  as  Mills  would 
call  it,  as  a  means  of  making  a  living,  would  not 
appeal  to  everybody,  but  he  was  an  expert  and  had 
acquired  that  familiarity  that  is  supposed  to  breed 
contempt.    He  had  no  fear  of  any  snake. 

There  is  something  weird  and  yet  fascinating  in 
the  idea  of  living  all  alone  day  and  night  for  nine- 
teen years  in  the  midst  of  that  Temple  of  Romance, 
the  New  Forest,  in  a  home-made  hut,  composed  of 
branches  and  stems  of  trees  arranged  in  conical 
form  assisted  with  peat  to  keep  out  the  wind  and 
rain,  his  closest  companions  the  English  snakes, 
with  whose  whims  and  abodes  he  was  so  well  ac- 
quainted, yet  in  this  hut  and  all  alone  Mills  lived 
for  nineteen  years. 

The  first  thing  that  occurred  to  the  mind  of  those 
interested  in  this  strange  old  man  was  what  he  did 
with  the  snakes  and  how  he  caught  them.  He  made 
no  secret  of  the  fact  that,  at  one  time,  he  made  a 
small  income  by  supplying  the  Zoo  with  snakes  to 
satisfy  the  appetites  of  some  of  the  inhabitants. 
Latterly  he  gained  a  precarious  living  by  displaying 
his  snake-charming  gifts  to  tourists  and  trippers. 

He  did  a  fair  trade  by  describing  to  those  really 


i88         FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

interested  the  difference  between,  and  peculiarities 
of,  the  three  EngHsh  snakes.  He  was  usually  well 
rewarded.  He  also  made  and  sold  wonderful  con- 
coctions procured  by  boiling  down  adders  and 
securing  the  fat  to  act  as  antitoxin  for  snake  bites, 
cure  rheumatism,  and  other  maladies,  loudly  prais- 
ing their  virtues.  Heaven  alone  knows  what  the 
poor  souls  who  bought  the  mixture  did  with  them, 
w^hether  they  drank  some  in  their  tea  or  mixed  it 
in  poultices,  or  used  it  as  a  cure  for  housemaid's 
knee;  there  seemed  to  be  no  end  to  its  possibilities. 

When  starting  out  to  catch  snakes  he  wore  no 
gloves  or  protection  of  any  kind  for  his  hands.  His 
hunting  kit,  indeed  his  only  kit,  everyday  and  Sun- 
day alike,  consisted  of  a  greatcoat  or  two,  given  to 
him  by  admirers  and  friends.  They  were  usually 
worn  one  on  top  of  the  other,  and  had  capacious 
pockets  added  by  himself.  He  wore  big  thick  laced- 
boots  surmounted  by  the  most  wonderful  thing  in 
gaiters,  made  regardless  of  pattern  or  shape,  which 
arranged  themselves  in  concertina-like  crinks  and 
folds  around  his  legs  till  they  reached  his  knees, 
where  they  were  welcomed  by  still  more  concertina- 
like trouser  knees.  My  own  impression  is  he  made 
them  both  himself,  got  into  them  somehow,  leaving 
time  and  chance  to  do  the  rest. 

A  felt  hat  that  may  once  have  been  black  and 
beautiful  completed  this  toilet,  but  it  was  no  longer 
black,  rather  a  picturesque  purple,  green  and  grey, 
souvenirs  from  wind,  sun  and  rain.  That  was  all, 
except  a  many-hued  handkerchief  tied  around  his 


%k*^    .  .'Is 


CQ 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS         189 

neck.  Doubtless  there  were  nether  garments  of 
sorts,  but  if  one  might  judge  by  the  display  on 
washing  day,  when  they  were  hung  up  to  dry,  his 
wardrobe  was  not  extensive. 

The  paraphernalia  of  his  craft  was  simple  in  the 
extreme,  consisting  of  a  long  forked  stick  to  arrest 
the  snakes,  a  pair  of  long  tongs  with  which  to  pick 
them  up  and  a  tall,  rather  narrow  can  or  pail  to 
place  them  in.    This  he  carried  by  a  handle. 

How  the  snakes  were  killed  I  cannot  say  for 
certain,  as  Mills  was  not  communicative  as  to  his 
methods,  which,  however,  I  gathered  were  crude. 
He  was  clever  in  the  way  he  caught  hold  of  the 
reptiles,  pouncing  on  them  and  catching  them  with 
his  tongs  just  behind  his  head.  The  forcible  applica- 
tion of  the  tongs  obliged  their  mouths  to  be  kept 
open,  which  prevented  them  doing  any  harm  until 
he  had  manipulated  their  poisonous  organ. 

Moles  were  at  times  added  to  his  bag,  and  as  their 
skins  sell  well  he  probably  found  them  lucrative. 
During  his  sojourn  in  the  Forest  he  accounted  for 
an  enormous  number  of  snakes  and  moles. 

He  was  an  interesting  old  man,  and  remained 
unmarried,  preferring  to  live  in  the  peaceful  sur- 
roundings he  knew  to  the  possibly  less  peaceful  life 
of  matrimony.  Maybe  he  was  wise,  for  it  is  not 
every  woman  who  would  feel  content  and  happy  in 
such  a  rustic  homestead,  surrounded  by  snakes  in 
various  stages,  some  painfully  alive  and  frisky, 
others  dying  in  uncanny  wriggles  and  coils,  others 


190         FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

dead,  awaiting  transit  or  to  be  turned  into  "heal- 
alls." 

The  old  man's  speech  always  left  a  little  to  the 
imagination,  whether  from  living  alone  so  many- 
years,  or  from  having  no  roof  to  his  mouth,  it  is 
difficult  to  say,  but  it  was  not  easy  to  understand 
him.  Perhaps  it  was  as  well,  for  those  who  knew 
and  understood  him  best  said  that  when  man  or 
snake  exasperated  him  his  vocabulary  was  exten- 
sive and  profound,  in  fact  quite  prehistoric. 

He  died  suddenly  on  July  ist,  1905,  from  heart 
disease.  In  Brockenhurst  churchyard  is  a  carved 
marble  tombstone  to  the  memory  of  Brusher  Mills. 
It  was  erected  by  the  public.  The  carving  on  the 
stone  is  beautiful,  representing  Mills  standing  by 
his  self-made  hut,  with  snakes  in  his  hand^  pre- 
sumably ready  for  his  stock-pot.  The  workmanship 
is  masterly  and  delicate.  I  like  to  think  these  loves 
of  mine,  Reuben  Stride  and  Brusher  Mills,  are  rest- 
ing amidst  the  surroundings  they  loved  so  well. 

I  should  like  to  write  a  great  deal  about  the 
English  snakes.  Many  people  know  nothing  of 
them  or  their  habits,  but  this  is  not  the  place  for  me 
to  do  it,  and  I  might  bore  my  readers. 

Another  love  of  mine,  one  whom  I  did  not  love, 
but  who  took  it  into  his  head  that  he  loved  me,  was 
a  Welsh  Baptist  minister.  The  whole  affair  was 
very  funny.  We  were  renting  a  house  in  Wales 
for  shooting  and  fishing.  While  I  was  scrambling 
about  gathering  wild  flowers  on  the  property,  this 
minister  came  down  a  lane  close  to  me.     He  had 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS  191 

been  visiting  one  of  the  farms.  He  stood  and 
stared  at  me  rather  rudely  I  thought,  so  I  walked 
away. 

He  then  took  the  opportunity  to  hang  about  the 
place,  which  annoyed  me  very  much,  but  I  could 
say  nothing  as  he  found  it  convenient  to  try  and 
make  the  old  gardener  and  his  wife  Baptists,  and 
what  is  more  succeeded,  and  the  silly  old  gardener, 
who  had  been  twenty-eight  years  on  the  place,  sub- 
mitted to  being  baptised  in  a  neighbouring  pond, 
receiving  a  chill  from  which  before  long  he  died. 

In  consequence  of  his  (the  Baptist's)  attention 
to  his  new  converts  who  lived  at  the  lodge,  I  seldom 
could  go  in  that  direction  without  meeting  him  and 
having  to  listen  to  his  nonsense.  He  then  took  to 
writing  me  impassioned  letters  full  of  my  grace, 
charm,  etc.,  and  he  w^as  going  to  write  a  book  all 
about  me,  in  fact  aK  sorts  of  wonderful  things.  At 
last  he  became  so  annoying  I  put  the  matter  into  a 
local  solicitor's  hands,  and  that  made  an  end  to  it. 

His  letters,  partly  through  being  in  English,  out 
of  compliment  to  me,  which  was  a  language  of 
which  he  knew  little,  being  very  Welsh,  and  partly 
through  his  being  very  uneducated,  were  worthy  of 
Punch.  Once  he  wished  to  tell  me  he  had  waded 
through  a  field  of  wet  potatoes  to  catch  a  glimpse 
of  me.  This  was  the  way  he  expressed  it,  having 
evidently  sought  the  aid  of  a  dictionary. 

"Beautiful  lady.  My  harte  been  soar  in  me  be- 
lause  I  have  not  seen  you  late.  I  spend  a  wet 
afternoon  in  among  the  wet  potato  boughs  near 


192         FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

the  beds  of  the  dogs  hopping  for  a  site  of  the 
gracious  lady  and  her  smile.  Oh,  come  sweet  lady 
were  I  do  see  you.  I  eat  not,  I  sleep  not  for  the 
fretting  of  you.  Send  to  me  i.  kine  word  to  save 
your  humble  servant  and  slave,  or  I  may  do  a 
mischief  and  God  will  forgive  you  not." 

I  thought  the  potato  boughs  rather  nice.  He 
had  evidently  searched  for  a  suitable  word  to  de- 
scribe the  wet  potato  tops,  and  had  found  boughs 
or  branches.  The  dogs'  beds  referred  to  were  the 
kennels. 

My  vanity  received  a  rude  shock  soon  after  the 
despatch  of  the  solicitor's  letter  by  the  lover  marry- 
ing an  old  woman  who  had  lived  in  the  village  who 
weighed  a  good  twenty  stone.  She  had  saved  a 
little  money  and  shared  her  kitchen  with  a  fat  pig, 
an  emaciated  cow  and  some  fowls ! 

My  other  lovers  have  been  more  every-dayish, 
and  therefore  of  no  interest  to  anybody  but  myself. 


CHAPTER  X 

From  My  Sketch  Book — Some  Brilliant  Conversationalists 
— Hostesses  and  Fascinating  Women — Curious  Pro- 
ceedings During  a  Divorce  Case — Sir  Eyre  Shaw 
Decollete — Peculiarities  of  the  Late  Duchess  of  Cleve- 
land— An  Historic  House  in  Grafton  Street — Mr.  A.  J. 
Balfour  Reviews  Himself  as  Undergraduate  and  Prime 
Minister — He  Does  not  Love  the  Crowd — Colonel  Burn, 
King's  Messenger — His  Farewell  Bouquet — Major 
Slade's  Many  Fiancees — The  Maharajah  of  Cooch  Be- 
har — As  Sportsman,  Ruler,  and  Ladies'  Man — A  Sikh 
Gentleman's  Disgust — Sir  Charles  Monro's  Views  of 
What  is  Good  for  India — The  Prime  Minister  of  Rewar 
Wants  Something  but  does  not  get  it — Prince  Bismarck 
and  the  Author — A  Curious  Introduction. 

TURNING  over  the  pages  in  the  sketch-book 
of  my  life,  I  find  the  studies  in  it  very 
varied  and  of  unequal  value,  all  mingled 
and  jostling  one  another.  Some  of  the  pages  are 
very  crowded.  I  have  been  trying  to  recall  what  I 
liked  best  about  each  of  the  figures  that  attracted 
me  most.  Some  I  find  have  only  interested  me  after 
losing  sight  of  them,  after  turning  over  another 
page,  then  the  interest  lay  in  thinking  of  them  in  the 
chrysalis  stage,  and  trying  to  remember  if  I  had 
imagined  any  of  the  colours  that  appeared  when 
they  became  gorgeous  butterflies. 

Amongst  the  crowd  passing  panorama  fashion 

193 


194         FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

before  my  mind,  I  find  the  greatest  conversation- 
alists have  been  undoubtedly  Oscar  Wilde  and 
Charles  Parnell,  though  on  entirely  different  lines. 

Oscar  Wilde's  choice  of  language  and  his  gentle 
voice  were  to  me  much  more  poetic  than  those  of 
the  poet  laureate  of  his  time.  Mr.  Wilde's  writing 
and  his  poetry  were  all  real,  full  of  feeling  and 
beautifully  expressed  thought.  Who  can  read  his 
De  Profundis,  written  in  prison,  without  being 
moved?  Much  of  it  is  possibly  exaggerated  in 
expression,  but  then  he  was  exaggerated  in  feeling, 
and  it  flowed  from  the  pen  of  a  man  in  anguish,  who 
was  unable  to  live  without  a  theatrical  setting,  with- 
out posing  even  in  his  own  mind  and  for  his  own 
benefit. 

I  remember  him  in  the  heyday  of  his  popularity, 
when  women  crowded  round  him  to  write  in  their 
birthday  books,  hostesses  adding  to  their  notes  and 
cards  of  invitation  one  of  the  two  inducements  of 
that  hour,  either  "P.B."  or  "O.W.,"  the  former 
giving  us  to  understand  some  professional  beauties 
would  be  present  for  us  to  feast  our  eyes  on,  and  the 
latter  that  Oscar  Wilde  would  be  there  to  talk  high 
art  with  us. 

When  he  first  appeared  in  society  and  invented 
the  "Howell  and  James  Young  Man"  movement, 
he  was  prodigiously  laughed  at,  but  made  much  of 
all  the  same.  His  hair  was  long  when  first  I  beheld 
him,  and  he  strolled  up  and  down  Piccadilly  in  a 
soft  wide-awake  hat  a  little  on  one  side,  an  Irving- 
like velveteen  cloak  worn  carelessly  and  always 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS  195 

open  to  show  a  daffodil  or  single  yellow  flower 
standing  high-artishly  in  his  buttonhole,  almost  in- 
variably on  a  long  stalk  and  on  one  side — posing. 

He  went  to  America  to  preach  his  ^stheticism, 
then  returned  to  London  and  recast  his  high-brow- 
ism,  colour  schemes  and  dado  ideas,  becoming  a 
Piccadilly  darling,  dressed  in  the  height  of  fashion, 
short  hair  wonderfully  arranged,  and  his  ties  quite 
peculiar  to  himself. 

He  was  a  man  of  moods,  one  day  his  conversa- 
tion, which  was  always  brilliant,  would  be  brilliantly 
sad,  another  day  cryptic  sayings  and  epigrams 
chased  each  other  from  his  tongue.  No  matter 
what  subject  was  started,  he  could  always  pick  it 
up  and  toss  it  back  with  an  original  note  or  two 
attached. 

He  did  not  mind  being  laughed  at;  I  think  he 
rather  liked  it,  joining  in  the  merriment  at  his  own 
expense. 

His  evening  dress  was  peculiar.  I  was  never 
sure  whether  or  no  his  low-cut  waistcoat,  fastening 
with  three  buttons  on  one  side,  was  cut  all  in  one 
with  the  funny  sort  of  black  stock  he  wore  without 
any  visible  beginning  or  end.  This  stock  reposed 
beneath  a  turn-down  collar  of  the  fashion  adopted 
by  women  over  the  necks  of  their  dresses.  The 
cuffs  of  his  shirt  turned  up  over  the  sleeves  of  his 
coat. 

The  evening  buttonhole  was  always  white,  in  con- 
trast to  the  yellow  one  worn  in  the  daytime.  He 
was  not  good-looking,  his  face  was  too  heavy,  his 


196         FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

mouth  was  the  least  pleasant  feature.  He  wore  an 
enormous  ring  on  the  little  finger  of  one  hand,  I 
forget  which.  In  the  distance  it  looked  like  the 
big  splodgy  seal  on  Government  documents.  This 
toilet  was  completed  by  a  fob  crowded  with  seals, 
looking  like  a  child's  rattle,  the  tout  ensemble  being 
a  mixture  of  high  art,  dandyism  and  effeminacy. 

No  one  will  deny  that  he  was  eccentric,  a  genius, 
and  I  think  I  may  add  a  brilliant  conversationalist. 
I  often  recall  one  of  his  very  wise  sayings,  "We 
should  be  careful  how  we  choose  our  enemies." 

Charles  Parnell  was  at  his  best  on  political  sub- 
jects, and  his  sarcasm,  was  entertaining;  he  could 
enlarge  most  feelingly  on  the  sorrows  of  the  poor 
that  we  have  always  with  us,  but  his  conversation 
was  rather  spoilt  for  me,  by  not  being  able  to  rid 
myself  of  the  feeling  that  he  was  not  quite  sincere 
even  to  himself. 

Some  people  have  been  rude  enough  to  state  there 
never  has  been  a  woman  who  was  a  great  conversa- 
tionalist. I  do  not  agree  with  these  critics.  Lady 
Ermyntrude  Malet,  wife  of  our  at  one  time  Am- 
bassador in  Berlin,  was  a  conversationalist  of  no 
mean  order,  besides  being  a  bright  and  tactful 
woman  of  considerable  education  and  culture. 
There  are  people  who  consider  themselves  great 
conversationalists,  forgetting  monologue  is  not  con- 
versation, in  the  same  way  that  a  crowd  is  not  com- 
pany. 

That  great  religious  reformer,  the  Apostle  St. 
Paul,  who  was  also  a  man  of  the  world,  full  of 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS         197 

courtesy  and  chivalry,  as  well  as  a  diplomatist,  says, 
"Let  your  speech  be  always  with  grace,  seasoned 
with  salt,  that  ye  may  know  how  ye  ought  to  answer 
every  man."    Herein  lies  the  art  of  conversation. 

Sir  Edward  Malet,  who  was  a  little  man,  charm- 
ing and  dignified,  was  very  popular  with  the  Ger- 
man Imperial  family. 

The  most  charming  hostess  I  can  remember  is 
the  present  Lady  Ripon,*  whose  parties  were  de- 
lightfully cosmopolitan. 

Exclusiveness  is  a  thing  of  the  past.  People 
have  become  bored  by  it,  finding  themselves  out  in 
the  cold,  while  Royalties  and  nitrate  kings  hobnob. 
Lady  White,  wife  of  the  Lady  smith  man,  was  an- 
other charming  hostess;  also  Mrs.  Oppenheim,  her 
salons  were  famous. 

The  most  fascinating  women  I  recall  were  Lady 
Colin  Campbell  and  Madame  Cassavetti,  a  Russian. 
I  remember  at  Torquay  one  winter  when  the  Cas- 
savettis  were  there,  being  quite  startled  in  their 
front  hall  by  an  enormous  black  bear,  standing  on 
its  hind  legs  holding  a  tray  for  visitors'  cards.  Sud- 
denly a  brilliant  yellow  light  appeared  in  the  beast's 
eyes.  I  asked  a  girl  near  me  if  she  saw  anything 
peculiar  about  the  bear's  eyes,  as  I  thought  I  might 
be  suffering  from  delusion,  but  she  had  seen  it  be- 
fore and  explained,  "It  is  an  electric  light  that  the 
butler  turned  on  from  somewhere  in  the  wall." 

Lady  Colin  Campbell,  who  had  rejoiced  in  the 
maiden  name  of  Blood,    was  a  most  fascinating 

•  Died  since  writing  this. 


198         FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

woman  and  clever.  Many  loved  her  much.  We 
were  renting  the  house  next  to  hers  in  Cadogan 
Place,  when  some  learned  bewigged  people  from 
the  Law  Courts  arrived  to  find  out  for  themselves 
how  much  they  could  see  through  certain  keyholes, 
some  doubt  having  been  thrown  upon  the  servants' 
evidence  during  the  hearing  of  the  divorce  case. 
There  was  a  little  garden  at  the  back  of  our  house 
corresponding  to  another  exactly  like  it  belonging 
to  the  Campbells,  and  we  were  greatly  amused 
watching  one  of  the  bewigged  ones  scaling  the  wall, 
while  others  looked  on  in  admiration.  There  were 
some  questions  about  whether  some  of  the  fourteen 
co-respondents  had  not  entered  the  house  by  scaling 
this  wall. 

Several  friends  of  mine  were  implicated  in  this 
case,  poor  Sir  Eyre  Shaw  for  one,  but  he  came  off 
with  flying  colours  and  we  were  all  glad,  for  he  was 
extremely  popular  and  deservedly  so.  He  behaved 
like  a  man  over  this  case,  which  some  did  not,  and 
we  all  congratulated  him.  He  was  quite  a  lady's 
man,  admired  all  pretty  people  and  thoroughly  en- 
joyed a  flirtation,  entering  into  the  spirit  of  the 
thing  with  zest.  He  became  quite  good-looking  and 
much  smarter  as  he  grew  older. 

When  first  he  was  introduced  to  me  I  was  much 
struck  with  his  length  of  neck,  which  he  did  nothing 
to  subdue,  wearing  very  low  turn  down  collars.  I 
told  him  once  he  shocked  me  by  being  so  decollete, 
and  that  I  should  send  him  a  tulle  tucker  out  of  one 
of  my  ball  dresses  to  wear  round  his  neck.     He 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS         199 

declared  he  would  wear  it  if  I  kept  my  promise.  I 
was  too  good-natured  to  impose  this  ordeal  on  him. 

Lady  Colin  edited  The  Ladies'  Field  for  some 
time,  and  died  a  martyr  to  rheumatism. 

The  cleverest  and  most  alarming  woman  of  my 
acquaintance  was  the  late  Duchess  of  Cleveland. 
She  was  a  great  friend  of  Sir  Tatten  Sykes.  While 
being  desperately  afraid  of  her,  people  would  hover 
round,  regardless  of  having  their  noses  bitten  off, 
in  hopes  of  catching  some  of  her  witty  sayings,  and 
hearing  other  people  snubbed.  She  was  at  Raby 
Castle  once  when  I  was  there  in  the  long-agos,  and 
I  was  rather  surprised  to  find  there  also  a  sprightly 
and  pretty  woman,  who  was  a  pet  aversion  of  hers. 
There  had  been  a  row  between  them  a  short  time 
before  over  a  bazaar  (for  charity!).  We  were  in 
the  museum  looking  at  the  curious  natural  history 
specimens  collected  by  the  old  Duchess  of  Darling- 
ton. James  Lowther  was  with  us  saying  amusing 
but  disrespectful  things  about  the  specimens,  when 
the  sprightly  lady  joined  us.  James  Lowther,  who 
loved  teasing  people,  said,  "Hullo,  Gipsy,  you're 
looking  very  cheap;  feeling  bad?"  "No,"  she  re- 
plied, "how  unkind  of  you,  that  is  only  a  polite  way 
of  saying  I  am  looking  plain."  With  his  boisterous 
laugh  he  turned  to  the  Duchess,  being  unaware  the 
relations  were  strained,  and  said,  "I've  seen  her 
looking  better,  haven't  you?"  The  Duchess'  face 
froze  into  hard  lines  as  she  looked  the  little  woman 
up  and  down,  then  said,  "Only  wants  another  coat 
of  varnish,  I  think." 


200         FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

Feeling  most  uncomfortable,  I  moved  away,  but 
not  before  I  heard,  "Another  coat  and  a  new  wig 
wouldn't  be  amiss  for  your  grace,  but  you  should 
be  well  scraped  first."  Jim  Lowther  was  delighted, 
and  stood  an  amused  spectator,  while  the  ladies 
had  their  say.  At  times  I  have  heard  the  Duchess 
exceedingly  rude  to  people,  at  others,  keep  a  whole 
room  full  of  people  electrified  with  her  wit.  She 
died  in  1901. 

The  Harcourt's  house  in  Grafton  Street  was  a 
sure  find  for  interesting  people,  and  Lady  Harcourt 
was  a  homely  and  genial  hostess.  If  the  walls  of 
that  house  could  speak,  they  could  tell  us  interest- 
ing stories  of  important  state  and  political  secrets, 
of  clandestine  meetings  between  beautiful  women 
and  gay  young  men,  not  to  mention  a  few  more 
mature  couples. 

This  was  after  the  Harcourts  had  left  the  house 
and  Madame  Lili  (Mrs.  Pocklington)  had  moved 
into  it  from  her  shop  in  Oxford  Street,  where  she 
had  been  so  successful  with  her  millinery  business 
that  larger  premises  had  become  necessary. 

A  great  number  of  the  "rank  and  fashion"  went 
to  her  for  their  hats  and  bonnets.  The  rooms  were 
large,  and  lovers  found  they  could  converse  there 
in  safety  between  the  tryings  on  of  head-gear.  One 
or  two  forbidden  little  affairs  matured  there  quite 
nicely. 

Mrs.  Pocklington,  who  was  a  very  charming  and 
smart  woman,  died  quite  early  in  life,  and  at  a  time 
when  she  was  doing  a  big  business.     I  have  been 


Sir  William  Harcourt  in  His  Young  Days 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS         201 

there  when  the  carriages  were  standing  outside  her 
door  almost  as  if  a  reception  was  taking  place. 

I  could  never  understand  why,  when  her  affairs 
were  wound  up,  there  was  so  little  money.  Possibly 
though  brimful  of  taste,  she  had  no  business  capac- 
ity, in  which  case  all  her  taste  and  hard  work  would 
avail  her  nothing.  She  was  one  of  the  first  of  the 
lady  milliners  before  the  epidemic  set  in. 

For  many  years  Mr.  A.  J.  Balfour  was  amongst 
the  most  popular  men  in  England, — partly,  no 
doubt,  because  he  was  a  statesman  (we  have  had 
so  few  of  late  years),  that  we  all  leant  on  him,  and 
partly  on  account  of  his  charm  of  manner  when 
wishing  to  be  agreeable.  His  powers  of  being  able 
to  convince  people  against  their  better  judgment 
has  been  quite  unique,  but  few  have  been  so  re- 
spected. 

At  the  time  he  was  Chief  Secretary  for  Ireland 
he  stayed  a  great  deal  with  some  of  my  people. 
Special  rooms  were  reserved  for  him  as  his  own 
special  property,  where  he  could  leave  his  things 
and  come  back  and  find  them  ready  for  use.  He 
said  rather  an  interesting  thing  one  day,  namely, 
that  he  considered  himself  to  have  been  in  every 
way  as  competent  in  the  intellectual  sphere  when 
he  was  an  undergraduate  as  when  he  was  after- 
wards Prime  Minister.  The  public  loved  him  better 
than  he  loved  the  public,  and  he  had  a  naughty 
habit  when  people  came  on  purpose  to  see  him  of 
retiring  to  his  rooms  and  refusing  to  be  drawn. 

Many  will  remember  the  time  during  the  South 


202         FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

African  War  when  Mr.  Balfour  was  asked  some 
questions  as  to  what  was  taking  place  out  there, 
and  for  which  we  were  all  paying.  His  reply  was 
that  he  knew  "no  more  than  the  man  in  the  street." 
This  was  when  it  was  his  business  to  know, — at 
least,  so  we  all  thought.  I  do  not  think  he  has  held 
our  faith  in  quite  the  same  way  since.  We  all  know 
he  professes  never  to  read  the  papers,  and  this  is  not 
a  pose,  it  is  true.  He  never  does  read  a  paper,  and 
attends  to  his  correspondence  and  business  in  bed 
before  he  gets  up  in  the  morning.  He  does  not  care 
to  appear  before  midday  if  he  can  help  it,  finding, 
as  I  do,  the  early  morning  hours  are  the  best  for 
work.  Under  the  shadow  of  the  Coalition  Govern- 
ment he  has  lost  more  of  the  faith  of  some  people, 
judging  from  all  I  hear. 

Socially,  perhaps.  Captain  Charles  Burn,  the 
King's  Messenger  and  member  for  Torquay,  is  one 
of  the  most  popular  men  of  my  acquaintance.  He 
is  very  good-looking  and  well-mannered,  ready  to 
do  a  good  turn  for  anybody  at  a  moment's  notice. 
He  married  the  daughter  of  Lord  Leith  of  Fyvie, 
the  latter's  only  child. 

In  Cairo  during  the  Egyptian  Campaign,  we  went 
in  a  crowd  to  see  Captain  Burn  off  to  the  front. 
Gerry  Portal  called  out  as  the  train  left  the  station, 
"Good-bye,  Charlie,  may  your  beauty  never  be 
less,"  and  we  thrust  a  farewell  bouquet  through 
the  carriage  window,  consisting  of  carrots  with 
their  bonny  green  hair  tied  up  with  bonny  blue  rib- 


Sir  William  Harcourt  as  a  "Retired  Leader" 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS         203 

bons,  a  few  trailing  ferns  after  the  character  of 
asparagus  sprengeri  added  grace  to  the  posy. 

The  best  dancers  I  have  known  were  Captain 
Harry  Lees,  of  the  3rd  Dragoon  Guards,  who  died 
while  larking  with  his  favourite  charger  in  the 
Phoenix  Park  in  Ireland,  and  Major  Slade,  of  the 
loth  Hussars,  a  beautiful  dancer,  who  was  killed 
in  Egypt,  and  mourned  by  a  number  of  young  ladies 
and  a  widow  or  two,  who  said  they  were  engaged 
to  him.    About  thirteen  put  on  deep  mourning. 

I  must  not  forget  the  Rajah  of  Cooch  Behar, 
who  danced,  as  he  did  many  other  things,  exceed- 
ingly well.  He  was  one  of  the  most  English  of  the 
Rajahs  that  I  have  met,  and  the  only  one  that  I 
have  seen  who  did  not  look  amiss  in  English  mufti. 
He  became  an  hon.  lieutenant-colonel  in  the  British 
army,  and  hon.  A.D.C.  to  the  King  Emperor  when 
Prince  of  Wales.  I  have  danced  with  him  in  India, 
Paris  and  London.  His  education  was  completed 
in  England,  and  he  became  very  English.  On  his 
return  to  his  own  country  he  was  full  of  ideals  for 
the  benefit  of  his  state  and  people,  but  this  country 
held  such  attraction  for  him  that  he  could  not  keep 
away  for  long,  and  this  led  to  discontent  amongst 
his  subjects  in  India.  Cooch  Behar  is  small,  but 
has  a  population  of  about  six  hundred  thousand, 
spread  over  thirteen  hundred  square  miles.  The 
Rajah's  family  has  reigned  there  as  chiefs  for  four 
hundred  years. 

The  Maharajah  married  in  1878.  I  liked  the 
Ranee  very  much.    When  first  I  knew  her  she  was 


204         FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

very  shy,  but  now  has  an  assured  and  engaging 
manner.  She  is  well-known  and  much  liked  in 
England.  Her  late  husband  was  a  Hindu.  At  one 
time  to  cross  the  "Kala  Pani,"  or  Black  Water, 
would  have  been  considered  a  pollution  to  a  high 
caste  man,  but  all  that  is  in  the  past.  Rules  and 
observances  of  caste  are  no  longer  considered  of  the 
same  consequence  that  they  were  even  when  I  first 
went  to  India.  It  is  not  now  necessary  to  pay  large 
sums  or  go  through  all  sorts  of  revolting  ceremo- 
nies to  be  received  again  amongst  the  chosen  or  for 
ever  be  an  outcast  after  diverging  from  the  caste 
laws. 

Chandra  Sen  came  across  the  ''Black  Water," 
and  did  not  seem  in  much  fear  of  either  his  people 
or  his  Deity,  and  he  allowed  his  granddaughter 
when  only  twelve  and  a  bit,  to  marry  the  Mahara- 
jah of  Cooch  Behar,  who  was  only  fifteen  himself 
at  the  time. 

The  moment  the  Rajah  became  a  big  man  in 
London  he  dwindled  down  to  a  small  man  in  Cooch 
Behar.  That  is  the  trouble  with  native  noblemen 
who  become  Anglicised,  who  dance,  drink  cham- 
pagne, and  play  games. 

Once  on  the  racecourse  at  Calcutta,  when  all  the 
"Sahib  log"  were  applauding  the  late  Maharajah 
of  Patiala  for  winning  a  race  at  a  big  meeting,  an 
old  Sikh  gentleman  looking;  on  said  in  tones  of  dis- 
gust that  the  times  were  bad  indeed  when  the  great 
chieftain  of  the  Sikhs  aimed  only  at  being  a  clever 
"Chabuk  sowar"  (jockey). 


<:»m 


The  Maharajah  of  Couch  Behar 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS         205 

This  feeling  should  be  borne  in  mind  at  the  pres- 
ent moment  when  we  have  a  Secretary  of  State  for 
India  going  out  to  stir  up  the  most  Conservative 
spot  on  earth  with  a  barge  pole. 

All  sorts  of  nostrums  are  afloat,  of  which  prob- 
ably the  most  preposterous  is  that  fathered  by  the 
present  Commander-in-Chief  in  India,  Sir  Charles 
Monro,  that  young  Indian  gentleman  aspiring  to 
commissions  in  the  Army  should  be  educated  in 
England,  at  Woolwich  and  Sandhurst,  apparently 
being  oblivious  of  the  fact  that  under  those  circum- 
stances they  will  lose  all  influence  over  their  men, 
who  had  much  rather  be  commanded  by  a  Britisher 
than  by  a  renegade. 

In  precise  degree  as  Cooch  Behar  became  Angli- 
cised so  did  he  lose  all  influence  with  his  own  people. 
At  the  end  of  his  career  any  young  British  official 
carried  more  weight  with  the  people  of  Cooch  Behar 
than  did  their  own  Rajah,  or  his  wife,  Sumati 
Dwee. 

The  Rajah  was  a  well-built  man  and  looked  very 
sweet  in  a  pink  dressing-gown  going  down  the 
gangway  of  a  P.  and  O.  liner  en  route  for  his  tub. 
The  only  other  person  I  can  remember  who  looked 
quite  so  beautiful  was  Sir  Lepel  Grifin,  the  political, 
who  chose  the  time  for  his  bath  when  the  rest  of  us 
were  having  luncheon,  strolling  down  the  saloon  in 
the  most  lovely  things  in  pajamas  embroidered  with 
coats  of  arms  and  other  attractive  decorations, 
carrying  a  huge  sponge  and  a  bath  towel  of  great 
size  emblazoned  with  his  monogram  arranged  so 


2o6         FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

that  we  might  admire  them  all.  He  was  very  good- 
looking  at  the  time  of  which  I  am  writing,  and  he 
knew  it.  He  had  wondrous  curly  hair.  The  more 
it  was  wet,  the  tighter  it  curled,  apparently. 

The  Rajah  was  a  first-rate  sportsman,  and  his 
annual  shoots  in  India  were  considered  one  of  the 
events  of  the  year.  He  was  an  especially  fine  shot 
with  both  gun  and  rifle,  and  had  a  sunny  dispo- 
sition. It  took  him  a  long  time  to  get  spoilt  by  the 
fine  ladies  of  title  who  so  far  forgot  themselves  as 
to  curtsey  to  him  in  public  and  ''carry  on"  with 
him  in  private  when  they  got  the  chance.  Never 
shall  I  forget  my  surprise  the  first  time  I  saw  an 
hysterical  English  Countess  bobbing  to  him.  I 
thought  he  also  was  a  little  surprised,  but  it  is  part 
of  a  native  gentleman's  creed  never  to  appear  sur- 
prised at  anything.  The  bear-leader  even  begged 
these  ladies  to  restrain  themselves,  while  the  Anglo- 
Indians  nearly  fainted. 

After  some  seasons  in  London,  with  Royal 
Ascots  and  many  presents  to  kind  friends,  the  reve- 
nue of  Behar  estate  gave  out,  and  when  the  great 
man  returned  to  Bombay  and  found  it  was  not  open 
to  him  to  dine  at  the  Yacht  Club  the  shock  was 
terribly  severe,  in  fact  too  severe. 

He  gave  me  a  sweet  little  etching  done  by  himself 
of  an  Indian  scene  mounted  in  a  wonderfully  carved 
frame,  but  one  year  when  I  let  my  house  it  dis- 
appeared, and  I  was  sorry. 

His  eldest  son  inherited  the  love  for  England  and 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS         207 

was  a  keen  cricketer,  but  he  also  spent  too  much 
money  and  got  into  hot  water  in  consequence. 

Thinking  of  native  caste,  religions,  and  preju- 
dices reminds  me  of  when  Captain  Vigne,  of  the 
97th  Regiment,  was  staying  at  an  hotel  in  India 
en  route  for  Simla,  and  there  came  to  the  same  hotel 
a  big  native  gentleman  with  whom  he  entered  into 
conversation,  asking  him  how  he  managed  about 
his  food,  receiving  the  reply,  'T  can  eat  as  you  do." 

"But  are  you  not  a  high  caste?" 

"I  am  a  Brahmin  of  the  very  highest  caste,  but 
you  see  I  am  sufficiently  rich  to  have  no  prejudices." 

This  sounded  remarkable  in  those  days.  The 
gentleman  was  the  Prime  Minister  of  Rewar. 
Asked  what  his  mission  was  to  his  Excellency  the 
Governor,  he  replied  that  his  master  did  not  con- 
sider that  the  promises  made  him  by  Lord  Canning 
had  been  sufficiently  carried  out. 

Captain  Vigne  pointed  out  all  the  benefits  he  had 
received,  asking  what  more  could  possibly  be  ex- 
pected. 

PM.     "Well,  there  is  something!" 

Capt.  V.    "What  is  it?" 

PM.    "Oh !  er !  it  is  a  little  something." 

Capt.  V.    "Well  out  with  it." 

P.M.  "Is  there  not  a  little  thing  they  call  the 
Garter?" 

Capt.  V.  "If  that  is  what  you  want  I  think  you 
had  better  go  home  again ;  it  is  useless,  quite  hope- 
less." 


2o8         FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

P.M.  "What  would  your  commission  be  if  you 
could  get  it,  lo  lakhs?" 

Capt.  V.  "How  would  it  be  to  ask  for  a  peer- 
age?" 

P.M.  "But  how  could  his  Royal  Highness  the 
descendant  of  kings  when  the  English  still  painted 
their  bodies  accept  such  a  thing!'' 

I  think  the  man  who  surprised  me  more  than 
anybody  else  I  ever  met  was  Prince  Bismarck,  at 
that  time  Chancellor  of  the  German  Empire.  It 
was  when  Sir  Edward  Malet  was  Ambassador  at 
Berlin.  I  had  always  pictured  Bismarck  as  a  hard, 
rather  cruel,  and  disagreeable  man,  who  would  be 
able  to  speak  nothing  but  German  and  be  disliked 
by  all  in  his  own  country  save  the  Emperor. 

My  surprise  was  therefore  great  w'hen  I  found 
he  could  speak  English  well,  though  slowly,  as  if 
searching  for  the  words  he  wanted.  Greater  joy 
still,  we  had  something  in  common,  for  I  discovered 
he  loved  all  the  dear  purposeful  creepy-crawlys  of 
the  earth,  and  had  made  a  study  of  them.  They 
were  his  companions  as  they  are  mine.  I  think 
anyone  with  no  love  for  or  intimate  knowledge  of 
the  busy  world  round  our  feet  must  for  ever  travel 
alone. 

My  world  of  creepy-crawlys  embraces  birds, 
butterflies,  moths,  dragonflies,  etc.,  many  of  which 
are  not  really  creepys  at  all.  Prince  Bismarck 
loved  all  nature,  but  especially  the  crawlys.  He 
gave  me  a  most  interesting  account  of  some  spiders 
with  yellow  bodies  that  are  of  the  warrior  type  and 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS         209 

fight  fierce  battles.  Once  he  put  two  on  a  bush  to 
see  them  fight.  Their  tactics  were  full  of  subtlety 
and  once,  when  Bismarck  interfered,  one  of 
the  spiders  swelled  out  his  body  and  tried  to 
frighten  him  by  making  little  rushes  in  his  direc- 
tion and  giving  what  he  presumed  were  stamps 
with  its  feet,  after  the  fashion  of  rabbits  when 
they  wish  to  warn  others  of  any  danger.  The 
Prince  loved  trees ;  they  spoke  to  him  as  they  do  to 
me.  He  loved  beetles  and  spiders,  so  do  I.  We 
became  so  engrossed  comparing  notes  that  I  forgot 
for  a  time  I  was  engaging  too  much  of  his  atten- 
tion to  the  exclusion  of  more  important  people 
waiting  for  a  word  with  him. 

I  met  the  great  man  only  once  again  some  years 
later  when  in  Paris,  having  luncheon  with  the 
Rothschilds.  We  greeted  one  another  with  affec- 
tion born  of  our  mutual  loves.  He  was  quite  ex- 
cited at  our  meeting  again,  and  wished  to  introduce 
a  friend  of  his  to  whom  he  had  often  spoken  of  my 
love  for  animals  and  all  the  underworld  and  things 
of  nature.  A  fierce-looking  little  German  was  in- 
troduced and  out  of  compliment  to  me  they  spoke 
English.  I  will  not  attempt  to  copy  their  accents, 
but  this  was  the  introduction.  "This  is  the  lady  of 
whom  you  have  heard  me  speak  who  loves  bugs  as 
I  do !"  A  little  shiver  ran  down  my  back  and  I  was 
almost  frightened  out  of  my  best  Sunday  manners, 
but  as  nobody  seemed  surprised  at  my  love  for  bugs 
I  gradually  recovered. 

Long  after  this  I  found  that  scientific  men,  when 


2IO         FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

they  cannot  locate  and  name  any  particular  mi- 
crobes, classify  them  under  the  sort  of  slang  appel- 
lation of  bugs,  so  I  hope  that  after  all  it  may  have 
been  understood  in  that  sense  and  not  that  I  loved 
the  on-board-ship  variety. 

Bismarck's  face  gave  the  impression  of  great 
determination,  amounting  possibly  to  obstinacy. 
His  face  was  big  and  square,  heavy  eyebrows  grew 
low  over  his  eyes.  His  jaw  was  cruel  and  deter- 
mined, slightly  contradicted  by  his  chin.  The  gen- 
eral effect  was  one  of  squareness.  It  seemed 
strange  to  look  at  this  powerful  man,  both  mentally 
and  physically,  and  think  that  his  recreation,  his 
pleasure,  was  amongst  the  mysteries  wrapped  round 
the  little  crowds  of  which  we  know  so  little,  all  full 
of  earnest  purpose,  working  untiringly,  and  pa- 
tiently through  their  little  span  of  life.  The  amount 
of  knowledge  the  Prince  had  acquired  could  only 
have  come  from  close  observation.  Books  give  us 
so  little  information  or  insight  into  the  lives  that  fill 
one  with  admiration,  wonder  and  respect.  I  love 
all  my  little  fellow  travellers. 

Bismarck  died  in  July,  1898. 


CHAPTER  XI 

The  Waterloo  Ball — Lady  Sophia  Cecil  Revisits  Goodwood 
— 'Lady  de  Ros  Buckles  on  the  Duke  of  Wellington's 
Sword — Lady  Sophia's  Christmas  Dinner — The  "Poor 
Yellow  Puppy !" — A  Fishing  Expedition — An  Exciting 
Drive — Tea  with  the  Minister — His  Housekeeper  is 
Piqued  with  him — A  Struggle  with  a  Salmon — Cawn- 
pore  as  it  was — A  Drive  in  a  Bullock  Cart — A  Thieving 
Crow — Sir  Owen  Burne — Pained  with  the  Duke  of 
Cambridge — Some  Appointments — Sir  Owen's  Den — 
His  Difficulties  with  the  Shah  of  Persia — Lord  Shaftes- 
bury Scolding — A  Contretemps  between  Bishop  and 
Prize-fighters  at  Buckingham  Palace. 

REVISITING  one's  old  home  after  an  ab- 
sence of  some  years  is  alw^ays  a  painful 
pleasure  when  some  of  the  loved  tenants 
have  gone.  Lady  Sophia  Cecil  experienced  this 
when,  after  a  long  absence,  she  happened  to  be 
staying  near  Bogner,  and  decided  she  would  like  to 
go  over  her  old  home  at  Goodwood  and  show  it  to 
her  companion  who  was  with  her. 

It  will  be  remembered  Lady  Sophia  was  the 
widow  of  Lord  Thomas  Cecil,  and  daughter  of  the 
Duchess  of  Richmond  who  gave  the  famous  ball  at 
Brussels  on  the  eve  of  the  battle  of  Waterloo. 

Not  knowing  on  what  days  the  public  were  al- 
lowed to  view  the  place,  she  thought  she  would  try 

211 


212         FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

and  get  in  under  any  circumstances,  so  hired  a  cab 
and  drove  up  very  humbly.  The  housekeeper  re- 
ceived them  grumpily,  saying,  "You  should  come 
on  the  proper  days  if  you  want  to  see  the  place," 
but  condescended  to  take  them  round,  telling  the 
visitors  to  "hurry  up." 

On  entering  the  drav^ing-room  the  housekeeper 
remarked,  pointing  to  a  picture,  "That  is  a  picture 
of  the  Duke  and  his  wife,  the  host  and  hostess  of 
the  Waterloo  Ball,  alluded  to  by  Byron  in  "Childe 
Harold"  when  there  were  "Sounds  of  revelry  by 
night."  Turning  to  her  companion  Lady  Sophia 
said,  "We  never  thought  it  a  good  likeness  of  my 
dear  mother."  The  astonished  housekeeper  became 
servile  at  once,  apologising  for  her  curt  manner. 
No  notice  was  taken  of  this,  but  before  proceeding 
to  her  cab  Lady  Sophia  said,  "You  have  showed  me 
over  my  old  home.  I  only  hope  you  are  more  civil 
to  the  tourists  who  visit  Goodwood  than  you  have 
been  to  us.    Good  day." 

Lady  Sophia  and  her  sister,  Georgie,  Lady  de 
Ros,  never  could  agree  as  to  the  locality  of  the  ball- 
room in  Brussels,  but  Lady  Sophia  always  said  she 
was  the  most  likely  to  be  correct  as  her  sister  was 
older  and  too  occupied  with  her  partners  to  pay 
much  attention  or  remember,  while  she  was  only 
a  child  looking  on  and  taking  notice  of  everything 
as  children  do.  Lady  de  Ros  had  been  a  constant 
partner  of  the  Duke  of  Wellington  at  the  ball  and 
had  buckled  on  his  sword  when  the  officers  ran 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS         213 

away  at  full  speed  to  Waterloo,  Napoleon  having 
arrived  a  few  days  before  he  was  expected. 

Latterly  Lady  Sophia  Cecil  lived  in  Granville 
Place,  where  she  kept  up  the  old-fashioned  custom 
of  having  sucking-pig  for  her  Christmas  dinner, 
that  being  her  favourite  piece  de  resistance.  Many 
of  her  guests  would  doubtless  have  preferred  a 
good  Norfolk  turkey. 

We  do  not  come  across  many  sucking-pigs  now, 
I  am  glad  to  say,  but  it  was  a  favourite  dish  of  my 
maternal  grandfather's.  When  alone  he  liked  his 
children  to  come  and  sit  at  the  table  while  he  ate 
his  dinner.  They  had  to  bring  their  books  which 
they  were  expected  to  read  to  themselves  or  look  at 
pictures  and  not  dare  to  breathe  a  word  unless  spo- 
ken to  by  their  stern  parents.  About  the  time  of 
which  I  am  thinking  a  new  litter  of  puppies  had 
been  born  in  the  stables.  These  were  a  source  of 
great  joy  to  the  children,  especially  to  one  small 
boy  who  had  singled  out  a  puppy  as  his  favourite. 

My  grandfather  was  enjoying  his  sucking-pig, 
served  up  as  was  then  considered  appetising,  full 
length  on  a  dish  decorated  with  pickled  walnuts, 
apple  sauce  and  beetroot.  Suddenly  he  looked  up 
and  noticed  one  of  his  small  sons  with  bent  head 
glancing  furtively  at  the  dish,  growing  redder  and 
redder  in  the  face,  whilst  one  or  two  big  splashing 
tears  fell  on  his  book.  When  asked  what  was  the 
matter,  he  replied,  amid  choking  sobs,  'Toor  little 
yellow  puppy!"  The  griefs  of  our  childhood  may 
have  been  brief,  but  they  were  very  real. 


214         FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

I  wonder  what  makes  trivial  happenings  of  long 
ago  so  fixed  in  our  memories  ?  While  turning  over 
in  my  mind  some  of  the  great  moments  I  have 
experienced,  I  find  a  number  of  silly  and  quite  un- 
important affairs  will  push  themselves  forward. 
Why,  for  instance,  at  the  present  moment  should  I 
think  of  the  following? 

My  husband  thought  he  would  like  to  spend  his 
short  leave  fishing  in  Scotland.  We  agreed  we 
would  have  another  honeymoon  all  by  our  lone 
selves,  "Far  from  the  madding  crowd,"  this  being 
suitable  to  cooing  and  fishing  combined.  A  bache- 
lor friend  offered  us  his  cottage  near  Nairn,  which 
he  was  not  occupying,  and  said  he  had  ordered  "a 
trap  of  sorts,"  the  only  thing  to  be  had  in  the  neigh- 
bourhood, to  meet  us  at  the  station. 

It  all  sounded  delightful.  My  man  implored  me 
to  travel  very  light,  as  he  did  not  wish  to  "drag  a 
ton  of  luggage"  about  with  us.  I  did  my  best  and 
thought  I  had  made  a  very  modest  and  wise  selec- 
tion of  "wanteds." 

When  the  luggage  stood  on  the  platform  I  really 
felt  proud  and  superior,  for  I  had  only  one  port- 
manteau that  I  could  easily  lift,  and  two  rods  neatly 
done  up.  My  husband's  luggage  consisted  of  a  huge 
portmanteau  bulging  out  at  the  sides,  and  sur- 
rounded by  a  collection  of  fishing-rods,  landing 
nets,  reels,  guns,  great  coat,  etc.  He  was  rather 
apologetic  and  burbled  something  about  its  being 
wise  to  take  plenty  of  boots,  but  "the  beastly  things" 
take  up  a  lot  of  room  you  know. 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS         215 

Being  a  reasonable  and  well-conducted  wife,  I 
agreed  it  really  was  marvellous  how  he  had  got  so 
much  into  so  small  a  space,  and  I  was  rewarded  by 
being  told  I  was  a  "sensible  woman." 

So  in  this  happy  frame  of  mind  we  sat  close  to- 
gether, hand-in-hand,  and  looked  out  of  the  rail- 
way carriage  window,  hunting  the  country  in 
imagination  as  we  passed  through  it.  We  had  great 
arguments  as  to  how  we  should  negotiate  certain 
fences  which  look  small  when  viewed  from  the 
window  of  a  train,  and  often  so  formidable  on 
closer  acquaintance. 

We  arrived  safely  at  the  cottage  so  kindly  lent 
to  us  after  a  rather  exciting  drive  behind  a  won- 
derful grey  mare  of  many  summers.  She  had  one 
ear  that  stood  up  and  flickered  while  listening  for 
any  instructions,  the  other  lying  down  and  flopping 
about  as  she  moved,  a  veritable  scarecrow  on  four 
wonderfully  useful  clean  legs. 

The  vehicle, — for  what  else  can  I  call  it? — ^had 
once  been  a  dog-cart,  no  doubt  of  "high  degree." 
One  spring  was  gone,  which  gave  it  a  rakish  ap- 
pearance, and  no  step  was  left  of  any  kind,  so  my 
husband  gave  me  a  leg  up  as  if  I  was  mounting  a 
horse  and  landed  me  on  the  back  seat,  telling  me 
to  "hang  on."  It  was  well  I  did,  for  evidently  the 
bump  I  gave  on  landing  was  a  signal  to  the  grey 
mare,  for  off  she  flew,  hard  held  by  the  country 
bumpkin  driving  her.  My  husband  came  tearing 
along  behind,  holding  on  to  all  the  pieces  of  string 
and  strap  he  could  find  hanging  about.    At  last  he 


2i6         FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

clambered  up  by  me  with  the  aid  of  one  foot  I  held 
out  to  assist  him.  I  could  not  spare  a  hand;  and 
from  the  back  seat  he  scrambled  over  to  the  front 
by  the  driver,  which  effort  resulted  in  his  hat  falling 
off. 

I  heard  him  conversing  with  the  Jehu  on  the 
subject  after  this  fashion,  ''Can't  you  see  I've  lost 
my  hat,  you  fool?    Stop  when  I  tell  you!" 

Reply — "Don't  you  be  a  fashing  of  yourself.  Ye 
can  gang  the  morrow  and  be  afther  for  fetching 
of  it,  for  stop  the  varmint  I  canna!"  Then  came 
something  about  tempting  Providence.  However, 
all  is  well  that  ends  well,  but  we  saw  the  hat  no 
more. 

We  did  not  have  the  best  of  weather,  but  had  a 
glorious  time  all  the  same. 

A  minister  of  the  kirk  near  where  we  were  asked 
us  to  tea  with  him  one  afternoon.  We  had  never 
seen  him  before  this  visit,  and  I  have  never  seen 
him  since,  but  he  found  we  had  many  mutual 
friends  so  had  a  fine  long  pow-wow.  He  apologised 
much  for  his  rooms,  saying  that  being  a  bachelor 
he  was  rather  untidy,  and  had  nobody  to  put  things 
straight  for  him,  and  so  en. 

Tea  was  brought  in  on  a  big  black  tin  tray  by  his 
housekeeper,  a  stout  woman  with  a  healthy  soap- 
shiny  face,  especially  polished  I  think  for  the  oc- 
casion, her  skirts  fulled  in  well  round  the  waist, 
back  and  front  alike,  surmounted  by  a  spotless 
apron.  The  lady  did  not  smile  upon  us  and  we  felt 
rather  awed.     Presently  she  left  the  room  and  we 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS         217 

breathed  again,  for  she  was  a  dour-looking  dame. 

We  were  having  an  excellent  tea  with  honey, 
bilberry  jam  and  other  good  things,  when  our  host 
suddenly  rang  the  bell,  explaining  that  his  house- 
keeper had  forgotten  the  slop  basin.  She  arrived 
in  response  to  the  bell.  We  were  then  deep  in 
conversation,  so,  almost  without  turning  his  head 
he  said,  "Mary,  you  have  forgotten  the  slop  basin." 
There  came  no  rejoinder;  she  retired  and  shut  the 
door.  After  waiting  a  while  the  bell  was  rung 
again  and  answered  as  before.  ''The  slop  basin, 
please,  Mary,  I  am  waiting  for  it." 

A  loud  and  piqued  sniff  was  the  only  response 
and  the  door  shut  with  emphasis.  We  continued 
our  conversation,  but  no  slop  basin  arrived.  I  as- 
sured him  I  liked  the  dregs  of  my  tea,  that  all  the 
"best  families"  did,  but  no,  he  would  ring  again. 

This  time  Mary  appeared  with  a  red  face  and 
glittering  eyes,  and  when  asked  why  she  did  not 
bring  the  slop  basin  she,  with  arms  akimbo,  and 
nodding  head,  shouted,  "Go  on  wi  yer.  It's  all 
along  o'  yer  own  arkardness,  for  yer  know  yer  h'ant 
got  one!" 

Tableau ! 

During  that  honeymoon  I  had  some  fine  fishing. 
One  cloudy  day,  when  the  water  was  dirty  and 
rapid,  I  started  fishing  with  a  blue  doctor  I  had 
tied  myself.  After  fishing  patiently  for  over  an 
hour  with  no  result  I  fortified  myself  with  some 
damp  biscuits  and  changed  my  blue  doctor  for  a 
minnow,  best  of  all  dull  day  baits,  I  was  soon  re- 


2i8         FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

warded,  but  had  hooked  a  brute  who  sulked  in  a 
big  pool.  Nothing  would  persuade  him  to  leave. 
I  pulled  steadily  with  rod  low  for  the  best  part  of 
an  hour.  Presently  a  tug  or  two  warned  me  he  was 
thinking  of  changing  his  tactics,  and  down  he 
rushed,  with  me  after  him,  rod  up  and  reeling  in  as 
fast  as  I  could.  I  wanted  to  get  opposite  to  him 
when  the  fight  would  soon  have  been  over.  This  he 
seemed  to  know,  for  he  kept  me  racing  up  and  down 
the  bank,  and  then  wading  recklessly  after  him, 
fearing  I  might  inadvertently  in  my  scrambles 
lower  the  point  of  my  rod  when,  of  course,  the  show 
would  be  over  at  once  and  good-bye  to  the  fish ! 

Just  when  on  the  point  of  tears  from  fatigue  and 
excitement  my  fish  began  to  weary  too,  and  by  de- 
grees I  got  him  into  shallow  water,  keeping  up  a 
steady  haul.  He  came  splashing  up  on  his  side 
close  under  the  bank. 

I  laid  my  rod  down  with  nearly  tight  line,  handle 
uppermost,  and  made  a  detour  to  avoid  his  head, 
crept  down  and  tailed  him.  Such  a  beauty,  about 
twenty  pounds,  the  largest  I  had  caught,  but  oh! 
should  I  be  able  to  hold  him?  He  kicked  with  all 
the  life  left  in  him,  with  the  result  that  I  ended  by 
falling  on  my  face  but  still  holding  him  with  both 
arms.  I  nearly  lost  him,  but  spread  myself  out  as 
much  as  I  could,  determining  that  sooner  than  lose 
him  I  would  lie  there  till  one  or  both  of  us  died. 

Fortunately  my  lord,  growing  uneasy  about  me, 
came  to  see  where  I  was.  He  had  been  fishing 
further  up  the  river.     Hearing  his  "coo-ee"  with 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS         219 

which  we  called  one  another  when  apart,  I  answered 
with  what  breath  I  had  left,  and  when  he  arrived 
how  pleased  I  was  to  see  him.  He  soon  settled  the 
matter. 

I  had  another  quaint  drive  once  at  the  end  of  a 
shooting  expedition.  We  had  been  after  snipe,  my 
husband,  Colonel  Reginald  Sartorious,  V.C,  Mrs. 
Button,  a  great  friend  of  mine,  and  a  first-rate  shot, 
and  myself.  Our  return  journey  brought  us  through 
Cawnpore,  about  which  I  must  speak  before  relat- 
ing my  curious  drive.  None  can  surely  visit  that 
city  of  melancholy  fame  without  memories  surging 
through  his  brain  of  the  heroes  who  shared  in  the 
agony  of  that  time — Havelock,  the  gentle  Outram 
and  stern  Sir  Colin. 

The  story  of  the  massacre  is  old  history,  but  I 
happen  to  have  a  photograph  of  the  house  and  well 
taken  at  the  time  under  great  difficulties  while  the 
blood  of  the  women  and  children  was  still  wet  on 
the  walls  and  floors,  and  as  I  have  never  heard  of 
or  seen  another  taken  at  that  time  it  may  be  of  in- 
terest. It  was  taken  by  a  Doctor  FitzGerald,  with 
the  relieving  forces,  and  given  to  me  by  Colonel 
E.  W.  Shaw  of  the  27th  Madras  Native  Infantry, 
who  also  was  there  with  his  regiment  and  is  still 
living,  enjoying  life  though  eighty  years  of  age, 
and  I  believe  he  is  the  only  surviving  officer  of  that 
regiment  who  were  present  at  the  time. 

The  three  windows  seen  in  the  picture  are  those 
of  the  room  where  the  five  butchers  carried  out 
their  ghastly  work,  the  shrieks  and  scuffling  telling 


220         FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

its  own  pitiful  tale.  The  horrors  commenced  at 
4  p.  m.  one  day  until  too  dark  to  see,  when  the  key- 
was  turned  in  the  door  and  dying  and  dead  were  left 
mixed  up  until  the  morning,  next  day  the  work  was 
continued,  all  being  over  by  9  a.  m.  except  for  a  few 
little  crazed  children  running  round  the  well  where 
their  mothers'  bodies  had  been  thrown.  The  poor 
little  souls  were  seized  and  thrown  in  alive  with  the 
rest.  The  historic  well  lies  between  the  tree  and 
the  building,  commencing  near  the  trunk  of  the 
tree  where  the  decorative  tiles  are  visible  on  the 
broken  wall  and  extending  to  where  they  are  seen 
again  on  the  left. 

In  a  letter  received  from  Colonel  Shaw  after  read- 
ing my  last  book  of  "Memories,"  he  says,  referring 
to  my  description  of  the  historic  rooms  and  well, 
"The  house  was  exactly  in  the  condition  you  have 
described."  Later  he  adds,  'T  also  went  to  see 
where  our  poor  countrymen  and  women  had  made 
so  gallant  a  defence.  The  entrenchment  was  so  low 
anyone  could  have  jumped  over  it,  and  it  is  wonder- 
ful how  they  were  able  to  hold  out  so  long." 

But  now  about  the  drive,  though  after  thinking 
and  writing  of  the  Cawnpore  days  it  is  difficult  to 
write  of  frivolities.  We  decided  to  stay  at  an  hotel 
while  passing  through  the  city,  as  we  were  hardly 
presentable  enough  for  putting  up  with  friends. 
I  retired  to  my  room,  the  men  went  off  to  drink 
pegs  with  one  of  the  Regiments  stationed  there  at 
the  time,  I  rather  fancy  it  was  the  95th. 

After  a  while  the  men  came  back  to  say  they  had 


H 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS         221 

promised  that  we  would  all  dine  at  their  mess  that 
night  and  a  carriage  would  be  sent  to  fetch  us. 
We  had  no  evening  garment  suitable  to  the  occasion 
with  us,  but  made  ourselves  clean.  During  the 
cleansing  process  in  my  room,  which  opened  on  to  a 
verandah,  one  of  the  crows,  so  bold  and  cheeky  in 
India,  insisted  on  coming  in.  I  shoo-ed  it  out  sev- 
eral times,  but  it  came  back  again  and  made  tracks 
for  a  tea-tray  standing  near  my  bed.  I  then  threw 
a  brush  at  it.  Beyond  hopping  to  one  side  no  no- 
tice was  taken  of  my  hostility,  so  I  picked  up  a 
teaspoon  and  threw  that,  which  the  bird  promptly 
picked  up  and  flew  away  with  it.  I  never  saw  the 
treasure  again,  and  it  was  a  treasure  for  I  greatly 
dislike  the  taste  of  metal  in  my  tea  and  when 
travelling  always  carried  this  old  silver  spoon  with 
me,  and  now  it  was  gone.  The  crow  scored  and  I 
felt  annoyed  both  with  the  bird  and  myself.  It  was 
a  much-travelled  spoon. 

Being  told  the  carriage  was  waiting  my  pleasure, 
I  emerged  clean  but  ruffled. 

The  carriage  turned  out  to  be  a  bullock  cart,  a 
low  sort  of  afl^air  with  high  sides.  The  seats  ran 
omnibus-fashion  down  each  side,  comfortably  cush- 
ioned in  Turkey  red.  The  steeds  were  two  milk- 
white  bullocks  with  humps  on  their  backs,  or 
"humfs,"  as  my  very  English  bearer  called  them. 
The  servant  who  had  brought  this  equipage  was  not 
allowed  to  drive,  as  Colonel  Sartorious  declared  he 
was  proficient  in  the  art  of  driving  such  cattle. 
The  gentle-eyed  beasts  of  burden  resenting  a  new 


222         FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

driver  refused  to  start  until  their  usual  driver  spoke 
swear  words  to  them,  then  we  got  under  way,  Col- 
onel Sartorious  driving  without  reins  as  is  usual 
under  the  circumstances,  the  gliding  and  urging 
being  carried  out  entirely  by  twisting  the  animals' 
tails.  Presently,  without  any  warning,  we  came  to 
a  full  stop,  and  the  steeds  lay  down  in  the  middle 
of  the  road.  The  servant  running  behind  thought 
Colonel  Sartorious  must  have  been  giving  an  extra 
twist  or  perhaps  a  twist  too  little  and  this  was  the 
result. 

We  were  growing  very  hungry  and  our  hosts 
were  waiting  for  us,  so  we  were  firm  and  refused  to 
allow  the  Colonel  to  drive  us  any  more,  though  he 
protested,  saying  he  had  often  driven  the  same  sort 
of  animals  in  the  same  sort  of  cart  belonging  to  his 
own  regiment,  the  6th  Bengal  Cavalry. 

We  arrived  late  of  course,  and  threw  the  blame 
on  to  the  broad  shoulders  of  the  driver  who  had  so 
fancied  his  own  powers  in  bullock-driving. 

We  passed  the  guardian  angel  standing  over  the 
historic  well  as  we  moved  homewards  the  follow- 
ing day,  and  it  was  just  the  hour  when  long  years 
before  the  Agony  of  Cawnpore  had  begun,  4  p.  m., 
the  time  when  those  murdered  ones  had  been  in 
the  habit  of  "eating  the  air,"  as  they  say  in  India, 
when  people  emerge  after  the  heat  of  the  day.  I 
suppose  I  had  become  very  silent,  for  I  was  asked 
if  anything  was  the  matter.  My  husband  replied 
for  me,  saying,  "She  always  gets  the  dumps  in 
Cawnpore!" 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS         223 

I  used  to  enjoy  talking  over  Mutiny  times  and 
Indian  days  with  Sir  Owen  Burne.  He  seemed  to 
have  noticed  so  many  things  that  had  escaped 
others,  and  our  views  often  coincided.  He  was  an- 
other of  my  friends  who  were  present  at  the  murder 
of  Lord  Mayo,  and  he  had  enjoyed  a  little  jaunt  on 
the  Suez  Canal  with  my  friend,  Monsieur  de  Les- 
seps,  though  in  his  case  it  was  before  the  canal  was 
opened  to  the  world.  He  was  also  a  great  admirer 
of  Lord  Lytton,  for  whom  he  had  acted  as  private 
secretary. 

It  was  after  Sir  Owen's  return  to  England,  when 
Lord  Mayo  was  killed,  that  Queen  Victoria  sent  for 
him  to  tell  her  all  about  it,  he  having  been  private 
secretary  to  the  Viceroy  at  the  time  of  his  death. 

I  was  an  admirer  of  Sir  Owen's.  He  was  so  per- 
severing and  so  plucky,  having  no  one  but  himself 
to  thank  for  arriving  at  the  top  of  the  ladder.  He 
was  one  of  nineteen  children  and  started  in  the 
world  with  twenty-five  pounds  in  his  pocket,  the 
only  sum  of  money  he  ever  took  from  his  people, 
who  were  not  rich  and  had  so  large  a  family  to 
bring  up. 

I  have  had  many  discussions  with  him  over  vol- 
unteering for  Active  Service.  He  disapproved 
strongly  of  men  "volunteering  for  medals  and 
fame."  I  told  him  w^hat  he  was  saying  was  really 
disapproving  of  ambition,  which  is  such  a  splendid 
attribute  and  without  which  neither  men  nor  wom- 
en do  much  good  either  for  themselves  or  other 
people,  and  I  was  surprised  at  his  expressing  such 


224         FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

views  considering  ambition  had  been  so  great  a 
factor  in  his  own  life.  He  replied,  if  the  country 
wanted  men  they  would  be  called  for  without  any 
medal-hunting  on  their  own  part. 

From  Sir  Owen's  earliest  days  I  could  gather  he 
had  been  filled  with  ambition,  and  to  me  it  seemed 
that  his  ambitions  were  amply  fulfilled,  but  much 
of  his  life  was  spoilt  by  feeling  his  endeavours  were 
neither  fully  appreciated  nor  rewarded.  Yet  from 
an  impecunious  subaltern  with  a  shy  manner  he 
became  military  secretary  to  the  Commander-in- 
Chief,  Sir  Hugh  Rose,  for  which  appointment  he 
was  very  young,  and  he  felt  most  keenly  that  when 
some  cases  with  which  he  had  been  dealing  were 
reported  in  the  usual  course  of  events  to  the  Com- 
mander-in-Chief in  England,  he  expressed  disap- 
proval, laying  the  blame  on  "the  very  young  Mili- 
tary Secretary."  The  Duke  of  Cambridge  having 
approved  of  the  appointment  at  the  time  it  was 
ofifered  to  Sir  Owen.  The  latter  felt  annoyed  and 
pained,  he  therefore  resigned,  feeling  rather  bitter 
and  very  disappointed.  He  appears,  however,  to 
have  taken  it  in  the  right  spirit. 

He  worked  hard  all  his  life,  passing  from  one 
good  appointment  to  another,  amongst  them  politi- 
cal A.D.C.  to  the  Duke  of  Argyll,  Secretary  of 
State  for  India,  head  of  the  political  and  secret  de- 
partment of  India  Office  in  London,  etc.,  never  do- 
ing anything  epoch-making  or  particularly  brilliant, 
but  some  of  the  pictures  in  life  that  are  in  subdued 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS         225 

colouring  are  the  most  pleasing  and  remain  long 
in  the  memory. 

I  think  the  private  den  of  Sir  Owen's,  when  in 
Sutherland  Avenue  in  London,  and  Mr.  Grant's, 
secretary  to  the  Yacht  Squadron  at  Cowes  in  the 
Isle  of  Wight,  were  amongst  the  most  interesting  I 
can  remember,  being  full  of  souvenirs  and  gifts 
from  kings,  queens,  and  people  of  interest,  histor- 
ically, famously  and  infamously  great.  I  delighted 
in  wandering  round  the  rooms  of  these  two  friends 
and  hearing  the  histories  attached  to  the  treasures. 

Amongst  the  amusing  stories  Sir  Owen  told  me 
was  one  of  the  time  of  the  Shah  of  Persia's  visit 
to  England.  He  was  rather  a  troublesome  person 
to  control,  and  could  not  understand  why  he  must 
not  do  exactly  as  he  liked.  For  instance,  once 
when  told  he  (the  Shah)  must  take  the  Queen  in 
to  dinner  he  absolutely  and  flatly  declined  explain- 
ing there  was  another  lady  of  very  ample  propor- 
tions (but  whose  name  I  must  not  mention)  who 
appealed  to  his  taste  much  more,  and  he  intended  to 
take  her  in,  and  Sir  Owen  must  see  to  it  that  his 
wishes  were  respected.  Sir  Owen  turned  first  one 
big  official  and  then  another  on  to  His  Highness, 
who  eventually  did  as  he  was  told,  but  very  sulkily 
and  with  bad  grace,  fairly  dragging  the  poor  Queen 
in  to  dinner. 

After  this  had  passed  off  without  undue  com- 
ment, the  Shah  informed  Sir  Owen  he  wished  to  see 
a  boxing  contest  "with  lots  of  blood !"  Not  wishing 
to  again  offend,  Sir  Owen,  feeling  very  uncomfort- 


226         FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

able  at  having  to  arrange  anything  of  the  kind  to 
take  place  on  the  royal  premises,  and  wondering 
what  would  happen  if  it  was  found  out,  arranged 
with  Lord  Oueensberry  and,  I  think.  Sir  Claude  de 
Crespigny,  to  have  a  garden  performance  in  a  quiet 
corner  somewhere  near  the  Royal  stables. 

Unfortunately  things  went  wrong,  there  were  so 
many  appointments  to  be  made  and  kept.  Some- 
how the  bishops  in  lawn  sleeves  and  frills,  who  were 
awaiting  an  interview  with  the  potentate  to  beg 
him  to  use  his  influence  to  protect  Christian  Mis- 
sions, got  mixed  up  with  the  fight.  The  dignitaries 
turned  tail  and  fled,  feeling  strangely  out  of  place 
in  their  robes  and  frills. 

It  was  most  awkward,  for  barring  this  accident 
the  fight  might  have  passed  off  without  many  peo- 
ple knowing  much  about  it.  Lord  Shaftesbury, 
however,  who  was  acting  as  spokesman  for  the 
Bishops,  was  furious  and,  spluttering  with  rage, 
asked  Sir  Owen  what  he  meant  by  arranging  fights 
in  the  precincts  of  the  Palace.  When  calmer  he 
addressed  the  Shah  on  behalf  of  the  Bishops  in 
suitable  language.  In  reply  His  Highness  said 
curtly  in  Persian,  "Oh,  hang  the  Christian  Mis- 
sions." It  was  Sir  Owen's  privilege  and  duty  to 
repeat  the  Shah's  words  in  a  beautiful  form  that 
would  appeal  to  the  prelates  and  make  them  happy. 
This  he  succeeded  in  doing. 

When  it  was  all  explained  to  the  Queen  she  was 
quite  placid  and  calm,  understanding  the  arrange- 
ment had  been  made  purely  for  the  entertainment 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS         227 

of  her  guest  at  his  own  request,  but  some  of  the 
Court  officials  bristled  with  indignation  as  if  they 
had  been  personally  insulted.  It  was  hard  on  Sir 
Owen  as  the  very  last  thing  in  the  world  that 
would  have  afforded  him  pleasure  would  have  been 
a  fight  of  any  kind,  yet  he  was  treated  by  some  as 
if  he  were  a  naughty  schoolboy  who  had  been 
caught  stealing  lollypops. 

The  prize  fight  having  been  cut  short  by  the  en- 
trance of  the  Bishops,  the  Shah  now  suggested  that 
he  would  like  to  see  a  cock  fight,  but  by  this  time 
neither  Sir  Owen  nor  anybody  else  felt  the  least 
inclined  to  humour  the  foreign  guest — Shah  or 
otherwise. 

Lord  Sydney,  the  then  Lord  Chamberlain,  wrote 
a  very  indignant  letter  to  Lord  Queensberry,  asking 
him  how  he  dared  turn  Buckingham  Palace  into  a 
boxing-saloon.  Lord  Queensberry  by  way  of  reply 
enclosed  the  letter  he  had  received  from  Lord 
KnoUys  asking  him  to  get  up  the  show,  adding, 
"Might  I  ask  my  lord  to  what  department  of  Her 
Majesty's  Government  I  am  to  apply  to  be  refunded 
the  £25  which  I  paid  the  pugilists?" 

No  reply  was  received  to  this. 

All  the  officials  in  any  way  connected  with  the 
Shah's  well-being  and  happiness  during  his  sojourn 
on  our  shores  were  thankful  when  the  day  came  for 
his  return  to  his  own  country.  His  demands  were 
without  precedent,  and  all  matters  connected  with 
Courts  and  Royalties  are  ruled  by  established  pre- 
cedent. 


228  FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

For  instance  what  was  to  be  done  when  he  gave 
orders  that  the  whole  of  the  Alhambra  ballet,  also 
Cornel ie  D'Anka,  were  to  be  purchased  for  him  and 
his  Grand  Vizier  sent  to  bring  them  along. 

Nobody  dare  break  the  news  to  the  potentate  that 
this  was  not  feasible.  At  last  the  Grand  Vizier 
looking  crestfallen  returned  to  announce  his  failure 
in  carrying  out  his  orders.  ''All  right,"  remarked 
the  Shah,  "wait  until  we  get  back  to  Teheran  and 
then  off  comes  your  head." 

It  was  arranged  amongst  other  things  to  amuse 
this  foreign  visitor  that  he  should  be  taken  to 
Epsom  races.  He  was  pleased  with  the  idea.  The 
first  race  was  won  by  Lord  Rosebery,  then  Prime 
Minister,  the  second  by  the  Prince  of  Wales.  "Ah ! 
I  see,"  said  the  Shah,  "you  arrange  the  races  the 
same  as  we  do  in  Teheran,  only  the  Shah  and  Grand 
Vizier  are  allowed  to  win." 

One  day  when  he  was  driving  through  the  streets 
with  the  Queen,  there  was  considerable  cheering. 
He  remarked  to  the  Queen,  that  this  must  be  very 
expensive.  Her  Majesty  rather  indignantly  replied, 
"Certainly  not,  merely  the  latent  loyalty  of  my 
subjects." 

"Oh,"  replied  the  Shah,  "when  I  want  to  be 
cheered  in  Teheran  I  have  to  disburse  much 
largesse!" 

It  has  interested  me  watching  the  way  that  the 
treatment  children  and  young  people  meet  with 
affects  their  characters.  Some  who  have  been 
harshly  treated  and  had  to  struggle  for  themselves 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS         229 

become  harsh  and  take  their  revenge  when  their 
time  comes,  meting  out  the  same  treatment  that 
they  have  received  with  interest,  the  harder  from 
having  conquered  single-handed  and  not  forgetting 
to  impress  that  fact  on  those  under  their  thumb. 
Others  it  makes  helpful  to  young  ones  going 
through  the  mill.  This  was  the  case  with  Sir  Owen 
Burne.  He  was  most  kind  and  at  all  times  helpful 
to  young  ones  "coming  on."  His  own  small  family 
adored  him.  He  married  twice,  his  first  wife  was 
a  sister  of  Lord  Kilmaine,  his  second  was  Lady 
Agnes  Douglas,  daughter  of  the  Earl  of  Morton. 

I  think  I  can  best  describe  my  friend  as  a  dainty 
man,  dainty  in  speech  and  in  choice  of  his  friends, 
more  particularly  his  women  friends. 

He  died  in  1909. 


CHAPTER  XII 

The  Pantechnicon  on  Fire — Caught  in  the  Crowd — ^Un- 
pleasant Experiences — A  Goat  to  the  Rescue — Another 
Alarm  on  board  Ship;  nearly  wrecked — A  Calcutta 
Merchant  Loses  his  Head — Author  Helps  him  to  Save 
his  Soul — King  Edward  VH's  Coronation — A  Long 
Wait — The  Procession — Archbishop  of  Canterbury- 
Overtired — The  King  Helps  him — The  King  Kisses  his 
Son — Emotional  Moments — A  Funeral  at  Sea — Some 
Love  Affairs — How  they  were  Arranged — One  of  the 
Saddest  Sights  in  Life — A  Naughty  Favourite  at  Court 
— Discovered  Philandering — A  General  and  his  Son 
Aspire  to  the  Hand  of  Same  Lady — Bishop  Warburton's 
Views  of  Life. 

THERE  are  few  of  us  I  suppose  who  at  some 
time  or  other  in  our  lives  have  not  been 
really  frightened.  I  have  been  in  a  rail- 
way accident  and  was  not  the  least  alarmed;  cer- 
tainly it  was  more  funny  than  serious,  but  we  did 
not  know  at  the  time  how  it  was  going  to  turn  out. 
Hunting  and  carriage  accidents  I  have  had  galore, 
and  I  do  not  remember  being  particularly  fright- 
ened ;  I  have  also  slept  in  a  haunted  room  all  alone, 
feeling  very  brave  and  not  the  least  frightened, 
possibly  because  I  saw  no  ghost ;  but  I  can  remem- 
ber twice  in  my  life  being  petrified  with  fright  and 
thoroughly  ashamed  of  myself  for  being  so. 

230 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS         231 

Once  was  when  the  pantechnicon  in  Motcomb 
Street  off  Lowndes  Square  was  on  fire. 

My  mother  and  I  were  staying  with  friends  in 
Lancaster  Gate  while  my  wedding  garments  were 
being  prepared.  One  afternoon  between  tea  and 
dinner  an  old  friend,  Mr.  Fred  Verner  (son  of  Colo- 
nel Verner,  who  married  Mrs.  Hamborough,  of 
Steephill  Castle),  came  in  and  told  us  there  was  a 
big  fire  on,  somewhere  in  the  South-west  district, 
and  he  thought  we  should  be  able  to  see  the  flames 
and  smoke  from  the  upper  windows  of  the  house 
we  were  in. 

Never  having  seen  a  big  fire,  I  expressed  a  wish 
to  go  and  have  that  experience,  so  we  all  bundled 
off  in  hansom  cabs,  telling  the  drivers  to  take  us  as 
near  to  the  fire  as  they  could.  Naturally,  we  all  got 
separated,  each  cabman  having  views  of  his  own 
as  to  the  shortest  route.  I  was  in  a  cab  with  Mr. 
Verner,  and  we  got  comparatively  close  to  the  scene. 
Great  crowds  had  already  collected  and,  what  I  had 
not  counted  on,  fresh  crowds  soon  hemmed  us  in, 
and  the  flames  were  advancing  in  our  direction  in 
leaps  and  bounds.  Sparks  were  falling  on  the 
horse's  back  and  on  the  people,  who  tried  to  get 
out  of  the  way  as  we  did,  but  were  unable  to  do 
so  owing  to  the  crowd  behind  us. 

The  horse  grew  wild  and  so  did  the  crowd;  the 
cabby  lashed  with  his  whip  at  the  men  who  inter- 
fered with  his  horse's  head  until  it  was  seized  from, 
him  and  broken  up. 

Those  around  us  were  now  growing  hostile,  and 


232         FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

things  looked  serious,  when  their  attention  was 
diverted  by  a  livery-stable  keeper  close  to  where  we 
were,  trying  to  get  his  horses  out  of  their  stables, 
which  were  now  on  fire. 

Nothing  would  persuade  the  animals  to  come  out 
until  a  goat  was  produced  and  handed  in  from  some 
back  premises,  after  which  a  few  of  the  horses  fol- 
lowed it.    The  rest,  I  fear,  were  burnt. 

The  smell  and  the  heat  combined  was  over- 
powering. Our  cabby  relieved  his  feelings  by  air- 
ing his  most  telling  swear  words.  Mr.  Verner  was 
fervently  wishing  "to  God  I  had  never  brought  you 
out,"  when  our  horse  after  one  more  futile  effort  to 
frighten  the  crowd,  fell  down  on  its  side  with  a 
crash,  breaking  both  shafts.  At  first  we  thought 
it  was  dead  so  still  did  it  lie;  but  I  think  the  num- 
ber of  people  who  promptly  stood  on  its  head  and 
all  over  its  body  was  the  cause  of  its  quietude. 

Happily  for  us,  a  policeman  walking  on  the  roof 
of  the  stables  saw  our  danger  and  directed  the  hose 
to  be  turned  on  the  crowd  behind  us,  which  led  to 
our  being  escorted  from  the  remains  of  our  cab 
into  a  house  in  Lowndes  Square,  where  we  remained 
for  a  while  before  making  our  way  home.  I  escaped 
with  nothing  worse  than  a  badly  bruised  arm, 
where  I  had  been  forced  into  the  iron  thing  the 
window  shuts  down  on. 

Mr.  Verner  handed  some  money  to  the  cabman 
with  his  card  before  we  left  him,  and  we  saw  the 
poor  little  gee  get  on  to  its  legs  again  looking  much 
older,  and  so  did  we.    In  addition  to  having  added 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS         233 

to  our  years  we  were  wet  through  from  the  water 
that  was  played  around  us  to  clear  off  the  crowd, 
and  I  could  not  get  the  smell  of  burning  out  of  my 
hair  for  a  long  time. 

I  never  wish  to  be  in  a  crowd  of  that  description 
again,  and  I  now  take  care  to  avoid  fires  if  pos- 
sible. 

I  believe  the  goat  that  was  fetched  to  induce  the 
horses  to  follow  it  was  the  one  belonging  to  the 
Duke  of  Cambridge,  which  spent  its  life  wander- 
ing unmolested  between  Gloucester  House  and  Pic- 
cadilly from  end  to  end.  Long  after  the  fire  I  was 
told  that  the  goat  belonged  to  the  Duke;  if  so,  it 
was  probably  the  one  I  remember  some  years  later 
when  we  were  in  Park  Lane.  Its  staple  food 
seemed  to  be  newspapers,  which  it  ate  with  avidity, 
what  else  it  had  I  do  not  know.  Billy  managed  to 
thrive,  being  fat  and  comely,  while  dignified  and 
majestic,  friendly  with  all  except  errand  boys,  who, 
however,  were  not  interfered  with  unless  they  spoke 
words  of  endearment  or  made  chirrupy  noises. 

My  next  fright  was  on  board  ship  going  out  to 
India,  when  the  Eldorado  was  wrecked  off  the  coast 
of  Portugal,  the  sea  was  running  mountains  high, 
and  there  was  a  nasty  fog.  We  had  been  signalled 
to  pick  up  some  of  the  passengers,  and  got  into 
trouble  ourselves.  It  was  evening,  and  we  had  been 
sent  to  our  berths  for  safety,  as  the  sea  was  wash- 
ing everything  off  the  deck.  We  were  allowed 
light,  however,  so  that  we  might  amuse  ourselves  as 
best  we  could.    Judging  by  the  thundering  of  the 


234         FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

seas  smashing  on  to  the  deck  matters  were  not  im- 
proving. We  could  hear  amidst  all  the  noise 
anxious  voices  shouting  words  of  command  on  the 
deck,  bells  ringing  to  the  engine-room,  and  general 
excitement. 

We  had  been  having  some  excitement  ourselves 
in  our  endeavour  to  remain  in  our  berths,  when  with 
an  extra  roll,  which  we  all  thought  was  bound  to  be 
her  last,  the  ship  heeled  over  to  such  an  extent  that 
all  lights  went  out,  swinging  water-bottles  turned 
somersaults,  crockery  from  one  end  of  the  ship  to 
the  other  seemed  to  be  smashing,  passengers 
screamed  and  groaned,  water  rushed  down  the  com- 
panionway  into  the  saloon  with  such  force  that  it 
burst  my  cabin  door  open. 

I  had  been  thrown  completely  out  of  my  bunk 
with  mattress  and  bedding  on  top  of  me.  My  port- 
manteau bobbed  about  in  the  water  on  one  side, 
having  broken  loose  from  under  my  crib,  and  pieces 
of  crockery  and  books  were  flying  about  m.y  head. 
I  do  not  know  what  besides,  for  it  was  as  dark  as 
ink. 

Presently  someone  came  splashing  down  the 
saloon  shouting  that  we  were  all  to  dress  at  once 
and  go  on  deck.  Go  on  deck,  indeed!  Easier  said 
than  done.  Personally  I  was  so  petrified  with  fright 
that  not  to  save  my  life  could  I  have  walked  a 
yard.  I  think  the  screaming  of  the  women  and 
children  in  the  other  cabins,  combined  with  the 
darkness  and  wealth  of  water  in  the  cabin,  must 
have  been  what  deprived  me  of  my  power  to  move. 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS         235 

I  said  to  myself,  "This  is  ridiculous.  I  must  not 
give  way  and  be  a  fool."  An  extra  sluice  of  water 
brought  something  with  it  that  gave  me  a  bump  on 
the  head.  The  water  was  in  my  ears  and  every- 
thing buzzing  and  a  long  way  off,  and  then  I  was  to 
all  intents  and  purposes  dead. 

All  my  life,  since  I  began  to  notice  things  and 
think,  I  had  held  a  firm  belief  that  death  was  not  a 
thing  to  dread,  on  the  contrary,  that  it  was  rather 
beautiful,  and  that  many  confused  the  process  of 
dying  with  death.  The  actual  dying,  paying  the 
last  penalty  for  having  lived  and  for  all  our  short- 
comings, is  often  painful,  at  times  an  agony;  but 
death  is  not ;  I  have  felt  ever  since  that  voyage  that 
I  have  experienced  dying  and  tasted  death. 

When  I  became  conscious  again  I  was  in  a  nice 
dry  bunk  and  the  stewardess  sitting  beside  me.  I 
was  told  I  was  not  to  talk,  but  she  gave  me  some 
details  of  what  had  eventually  happened.  A  little 
child  in  the  next  cabin  to  mine  had  suffered  a  good 
deal,  its  arm  and  one  thumb  being  broken. 

The  ship  had  at  the  last  moment  decided  to  right 
herself,  but  nobody  had  been  allowed  on  deck  as 
everything  was  in  a  mess  and  had  to  be  cleared  up. 

As  soon  as  I  was  able  to  appear,  I  was  asked  if 
I  would  see  what  I  could  do  with  a  Calcutta  mer- 
chant who  had  refused  to  get  off  the  floor  of  his 
cabin,  where  he  lay  on  his  tummy  groaning  at  in- 
tervals. We  had  been  great  friends  up  to  the  time 
of  our  fright,  so  I  went  and  asked  him  what  he 
thought  he  was  doing.     On  hearing  my  voice  he 


236  FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

pushed  one  hand  along  the  floor  in  front  of  him 
saying,  "Oh!  is  that  you?  I  am  saving  my  soul!" 
I  told  him  if  he  would  get  up  and  come  with  me  into 
the  saloon,  or  better  still,  on  deck,  w^here  I  felt  less 
sick,  I  would  help  him  with  the  task.  After  a  while 
he  consented,  but  he  was  terribly  shaken  and  quite 
childish,  bursting  into  tears  at  intervals. 

Like  a  good  r:v  more  on  board,  I  was  very 
brave  w^hen  it  w^as  all  over,  and  able  to  help  in 
clothing  the  passengers  from  the  Eldorado  that  we 
had  picked  up,  by  lending  and  altering  clothes  for 
them,  they  having  arrived  on  board  with  nothing 
but  night  garments,  waterproof  cloaks  and  such- 
like things. 

After  this  episode  I  meditated  a  good  deal  on 
courage,  and  tried  to  comfort  myself  with  the 
thought  that  it  is  not  a  virtue  at  all  really,  as  it  may 
and  can  quite  easily  become  the  servant  of  great 
villainy!  After  this  reflection  my  self-respect  re- 
turned in  a  measure. 

Perhaps  the  two  ceremonies  that  have  impressed 
me  most  were  King  Edward  VIFs  Coronation,  with 
all  its  pageantry,  and  a  funeral  at  sea,  grandly  and 
painfully  simple. 

The  former  was  a  great  gathering,  all  glitter, 
pomp  and  stateliness,  but  a  most  fatiguing  day  for 
all  concerned.  The  morning  was  cold  and  cloudy. 
Everyone  had  to  be  in  his  place  in  the  Abbey  by 
8  a.  m.,  though  the  King  and  Queen  did  not  arrive 
until  1 1. 1 5.  Some  people  sat  in  their  places  all 
night  for  fear  of  being  unable  to  find  their  seats. 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS         237 

There  was,  however,  plenty  to  occupy  and  amuse 
the  mind  during  the  waiting  hours,  by  watching 
the  seats  filling  up.  It  was  a  wonderful  scene,  from 
the  south  transept  the  altar  could  be  seen  and  the 
seats  where  the  King  and  Queen  knelt  to  receive 
the  sacrament.  In  the  north  transept  sat  the  peer- 
esses, in  the  south  the  peers.  Galleries  were  thrown 
across  and  further  back  for  members  of  the  House 
of  Commons  and  their  wives. 

All  were  beginning  to  feel  as  if  they  could  take 
in  a  reef  about  their  waists  when  the  procession  was 
heralded  by  the  singing  of  "Ein  Feste  Burg  1st 
Unser  Gott,"  accompanied  by  trumpets.  Heard 
from  the  distance  by  those  in  the  galleries  it  sounded 
soft  and  sweet,  and  our  emotions,  which  were  many 
on  that  day,  had  begun.  Then,  as  the  procession 
filed  in,  came  the  exultant  fanfare  of  trumpets  and 
as  they  died  away  the  Westminster  boys,  hidden 
away  somewhere  near  the  organ,  suddenly  and 
startlingly  burst  forth  with  "Ave,  ave,  ave,"  fol- 
lowed by  a  verse  in  Latin  and  winding  up  with  a 
shrill  and  most  efifective  "Vivat,  vivat,  vivat." 

The  beautiful  and  stately  Queen,  as  she  moved 
holding  the  King's  hand,  showed  as  well  as  did  the 
King,  signs  that  the  emotions  of  their  subjects  was 
shared  also  by  them.  Many,  both  old  and  young, 
were  moved  to  tears. 

The  poor  old  Archbishop  of  Canterbury,  after 
administering  the  oath  and  the  actual  Coronation, 
(when  he  nearly  dropped  the  Crown),  found  his 
strength  considerably  taxed.    The  King  and  Queen 


238  FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

took  their  seats  near  the  altar  to  receive  homage, 
he  was  the  first  to  render  it,  and  found  he  was  un- 
able to  rise  again,  and  had  to  be  helped  by  the  King, 
who  took  him  kindly  by  the  hand. 

King  George,  at  that  time  Prince  of  Wales,  was 
the  next  to  kneel  in  homage,  and  the  King  put  his 
arm  round  his  son's  neck,  kissing  him  affectionaiely. 
It  was  very  touching,  and  Lord  Spencer,  one  of  the 
most  conspicuous  figures  at  the  Coronation,  found 
an  inconvenient  tear  or  two  trickling  down  his  nose. 

All  was  so  real  and  yet  so  like  a  dream.  Many 
thoughts  filtered  through  one's  brain,  while  for 
some  reason  the  refrain  of  that  old  song,  "For  the 
Fashion  of  This  World  Passeth  Away,"  kept  haunt- 
ing me.  Truly  a  great  "tomasa,"  impressive  and 
splendid,  and  yet  for  what  a  little  while — and  then 
— all  present  on  that  historic  day  would  be  as  one 
family,  doing  homage  at  the  throne  of  the  Most 
High. 

Dr.  Temple,  the  Archbishop,  who  so  nearly 
dropped  the  crown  through  feebleness,  said  he  con- 
sidered the  greatest  compliment  ever  paid  to  him 
came  from  one  of  his  Rugby  boys,  who  said,  "Tem- 
ple is  a  beast,  but  he  is  a  just  beast." 

At  times  Temple  could  be  quite  witty,  and  once 
when  looking  on  at  a  cricket  match  he  overheard 
one  boy  say  to  another,  "Do  you  know,  Jack,  I 
have  entered  for  the  Confirmation  Stakes." 

A  voice  they  both  immediately  recognised  came 
from  behind  them. 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS         239 

"Well,  you  had  better  consider  yourself 
scratched." 

At  the  end  of  that  tiring  impressive  Coronation 
day  one  was  left  with  a  feeling  of  sadness  and  de- 
pression. I  could  not  shake  it  off;  when  the  service 
was  over  it  all  seemed  still  more  unreal  and  dream- 
like, and  a  number  of  "whys?"  would  keep  cropping 
up  in  my  mind.  I  was  glad  to  fly  back  to  the  coun- 
try, where  the  placid  sheep  hide  their  faces  in  the 
hedge-row,  and  the  trees  whisper  of  things  less 
transitory.  Here  I  could  feel  again  the  calm  and 
content  that  such  things  bring. 

The  funeral  at  sea  struck  me  as  one  of  the  most 
profoundly  grand  and  profoundly  sad  ceremonies 
I  have  ever  witnessed,  and  the  day  has  never  been 
forgotten. 

It  was  in  the  Red  Sea,  and  the  heat  almost  past 
bearing.  A  dear  old  Indian  Civil  servant,  who  had 
spent  all  his  best  years  out  there  to  provide  educa- 
tion and  comforts  for  his  children  and  wife  at  home, 
was  on  his  way  to  the  moment  that  he  had  dreamed 
of  night  and  day  for  long.  The  great  reunion — 
and  then  the  remainder  of  his  days  in  peace — 
amongst  all  his  dear  ones.  As  he  was  out  of  health 
his  eldest  daughter  had  been  sent  to  take  care  of 
him  on  the  way  home,  but  all  her  care  was  of  no 
avail,  and  he  slipped  away  one  very  hot  night. 

I  was  desperately  sorry  for  the  daughter.  She 
was  no  longer  young  and  rather  retiring  and  shy. 
I  pictured  her  sitting  alone  in  her  cabin  facing  all 
the  dread  details  necessary  to  this  occasion,  and 


240         FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

no  one  to  hold  out  a  hand  of  sympathy.  I  wrote 
a  note  and  pushed  it  under  the  door  asking  if  I 
could  do  anything  either  to  save  her  pain  or  help 
to  bear  it.  I  received  a  reply  thanking  me,  but  she 
would  rather  be  alone. 

The  next  day  at  sundown  the  Captain  read  the 
service  that  brings  comfort  to  many  (but  drives  me 
frantic)  over  the  pathetic  figure  done  up  in  sacking 
and  heavily  weighted,  over  which  lay  the  Union 
Jack.  All  were  gathered  close  up  to  the  side  of  the 
ship,  and  the  gangway  let  down.  When  it  came 
to  the  moment  of  committal  the  ship  stopped,  the 
paddle  ceased  churning  the  water,  and  there  was 
not  a  sound  of  any  kind.  I  shut  my  eyes,  for  I 
could  not  bear  it,  and  there  was  an  awful  splash, 
followed  by  a  piercing  cry  of  anguish  from  the  cabin 
just  below.  I  can  see  the  swirl  of  the  water  and 
hear  that  cry  now  as  if  it  were  yesterday.  The 
engines  continued  their  work,  and  in  a  few  minutes 
the  spot  was  left  far  behind. 

But  the  moment  I  heard  that  cry  of  anguish  I 
fled  down  to  the  cabin  and  entered  it  without  knock- 
ing, saying  it  was  not  right  she  should  be  alone,, 
and  folded  my  arms  round  this  comparative  strang- 
er, and  began  to  cry  from  sympathy.  She  lifted 
her  face  from  the  pillow  with  her  hands  still  over 
her  ears  and  looked  at  me  stonily  and  coldly,  and 
as  I  took  her  cold  clammy  hands  into  mine  and  then 
put  my  arm  round  her  neck  and  drew  her  head 
down  on  to  my  shoulder,  she  found  relief  in  tears. 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS         241 

We  were  friends  until  she  died,  not  a  great  number 
of  years  agG. 

The  world  is  sad  enough  already  without  my 
piling  up  the  agony,  and  now  again  I  have  fallen 
away  from  my  resolve,  and  must  not  transgress 
any  more,  but  turn  to  brighter  subjects,  marriage 
and  giving  in  marriage,  for  example.  Some  of  the 
affairs  of  which  I  have  known  have  arranged  them- 
selves in  an  uncommon  manner.  There  was  old 
General  Brownrigg,  a  great  frequenter  of  ladies' 
society  and  five  o'clock  teas.  He  took  considerable 
interest  in  a  girl  whom  he  thought  was  making  her- 
self too  conspicuous  with  a  man  he  knew  something 
against,  so  he  spoke  seriously  to  her  on  the  subject, 
advising  her  not  to  marry  him.  She  answered  him 
thus:  "My  dear  General,  I  have  never  thought  of 
him  in  that  way.  If  there  is  a  man  I  should  like  to 
marry  it  is  yourself."  "Dear  me,  this  is  very  sud- 
den !"  he  replied.  *T  must  take  time  to  consider  and 
entreat  the  Lord."  He  went  home  and  on  to  his 
marrow  bones. 

They  were  married! 

Rather  a  curious  thing  happened  once  when  I 
was  at  the  Academy  with  a  man  in  the  Carabineers. 
He  stopped  dead  before  a  picture  of  a  nice-looking 
girl,  not  particularly  pretty,  but  very  lady-like  and 
with  a  sweet  expression.  He  stood  lost  in  con- 
templation for  some  moments.  I  asked  him  if  he 
admired  it  very  much,  and  he  replied,  "Yes!  look 
at  the  book  and  tell  me  who  she  is,  will  you?"  I 
did  as  I  was  asked.    He  had  never  seen  the  original 


242         FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

in  his  life,  but  said  she  was  the  girl  he  should  like 
to  marry,  and  he  did  before  he  was  much  older. 

I  have  noticed  how  some  of  the  ugliest  of  men 
have  been  the  most  successful  with  women.  Mira- 
beau  established  this  fact,  in  spite  of  his  ugly- 
scarred  and  pox-marked  face  crowned  with  a  head 
of  untidy  black  hair,  he  not  only  found  a  woman 
to  marry  him  but  had  a  considerable  number  of 
liaisons  as  well.  But  then  we  are  told  beauty  is  in 
the  eye  of  the  beholder.  How  often  men  flutter 
about  amongst  the  pretty  and  handsome  girls  and 
then  marry  a  plain  one ! 

I  am  now  supposed  to  have  arrived  at  years  of 
discretion  and  have  definitely  come  to  the  conclu- 
sion that  the  happiest  marriages  are  not  those 
where  man  and  woman  are  passionately  in  love  with 
one  another,  each  believing  the  other  perfect  for 
about  a  fortnight,  after  which  one  or  both  fall  from 
their  pedestals.  The  carefully  thought-out  mar- 
riage of  convenience  has  a  much  better  sporting 
chance  of  happiness.  Too  much  is  not  expected,  and 
each  respects  the  other's  reason  for  making  the 
arrangement.  I  have  known  one  or  two  of  these 
end  most  happily. 

The  dififerent  methods  and  ways  that  men  make 
love  would  make  an  amusing  chapter,  and  if  the 
names  of  the  individuals  were  given  it  would  be 
more  amusing  still,  but  that  would  not  be  fair. 

There  is  often  something  rather  ridiculous  about 
old  men  flirtations  and  love-making,  but  when 
women  become  lovish  in  their  middle  and  old  age  it 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS         243 

is  tragic.  One  of  the  saddest  sights  in  life  is  a 
frisky  frump! 

It  is  astonishing  when  you  have  been  behind  the 
scenes  for  a  while  to  find  the  number  of  people 
whom  you  had  considered  as  the  acme  of  straight- 
lacedness  and  virtue  who  deviate  from  the  straight 
path. 

Some  elderly  men  make  love  quite  nicely.  I  re- 
member one  experience  of  my  own,  when  quite  a 
girl.  A  dear  Old  General,  then  at  the  War  Office 
honoured  me  by  asking  me  to  be  his  wife.  His  son, 
afterwards  in  the  Scots  Guards,  likewise  did  me  the 
honour.  The  former  used  to  say,  "Don't  let  that 
young  cub  of  mine  make  an  ass  of  himself.  I'll  cut 
him  off  with  a  penny  if  he  does."  The  son,  in  his 
turn,  used  to  say,  "The  poor  old  governor  is  getting 
a  bit  childish.  If  he  bores  you,  let  me  know  and 
I'll  put  a  stop  to  it !"  The  General  was  rather  pep- 
pery and  most  people  were  frightened  of  him;  so 
when  he  popped  the  question  I  did  not  know  how 
to  get  out  of  the  difficulty  of  saying  I  regretted  I 
did  not  see  my  way  to  oblige  him.  Amongst  other 
rather  lame  reasons  that  I  brought  forth  was  that 
I  should  see  so  little  of  him  as  he  would  always  be 
at  work  in  the  War  Office.  I  was  at  once  asked  if 
I  thought  he  was  a  clerk  who  went  to  work  at 
eight  a.  m.,  and  returned  home  at  eight  p.  m.  ?  I 
hastily  said  of  course  not,  though  I  had  not  formed 
ideas  on  the  point.  He  then  with  a  pained  smile 
said,  *T  go  to  work  about  twelve  and  return  about 
four !"    It  obviously  would  not  do  to  say  that  under 


244         FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

these  circumstances  I  should  see  too  much  of  him 
perhaps. 

I  ended  in  making  such  a  donkey  of  myself  in  my 
endeavour  not  to  hurt  the  feelings  of  the  good  man, 
who  had  been  very  kind  to  me  when  only  an  awk- 
ward school  girl,  that  I  left  him  in  the  seventh 
heaven  of  delight  thinking  I  was  going  to  make 
him  happy  for  life  and  be  a  mother  to  his  son! 

My  father  had  to  readjust  the  matter. 

Bishop  Warburton  says  the  last  of  our  lives  is 
"a  losing  game."  I  do  not  quite  agree  with  him.  It 
is  true  that  we  only  learn  how  to  live  when  we  are 
likely  to  be  called  upon  to  die,  but  the  last  half  of 
our  lives  is  one  of  more  contentment,  our  ideals  no 
longer  beckon  us  as  we  gather  up  the  threads  of  the 
past  which  we  have  learned  to  look  upon  with  un- 
impassioned  eyes,  the  days  when  everything  seemed 
so  overpowering  by  contrast  to  to-day.  We  all  set 
out  thinking  and  expecting  to  be  amused  by  life, 
not  grasping  that  vintil  we  have  obtained  life's  satis- 
faction we  are  not  in  a  position  to  be  amused  at  all. 
It  requires  a  stout  heart  to  sing  in  exile. 

I  remember  an  elderly  man,  who  was  known  to 
have  many  loves,  once  asking  my  young  brother  if 
the  Lyric  Club  (after  it  had  moved  from  Bond 
Street,  and  where  fortnightly  dances  were  then  be- 
ing held)  w^as  a  place  where  he  could  take  ladies. 

My  brother  replied,  "Well,  that  depends  whether 
you  mean  ladies  or  lydies!"  The  old  boy  looked 
uncomfortable. 


CHAPTER  XIII 

The  Marquess  of  Queensberry  has  a  Row  with  a  Pugilist — 
What  Sir  Claude  de  Crespigny  Thought  of  him — A  Row 
on  a  Race-course — A  Friend  for  Life — A  Long  Ride — 
Breeches  and  Boots  Cut  Off — The  Queensberry  Rules 
drawn  up  by  Someone  Else — A  Steeplechase  on  Foot 
with  Fred  Cotton — A  Swim  in  the  Night — Journey 
Minus  Clothes — Ferryman's  Surprise — Lady  Queens- 
berry— England  Going  to  the  Dogs — Some  Capable 
Women — The  First  Duke  of  Westminster — Some  of  his 
Race-horses — A  Tragedy — And  a  Rumpus — Lord 
Bampton  to  the  Rescue — Some  of  the  Duke's  Economies 
— "Ormonde"  at  a  Garden  Party. 

PERHAPS  the  pluckiest  man  I  ever  met  was 
the  late  Lord  Queensberry,  the  eighth  Mar- 
quess. A  wonderful  sportsman,  nothing 
came  amiss  to  him;  he  did  not  know  the  meaning 
of  the  word  fear  and  would  tackle  people  stones 
heavier  than  himself. 

At  one  time  in  his  life  he  was  utterly  infatuated 
with  a  beautiful  actress,  who  was  married  to  a  huge 
bully;  his  attentions  and  admirations  led  to  a  dif- 
ference of  opinion  between  the  men.  The  bully 
not  having  the  courage  to  tackle  the  smaller  but 
more  courageous  man,  hired  a  professional  pugilist 
to  hammer  him.  So  one  day  when  Lord  Queens- 
berry happened  to  be  out  for  exercise  in  Maida  Vale 

245 


246         FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

he  found  himself  in  a  cul-de-sac,  when  up  came  the 
pugilist  saying,  ''My  lord,  I've  got  to  give  you  a 
hiding."  "Right,"  said  Lord  Queensberry.  In  a 
few  seconds  a  ring  was  formed,  but  no  policeman. 
Inside  three  rounds  Lord  Queensberry  had  his  op- 
ponent out. 

Apparently  the  man  bore  no  ill-will,  for  when 
occasionally  he  met  his  conqueror  in  Piccadilly,  he 
always  gave  a  somewhat  exaggerated  salute,  saying 
"Good-day,  my  lord!" 

I  saw  a  good  deal  of  Lord  Queensberry's  first 
wife,  who  divorced  him;  she  used  to  come  and  sit 
with  me  and  talk  about  her  sorrows  and  many  dis- 
appointments. 

Sir  Claude  de  Crespigny,  who  admires  pluck  in 
anyone,  be  they  man,  woman,  or  child,  told  me  not 
long  ago  that  "Old  Q.  was  the  bravest  man  of  my 
acquaintance;  he  laughed  at  odds." 

Admiral  Grenfell,  who  was,  I  believe,  the  strong- 
est man  and  hardest-hitter  in  the  Navy  of  his  days, 
was  once  asked  if  he  had  ever  boxed  with  Lord 
Queensberry,  who  was  considered  a  good  man  at 
the  game.  "Certainly  I  have."  "Could  you  beat 
him?"  "Beat  him!  I  should  have  to  kill  him 
first."  The  Admiral  was  at  least  two  stone  heavier 
than  Lord  Queensberry. 

One  of  the  reasons  why  the  latter  so  often  came 
out  on  top  was  owing  to  his  fitness ;  he  was  always 
in  hard  training,  and  it  was  noticeable  the  way  those 
he  conquered  became  great  friends  and  admirers. 

Once  at  Warwick  when  Lord  Queensberry  who 


The  Eighth  Marquess  of  Queensberry 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS         247 

had  finished  second  in  a  steeplechase  (he  subse- 
quently disqualified  the  horse  that  finished  first) 
was  on  his  way  with  saddle  and  weight-cloth  to 
weigh  in,  a  huge  man  in  the  ring  called  out,  "Well 
pulled,  my  lord."  Down  went  the  saddle  and  bang 
went  the  fists  between  the  bookie's  eyes.  He  was 
removed  by  the  police,  yet  Lord  Queensberry  had 
made  a  friend  for  life. 

What  made  the  incident  the  more  remarkable 
was  that  the  man  was  about  the  best  pugilist  in 
England,  and  in  training  to  fight  the  following 
week.  His  admiration  for  a  man  of  Lord  Queens- 
berry's  weight  and  inches  tackling  him  knew  no 
bounds,  and  the  following  day  when  his  assailant 
took  a  bad  toss  on  the  far  side  of  the  course  at 
Lichfield,  he  left  his  stand  and  ran  across  to  where 
Lord  Queensberry  was  lying,  picked  him  up,  put 
him  into  a  fly  and  packed  him  off  to  the  town. 

The  following  day  to  continue  his  attentions  the 
bookie  sent  a  present  of  some  famous  bone  oil,  in 
hopes  of  accelerating  the  recovery  of  the  game  and 
sporting  lord. 

A  wonderful  sportsman  he  was  too.  During  the 
five  seasons  that  he  hunted  hounds  he  never  missed 
a  single  day,  though  at  one  time  he  had  strained  a 
muscle  in  his  thigh  so  badly  that  he  found  it  im- 
possible to  ride  astride ;  nothing  daunted  he  rode  in 
a  side-saddle! 

He  was  a  lover  of  animals,  horses  especially,  and 
was  kind  to  them,  but  they  had  to  do  some  work. 
Once  after  hunting  with  Lord  Wemyss  close  to  the. 


248         FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

North  Sea,  he  rode  the  horses  he  had  hunted  thirty- 
five  miles  towards  home,  then  hired  hacks  from  the 
Duke  of  Buccleuch's  tenants  and  rode  right  across 
the  Cheviots  to  Kinmount,  where  they  had  to  cut 
off  his  boots  and  breeches,  but  he  was  out  with  his 
hounds  next  day.  I  think  the  first  pack  he  hunted 
was  the  Worcestershire  from  1870  to  1871.  He  was 
not  altogether  popular  from  all  I  can  gather,  but  it 
was  before  my  hunting  days. 

He  was  not  a  first-rate  man  on  a  horse  and,  as 
far  as  racing  was  concerned,  never  did  anything 
wonderful.  In  fact  his  ambition  as  a  rider  was 
greater  than  his  ability.  He  had  become  known  as 
a  gentleman-rider,  and  had  registered  the  crimson 
and  black  cap  as  his  colours  in  the  Calendar,  but 
latterly  his  riding  was  chiefly  confined  to  the  meet- 
ings round  London. 

His  name  has  been  more  closely  associated  with 
boxing  than  racing,  and  he  was  considered  a  good 
light-weight  boxer.  Who  is  there  who  has  not 
heard  of  the  Oueensberry  Rules  in  connection  with 
boxing,  yet  he  did  not  draw  them  up;  they  were 
drafted  by  a  Mr.  J.  G.  Chambers,  who,  I  believe, 
owned  Land  and  Water  in  its  sporting  days.  He 
also  rowed  twice  for  Cambridge  in  the  University 
Boat  Race,  but  be  that  as  it  may  he  it  was  who  drew 
up  the  rules  and  submitted  them  to  Lord  Queens- 
berry. 

In  1910  an  exhaustive  treatise  was  written  on  the 
Queensberry  Rules  of  boxing  by  Mr.  Frank  Brad- 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS         249 

ley,  the  best  ever  written  both  for  amateur  or  pro- 
fessional. 

In  the  early  days  of  boxing,  when  it  was  for- 
bidden that  railways  should  carry  passengers  to 
see  prize-fights,  no  gloves  were  worn,  but  even  after 
prize-fights  became  the  fashion,  the  orders  for  the 
railways  still  held  good  for  a  time.  The  "Queens- 
berry  Rules"  were  originally  drawn  up  for  some 
amateur  challenge  cup  Lord  Queensberry  instituted 
to  be  won  three  years  in  succession,  and  these  cups 
were  what  gave  rise  to  the  ever  after  popular 
Queensberry  Rules,  eleven  in  all. 

Lord  Queensberry  and  that  great  athlete  Fred 
Cotton,  who  Sir  Malcom  Fox  inspector  of  gymnasia 
described  as  the  most  perfect  specimen  of  an  ath- 
lete that  he  had  ever  seen,  decided  to  run  a  four- 
mile  steeplechase  over  the  Bogside  course.  The  race 
looked  so  close  towards  the  finish  that  Lord  Eglin- 
ton  and  his  brother  held  a  driving  whip  by  way  of 
a  tape.  Lord  Queensberry  fell,  completely  ex- 
hausted a  couple  of  paces  short  of  the  winning- 
post  and  Fred  Cotton  fell  the  same  distance  beyond 
it;  the  former  characteristically  said,  "Never  mind, 
I  came  to  before  old  Fred!" 

Considering  that  neither  of  these  sportsmen  had 
been  in  any  special  training  beyond  a  round  of 
balls  in  the  neighbourhood,  it  was  a  severe  contest. 

Lord  Queensberry  might  always  be  relied  upon 
to  do  original  things. 

Once  when  hunting  the  Croome  hounds  they 
made  a  line  over  the  Severn,  Lord  Queensberry  and 


250         FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

Fred  Cotton  alone  followed.  The  war  made  the 
breeches  of  the  former  so  slippery  that  he  said  he 
fell  off  at  every  fence  until  he  killed  his  fox;  adding, 
however,  "The  swim  cured  me  of  a  bad  cold." 

On  another  occasion  after  dining  with  Lord 
Coventry,  'Old  Q.'  to  save  his  horses  three  or  four 
miles,  drove  a  short  cut  to  a  ferry.  Finding  the 
boat  was  at  the  far  side,  and  the  ferryman  evident- 
ly tucked  up  safely  at  home  in  bed,  he  undressed 
in  his  phaeton,  swam  the  river,  and  walked  half  a 
mile  up  the  street  to  the  Ferryman's  house.  It  took 
a  little  while  to  waken  the  good  man,  who  was  en- 
joying his  first  beauty  sleep. 

Having  at  length  succeeded  in  attracting  his  at- 
tention, it  became  necessary  to  convince  the  man 
if  possible,  that  he.  Lord  Queensberry,  was  not  a 
raving  lunatic.  Eventually  succeeding,  the  river 
was  recrossed  in  the  ferry-boat.  The  dumbfounded 
ferryman  watched  his  late  companion  re-dress  in 
the  phaeton  and  all  once  more  started  across  the 
river ;  after  which  the  drive  home  was  accomplished, 
not,  I  am  sure,  without  a  thoughtful  remembrance 
to  the  ferryman.  At  all  times  Lord  Queensberry 
was  liberal  and  generous.  He  was  an  amiable  man 
and  loved  a  fair  fight. 

Fred  Cotton  was  also  a  man  of  many  parts.  I 
have  a  hunting-song  he  wrote  once  and  sent  to  me 
with  kindly  messages  from  the  composer;  which 
reminds  me  I  have  not  seen  it  lately;  I  must  look 
it  up. 

Lord  Queensberry  was  on  board  a  steamer  once 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS         251 

at  Rio  Janeiro  en  route  for  Montevideo  when  a 
huge  Yankee  came  on  board,  and  during  the  voyage 
made  a  nuisance  of  himself.  The  way  it  was  de- 
scribed to  me  was,  ''He  was  always  more  or  less 
in  liquor  and  gratuitously  insulted  everybody." 

At  one  halting-place,  I  forget  which,  Harry 
Grenfell,  subsequently  an  Admiral,  came  on  board 
to  give  some  instructions  regarding  a  number  of 
birds  he  was  shipping.  Shortly  before  this  moment 
he  had  been  refused  a  championship  heavy-weight 
boxing  cup  because  he  slogged  so  hard  and  did  not 
box. 

While  in  a  stooping  position  (which  doubtless 
looked  very  tempting)  examining  the  lashings  with 
his  head  close  to  the  birds'  spurs  which  if  they  were 
frightened  and  kicked  out  might  have  found  the 
embryo  Admiral's  brain-pan,  he  remarked  to  a  sea- 
man that  he  must  be  very  careful  of  his  ostriches. 
Suddenly  a  heavy  hand  dealt  him  a  resounding 

smack,  at  the  same  time  saying  ''You  liar! 

they're  not  ostriches,  they're  emus." 

Then  the  fun  began,  and  to  everybody's  delight 
the  bully  was  soon  lying  senseless  in  the  scupper. 
Lord  Queensberry,  always  alert,  immediately  had 
him  carried  sideways  over  the  gangway  and  took 
him  ashore  in  a  boat  with  his  head  hanging  over 
the  gunwale,  thinking  a  little  rest  on  shore  again 
would  be  good  for  him ! 

When  first  I  can  remember  Lord  Queensberry 
was  soon  after  I  married;  he  was  then  about  thirty- 
five  or  six,  clean-shaven  except  for  the  little  fuzzy 


252  FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

side-whiskers  then  considered  chic.  When  wearing 
a  tall  hat  his  black  wiry  hair  stood  out  under  it  like 
a  frill,  especially  as  his  hats  were  invariably  a  size  or 
so  too  small  for  his  head,  and  he  indulged  in  very 
curly  brims.  He  was  a  small  man,  smart  in  his  own 
way,  but  with  curious  theories  on  dress,  women 
and  a  variety  of  other  things.  I  wondered  at  any- 
body with  such  a  pronounced  nose  daring  to  box. 

He  was  a  good  friend  and  kindly  to  all.  He  used 
to  be  laughed  at  a  good  deal,  and  very  many  were 
the  weird  stories  in  circulation  about  him.  He  died 
January  31st,  1900,  the  same  year  as  his  great 
enemy,  the  man  he  disliked  most  in  all  the  world, 
Oscar  Wilde. 

I  once  heard  a  woman  say  that  Lord  Queensberry 
was  an  atheist.  I  was  pleased  to  be  able  to  say 
that  if  he  was  he  went  to  church  all  the  same,  as 
I  knew  when  he  was  hunting  the  Worcestershire 
hounds  he  regularly  attended  the  services  in  the 
cathedral,  sitting  behind  the  choir  in  the  prebendary 
stalls. 

After  thinking  over  all  I  knew  of  him  and  his 
life  not  many  years  before  he  died,  I  came  to  the 
conclusion  that  he  had  become  his  own  father  too 
soon.  A  little  more  discipline  in  early  years  was  all 
that  was  wanting.  He  had  been  at  Eton  and  six 
years  at  sea,  but  he  became  his  own  master  at  the 
age  of  fourteen.  He  was  a  descendant  of  the  grand 
old  stock  of  Douglas  famed  in  song.  There  has  been 
a  good  deal  of  money  amongst  them,  not  always 
spent  wisely. 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS         253 

A  whole  crowd  of  great  sportsmen  were  on  the 
stage,  so  to  speak,  doing  brave  and  daring  deeds 
when  first  I  left  the  schoolroom,  and  having  a  great 
love  for  horses,  dogs  and  all  the  great  works  of  the 
outside  world,  I  found  a  heap  of  people  to  interest 
and  teach  me.  A  few  of  the  many  kind  friends 
with  which  I  have  been  blessed  all  my  life,  caring 
as  I  do  for  the  natural  v/orld  described  by  Goethe 
as  holding  the  "Open  Secret"  for  all  to  see  who  feel 
so  inclined,  but  which  so  few  care  to  study.  God's 
work  is  so  infinitely  more  wonderful  than  that  of 
man. 

It  has  become  the  fashion  to  say  England  is  not 
the  country  she  was,  that  we  are  all  going  "to  the 
dogs"  and  degenerating,  but  I  do  not  agree  with 
this  theory.  It  seems  to  me  England  is  a  much 
better  country  to  live  in  now  than  she  was  even  in 
my  early  days,  to  say  nothing  of  one  hundred  years 
ago.  It  is  no  longer  the  fashion  for  men  to  get 
drunk  and  boast  of  it,  as  if  it  was  a  clever  achieve- 
ment, neither  are  they  so  frivolous  as  they  were. 
When  airing  this  view  to  a  friend  a  while  ago  he 
said,  "Don't  you  believe  it,  dear  lady,  everything 
goes  on  just  as  it  always  has  done,  only  we  don't 
hear  so  much  about  it." 

I  suggested  that  even  under  those  circumstances 
we  are  moving  up  the  scale.  It  is  a  step  in  the  right 
direction  if  we  do  not  proclaim  our  misdeeds  and 
mistakes  from  the  house-tops,  calling  all  to  come 
and  admire  our  audacity.  It  is  something  to  have 
learnt  discretion. 


254         FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

One  of  the  most  remarkable  results  of  our  ad- 
vanced civilization  has  been  the  evolution  of  the 
bachelor  woman.  There  are  no  old  maids  now. 
The  last  thirty  or  forty  years  everything  has  moved 
so  rapidly  that  we  seem  to  have  skipped  a  genera- 
tion or  two  and  landed  on  our  feet  an  entirely  dif- 
ferent people. 

Women  now  have  other  things  to  think  of  be- 
sides love  and  marriage.  The  day  is  gone  when  the 
unwritten  law  of  our  lives  was  *'Thou  shalt  not 
think!"  We  do  think  now,  and  the  result  is,  we 
have  emerged  knowing  our  own  minds,  needs,  and 
our  own  hearts.  Self-reliant  we  refuse  any  longer 
to  lead  the  artificial  life  that  thirty  years  ago  was 
considered  ''good  form." 

There  is  an  old  song  that  tells  us, 

"There  are  still  some  few  remaining 
Who  remind  us  of  the  past." 

I  know  one.  She  is  a  relation,  and  when  a  great 
friend  of  mine,  a  bonny  girl,  was  going  out  to  Rus- 
sia to  nurse  the  wounded,  she  held  up  her  hands  in 
horror,  saying: 

"Oh,  but  how  dreadful  for  her.  A  nice  young 
girl  like  that.  She  may  have  to  wear  pyjamas  and 
all  sorts  of  terrible  things  like  that." 

We  are  all  busy  people  now,  and  have  no  time 
to  scream  or  faint  if  we  have  to  wear  pyjamas, 
indeed  we  think  them  much  the  most  modest  and 
suitable  things  to  wear  when  travelling.  Neither 
do  we  now  sit  down  and  lapse  into  premature  old 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS         255 

age  and  bitter  thoughts  for  want  of  something  bet- 
ter to  do,  and  then  resent  the  somewhat  logical 
conclusions  of  our  artificial  education  and  lives. 

We  do  not  grow  old  now  as  we  used  to  do,  for  the 
face  does  not  betray  the  years  until  the  mind  has 
given  its  consent. 

Women  are  ceasing  to  be  parasites,  house-keepers 
and  useful  commodities.  They  have  learned  to  for- 
get their  sex  and  mix  amongst  the  workers  and 
thinkers  of  the  world  in  equality,  and  are  doing  very 
real  work  in  a  number  of  branches  of  usefulness  at 
one  time  closed  doors  to  them.  Among  other  things 
they  are  now  capable  private  secretaries  to  busy 
men. 

Not  long  ago  I  was  talking  to  one  of  the  leading 
business  men  of  the  day  about  something  he  wanted 
my  advice  on  in  connection  with  sporting  garments, 
etc.,  and  I  could  hardly  attend  to  the  matter  in 
hand,  being  so  taken  up  with  the  competency  of  his 
secretary.  She  stood  by  his  side,  and  in  a  calm 
methodical  manner  handed  him  all  he  wanted  as 
the  occasion  required,  without  having  to  be  asked 
for  anything.  One  time  it  would  be  a  book,  at  an- 
other some  notes,  patterns,  or  brochures,  then  re- 
minding her  chief  of  his  next  appointment,  follow- 
ing him  wherever  he  went  making  notes  of  every- 
thing to  remind  him  later. 

She  ran  through  a  short  resume  of  the  points  to 
be  remembered  before  each  interview,  drove  people 
away  when  they  had  been  long  enough,  keeping 
everything  up   to   time,    no   hurry   and   no    fuss. 


256         FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

During'  an  interval  when  she  had  been  sent  on  a 
message,  I  remarked  on  his  secretary's  efficiency, 
and  he  said  he  had  been  able  to  get  through  twice 
the  amount  of  work  since  he  had  secured  her  serv- 
ices. The  girl  was  quite  nice-looking,  no  giggling, 
smiling  or  by-play,  entirely  composed,  collected, 
and  very  quiet.    I  felt  quite  proud  of  my  sex. 

Girls  are  free  to-day  to  move  about  the  world 
as  they  like;  the  consequence  is  that  they  are  nat- 
ural, not  always  posing  and  pretending.  They  can 
meet  men  and  be  friendly  and  enjoy  their  society  in 
a  way  that  was  impossible  even  a  few  years  ago. 

The  most  delightful  relationship  in  the  world  is 
the  platonic,  between  man  and  woman  as  long  as  it 
lasts.  Everyone  should  have  a  really  great  platonic 
affection  for  one  of  the  opposite  sex,  it  gives  zest, 
and  keeps  up  self-respect.  It  is  a  charming  rela- 
tionship, no  pretence  or  humbug,  neither  have  any 
claim  on  the  other,  it  can  come  to  an  end  at  any 
moment,  only  one  thing  is  necessary,  mutual  tastes. 
Under  these  conditions  people  can  be  sane,  which  is 
more  than  anybody  can  be  when  in  love.  Another 
great  advantage,  there  is  none  of  that  intimacy  so 
death-dealing  to  all  our  finer  feelings. 

Platonic  affection  is  simply  confidential,  kindly 
companionship,  nothing  expected  but  comprehensive 
and  loving  kindness. 

This  relationship  is  going  to  be  the  order  of  the 
day.  It  depends  on  a  woman's  tact  and  cleverness 
whether  she  can  keep  the  relationship  on  a  working 
footing.     She  must  bear  In  mind  that  all  interest 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS         257 

ceases  when  the  object  of  a  man's  Hking  becomes 
famiHar  and  the  problematic  and  elusive  elements 
have  disappeared. 

Certainly  some  of  nature's  laws  are  open  to 
criticism.  Life  is  made  up  of  so  many  things,  too 
much  of  one,  too  little  of  another,  stitches  dropped, 
edges  frayed,  all  incomplete,  but  we  are  getting 
nearer  the  solution  of  some  of  the  big  problems. 

Amongst  the  noted  sportsmen  of  whom  I  was 
writing  before  I  ran  away  on  the  present-day  eman- 
cipation of  women,  I  should  have  mentioned  the 
Duke  of  Westminster,  I  mean  the  first  Duke  who 
owned  so  many  celebrated  horses,  the  most  noted 
that  recur  to  my  memory  at  the  moment  being 
"Doncaster,"  "Bend'Or,"  "Ormonde,"  "Orme"  and 
''Flying  Fox." 

''Doncaster"  was  a  lucky  deal  for  the  Duke;  He 
bought  him  from  Mr.  Peck,  his  trainer,  for  f  10,000, 
why  this  low  price  I  do  not  know,  as  Mr.  Peck  had 
bought  him  from  Mr.  Merry,  the  Iron  Master,  for 
£14,000. 

*'Doncaster"  was  the  head  of  a  wonderful  fam- 
ily, *'Bend'Or"  was  his  son,  ''Ormonde"  the  son  of 
"Bend'Or,"  "Orme"  the  son  of  "Ormonde"  "Flying 
Fox"  the  son  of  "Orme." 

The  Duke  had  a  special  palatial  home  built  for 
"Doncaster"  at  Eaton,  each  of  the  above  horses 
occupying  it  in  turn,  except  "Flying  Fox";  I  think 
the  Duke  died  before  seeing  him  in  it. 

"Ormonde"  was  the  Duke's  favourite;  many  peo- 
ple thought  he  would  ride  the  gentle  beast  in  the 


258         FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

Queen's  Jubilee  procession,  but  he  never  for  a  mo- 
ment contemplated  anything  of  the  kind.  The 
horse  was  not,  however,  left  out  in  the  cold  during 
the  festivities,  the  Duke  having  a  box  specially- 
erected  for  him  in  the  grounds  in  Upper  Grosvenor 
Street  and  the  horse  was  installed  there  during  his 
great  Jubilee  garden  party.  Many  horses  would 
have  had  their  heads  turned  with  the  amount  of 
adulation  he  had  bestowed  upon  him  by  guests. 
Never  before  did  he  receive  so  much  patting  and 
caressing,  but  he  appeared  in  no  way  perturbed; 
even  condescended  to  eat  a  scarlet  geranium  pre- 
sented to  him  by  an  Indian  Chief,  who  had  gathered 
it  from  a  flower-pot  standing  near. 

The  Duke  liked  rearing  his  own  horses  and 
watching  their  triumphs.  He  rode  "Ormonde" 
once  round  the  paddock  at  Kingsclere,  just  to  say 
he  had  been  on  the  great  horse. 

There  were  various  tragedies  connected  with  the 
Duke's  racing,  the  greatest  being  the  poisoning  of 
poor  Orme,  who  was  intended  to  do  such  wonders. 
It  was  a  great  scandal  and  nobody  was  supposed  to 
know  who  did  the  deed,  but  I  have  always  thought 
the  Duke  had  a  fairly  clear  idea  who  the  culprit 
was;  and  unless  I  am  very  much  mistaken  I  know 
too. 

The  Duke  was  absolutely  straight  in  all  his  rac- 
ing matters.  I  never  heard  a  breath  against  him, 
even  when  the  fuss  occurred  over  the  1880  Derby 
when  "Bend'Or"  won,  and  the  owner  of  the  second 
horse,  "Robert  the  Devil,"  lodged  an  objection  with 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS         259 

the  Stewards  of  Epsom  Races  and  claimed  the 
Derby  Stakes.  The  owner  of  ''Robert  the  Devil" 
was  Mr.  Charles  Brewer,  bookmaker  and  commis- 
sioner. He  maintained  "Bend'Or"  was  not  "Bend'- 
Or"  at  all,  but  a  colt  named  "Tadcaster"  by  "Don- 
caster."  Such  evidence  as  they  had  rested  on  the 
testimony  of  a  stud-groom,  who  had  been  dis- 
charged from  the  Eaton  stud,  and  two  other  em- 
ployes. 

They  declared  the  two  colts  had  got  mixed  up  in 
the  course  of  their  transference  from  Eaton  to 
Newmarket,  or  some  such  thing.  As  a  matter  of 
fact  they  had  got  their  birth-marks  entered  up 
wrongly.  Both  horses  were  chestnut,  and  when 
"Tadcaster"  was  foaled  he  had  a  dark  patch  on  one 
quarter,  and  it  was  over  this  marking  the  discussion 
arose. 

The  mistake  Mr.  Brewer  made  was  in  going  down 
to  Eaton  and  persuading  the  groom  to  show  him 
the  stud-book,  for  the  Duke  would  have  raised  no 
objection  to  showing  it  to  anybody.  Then  followed 
an  awkwardness,  the  stud-book  got  lost !  but  turned 
up  eventually  again,  and  though  the  case  never 
went  into  the  law-courts  it  was  thoroughly  handled 
by  Mr.  James,  Mr.  Craven  and  Sir  George  Chet- 
wynd,  who,  with  the  help  of  Lord  Bampton,  who 
examined  the  stud-book  and  gave  it  as  his  opinion 
it  showed  so  many  errors  that  it  could  not  be  re- 
lied upon  in  any  way,  and  that  in  his  opinion  "Bend'- 
Or"  should  remain  the  winner,  this  was  the  final 
finding  of  the  Stewards. 


26o         FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

In  a  quiet  sort  of  way  Lord  Bampton  was  for 
years  legal  adviser  to  the  Jockey  Club.  It  was  the 
popular  impression  at  one  time  that  he  was  a  severe 
judge.  He  may  have  been,  but  he  was  a  very  pleas- 
ant companion,  full  of  wit  and  humour.  I  must 
refer  to  him  again  later. 

I  know  that  some  years  after  the  rumpus  over 
"Bend'Or's"  Derby,  Mr.  James  Lowther  said  that 
additional  facts  which  had  subsequently  come  to  his 
knowledge  disposed  him  to  think  that  the  Stewards 
had  come  to  a  wrong  decision,  but  it  was  of  course 
too  late  to  reopen  the  question. 

However,  Mr.  Brewer  had  his  revenge,  for  in  the 
following  September  "Robert  the  Devil"  beat 
"Bend'Or"  in  the  St.  Leger  at  Doncaster. 

The  Duke  was  a  good  deal  upset  over  the  Derby 
occurrence  and,  shortly  after,  sent  twenty-three  of 
his  horses  to  Tattersalls,  "Tadcaster"  amongst 
them  fetching  only  i6o  guineas. 

While  being  a  just  and  kind  master  the  Duke  did 
not  throw  his  money  about.  Like  others  I  have  met 
he  lived  in  the  greatest  luxury,  spending  huge  sums 
on  horses,  racing,  etc.,  but  was  most  careful  and 
economical  in  small  matters  and  I  seemed  fated  to 
catch  him  in  the  act  of  some  of  his  little  economies 
he  did  not  care  for  the  world  to  know. 

Once  when  I  was  taking  a  short  cut  through  Sea- 
more  Place  from  Park  Lane  to  Grosvenor  Square 
I  met  Lady  Chesham  in  South  Audley  Street.  It 
will  be  remembered  she  was  a  daughter  of  the  Duke 
by  his  first  wife.    Suddenly  from  round  the  corner 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS         261 

came  the  Duke  with  a  brown  paper  parcel  under  his 
arm,  which  he  at  once  tried  to  suppress.  Naturally 
neither  his  daughter  nor  I  made  any  remark  about 
the  parcel,  but  he  was  obviously  uncomfortable  and 
quickly  left  us.  He  continued  his  errand  and  we 
both  laughed,  for  we  knew  quite  well  he  was  off  to 
a  little  cobbler  in  Shepherd's  Market  to  have  his 
boots  mended;  he  thought  nobody  knew  anything 
about  it,  as  very  few  did. 

I  first  made  the  discovery  when  one  day  I  had 
been  asked  to  go  and  see  the  old  cobbler  who  was 
ill.  He  lived  in  a  squalid  little  building,  renting  one 
room  with  a  window  looking  on  to  the  pavement, 
close  to  which  he  worked,  and  it  was  always  open. 
He  interviewed  his  customers  through  it.  As  I  was 
coming  out  through  a  narrow  passage,  which  was 
the  exit,  I  came  upon  the  Duke  at  the  window  claim- 
ing his  mended  shoes  and  paying  the  pence  de- 
manded. I  hastily  turned  my  admiring  gaze  on  the 
neighbouring  telephone  and  telegraph  wires  at- 
tached to  adjacent  chimneys,  as  I  knew  it  would  be 
very  gauche  to  see  what  was  happening,  but  the 
Duke  was  upset  and  galloped  away  without  wait- 
ing to  have  his  footgear  done  up  in  paper  properly. 
As  he  was  hurrying  along  out  fell  one  mended  shoe 
with  a  plop  upon  the  pavement.  He  picked  it  up 
looking  furtively  behind  him,  but  had  not  gone  more 
than  a  couple  of  yards  further  before  the  paper  car- 
ried away  entirely.  I  could  not  well  efface  myself 
entirely  as  the  paper  had  done,  so  went  to  the  rescue 
and  poked  one  shoe  in  one  pocket  and  one  in  another 


262         FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

as  best  we  could.  Entering  into  the  game  I  offered 
to  take  them  home  with  me,  have  them  done  up  in  a 
most  scientific  manner  and  sent  home  by  one  of  my 
household ;  but  no !  he  would  not  trust  the  shoes  out 
of  his  sight  and  carried  them  off  himself.  He  was 
a  lean  man  and  looked  quite  funny  with  bulging 
pockets. 

Lady  Chesham  often  asked  me  to  help  her  about 
her  headgear;  it  was  difficult  to  make  her  look 
smart  for  big  occasions  for  she  wore  her  hair  cut 
short  like  a  man's.  This  is  comfortable  and  grand 
for  hunting  or  any  form  of  sport,  but  does  not  look 
well  at  Buckingham  Palace  garden  parties  and  such- 
like entertainments.  It  always  gives  one  rather  the 
look  of  a  horse  laying  his  ears  back. 

Another  daughter  of  the  Duke's  was  the  Mar- 
chioness of  Ormonde,  and  when  his  horse  "Or- 
monde" won  the  Derby,  Archer  had  attached  to  his 
yellow  satin  jacket  a  prettily  worked  little  medallion 
said  to  have  been  worked  by  her. 


CHAPTER  XIV 

The  Late  Earl  of  Guildford — Has  a  Difference  with  Civic 
Officials — Curious  Racing  Arrangements — A  Scared 
Showman — Twelfth  Earl  of  Winchelsea  Makes  Friends 
with  Moses — Lord  Bulwer  Lytton — His  Appearance — 
Work — And  Treatment  of  his  Wife — A  Story  of  his 
Son — The  Rev.  E.  Burnaby  and  the  late  Marquess  of 
Exeter— A  Primrose  Ball— "The  Ruffian"— Mr.  Burn- 
aby Falls  Out  with  Lord  Kinnard — What  they  said — 
A  Little  Faux-pas  in  "The  House" — Arthur  Orton's 
Tichborne  Signature — His  Promises — Gives  Himself 
Away — Mr.  Hawkins  Changes  his  Mind — Lord  Bamp- 
ton  in  Court  and  on  the  Race-course — Lady  Harbor- 
ough's  Complacency — Mr.  Burnaby  at  Longleat — Prays 
for  Departed  King — Guinea-pig  Jack — An  Exciting 
Drive — Lord  Beaconsfield — In  his  Bath — His  Wife's 
Advice — His  Last  Moments — His  Rudeness — Mr.  Con- 
ingsby  Disraeli. 

IT  is  rather  depressing  to  reflect  on  the  number 
of  kind  and  hospitable  people  who  have  suffered 
financial   distress,   or   at   any   rate  lost  more 
money  than  was  convenient  over  racing  combined 
with  all  its  associations. 

The  late  Lord  Guildford  for  one,  the  seventh  earl, 
who  died  in  December,  1885,  the  result  of  a  hunt- 
ing accident,  his  horse  catching  his  feet  in  a  binder 
of  a  newly  laid  hedge,  either  in  Somersetshire  or 
Dorset,  I  forget  which. 

263 


264         FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

He  was  a  rather  headstrong,  determined  person 
with  a  quick  temper,  and  once  when  he  fell  out  with 
the  Dover  Racing  Authorities,  said  he  would  never 
have  anything  more  to  do  with  them,  and  started  a 
rival  meeting  of  his  own,  which  was  held  in  the 
park  at  Waldershall,  his  place  near  Dover. 

The  first  meeting,  to  judge  by  the  crowds  attend- 
ing it,  proved  an  enormous  success  from  a  sporting 
point  of  view,  but  financially  it  was  a  "big  drop." 
He  had  a  good  deal  of  worry  over  the  meeting  alto- 
gether, not  the  least  being  in  connection  with  the 
gipsies  and  caravaneers  he  had  allowed  into  the 
park  and  whom  he  told  he  would  never  have  on  the 
place  again.  The  expenses  in  connection  with  the 
making  of  the  course,  building  stands,  stables,  etc., 
had  been  heavy,  and  the  caravaneers  had  not  been 
respectful  of  the  outlay. 

The  following  year  Lord  Guildford  determined 
he  was  going  to  do  everything  on  his  own  lines,  and 
be  advised  by  nobody.  He  would  make  some  money 
and  have  no  nonsense. 

Train-loads  of  sporting  people  came  from  all 
parts,  promising  even  a  greater  crowd  than  the  pre- 
vious year,  and  amongst  them  a  load  or  two  of 
Welshers  and  other  undesirables  who  had  quite  a 
good  time. 

The  Mayor  of  Dover,  being  of  a  Christian  spirit 
and  wishing  to  bury  the  hatchet,  had  come  in  his 
robes  of  office  to  the  show;  he  was  relieved  of  his 
watch.    Sir  George  Chetwynd,  who  was  acting  as 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS         265 

judge,  lost  a  pocket-book  containing  interesting  and 
valuable  things  besides  money ! 

Sir  George's  sister  had  married  Lord  Guildford, 
and  this  meeting  was  to  be  quite  a  family  affair. 
The  butler  even  had  been  pressed  into  the  service, 
and  fastened  into  a  box  to  collect  the  gate  money. 

Feeling  much  impressed  at  the  numbers  in  the 
stands  and  overflowing  into  the  park  Lord  Guild- 
ford went  to  collect  some  of  the  enormous  sum  of 
money  that  must  have  been  taken  at  the  gate  and 
remove  it  to  a  place  of  safety. 

With  this  object  in  view  he  went  singing  and 
whistling  to  himself  en  route  to  the  gate  and  asked 
cheerily  for  the  money,  and  was  handed  £3  los. 
There  was  a  pause,  his  lordship  being  evidently  de- 
prived of  his  breath  for  a  time.  After  the  money 
had  been  turned  over  in  his  hand  a  few  times  as 
though  nothing  of  the  kind  had  ever  been  seen  by 
him  before,  breath  returned,  and  Lord  Guildford 
said,  "What  the — something — something  do  you 
mean?  Look  at  all  those  people,"  waving  his  hand 
in  the  direction  of  the  stands.  ''Oh!"  replied  the 
butler,  "those  are  all  the  Press,  you  said  I  was  to 
let  them  in  free." 

More  language  followed,  indicating  he  had  ar- 
rived at  the  conclusion  "races  run  in  the  'family 
way'  were  no  good,"  and  the  butler  was  a  blither- 
ing idiot  as  well  as  a  blood-shot  fool  or  something 
like  that. 

Strict  orders  were  issued  that  no  more  "press" 
people  were  to  be  allowed  through  the  gate. 


266         FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

A  number,  however,  I  happen  to  know,  found 
their  way  in  through  an  undefended  part  of  the 
park. 

Caravaneers  were  conspicuous  by  their  absence 
this  second  year,  and  some  one  enquired  why  they 
had  not  asked  permission  to  do  a  little  business. 
The  head  showman  replied,  "Ask  for  permission! 
No  fear,  his  lordship  had  said  the  year  before  that 

if  ever  they  came  again  he  would  turn  his dogs 

on  to  them,  and  passing  the  house  a  short  time  be- 
fore the  second  meeting  they  had  seen  that  his  lord- 
ship was  in  earnest  for  there  as  large  as  life  were 

two  b mastiffs  painted  up  on  a  board  hanging 

against  the  house  as  a  warning." 

This  is  what  the  scared  showman  saw: 


The  late  Lord  Winchester,  the  twelfth  earl,  was 
also  very  unfortunate  with  his  racing.  He  used  to 
live  at  Eastwell  Park,  now  belonging  to  the  Gerards, 
*'but  went  broke."  He  was  a  great  racing  man 
and  wit  in  the  days  of  Lord  George  Bentinck,  and 
married  a  relation  of  mine. 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS         267 

In  his  hard-up  days  he  was  glad  to  accept  the 
hospitality  of  many  people  he  had  not  known  before 
his  difficult  times.  Amongst  these  he  became  ac- 
quainted with  a  Mr.  Beddington,  a  Jew,  son  of 
Moses,  the  inexpensive  tailor  who  used  to  have  a 
shop  at  the  Oxford  Street  end  of  Museum  Street, 
with  a  revolving  window  to  show  his  goods  to  ad- 
vantage. Both  Moses  and  his  son  had  retired  from 
business  and  bought  a  property  called  the  Bedding- 
ton  Estate,  and  there  the  idea  had  occurred  to  papa 
Moses  that  he  might  do  well  to  change  his  name  to 
that  of  Beddington. 

Young  Beddington  bought  a  yacht  and  was 
anxious  to  make  friends  with  society.  He  therefore 
invited  Lord  Winchester  to  go  a  short  cruise  with 
him.  On  their  return  they  put  in  at  Ryde,  and  Lord 
Winchester,  out  of  compliment,  took  him  into  the 
Royal  Yacht  Club.  During  the  course  of  conversa- 
tion Lord  Winchester  said,  "By  the  way,  how  came 
you  to  adopt  the  name  of  Beddington?"  Receiving 
in  reply,  "Well,  you  see,  my  father  being  fond  of 
the  antique,  purchased  the  ancient  estate  and 
changed  his  name  at  the  same  time." 

Lord  Winchester  exclaimed,  "Great  heavens, 
man,  wasn't  Moses  ancient  enough  for  him !" 

It  is  well  perhaps  for  our  peace  of  mind  we  do  not 
see  ourselves  as  others  see  us,  yet  it  might  be  very 
wholesome.  So  many  of  the  men  who  threw  their 
money  away  on  racing  and  betting  thought  they 
were  being  very  fine  fellows  and  cutting  a  great 


268         FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

dash,  while  everybody  was  calling  them  fools  be- 
hind their  backs  and  laughing  at  them. 

How  good  it  would  have  been  for  Bulwer  Lytton 
to  have  seen  himself  as  others  saw  him.  He  was 
before  my  time,  but  I  have  heard  a  great  deal  of 
him  from  those  who  knew  him  and  his  wife  well, 
and  his  son  was  Viceroy  in  India  when  first  I  went 
out  there. 

Bulwer  Lytton  went  about  looking  much  like  a 
rag-and-bone  man,  his  hair  long  and  untidy,  his 
face  unshaven  and  dirty,  his  clothes  tattered;  it 
must  have  been  difficult  to  believe  he  was  the  author 
of  so  many  cJicfs-d'ocuvre  of  literature.  His  fea- 
tures, my  people  tell  me,  were  remarkably  fine,  and 
could  not  be  entirely  hidden  and  spoilt  by  his  untidy 
habits.  He  married  a  pretty  Irish  girl,  which  dis- 
pleased his  mother,  who  had  brought  the  property 
of  Knebworth  into  the  family,  and  she  cut  off  sup- 
plies. He  therefore  found  himself  with  about  a 
couple  of  hundred  a  year  and  unable  to  live  at  the 
rate  of  less  than  £3000.  I  have  been  told  this  as 
much  as  anything  turned  him  against  his  pretty 
and  witty  wife,  and  he  determined  to  get  rid  of  her, 
and  I  do  not  think  it  is  generally  known  in  what  a 
disgraceful  way  he  tried  to  do  this. 

They  had  talked  over  the  question  of  parting, 
and  his  wife  agreed.  He  thereupon  said,  if  she 
would  attend  at  a  certain  house  in  Brook  Street  on 
a  given  day  two  solicitors  would  be  there  to  discuss 
with  her  the  questions  of  separation  maintenance. 
On  arriving  in  Brook  Street  she  found  the  two 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS         269 

"solicitors"  were  medical  men  prepared  and  en- 
gaged to  certify  her  insane,  and  she  was  carried 
straight  off  to  an  asylum.  Fortunately  her  own 
doctor,  Roberts  by  name,  who  always  attended  her, 
got  wind  of  this  treatment,  and  immediately  went 
to  Lord  Lytton  and  informed  him  that  unless  he  at 
once  gave  immediate  orders  for  his  wife's  release, 
all  London  should  know  the  facts.  She  was  at  once 
released,  but  never  forgave  the  insult.  For  many 
years  she  used  to  hang  a  widow's  cap  over  her  bed 
and  called  it  her  "liberty  cap." 

I  think  if  Lord  Lytton  had  been  able  to  see  him- 
self as  others,  who  knew  of  his  disgraceful  conduct, 
saw  him,  he  would  have  felt  chastened.  The  fact 
of  his  mother  being  annoyed  over  the  marriage 
and  stopping  supplies,  however,  seems  to  have 
obliged  him  to  work,  and  it  is  astonishing  to  see  the 
list  of  books  he  wrote  during  this  time. 

When  he  died  at  Torquay,  in  1873,  I  ^^  told  he 
looked  so  splendid  in  his  coffin  with  clean  shaven 
face  his  son  hardly  recognised  him.  After  his  burial 
in  Westminster  Abbey,  the  late  Dean  of  West- 
minster preached  a  most  eulogistic  sermon  refer- 
ring to  the  dead.  Lady  Lytton,  remembering  his 
treatment  of  her  wrote  to  the  Dean,  presenting  her 
compliments,  saying,  "The  Devil  could  not  tell  the 
truth  when  he  was  dead." 

Whether  there  was  any  difference  between  her 
and  her  Viceroy  son  I  cannot  say,  but  she  refused 
to  accept  any  income  from  him. 

There  have  been  some  quaint  stories  told  of  her 


2/0         FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

son,  one  being  that  he  had  a  habit  of  kicking  under 
the  table  any  lady  he  took  into  dinner,  in  conse- 
quence of  which  hostesses  used  to  place  a  wooden 
box  in  a  handy  position  to  intercept  the  kicks.  I 
never  went  in  to  dinner  with  Lord  Lytton,  so  can- 
not speak  from  experience,  but  I  find  it  difficult  to 
believe,  for  though  undoubtedly  a  person  of  moods, 
he  was  the  soul  of  chivalry  and  courtesy. 

It  is  easy  to  acquire  bad  habits  without  being 
aware  of  them,  and  if  perchance  we  are  "stars," 
nobody  dare  tell  us  of  them. 

Bulwer  Lytton's  wife  was  sparkling  with  Irish 
humour,  always  ready  with  repartee.  Once  when 
she  was  growing  stout  and  panted  for  breath  when 
going  up  the  steps  to  the  opera  at  Covent  Garden, 
one  of  the  gilded  youths  present  said,  "You  want 
a  change  of  horses.  Lady  Lytton."  She  replied, 
*T  could  get  a  change  of  asses  on  the  spot." 

The  late  Marquess  of  Exeter  (the  fourth)  was 
rather  regardless  of  appearances,  but  he  was  wholly 
delightful  and  did  not  care  the  very  least  what  any- 
body said  or  thought  of  him.  He  confessed  that  he 
was  never  more  happy  than  when,  owing  to  reduced 
circumstances,  he  decided  to  rent  a  place  at  Shank- 
lin  in  the  Isle  of  Wight,  and  indulge  in  his  favourite 
hobby  of  sea-fishing.  He  walked  into  the  Castle 
and  County  Club  one  day  in  muffler,  sweater  and 
hob-nailed  boots  to  the  horror  of  the  secretary,  who 
did  not  know  who  he  was  and  protested  at  "such 
a  ruffian"  being  allowed  in  the  club.  He  must  have 
felt  uncomfortable  when  told  "the  Ruffian"  was 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS         271 

the  Commodore  of  the  Royal  Yacht  Club  at  Ryde. 

The  Rev.  E.  Burnaby,  brother  of  Fred  Burnaby, 
the  Ride  to  Khiva  man,  was  in  the  Isle  of  Wight 
at  the  same  time  as  the  Exeters,  and,  as  he  was 
trying  to  get  up  a  Primrose  ball,  asked  if  he  might 
add  the  names  of  the  Marquess  and  Marchioness  of 
Exeter  to  his  list  of  patrons  and  was  told,  "If  our 
poor  names  are  any  use  you  can  have  them,  but  we 
have  no  money." 

It  is  said  that  the  Primrose  League  was  founded 
in  remembrance  of  Lord  Beaconsfield's  partiality 
for  the  flower,  yet  as  a  matter  of  fact  he  cared 
nothing  for  it,  which  Lady  Dorothy  Neville,  at 
whose  house  the  inaugurating  meetings  were  held, 
was  obliged  to  confess  when  asked  on  her  word  of 
honour  if  she  had  ever  heard  Dizzy  express  his  re- 
gard for  the  primrose.  Mr.  Gladstone  remarked 
he  thought  the  gorgeous  lily  was  more  in  his  line 

The  way  primroses  became  connected  with  Lord 
Beaconsfield  was  through  Queen  Victoria,  who  had 
an  admiration  for  him,  sending  him  boxes  of  the 
little  flowers  gathered  from  the  slopes  of  Windsor 
Castle  or  from  Osborne,  I  forget  which.  Lord  John 
Manners,  who  succeeded  to  the  Dukedom  and  who 
was  a  member  of  Disraeli's  Cabinet  and  formerly 
one  of  the  young  England  party,  took  great  inter- 
est in  the  Primrose  League  movement.  Lord  John 
it  was  who  wrote  those  never-to-be-forgotten 
verses : 

"Let  arts  and  commerce,  laws  and  learning  die. 
But  leave  us  still  our  old  nobility." 


272         FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

When  the  present  duke's  uncle  was  owner  of 
Belvoir,  overlooking  the  Vale  of  Grantham,  dinner 
used  to  be  announced  by  the  private  band  playing 
"The  Roast  Beef  of  Old  England." 

A  friend  of  mine  was  being  taken  into  dinner 
there  one  night  by  a  member  of  the  French  nobility, 
who  asked  what  the  tune  was.  She  replied,  'The 
Roast  Frogs  of  Old  France,  out  of  compliment  to 
you."    He  bridled  with  joy. 

Mr.  Evelyn  Burnaby,  who  is  still  with  us,  has 
had  an  interesting  and  full  life,  beginning  with  law, 
continuing  in  the  Church  (owing  chiefly  to  there 
being  a  family  living  awaiting  a  Burnaby),  varied 
with  much  hunting  and  endless  social  engagements 
and  attached  friends.  He  is  clever,  as  all  the  Burn- 
abys  have  been,  and  is  a  kind  friend.  Like  his 
brother  Fred,  when  annoyed  he  can  hit  hard.  He 
fell  out  once  with  the  'Tious  Fraud,"  the  soubri- 
quet of  the  late  Lord  Kinnard.  This  was  how  it 
happened.  Both  were  of  one  party  looking  on  at 
a  Lord  Mayor's  show.  Mr.  Burnaby  had  just  come 
up  from  hunting  in  Leicestershire.  During  the  fit- 
ful conversation  indulged  in  on  such  occasions,  Mr. 
Burnaby  turned  to  Lord  Kinnard  and  asked  him  if 
he  thought  he  could  get  him  the  vacant  stall  at 
Westminster?  Lord  Kinnard  replied  it  would  not 
be  possible  as  he  heard  Mr.  Burnaby  had  been  seen 
at  Cremorne,  adding,  "You  had  better  stay  in  your 
horse-box,  to  which  you  are  more  suited." 

This  was  throwing  the  gauntlet  with  a  vengeance, 
and  quickly  picked  up  by  Mr.  Burnaby,  who  re- 


The  Rev.  Evelyn  Burnaby 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS         273 

plied,   not   much   to   the   point   stingingly,    "1   am 

not  surprised  you  take  such  an  interest  in  the 

Hospital,  considering  you  help  to  fill  it." 

Mr.  Burnaby  was  generally  to  be  seen  in  the  dis- 
tinguished strangers'  gallery  when  any  important 
debate  was  on.  He  was  a  friend  of  old  Denning, 
Chief  of  the  House  of  Commons  police,  also  of  Mr. 
Inglefield,  who  is  still,  I  believe,  chief  attendant  in 
the  Lobby. 

Denning  it  was  who,  as  Tipstaffs  in  the  old 
Queen's  Bench  Court  at  Westminster,  conveyed  the 
claimant  to  Newgate  after  he  had  been  sentenced 
to  fourteen  years'  penal  servitude  in  the  celebrated 
Tichborne  case. 

Once  when  leaving  the  strangers'  gallery,  Mr. 
Burnaby  accidentally  put  his  foot  into  the  hat  of 
another  visitor  and  was  walking  away  with  it  on 
his  toe  when  a  plaintive  voice  behind  him  said, 
''When  you  have  quite  done  spoiling  my  brand  new 
hat  will  you  please  return  it,  as  I  can't  afford  a  new 
one!"  Poor  Mr.  Burnaby  felt  crushed  when  he 
became  aware  of  his  carelessness. 

Apropos  the  Tichborne  trial,  it  is  illuminating 
to  see  what  can  be  done  in  the  way  of  fraud.  The 
letter  I  am  reproducing  from  the  original  written 
by  Arthur  Or  ton  is  an  excellent  copy  of  the  real 
Tichborne's  writing.  It  must  have  required  con- 
siderable practice  before  being  able  to  write  such 
a  letter.  I  never  saw  the  man,  but  my  father,  hav- 
ing been  a  barrister,  and  knowing  counsel  on  both 
sides,  took  great  interest  in  the  case,  and  he  said 


274         FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

months  must  have  been  taken  in  perfecting  the 
writing  over  which  experts  were  divided  in  their 
opinions. 

The  history  of  the  letter  was  a  dinner  the  Claim- 
ant gave  when  staying  at  the  Waterloo  Hotel,  and 
the  five  pounds  referred  to  was  sent  to  the  man 
who  provided  amusement  for  Sir  Roger's  guests. 

He  was  taught  to  shoot  pigeons  in  the  same  way 
he  was  taught  to  write,  and  he  lost  a  lot  of  money 
over  it  at  Hendon,  it  being  a  fashionable  amuse- 
ment at  the  time  and  a  good  way  of  advertising 
himself. 

The  Welsh  Harp  at  Hendon  was  a  sort  of  subur- 
ban home  for  the  Claimant.  He  spent  a  good  deal 
of  time  there,  promising  all  sorts  of  things  to  every- 
body when  he  came  into  the  estates.  One  of  his 
victims  was  the  proprietor  of  the  hotel,  whose 
brother  is  still  living  at  Kew,  and  he  often  laughs 
over  the  circumstances  nozv,  though  at  the  time  it 
was  very  serious  when  the  Claimant  went  to  prison, 
for  so  firmly  had  the  proprietor  believed  in  the  man 
that  he  had  built  a  new  part  to  the  hotel,  which 
was  christened  the  Tichborne  wing  and  was  to  be 
paid  for  by  Tichborne  money.  Warner  was  the 
name  of  the  hotel-proprietor,  and  he  firmly  believed 
in  the  man  until  about  the  end  of  the  civil  trial, 
when  he  received  a  shock  in  rather  a  curious  way. 

One  day  Warner  was  called  away  from  the  din- 
ner-table just  when  a  large  sirloin  of  beef  had  been 
put  on  it,  so  Sir  Roger  offered  to  carve  for  him 
during  his  absence.     Before  the  proprietor  could 


^'^tJt  -■ 


The  Claimant's  Letter,  Taken  I'roni  the  Original 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS         2^5 

get  out  of  the  room  Sir  Roger  was  sharpening  his 
knife  up  and  down  the  steel  in  such  a  workraanhke 
manner  that  it  gave  Warner  a  real  fright  and  he 
was  overheard  to  say  as  he  was  going  downstairs, 
*'By  God,  he  is  a  butcher."  Which  is  what  Sir 
Henry  Hawkins  so  ably  proved  him  to  be. 

His  trial  was  the  making  of  the  then  Mr.  Henry 
Hawkins,  later  Lord  Bampton.  It  may  be  remem- 
bered that  Dr.  Kenealy  defended  the  claimant,  his 
speech  lasting  from  December  2nd  to  January  14th, 
in  1874.  Henry  Hawkins'  reply  lasting  from 
January  15th  to  January  28th,  Chief  Justice  Cock- 
burn  summing  up  from  January  29th  to  February 
25th. 

I  should  think  this  must  have  been  one  of  the 
longest  trials  ever  heard  in  the  English  Courts. 
The  defending  family  won  of  course,  Orton  getting 
fourteen  years  with  hard  labour,  but  it  cost  the 
estate  £92,000. 

It  is  a  curious  fact  that  during  the  earlier  part  of 
the  hearing  of  the  case,  Mr.  Hawkins  firmly  be- 
lieved in  the  Claimant,  and  expressed  his  views 
amongst  some  of  his  sporting  friends,  in  conse- 
quence of  which  there  was  a  good  deal  of  betting 
on  the  Hawkins'  opinion.  Mr.  Lambert,  who  had 
owned  some  successful  horses,  put  some  £500  on  it, 
the  betting  then  being  about  even.  One  day,  how- 
ever, Mr.  Lambert  received  a  messenger  from  Mr. 
Hawkins,  who  had  been  told,  "Go  and  find  Mr. 
Lambert  and  tell  him  if  he  had  invested  any  money 
on  my  early  opinion  at  once  to  get  out  of  it,  as  I 


276         FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

shall  not  only  prove  him  an  arrant  fraud,  but  also 
that  he  is  none  other  than  Arthur  Orton!" 

The  advice  was  of  course  taken,  and  both  Mr. 
Lambert  and  another  friend  were  winners  over  the 
result. 

It  was  difficult  to  believe  that  Lord  Bampton  in 
the  courts  and  Lord  Bampton  in  the  street  or  on 
the  race-course  were  one  and  the  same  man.  In 
the  courts  presenting  a  dignified  appearance  in  wig 
and  gown,  his  clear  cut  features,  clean  shaven  face 
and  quick  eye,  which  seemed  to  collect  evidence  in 
a  glance.  On  the  heath  at  Newmarket,  in  a  curious 
yellow  tinted,  black  banded  top  hat,  dark  blue  pilot 
coat,  snuff  coloured  tight  fitting  horsy  pants  and  a 
rough  ash  plant  stick,  his  loosely  tied  neckerchief 
flying  out  on  either  side  of  his  face,  giving  the  idea 
more  of  a  horse-dealer  than  a  legal  luminary. 

Those  who  did  not  know  him  often  wondered 
who  on  earth  he  could  be,  as  he  was  to  be  seen  talk- 
ing with  all  the  celebrities,  trainers  and  book- 
makers. Once  when  he  was  standing  talking  to 
the  ever  popular  John  Corlett,  of  The  Sporting 
Times,  otherwise  known  as  the  "Pink'un,"  the 
following  conversation  was  overheard  by  a  friend, 
from  two  men  standing  by. 

A.  "I  say,  Bill,  who's  that  funny  looking  old 
man  over  there  talking  to  the  master  of  the 
Pink'unr 

B.  "Why,  you  ought  to  know,  that's  Hawkins, 
who  gave  you  your  'time'  when  you  were  up  at  the 
Old  Bailey." 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS         2^77 

A.  "S'truth,  so  it  is,  but  don't  he  look  different 
without  his  wig,  oh  my !" 

Lord  Bampton  used  to  bet  a  little,  but  never 
heavily.  At  one  time,  while  still  a  Q.C.,  he  was 
doing  a  little  quiet  betting  with  a  bookmaker  named 
Frank  Lees,  who  for  some  time  did  not  know  the 
name  of  his  client.  The  bookie  remarked  one  day, 
"Oh!  you  win  too  often,"  or  ''you  come  too  often 
for  your  money."  To  this  Mr.  Hawkins  replied, 
"Never  mind,  Lees,  if  ever  you  get  into  trouble, 
you  can  come  to  me  and  I  will  get  you  out  of  it." 

Lord  Bampton  was  rather  amusing,  and  once 
when  Fred  Archer  was  giving  evidence  in  the  wit- 
ness-box, he  with  a  very  grave  face  asked,  "And 
what  is  your  Christian  name?"  The  Court  could 
not  control  its  mirth.  The  judge  used  occasionally 
to  send  little  jokes  to  Mr.  Corlett  for  the  Pink'im, 
and  once  when  on  circuit  in  the  summer  at  Leicester 
something  occurred  which  he  thought  would  do 
nicely  for  the  paper.  Anything  from  Lord  Bampton 
was  accepted  without  enquiry  or  demur.  Unfortu- 
nately the  joke  was  omitted  or  lost  and  all  that  was 
received  by  the  Pink'un  was  a  note: 

"Dear  Corlett, 

"The  enclosed  occurred  here  in  court  yester- 
day.   I  thought  it  would  do  for  your  front  page. 

"Yours, 

"Henry  Hawkins.'' 
"P.S. — It's  very  warm  here.    If  it  is  hot  for  me 
what  must  it  be  for  the  prisoners." 


27^         FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

This  tickled  some  of  the  readers  nevertheless, 
as  the  judge  was  considered  to  be  severe. 

Lord  Bampton  was  a  great  friend  of  James  Low- 
ther,  and  gave  him  the  benefit  of  his  legal  know- 
ledge in  connection  with  racing  difficulties  and  the 
Jockey  Club. 

I  suppose  Sir  George  Lewis  was  the  most  famous 
lawyer  I  ever  met,  or  perhaps  I  should  say  the  most 
successful  I  ever  met,  for  he  was  not  really  a  great 
lawyer,  but  was  great  in  common  sense.  He  was 
the  man  of  whom  it  was  stated  that  "he  knew 
sufficient  of  every  family  to  hang  half  London." 
He  was  staying  at  Scarborough  once  during  one  of 
their  gay  weeks  when  there  happened  to  be  rather 
an  extra  number  of  grass-widows  disporting  them- 
selves. Sir  George  was  having  quite  a  good  time 
amongst  them,  and  at  a  ball  held  in  the  Grand  Hotel 
was  one  night  prancing  along  to  the  "Holly  Bush 
Polka"  with  a  young  lady  of  his  own  religious  per- 
suasion, when  some  kind  friend,  wishing  to  be 
funny,  said,  "You  will  have  them  all  as  clients.  Sir 
George."  It  had  a  very  sobering  eflFect  on  both  the 
widows  and  Sir  George. 

Well-bred  people  accept  their  husbands'  infideli- 
ties with  calm.  The  late  Lady  Harborough  was  a 
wonderful  example  of  this,  and  in  spite  of  some 
strange  experiences  with  her  first  husband  married 
a  second  time,  the  last  being  Major . 

Very  little  was  seen  of  her  during  her  first  hus- 
band's lifetime;  people  used  to  say  she  was  kept 
in  captivity.     During  his  earlier  years  Lord  Har- 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS         279 

borough  had  what  the  papers  termed  an  "illicit 
attachment"  with  an  actress,  and  two  children  were 
bom.  By  the  will  of  Lord  Harborough  the  estate 
of  Stapleford  would  go  to  one  of  these  children 
after  the  demise  of  Lady  Harborough.  One  of 
them,  named  Mr.  Kennedy  (for  convenience), 
when  he  grew  up  came  to  preach  one  harvest  festi- 
val at  the  church  attended  by  Lady  Harborough. 
He  was  somewhat  dramatic  in  the  pulpit.  After 
the  service  the  vicar  asked  Lady  Harborough  what 
she  thought  of  the  sermon.  She  replied  quite  pleas- 
antly, "He  has  inherited  his  mother's  dramatic 
talent." 

Stapleford  was  one  of  the  mansions  the  Prince 
of  Wales  viewed  when  looking  for  a  home  before 
he  finally  settled  on  Sandringham.  Eventually  the 
place  passed  into  the  possession  of  Mr.  Hornsby, 
the  Grantham  agricultural  implement  maker,  and 
I  have  been  told  that  now  on  its  portals  there  is  a 
Latin  inscription  indicating  that  it  was  built  by 
the  Earl  of  Harborough  in  the  fifteenth  century, 
and  completed  by  Jacob  Hornsby  in  18 —  some- 
thing, I  forget  what. 

Thinking  of  sermons  reminds  me  of  when  my 
friend,  Mr.  Evelyn  Burnaby,  was  taking  a  service 
once  at  Longleat  while  on  a  visit  to  Lord  and  Lady 
Bath.  He,  being  young  and  nervous  at  the  time, 
inadvertently  prayed  for  King  George  IV,  and  was 
teased  about  it  in  the  drawing-room  after  church. 
He  got  out  of  it  by  saying  it  would  not  do  any  harm, 
it  was  a  long  time  since  anyone  had  prayed  for  him. 


28o         FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

George  the  IV,  by  the  way,  was  an  intimate 
friend  of  Lord  Erskine,  who  was  leading  counsel 
when  Queen  Caroline  was  prosecuted,  and  when 
passing  through  the  park  one  day  with  His  Majesty 
the  latter  noticed  a  new  corps  being  trained.  On 
hearing  they  were  a  corps  of  lawyers,  he  said,  ''Call 
them  the  Devil's  Own,"  which  name  is  borne  to 
this  day. 

Longleat,  the  Bath's  place,  many  people  think, 
is  spoilt  by  being  built  in  a  hollow.  Personally,  I 
prefer  the  hollow,  but  it  has  been  suggested  the 
adjacent  hill  known  as  Heaven's  Gate  would  have 
greatly  enhanced  its  beauty. 

Frequenters  of  Bath  in  the  olden  days  will  prob- 
ably remember  Guinea  Pig  Jack,  who  stood  on  the 
road  between  the  station  and  the  town  with  his  box 
of  guinea  pigs  who  performed  tricks  at  their  own- 
er's command.  Here  the  Italian  daily  made  them 
"Die  for  the  Queen,"  and  recover  immediately  on 
hearing  "The  bobby's  coming."  I  have  been  told 
the  man  made  thousands  of  pounds  in  pence  given 
to  him  and  his  pets  by  visitors  to  the  city,  and  that 
a  Roman  Catholic  priest  advised  him  to  part  with 
it,  and,  being  a  Catholic,  he  meekly  obeyed.  So  the 
poor  little  guinea  pigs'  daily  tricks  did  not  benefit 
their  master  much.  Mr.  Burnaby  once  asked  Jack 
if  he  and  his  guinea  pigs  would  be  photographed 
with  him.  He  consented  for  a  fee  of  five  shillings 
for  the  honour  he  was  conferring  on  my  friend. 

I  never  think  of  Bath  without  remembering  an 
exciting  drive  I  had  coming  home  from  there  one 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS         281 

day  with  a  tipsy  chauffeur.  It  was  a  big  powerful 
open  car,  and  I  was  responsible  for  the  well-being 
of  some  ladies  I  had  invited  to  luncheon  with  me  at 
the  Empire  Hotel.  When  we  came  out  after  lunch- 
eon I  thought  the  chauffeur,  who  had  been  with  us  a 
year  or  two,  was  looking  rather  strange,  so  I  asked 
him  if  he  had  got  all  the  parcels  I  had  sent  to  be 
put  in  the  car.  He  leaned  over  and  began  counting, 
"Thershe  one,  thershe  two,"  then  with  a  silly  smile 
and  wag  of  his  head,  said,  "thershe  a  good  many." 
Evidently  the  young  man  had  lunched.  I  had  never 
known  him  make  such  a  mistake,  and  he  had 
driven  the  car  up  to  the  door  of  the  hotel  and  turned 
it  round  safely,  so  it  must  be  my  fancy  and,  at  any 
rate,  he  evidently  could  drive,  but  to  make  sure  I 
asked  him  to  turn  the  car  round.  This  he  did  quite 
scientifically,  so  I  decided  we  must  venture. 

I  had  been  making  some  rather  extensive  pur- 
chases for  a  party  I  was  giving,  and  had  a  salmon, 
strawberries,  melons  and  all  sorts  of  things  in  the 
car. 

The  moment  we  started  off  we  flew  at  about  sixty 
miles  an  hour,  swishing  round  corners,  between 
trams  and  pavements  in  a  horrifying  manner.  Po- 
lice ran  after  us  shouting,  people  stood  still  and 
stared.  I  knew  it  would  be  worse  than  useless  to 
speak  to  the  man  as  long  as  we  were  in  the  traffic. 
It  would  only  mean  a  smash.  After  many  squeaks 
and  hairbreadth  escapes  we  left  the  town  and  shout- 
ing policemen  behind.  I  therefore  suggested  to  the 
man  he  had  better  drive  a  little  slower  or  we  should 


282         FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

be  killing  somebody.  He  replied,  quite  civilly,  "Oh, 
yes,"  but  continued  at  the  same  speed. 

Presently  on  the  rather  narrow  road  in  front  of 
us  I  saw  a  carrier's  waggon  crawling  towards  us, 
the  driver  evidently  asleep  inside.  I  thought  there 
was  nothing  for  it  but  an  almighty  smash,  so 
planted  my  feet  firmly  that  I  might  be  shot  clear. 
Instead  of  smashing  into  the  waggon  we  darted 
down  into  a  grassy  ditch,  and  before  we  knew 
where  we  were  found  ourselves  out  again,  past  the 
waggon,  and  careering  down  the  road  once  more. 
I  thought  every  spring  must  be  broken  and  could 
not  imagine  why  we  were  not  overturned  during 
our  journey  in  our  exit  out  of  the  ditch,  for  we  had 
been  shot  off  our  seats  right  into  the  air  and  down 
again. 

The  salmon,  strawberries  and  new  felt  shoes  for 
the  housemaids,  to  make  them  quiet  in  the  morning, 
were  dancing  about  together  naked  in  the  bottom 
of  the  car  amongst  our  feet.  The  papers  had  all 
flown  away,  and  so  had  our  wraps.  We  had  some 
very  awkward  corners  to  turn  before  we  reached 
home,  and  at  Wells  an  archway  to  go  through  and 
then  turn  short  and  sharp  to  the  left  close  up  against 
a  big  stone  wall.  I  held  my  breath  as  we  neared  it. 
There  was  a  grating  noise  of  one  wing  against  the 
wall  as  we  went  under  the  arch,  and  we  balanced 
on  two  wheels  rounding  the  corner,  and  then  a 
fairly  straight  run  home. 

A  special  Providence  must  have  watched  over 
us,  for  we  all  arrived  safely,  and  I  must  allow  that 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS         283 

while  the  driving  was  highly  dangerous  it  was 
masterly.  We  all  got  out,  and  I  made  no  remark  to 
the  chauffeur  until  next  day.  When  he  came  for 
Orders  I  spoke  like  a  father  to  him  and  said  of 
course  he  could  never  hope  to  drive  me  or  anybody 
else  again.  He  said,  "No."  He  knew  he  had  taken 
too  much  and  was  truly  thankful  he  had  not  killed 
us  all.  He  then  went  away  into  the  village,  had 
another  drink,  and  shot  the  owner  of  the  public- 
house.  I  came  to  the  conclusion  we  had  come 
rather  well  out  of  our  exciting  drive,  and  truly 
thankful  I  had  not  attempted  to  argue  with  him 
while  at  the  wheel. 

One  of  the  regrets  of  my  life  has  been  not  having 
seen  Lord  Beaconsfield  in  his  bath,  which  sounds 
very  indiscreet,  but  his  devoted  wife  always  said 
that  "Anyone  wishing  to  see  a  true  specimen  of 
manly  beauty  should  see  Dizzy  in  his  bath."  I 
ought  to  have  done  so  out  of  politeness,  and  it  would 
have  made  such  an  unending  source  of  conversation 
between  us! 

I  think  Lord  Beaconsfield  was  fully  alive  to  the 
fact  that  he  owed  much  of  his  fame  to  the  beautiful 
old  Lady  Sykes,  of  Basilden  Park,  Reading,  who 
died  at  the  age  of  one  hundred  years  in  1844.  She 
was  known  as  "The  Norfolk  Centenarian  Peeress." 
She  introduced  him  to  Lord  Lyndhurst,  and  is  sup- 
posed to  be  "Zenobia"  in  his  novel. 

I  think  he  also  knew  why  she  took  so  much  in- 
terest in  him  and  his  career. 

It  is  not  generally  known,  I  believe,  that  Lord 


284         FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

Beaconsfield  in  his  last  moments  when  under  the 
care  of  Dr.  Kidd,  and  with  Lord  Barrington  in  the 
room,  raised  himself  in  bed  into  the  attitude  he  was 
known  to  adopt  when  about  to  address  the  House, 
and  while,  no  doubt,  mentally  doing  so,  passed 
away. 

His  devotion  to  his  wife  was  touching.  He  once 
said  to  me  that  if  there  were  more  wives  in  the 
world  like  his  it  would  be  a  happier  place  to  live  in, 
or  words  to  that  effect.  She  was  a  very  careful 
person,  looking  after  the  crumbs  and  pence  to  a 
remarkable  degree,  for  which  he  was  grateful  and 
proud  of  her  thrift  and  carefulness  as  well  as  for 
her  tender  care  of  himself. 

I  met  his  heir,  Mr.  Coningsby  Disraeli,  in  Ireland 
when  with  the  Ridgeways,  and  felt  he  was  over- 
shadowed by  the  greatness  of  his  uncle.  It  is  so 
hard  to  be  expected  to  live  up  even  pictorially  to 
the  aloofness  of  the  great! 

When  annoyed  Lord  Beaconsfield  was  without 
doubt  the  rudest  and  worst  mannered  man  I  ever 
met,  and  I  am  glad  I  never  came  under  the  ban  of 
his  displeasure. 


CHAPTER  XV 

Victor  Hugo  on  our  Judicial  System — Sir  Howard  Vincent 
and  Sir  Fitzjames  Stephen's  Opinions — "Apple  Pip 
Kelly"  Goes  to  Make  Love — Lord  Chief  Justice  Tindal 
is  Funny — A  Bombay  Official  makes  an  Ass  of  Himself 
— A  Prudish  Man  doing  War  Work — A  Nurse  Teases 
him — Poking  Fun  at  Authorities  and  Result — A  Youth- 
ful Bride  in  Zeppelin  Raid — A  Bigwig's  Views  on  Duty 
— Chummy  Canadians  and  their  Colonel — A  Puzzling 
Accent — General  Sir  Julian  Byng  on  the  Dardanelles 
Question  —  Mr.  Labouchere  Wanted  —  Mr.  Gibson 
Bowles  Busy  in  "The  House." 

VICTOR  HUGO  did  not  consider  our  English 
judicial  system  as  good  as  the  French;  he 
explained  this  once  in  Paris  when  in  1877 
a  cause  celebre  was  being  heard  in  the  Palais  de 
Justice.  The  court  was  crowded  with  men  and 
women,  the  latter  attired  in  the  latest  creations  of 
Worth.  He  expressed  it  as  his  opinion  that  our 
English  system  is  litigious  and  not  inquisitorial. 
The  French  trial  is  the  final  act,  every  circumstance 
has  been  investigated  previously  by  a  body  of  offi- 
cers and  the  accused  examined  by  them  privately. 
In  England  the  judge  hears  the  evidence  for  the 
first  time  and  addresses  the  jury  upon  the  facts  as 
they  have  been  proved  in  court.  I  was  asking  Sir 
Howard  Vincent  his  views  on  this  subject  once. 

285 


286         FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

He  said  the  French  was  undoubtedly  the  one  by 
which  to  arrive  at  the  truth  but  it  would  never  be 
tolerated  in  England.  The  late  Sir  Fitzjames  Ste- 
phens who  presided  at  the  trial  of  Mrs.  Maybrick 
in  1887  also  agreed  that  the  French  system  was  the 
best,  considering  the  desired  object  was  the  truth, 
therefore  the  inquisitorial  system  was  bound  to  be 
the  superior,  but  added  that  the  great  love  of  fair 
play  that  was  our  natural  characteristic  would  pre- 
vent its  ever  being  introduced  into  England. 

Victor  Hugo  was  the  only  poet  I  ever  met  or 
heard  of  who  was  able  to  combine  poetry  and  busi- 
ness. He  was  a  *'cute"  man  of  affairs,  if  I  may 
use  the  slang  expression,  and  what  a  wonderful 
but  melancholy  personality;  I  think  he  dreamed  of 
tragedy,  he  certainly  showed  his  taste  in  that  line 
very  early  in  life,  being  only  fourteen  when  he 
composed  and  produced  a  tragedy,  when. at  that  age 
he  should  not  have  known  what  the  word  meant. 
The  thing  that  struck  me  most  in  conversation  with 
him  was  his  melancholy  and  entire  absence  of 
humour,  but  he  was  a  genius  and  knew  it.  The 
worst  of  being  a  genius  is  they  have  to  pay  so  dearly 
for  it,  the  privilege  is  to  sorrow  more  bitterly  and 
torment  themselves  more  utterly  over  matters  they 
are  powerless  to  control  or  alter,  than  falls  to  the 
lot  of  the  ordinary  everyday  individual. 

Like  Ruskin  striving  after  the  impossible,  un- 
happy and  discontented  because  he  could  not  make 
the  world  the  beautiful  place  he  wished  it  to  be,  and 
could  dimly  see  in  his  dreams. 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS         287 

Carlyle's  unhappiness  took  another  form;  he 
could  not  tolerate  anyone  greater  than  himself.  But 
I  must  go  back  to  the  people  of  my  own  time. 

Sir  Fitzroy  Kelly,  whom  my  father  used  to  tell 
me  about,  called  Apple-pip  Kelly,  in  consequence 
of  his  having  been  counsel  for  Fawcett,  the  Quaker, 
tried  for  the  murder  of  a  man  at  Slough  who  had 
died  from  a  dose  of  prussic  acid.  Sir  Fitzroy  made 
a  powerful  address  to  the  jury  suggesting  the  de- 
ceased might  have  died  from  apple  pips  which  were 
known  to  contain  the  properties  of  prussic  acid. 

It  was  an  ingenious  defence,  but  I  fear  did  not 
save  the  Quaker. 

Kelly  was  a  wonderful  old  man,  for  when  his 
years  were  nigh  four  score  he  still  liked  to  pay  his 
addresses  to  the  fair  sex,  whom  he  greatly  admired. 
Unfortunately  on  one  occasion  when  driving  out 
from  Lewis  to  say  pretty  things  to  a  widow  of  his 
acquaintance  his  carriage  was  upset  and  he  sat 
down  in  a  puddle  of  water,  which  so  cooled  his  ar- 
dour that  he  went  home,  returning  no  more  to  the 
comely  widow. 

He  had  a  habit  latterly  of  falling  asleep  when 
the  cap  ^.e  was  hearing  became  dull.  Once  when 
trying  a  case  involving  the  loss  of  a  ship's  cargo 
the  chief  baron  was  in  a  condition  of  somnolence. 
It  so  happened  that  he  was  a  firm  believer  in  the 
wholesomeness  of  dates  and  was  particularly  fond 
of  them,  and  on  Counsel  mentioning  the  word  dates, 
the  judge  awoke  with  a  start,  saying,  "What  did  you 
say  the  ship  contained?"     "Dates"  was  the  reply. 


288         FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

"Most  important,"  said  the  judge,  grasping  his  pen 
to  make  notes,  and  slumbered  no  more. 

He  succeeded  Sir  F.  Pollock  and  was  the  last  of 
the  chiefs  of  the  now  obsolete  court  of  Exchequer, 

Judges  can  really  be  very  funny  sometimes, 
though  it  behooves  all  present  to  laugh  even  if  they 
only  think  they  are. 

The  following  is  quite  neat,  I  think. 

Some  years  ago  when  Lady  RoUo,  on  her  hus- 
band's death  refused  to  let  the  hounds  go  out,  a 
sergeant-at-law  asked  Lord  Chief  Justice  Tindal 
whether  he  thought  there  would  be  anything  inde- 
corous in  so  doing,  if  each  hound  had  a  piece  of 
crape  round  its  neck  or  tail.  'T  hardly  think,"  said 
the  judge,  "that  crape  would  be  necessary,  surely 
it  would  be  sufficient  if  they  were  all  in  full  cry." 

Even  legal  folk  manage  to  make  mistakes  some- 
times, I  have  observed.  A  jovial  Rivett  Carnac 
cousin  who  was  administrator-general  in  Bombay 
at  one  time  was  staying  with  us,  and  our  dear  old 
friend  Sir  Charles  Lowther  was  dining  amongst 
others.  Though  blind,  his  eyes,  at  least  one  of  them, 
had  a  way  of  roving  round,  but  this  had  not  been 
noticed  by  the  man  from  Bombay,  and  when  asked 
to  sing  one  of  his  comic  songs  for  which  he  was 
famed  he  sat  down  to  the  piano  and  sang  a  silly 
thing  with  a  chorus  in  which  all  were  expected  to 
join,  something  about 

"And  one  eye  looked  up  at  the  ceiling 
The  other  looked  down  at  the  floor." 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS         289 

Sir  Charles  clapped  and  encored,  but  we  all  felt 
uncomfortable,  and  I  smiled  the  emotionless  smile 
of  kings  and  queens,  my  eyes  not  smiling  at  all. 

Conventionality  dies  an  easy  death  in  war  time, 
and  in  consequence  I  have  been  amused  many  times. 
Naturally  everybody  worth  their  salt  has  wanted  to 
do  their  bit.  It  so  happened  that  practically  every 
male  that  was  sound,  and  some  that  were  not  in 
the  neighbourhood  of  my  home,  had  found  some- 
thing useful  to  do  shortly  after  war  w^as  declared 
with  the  exception  of  one  man  a  little  past  mark  of 
mouth  and  consumed  with  his  own  importance;  he 
felt  it  looked  odd  his  being  left  the  sole  unemployed 
male  element  in  the  place  so  wrote  to  the  Military 
Authorities  offering  to  do  any  work  that  would  not 
take  him  far  from  home,  as  he  could  not  really  be 
spared,  the  estate  (about  100  acres)  and  the  village 
could  not  possibly  be  left  without  his  guiding  hand, 
he  also  kept  a  strict  eye  on  the  morals  of  the  place, 
but  he  could  spare  a  little  time  every  day  to  cut 
bread  and  butter  for  soldiers  or  something  useful 
of  that  kind. 

Various  forms  of  usefulness  were  suggested  but 
so  many  obliged  him  to  be  mixed  up  with  women 
workers  that  he  declined;  he  felt  too  shy  and  did 
not  think  it  at  all  proper  or  nice! 

At  last,  from  very  shame,  when  he  was  asked  to 
take  night  duty  in  a  voluntary  hospital  near,  he 
accepted  it,  without  having  quite  grasped  all  the 
post  entailed.  There  had  been  a  good  deal  of 
joking  amongst  the  nurses  about  this  prudish  per- 


290         FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

son  who  fancied  himself  so  enormously;  he  felt 
no  woman  nurse  or  otherwise  could  be  near  him 
without  proposing  to  him  or  something  worse,  so 
they  determined  to  give  him  a  lesson.  When  he 
came  on  duty  the  first  night  a  pretty  nurse  explained 
to  him  minutely  his  duties.  All  was  going  swim- 
mingly until  she  said  "and  in  case  of  emergency 
you  must  come  and  awake  me,  I  am  always  so  tired 
I  sleep  very  heavily." 

Night  Nurse.  "But  hum — er — how  do  I  call 
you?  do  I  knock  at  your  door,  and  which  is  your 
door?  Oh,  really! — I  think  that  would  be  a  mis- 
take— would  not  do  at  all." 

Day  Nurse.  "No?"  (sweetly,  with  head  on  one 
side).     "Why  not?" 

Nig  Jit  Nurse.  "Well — oh — er — don't  you  see  er 
— it  might — er — lead  to — er — really  this  is  very 
awkward,  to  (in  desperation)   misinterpretation." 

Day  Nurse.  Cheerfully,  "Oh,  well  we  can't  help 
that,  can  we?"  She  began  to  move  away,  calling 
back,  "Don't  forget  to  call  me  zuell,  your  only 
chance  really  of  awaking  me  is  to  pull  me  out  of  bed 
by  my  legs !" 

Alight  Nurse.  Pale  and  trembling,  muttered  to 
himself,  "This  will  never  do — impossible  situation, 
never  be  able  to  hold  my  head  up  again — what  will 
people  think — and  say!  I  must  find  the  head  doctor 
and  make  some  other  arrangement,"  and  he  did. 

Another  rather  sporting  married  man  of  a  certain 
age,  wished  to  be  useful  and  wrote  to  the  War 
Ofifice  saying  he  had  been  accustomed  to  hunting 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS         291 

all  his  life  and  the  handling  of  horses  if  there  was 
anything  in  that  line  he  could  do  ?  Then  in  a  weak 
moment  he  poked  some  fun,  or  what  he  thought 
fun,  at  the  Government  officials  by  saying  he  was 
A.I.  at  managing  mules. 

In  consequence  of  which  before  he  was  much 
older  he  found  himself  responsible  for  hundreds  of 
biting  and  bickering  mules  at  the  front  and  wished 
himself  dead. 

There  has  been  much  marriage  and  giving  in 
marriage  since  the  outbreak  of  war.  One  of  the 
victims,  though  a  willing  one,  has  been  a  very 
young  friend  of  mine  just  out  of  the  schoolroom 
and  rather  bonny.  A  naval  man  spirited  her  away, 
and  put  her  in  lodgings  at  a  place  on  the  South- 
East  coast  where  he  could  see  his  bride  occasionally. 

Being  absurdly  young,  bright  and  nice-looking 
everybody  was  kind  to  her,  and  when  there  was  a 
Zeppelin  raid  over  the  town  where  she  was  staying 
many  were  the  people  who  flew  to  protect  her.  She 
had  not  been  long  in  bed  one  night  when  the  bomb- 
ing began,  window  panes  and  roofs  were  flying 
about  in  every  direction.  The  landlady  was  the 
first  to  dash  into  her  room,  pull  her  out  of  bed  and 
hustle  her  down  the  stairs  to  some  safer  place,  she 
met  several  people  on  the  way  to  save  her,  others 
went  to  her  room  to  find  her  flown.  A  frantic  mes- 
senger came  from  her  husband  saying  the  only 
safe  place  was  with  her  face  to  an  inner  wall  and 
a  corner  for  choice,  she  was  therefore  hustled  into 
a  dark  corner  on  the  stairs  with  her  face  to  the  wall. 


292         FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

Not  having  been  allowed  any  voice  in  the  matter 
she  now  plaintively  suggested  she  was  chilly  with 
bare  feet  and  only  her  silk  night  garments,  but  she 
told  me  it  was  not  much  use  complaining  as  all 
the  people  who  had  come  to  save  her  were  attired 
in  her  things,  the  landlady  was  in  her  dressing- 
gown,  her  slippers  on  another,  a  third  her  great 
coat,  a  fourth  her  eiderdown,  etc.,  and  the  poor  little 
bride  had  nothing  left  in  the  way  of  wraps. 

This  war,  so  dramatic  in  achievement  and  so 
vital  in  all  its  bearings,  has  obliged  many  of  us  to 
alter  some  of  our  preconceived  ideas,  we  are  shaken 
to  our  foundation,  hardly  now  knowing  what  we 
believe  to  be  right  and  what  wrong. 

I  was  talking  to  one  of  our  present-day  soldiers 
about  this  not  long  ago  and  chiding  him  mildly  for 
his  change  of  front  on  certain  points,  conscription 
being  one.  Once  he  did  not  see  the  necessity  of  it 
for  the  English  people,  but  has  now  of  course 
changed  his  views.  When  I  asked  him  how  he 
reconciled  his  mind  to  the  various  changes,  his  an- 
swer struck  me  as  worth  considering.  He  said,  "You 
must  not  forget  I  am  a  paid  servant  of  the  Crown, 
and  so  long  as  I  am  that  my  own  private  views  have 
nothing  to  do  with  my  work,  and  must  not  appear 
in  it.  I  am  there  to  do  as  I  am  told,  to  carry  out 
the  views  and  instructions  of  my  employers.  If  one 
master  employing  me  says,  'Let  us  scuttle  out  of 
Egypt  and  abandon  those  we  have  led  into  danger,' 
I  abandon  them,  and  scuttle,  doing  all  in  my  power 
to  facilitate  the  scuttling.    Another  employer  may 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS         293 

say,  *At  all  costs  we  must  hold  Egypt  and  rescue 
those  who  are  holdmg  their  lives  in  their  hands  and 
waiting  for  us,'  here  again  I  endeavour  to  carry  out 
my  orders,  but  I  do  not  consider  myself  the 
weather-cock  you  seem  to  imply  that  I  am.  I  am 
obeying  orders,  my  opinion  is  not  asked,  and  if  it 
was  my  advice  would  probably  not  be  taken.  My 
first  duty  lies  in  unquestioning  obedience.  If  I 
found  that  I  could  not  keep  my  own  views  under 
proper  control  I  should  no  longer  be  of  any  use  to 
either  party  and  should  most  certainly  chuck  it." 

These  views  are  perhaps  what  may  be  expected 
from  the  old  army  reared  in  red  tape  and  forbidden 
to  think  or  have  views  of  their  own,  but  it  is  very 
wonderful  that  the  new  army  who  three  years  ago, 
and  some  only  a  few  months  ago,  were  doing  mental 
arithmetic  with  pens  behind  their  ears  in  the  city 
or  measuring  out  yards  of  silk  to  lady  customers 
and  bamboozling  them  on  to  its  properties  and 
worth,  should  fall  into  line  as  if  they  had  been  all 
their  lives  at  the  game.  Yet  we  hear  little  of  insub- 
ordination. The  old  order  hath  changed  neverthe- 
less in  more  ways  than  one,  which  was  bound  to  be 
the  case  with  mixed  cosmopolitan  crowds  of  sol- 
diers. For  instance,  a  relation  of  mine  out  at  the 
front  heard  a  Canadian  Colonel  addressing  his  men 
prior  to  an  inspection  from  the  King,  Lord  Kitch- 
ener or  some  such  bigwig,  he  was  imploring  them 
not  to  call  him  "Sammy"  before  the  chiefs. 

At  first  the  accent  of  the  Canadians  and  Austra- 
lians puzzled  me;  I  am  growing  used  to  it  now, 


294         FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

but  acclimatised  as  T  am  becoming  I  was  rather 
upset  a  while  ago  at  being  asked  if  I  had  noticed 
some  fine  lice  on  the  altar-cloth  in  a  certain  church, 
in  time  I  gathered  it  was  the  lace  being  referred  to 
by  my  Australian  friend. 

General,  now  Field-Marshal,  Lord  French  was 
always  a  very  keen  and  dashing  cavalryman,  he, 
to  use  a  latter-day  expression,  was  fairly  "putting 
the  wind  up"  the  Somerset  Yeomanry  during  one 
of  their  annual  trainings  years  ago  when  he  went 
down  to  inspect  them. 

It  was  in  the  good  old  dreamy  pre-war  days, 
when  the  few  who  could  be  tempted  into  joining  the 
irregular  forces  felt  they  were  really  being  very 
decent  to  their  country  about  it  and  were  sometimes 
rather  insistent  that  this  should  be  borne  in  mind 
during  their  time  in  camp.  Many  of  these  staunch 
yeomen  were  hunting  farmers  mounted  on  their 
own  useful  horses,  but  there  were  others  who  sel- 
dom, if  ever,  crossed  a  horse  at  any  other  time  and 
were  on  hirelings,  so  that  military  evolutions  car- 
ried out  at  a  faster  pace  than  a  slow  trot  were  a 
matter  of  the  utmost  delicacy  and  not  to  be  lightly 
undertaken. 

When  the  day  of  General  French's  inspection 
arrived,  the  Yeomen  turned  out,  a  blaze  of  splen- 
dour, and  all  went  famously  until  the  General 
wanted  them  to  do  a  "charge."  Anxious  to  oblige 
him,  they  charged  in  the  restrained  manner  they 
had  found  to  be  the  most  desirable,  especially  as 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS         295 

tfiey  were  crossing  country  they  did  not  know  very 
well. 

The  impetuous  General  French,  however,  was  not 
satisfied  and  galloped  after  the  squadron  shouting, 
'Taster !  faster ! !    Gallop !  gallop ! !" 

Stung  to  frenzy  by  his  shouts,  the  doomed 
squadron  flung  all  discretion  to  the  winds,  and 
really  let  themselves  go,  with  terrible  results.  All 
vestige  of  formation  was  lost,  while  an  ever-thick- 
ening trail  of  equipment  and  fallen  yeomen  was  left 
in  the  wake. 

When  this  uncontrolled  living  avalanche  had 
reached  its  wildest  point,  a  sunken  fence  suddenly 
yawned  before  them,  representing  a  drop  of  at  least 
four  feet.  The  first  ranks  strove  madly  to  stem 
the  tide,  but  those  behind  drove  them  blindly  for- 
ward. Really,  the  horrors  of  the  Balaclava  charge 
paled  before  this  story! 

By  this  time  none  but  the  most  consummate  had 
more  than  one  foot  in  the  stirrup,  and  those  who 
had  not  fallen  off,  passionately  envied  those  who 
had.  On  they  charged,  and  met  their  doom  over 
the  sunken  fence.  Some  jumped  it  with  their 
horses,  others  without;  a  few  slid  in. 

It  was  too  terrible  to  watch,  for  it  looked  as  if 
there  had  been  a  severe  battle,  the  far  side  of  the 
fence  littered  with  fallen  warriors  and  their  horses. 
The  air  was  thick  with  deep  and  agitated  voices 
swearing  before  Heaven  they  had  done  with  soldier- 
ing for  ever;  some  of  the  horses  had  come  to  the 
same  conclusion. 


296         FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

After  it  was  all  over  General  French  spoke 
honeyed  words  to  them,  even  referred  tactfully  to 
the  little  matter  of  the  smiken  fence  which  he  had 
not  noticed  when  he  ordered  "the  charge."  There 
were  a  good  many  resignations  all  the  same ! 

One  yeoman  told  me  he  could  never  hear  the 
tune  the  band  played  that  day  without  breaking  out 
into  a  perspiration. 

Music  really  plays  a  large  part  in  our  lives,  much 
larger  than  many  of  us  are  aware  of.  Under  its 
influence  we  become  heroes  and  heroines  in  imagi- 
nation, and  who  can  say  it  does  not  at  times  make 
us  so  in  reality.  Think  of  the  dear  old  street  organ 
that  we  paid  to  go  away,  why?  Because  it  played 
tricks  with  our  memories  and  emotions  which  we 
could  not  face.  Then  scent,  another  powerful 
messenger, — but  I  must  not  stray  from  my  yeoman, 
for  really  he  ought  to  have  had  a  medal  after  sur- 
viving such  an  ordeal,  but  it  was  before  the  days  of 
"the  monkey  and  the  goat,"  which  I  hear  is  what 
C.M.G.  stands  for.  Perhaps  he  agreed  with  Sir 
Robert  Peel  that  the  distinction  of  being  without 
an  honour  is  becoming  a  rare  and  honourable  one, 
but  then  Sir  Robert  was  thinking  and  speaking  of 
the  hunters  after  titles  and  honours,  of  which  we 
hear  so  much  to-day,  ready  to  pay  large  sums  into 
the  party  funds,  the  amount  being  regulated  by  the 
honour  conferred.  As  far  as  our  soldiers  and 
sailors  are  concerned  to-day,  it  seems  as  if  all  had 
deserved  medals  for  bravery. 

In  these  stressful  times,  when  we  walk  about 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS         297 

metaphorically  with  our  hands  on  our  hearts  and  a 
great  dread  in  our  brains,  it  takes  very  little  to 
make  us  laugh,  which  sounds  paradoxical,  but  is  a 
living  fact,  one's  nerves  are  at  high  tension,  both 
laughter  and  tears  are  very  near  the  surface.  On 
this  account  all  were  much  amused  when  a  trifling 
contretemps  occurred  to  poor  Lord  Breadalbane 
during  the  early  part  of  the  war  when  taking  a 
party  of  the  Grenadier  Guards  to  shoot  at  Byfleet. 
They  had  to  change  trains  and  cross  a  bridge  at 
East  Ham,  West  Ham  or  some  such  place,  I  have 
forgotten  the  name  of  the  station.  It  had  been  rain- 
ing and  the  platform  was  slippery. 

Everybody  had  turned  out  to  admire  the  beauties, 
who  perfectly  understood  the  amount  of  attention 
they  were  attracting.  The  nursery  maids  and 
errand  boys  left  and  forgot  their  babies  and  parcels 
to  get  a  better  view  of  the  clanking  soldiers  cross- 
ing the  bridge  with  chests  thrown  out  and  a  would- 
be  detached  expression. 

Suddenly,  when  all  had  negotiated  the  slippery 
steps  satisfactorily  and  were  forming  up  ready  for 
the  next  train  the  hob-nails  in  Lord  Breadalbane's 
boots  played  him  a  dirty  trick  and  with  a  mighty 
splutter  he  fell  flat  on  his  face  in  front  of  his  men 
and  the  admiring  crowd.  The  clatter  was  stupend- 
ous, it  seemed  almost  impossible  one  man,  even  if 
tall  and  lean,  could  make  so  much  noise.  His  sword 
flew  out  of  its  scabbard  and  executed  a  ''fox  trot" 
all  by  itself,  his  ammunition-bag  sat  on  his  head 
wrong  side  up,   cunning  drinking-cups   and   field 


298         FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

glasses  hobnobbed  in  an  out-of-the-way  corner, 
head  gear  fell  over  the  platform  on  to  the  line.  It 
has  taken  some  time  to  describe  the  scene,  but  it  all 
happened  so  quickly  it  was  difficult  to  guess  exactly 
what  was  taking  place,  no  one  looking  more  utterly 
bewildered  than  the  men,  who  with  protruding  eyes 
of  horror  and  open  mouthed  from  shock  continued 
doing  goose  step,  marking  time  until  the  command- 
ing officer  was  right  side  up  again.  Unfortunately 
the  moment  he  was  rearranged  and  preparing  to 
give  words  of  command  in  a  huffy  ruffled  manner 
another  side  slip  sent  him  flat  on  his  back. 

The  first  fall  had  occasioned  ejaculations  of  "Oh, 
my,  'ope  'e  'asn't  hurt  'isself"  from  the  nursery- 
maids, but  when  the  second  acrobatic  evolution 
took  place  there  were  shrieks  of  laughter  from  the 
gallery,  on  the  bridge  and  the  other  side  of  the  sta- 
tion. It  was  a  silly  little  thing  to  make  us  laugh 
but  I  have  laughed  for  less  at  well-performed  pan- 
tomimic displays. 

The  faces  of  the  men  were  such  studies,  the  first 
disaster  and  clatter  disconcerted  them,  but  the 
second  really  frightened  them,  they  had  never  seen 
any  account  in  their  drill-books  of  what  was  the 
correct  thing  to  do  under  the  circumstances.  The 
only  person  who  saw  nothing  funny  about  it  at  all 
was  poor  Lord  Breadalbane. 

I  begin  to  feel  quite  ancient  when  I  think  of 
General  the  Hon.  Sir  Julian  Byng,  who  has  done 
so  well  in  this  war,  as  I  first  saw  him  with  the  tenth 
Hussars  at  Lucknow. 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS         299 

I  have  been  refreshing  my  memory  of  what  he 
was  like  in  those  days  by  looking  at  a  photograph 
I  have  of  him  taken  at  that  time  in  a  group.  In 
those  days  he  was  a  very  junior  subaltern,  shy  and 
retiring,  but  gave  one  the  impression  of  being  like 
the  sailors  parrot  "thinking  the  more." 

A  good  many  years  have  passed  over  our  heads 
since  then  and  the  shy  and  retiring  youth  has 
blossomed  out  into  a  general  with  a  witty  and 
forcible  vocabulary. 

When  Lord  Kitchener  consulted  him  as  to  what 
was  the  best  to  be  done  at  the  Dardanelles,  in 
November,  191 5,  his  answer  is  worth  recording,  it 
was  so  true.  "Either,"  he  said,  "we  must  get  on,  or 
get  out," — hereby  putting  the  problem  in  a  nutshell. 
A  very  high  and  mighty  person  who  seldom  allows 
himself  any  freedom  of  speech  was  talking  to  me 
about  this  a  very  short  time  ago  and  he  said,  "Byng 
was  right.  Had  the  Government  been  able  to  make 
up  its  mind  they  must  'get  on,'  and  had  they  sent 
the  wherewithal  the  war  would  have  been  over  in 
the  early  summer  of  this  year,  but  they  could  not, 
therefore  the  only  alternative  was  to  'get  out,'  but 
for  a  long  time  they  could  not  even  harden  their 
hearts  to  do  that." 

I  miss  the  cynical  and  drastic  pen  of  Mr.  Labou- 
chere.  No  one  has  arisen  to  walk  in  his  footsteps 
with  the  same  daring  disregard  for  consequences 
and  personages,  no  one  has  the  courage  of  his  con- 
victions to  quite  the  same  extent.    How  much  more 


300         FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

he  would  have  told  us  of  the  little  whispers  we  hear 
from  the  front! 

Mr.  Gibson  Bowles,  judging  by  a  letter  he  wrote 
a  short  time  ago,  is  "fighting  all  parties  in  the  House 
of  Commons  in  the  interests  of  the  State."  Perhaps 
he  has  his  eye  on  a  few  little  things  that  want  look- 
ing into.  I  have  known  him  speak  some  home- 
truths  at  times.  In  days  gone  by  when  he,  Fred 
Burnaby  and  a  friend  owned  Vanity  Fair,  I  remem- 
ber some  of  his  remarks  were  not  always  flattering. 

On  one  occasion  when  the  mother  of  a  well- 
known  baronet  gave  a  ball,  the  following  week 
Vanity  Fair  held  a  paragraph  saying,  'The  liquor 
was  not  of  the  highest  order,  as  it  much  resembled 
gooseberry  wine."  This,  if  he  had  been  one  of  the 
guests  was  not  good  taste,  but  quite  possibly  he 
wrote  from  information  received.  The  hostess' 
son  said  he  intended  inflicting  summary  castigation 
on  Mr.  Bowles's  latter  end.  Fred  Burnaby  said, 
"What  will  he  care,  he's  told  that  every  day." 


CHAPTER  XVI 

Some  Celebrated  Women — Lady  Ely,  Lady  Molesworth 
and  Skittles — The  Prince  of  Wales — Lady  Molesworth 
and  Paddy  Green  at  Evans'  Supper  Rooms — A  Row  in 
the  Quorn  Country — Skittles  has  the  Last  Word — Bel- 
gravian  Mother's  Lament — Lady  Stamford,  Girton,  and 
Robert  Peck — Lady  Cardigan  is  Surprising — Mrs.  Pos- 
tlethwait  and  Her  Friends — Mr.  Gladstone  and  Beacons- 
field — She  Gives  him  the  Kiss  of  Peace — No  Old  Ladies 
— Sad  Memories — Three  First  Class  Misdemeanants — 
Holloway  Jail — Flora  Annie  Steel  and  Helen  Mathers — 
Their  Writings — A  Dunce  or  Two — Different  Etiquettes 
— The  Rev.  Evelyn  Burnaby  and  Mrs.  White  Melville — 
He  Prescribes  for  Her. 

COLONEL  FRED  BURNABY  used  to  say 
the  three  grand  dames  of  his  generation 
were  Jane  Lady  Ely,  Lady  Waldegrave, 
and  Lady  Molesworth,  widow  of  Sir  William 
Molesworth  of  Pencarrow,  Cornwall,  mathemati- 
cian, philosopher,  and  at  one  time  Secretary  of 
State  for  the  Colonies. 

Lady  Molesworth  was  a  remarkable  and  highly 
talented  woman.  Talent,  no  matter  in  what  form, 
and  that  illusive  undefinable  quality  we  call  charm, 
for  want  of  some  better  definition,  are  undoubtedly 
great  factors  in  life,  and  always  make  themselves 
felt.  Take,  for  example,  two  characters  of  dia- 
metrically opposite  temperaments  reigning  at  the 

301 


302         FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

same  period,  both  gathering  in  a  rich  harvest  of 
admirers — Lady  Molesworth  and  the  notorious 
"Skittles,"  I  do  not  know  her  real  name,  and  can 
find  none  who  do,  though  plenty  who  remember  her 
well.  Both  these  women  started  life  in  the  streets, 
the  former  as  a  musician,  the  latter  with  a  basket 
of  oranges  and  watercress  at  the  top  of  Sloane 
Street.  Lady  Molesworth  became  the  leader  of  all 
that  was  best  in  society  of  her  day,  the  friend  of 
kings  and  queens,  and  holding  political  salons  of 
importance.  The  notorious  ''Skittles,"  with  the 
face  of  an  innocent  child,  became  the  most  famous 
charmer  of  male  hearts  in  England,  a  byword  in  the 
shires  as  well  as  London. 

Both  were  dazzling  successes  in  widely  different 
ways.  I  think  everyone  will  admit  that  nothing 
but  talent  that  rose  above  all  handicaps  could  have 
enabled  Lady  Molesworth  to  win  and  hold,  as  she 
did  to  the  end  of  her  days,  such  a  position  as  she 
made  for  herself. 

People  are  prone  to  underestimate  the  talents  of 
the  "Skittles"  of  every  generation.  They  say,  "Oh, 
that  sort  of  success  is  easy  enough  for  a  pretty 
woman  by  those  methods!"  But  is  it?  I  think 
not.  That  is  a  great  mistake.  If  it  were  true  what 
crowds  would  make  themselves  rich  in  the  social 
history  of  the  times.  I  maintain  there  must  have 
been  real  talent  in  "Skittles"  besides  good  looks 
and  easy  ways. 

The  careers  of  both  these  interesting  women  are 
worth  a  passing  thought.     Lady  Molesworth  was 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS         303 

a  Miss  Carstairs,  and  when  trundling  her  organ  in 
the  streets  of  London  attracted  the  attention  of 
Mr.  Temple  West  of  Mathon  Lodge,  Worcester- 
shire. It  was  a  case  of  love  at  first  sight,  and 
honourable  love.  He  took  her  under  his  wing,  had 
her  educated,  and  married  her.  That  her  education 
was  not  wasted  she  amply  proved  later  in  life.  At 
the  death  of  Mr.  Temple  West,  who  left  her  well 
provided  for,  she  married  Sir  William,  Molesworth. 
There  is  little  doubt  she  made  both  men  happy,  and 
they  left  her  considerable  fortunes.  Sir  William 
died  in  1858.  She  survived  until  1888,  dying  rich 
and  respected. 

Her  time  was  spent  between  Pencarrow  and 
Eaton  Place,  her  house  being  the  last  at  the  corner 
of  the  south-west  side.  To  be  asked  to  stay  at 
Pencarrow  was  like  getting  the  "Blue  Riband"  of 
society. 

At  the  time  I  married  she  was  no  longer  young, 
but  still  a  leader  of  fashion,  giving  recherche  din- 
ners and  entertaining  royalty,  much  envied  of  many 
of  the  blue-blooded. 

She  was  supposed  to  have  a  marvellous  cook,  and 
judging  by  her  dinners  she  certainly  had,  but  I  have 
been  told  by  someone  who  ought  to  know  that  these 
dinners  were  cooked  by  a  charwoman  called  in  for 
the  purpose.  It  seems  incredible,  but  here  again  it 
may  have  been  a  case  of  talent  making  itself  felt, 
and  there  may  have  been  family  reasons  why  the 
char-lady  was  unable  to  maintain  the  high  position 
her  talent  deserved. 


304         FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

It  is  surprising  that  no  life  or  memoirs  of  Lady 
Molesworth  have  been  written,  for  from  a  social 
point  of  view  her  knowledge  of  society  and  her 
power  in  the  political  world  were  greater  than  that 
of,  say,  Lady  Dorothy  Nevill.  In  Lady  Molesworth 
we  see  a  woman  who  appealed  to  all  that  was  best 
in  men,  their  honour  and  chivalry. 

She  was  a  very  kind  woman,  but  had  the  * 'selec- 
tive" and  "exclusive"  instinct  strongly  developed, 
and  she  was  not  to  be  ''got  at"  easily  by  ordinary 
society.  To  struggling  musicians  she  was  especially 
kind,  ready  at  all  times  with  a  helping  hand,  re- 
membering, no  doubt,  her  early  years. 

Charles  Dickens  was  to  have  dined  with  her  the 
week  he  died  at  Gadshill. 

She  was  an  exceedingly  clever  and  delightful 
woman.  The  Prince  of  Wales  (King  Edward  VII) 
admired  her,  and  found  her  excellent  company. 
Once  when  she  was  in  a  box  with  him  at  Evan's 
Supper  Rooms,  Paddy  Green,  the  old  "walker- 
round,"  who  used  to  wander  from  table  to  table 
greeting  the  visitors  all  as  "dear  fellahs !"  with  his 
green  silk  handkerchief  and  snuff-box,  went  up  to 
her  and  claimed  acquaintance,  reminding  her  of  the 
days  when  they  had  been  on  the  stage  together,  and 
from  his  pocket  produced  an  orange  play  bill,  on 
which  their  names  appeared.  Quite  naturally  she 
said,  "Show  it  to  his  Royal  Highness,  Paddy,"  and 
he  did  so.  She  seemed  quite  amused  and  pleased 
about  it. 

Providence   had   bestowed   upon    "Skittles"    an 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS         305 

entirely  different  temperament  from  that  of  Lady 
Molesworth,  and  she  graduated  from  the  top  of 
Sloane  Street  to  the  Panton  Street  crowd,  Cre- 
morne,  and  the  well-known  places  of  amusement. 
From  there  to  a  beautiful  home  of  her  own,  that  is 
to  say,  it  was  occupied  by  her,  and  into  the  shires 
where  she  hunted  with  the  pick  and  flower  of  the 
land.  Who  taught  her  to  ride  I  do  not  know,  but  I 
do  know  who  introduced  her  to  the  shires,  and  I 
have  heard  much  and  often  of  her  deeds  and 
prowess  there.  There  was  also  the  echo  of  a  famous 
rumpus  she  occasioned  there  fifty-five  years  ago 
when  out  with  the  Quorn,  at  the  time  Lord  Stam- 
ford, the  seventh  earl,  was  the  master.  Naturally 
I  was  not  there,  but  friends  who  were  said  there 
was  a  terrible  scene. 

"Skittles,"  mounted  on  some  of  the  finest  hunters 
money  could  buy,  chosen  for  her  by  one  of  the 
friends  responsible  for  her  presence  in  the  field, 
had  for  weeks  been  wiping  the  eyes  of  all  the  women 
out  hunting,  and  a  good  many  of  the  men.  One 
day  she  hailed  Lady  Stamford,  the  wife  of  the 
master,  as  an  old  acquaintance  of  Cremorne.  No 
notice  was  taken  of  the  salutations,  so  "Skittles," 
emboldened  by  her  triumph  and  success,  again  ad- 
dressed the  master's  wife,  who  had  been  recognised 
by  society  and  much  liked. 

Lady  Stamford  then  complained  to  a  whip  to  rid 
her  of  the  presence  of  so  objectionable  a  person,  and 
"Skittles"  was  asked  to  "move  on,"  but  flatly  de- 
clined to  do  anything  of  the  kind.    The  master  was 


3o6         FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

appealed  to  and  asked  to  take  the  hounds  home. 
This  he  was  reluctant  to  do,  feeling  that  the  hunting 
field  was  open  to  all  who  cared  to  support  it,  but  he 
said  that  if  "Skittles"  made  herself  objectionable 
to  other  women  in  the  field  he  would  be  obliged  to 
ask  her  not  to  come  out,  and  if  she  did  he  must 
take  the  hounds  home.  The  particular  friends  of 
"Skittles"  then  begged  her  to  go  home  for  the  day 
and  thus  restore  peace.  To  this  she  eventually 
agreed,  but  not  before  enjoying  the  last  word,  which 
was  shouted  for  all  to  hear. 

**A11  right,  you  fellows,  I'll  go.  I  won't  spoil 
your  sport,  but  what  the  hell  is  the  good  of  Lady 
Stamford  giving  herself  such  airs?  She  is  not  the 
head  of  the  profession,  and  never  will  be.     Lady 

is  the  head  of  our  profession!    Good  morning, 

gentlemen." 

A  friend  tells  me  that  she  looked  as  if  butter 
would  not  melt  in  her  mouth,  but  the  vocabulary 
she  used  on  the  occasion  was  surprising  to  those 
who  did  not  know  her  well,  or  who  had  not  seen 
her  displeased  before. 

I  have  gathered  that  "Skittles,"  the  leading  reme 
de  la  main  gauche  of  her  time,  was  very  pretty  and 
owned  a  beautiful  figure.  The  photographs  I  have 
seen  of  her  certainly  verify  this. 

How  the  name  of  "Skittles"  attached  itself  to  her 
I  do  not  know ;  there  have  been  several  versions  of 
the  story,  but  she  was  the  original  "Anonyma"  of 
the  "Belgravian  Mother's  Lament"  in  The  Times, 
which  in  course  of  time  expanded  into  a  social 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS         307 

phase.  These  society  mothers  wrote  to  one  paper 
deploring  the  "degrading  taste  of  the  jeunesse  dore 
of  the  period,"  noting  the  "disgusting  and  de- 
praved" way  they  thronged  at  the  park  raiUngs  to 
see  Anonyma  during  her  usual  parade  down  the 
Ladies'  Mile  with  some  of  her  beautiful  ponies, 
while  the  virtuous  daughters  of  Belgravia  stood 
neglected  in  the  background,  practically  wiped  out 
of  the  picture  by  the  popularity  of  the  London 
lassie. 

I  have  been  told,  but  with  what  truth  I  cannot 
say,  that  this  clever  little  woman  later  in  life  mar- 
ried one  of  her  long-suffering  and  deeply  attached 
swains,  who  had  been  in  attendance  for  some  years, 
but  that  they  separated  very  shortly  after  the  tying 
of  the  knot. 

Lady  Stamford  made  a  splendid  wife  and  was  a 
most  benevolent  woman.  After  her  husband's 
death  she  took  interest  in  horse-breeding  and  in 
selling  her  yearlings.  She  was  well-known  at  New- 
market and,  in  later  years,  often  seen  there,  still 
retaining  some  of  her  youthful  good  looks  with  the 
added  grace  of  a  sweet  and  good  expression  and 
lovely  snow-white  hair. 

The  poor  around  her  old  home  at  Enville  in 
Staffordshire  loved  her.  It  was  her  husband's 
favourite  place,  and  it  was  there  he  took  her  soon 
after  their  honeymoon. 

It  was  reported  after  Lord  Stamford's  death  that 
his  widow  was  about  to  marry  Robert  Peck,  the 
first  trainer  to  the  Duke  of  Westminster.     They 


3o8         FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

would  have  made  a  good-looking  couple,  but  per- 
haps it  was  only  one  of  Girton's  stories,  the  one- 
time valet  to  Mr.  Christopher  Sykes.  Before  he 
started  his  hotel  he  said  Robert  Peck  had  seriously 
contemplated  the  marriage  and  had  asked  him 
(Girton)  to  be  manager  of  their  household  affairs, 
adding  he  could  put  "Robert"  up  to  a  thing  or  two. 
This  I  can  quite  imagine.  I  have  always  been  under 
the  impression  that  his  servants  had  quite  as  much 
to  do  with  ruining  Mr.  Sykes  as  his  guests.  Every- 
thing was  carried  out  on  such  exceedingly  generous 
lines  and  so  many  dependants  filled  their  pockets 
while  Mr.  Sykes'  were  emptying. 

The  marriage  did  not  take  place,  however.  Gir- 
ton started  his  hotel — and  later  Mr.  Robert  Peck 
married  someone  else. 

Lady  Cardigan,  who  was  a  Miss  de  Horsey,  was 
certainly  a  highly  entertaining  woman,  but  owned 
the  most  bitter  tongue.  There  were,  of  course, 
reasons  why  she  felt  bitter,  but  that  is  an  old  story 
and  well  known.  When  she  was  entertaining  me 
with  astounding  racy  stories,  I  always  felt  I  had 
only  to  wait  long  enough  and  I  should  be  brought 
into  her  list.  The  moment  she  was  piqued  with 
anybody  she  appeared  to  remember  some  astonish- 
ing stories  about  them.  It  would  be  difficult  to 
make  a  list  of  any  length  of  well-known  people 
whose  names  she  left  in  peace.  Her  black  list 
ranged  from  our  royalties,  against  whom  she  was 
intensely  bitter,  to  Cardinal  Vaughan,  of  whom  she 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS  309 

said  some  very  pithy  but  very  naughty  things,  prob- 
ably children  of  her  own  imagination. 

Neither  Lady  Cardigan  nor  Lady  Stamford  v^rere 
ever  presented  at  Court.  The  former  w^as  going  to 
be  and  all  was  arranged  even  to  the  dress,  but  an 
order  was  issued  cancelling  the  introduction.  She 
felt  this  very  much  and  was  an  embittered  woman 
ever  after. 

Once  when  she  and  I  believe  "Skittles"  also, 
were  guests  at  a  special  dinner  given  by  some  mem- 
bers of  the  extra  smart  and  fast  set,  Lord  Cardigan, 
the  hero  of  Balaclava,  was  responding  to  the  toast 
of  his  health  and  making  some  reference  to  the 
Light  Brigade  charge  when  his  wife  placed  cannons 
to  the  right  of  them  and  cannons  to  the  left  of  them 
by  loudly  declaring  her  noble  lord  had  never  been 
in  the  charge  at  all.  However,  much  must  be  for- 
given a  woman  who  has  spoilt  her  own  life,  and  felt 
all  men's  hands  were  against  her.  Occasionally 
really  good  and  kind-hearted  folk,  when  hurt,  say 
things  they  do  not  mean. 

The  last  time  I  saw  Lady  Cardigan  she  must,  I 
think,  have  been  doing  the  "post-impressionist" 
business,  for  she  was  driving  down  Piccadilly  in 
orange  hair  and  an  emerald  green  coat. 

Mrs.  Postlethwaite  was  another  lady  of  consider- 
able notoriety  in  my  early  days.  She  was  very 
beautiful.  Every  shop  window  was  full  of  her 
pictures.  I  heard  men  rave  about  her.  Then  one 
fine  day  her  husband  unkindly  refused  to  pay  for 
her  lovely  clothes,  and  the  shock  turned  her  into  a 


3IO         FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

religious  enthusiast!  She  had  religious  meetings 
at  her  five  o'clock  teas  and  gave  **the  kiss  of  peace" 
to  her  old  friends,  Mr.  Gladstone  receiving  one  I 
know,  and  many  others  who  wished  to  share  her 
religious  enthusiasm.  Disraeli  and  Gladstone  were 
both  favourites  in  the  race  and  waxed  wrath  with 
one  another  over  her. 

I  feel  that  not  to  mention  these  ladies  who  played 
so  large  a  part  in  the  history  of  the  years  I  have 
lived  in  would  be  a  mistake.  No  one  is  all  good, 
no  one  all  bad,  and  all  these  women  were  undoubt- 
edly clever. 

"In  men  whom  men  condemn  as  ill 
I  find  so  much  of  goodness  still; 
In  men  whom  men  esteem  divine, 
I  find  so  much  of  sin  and  blot, 
I  hesitate  to  draw  the  line 
Between  two  men  when  God  does  not." 

Life  is  a  huge  puzzle,  but  each  piece  is  meant  to 
fit  into  its  place,  and  will  do  so  in  spite  of  all  our 
failings.  If  we  were  all  virtues  or  all  vices  we 
should  cease  to  be  interesting.  It  is  those  who  live 
in  spasms  between  the  two  that  interest  us  and  fire 
our  hearts. 

It  is  not  really  necessary  for  a  woman  to  be  beau- 
tiful to  be  attractive.  There  are  not  many  irretriev- 
ably plain  women.  It  rests  a  good  deal  with  them- 
selves. Antoine  Berrager,  the  French  Advocate, 
who  considered  himself  rather  a  judge,  said,  "There 
are  no  ugly  women,  only  there  are  women  who  do 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS         311 

not  know  how  to  look  pretty."  There  is  comfort  in 
the  thought!  Some  day  I  shall  have  to  write  an 
essay  on  "Voluntary  Ugliness"  when  I  have  time, 
for  a  happy  face  has  a  beauty  all  its  own. 

The  present-day  fashion  of  there  being  no  old 
ladies  is  rather  nice,  I  think.  They  no  longer  en- 
velop themselves  in  dowdy  black  cloaks  and  mantles 
with  bonnets  tied  under  their  chins.  Instead  of 
this,  we  find  them  with  their  bonny  grey  hair  nicely 
dressed  in  the  fashion  of  the  moment,  wearing 
smart  hats  with  wobbly  ospreys,  frisky  little  coats 
and  skirts  with  regiments  of  dear  little  buttons, 
pretty  shoes  and  big  buckles,  and  then  their  figures ! 
Is  it  that  they  have  renounced  the  good  things  of 
the  flesh-pots,  or  is  it  that  they  now  allow  their 
figures  to  be  natural,  I  wonder?  Whatever  it  is, 
it  is  pleasing. 

Some  stories  of  the  past  are  like  dear  old  songs 
to  be  softly  sung,  for  once  they  were  tender,  very 
tender,  and  now  are  fragile  with  age.  A  few  of 
these  are  to-day  drifting  through  my  memory 
and  making  me  feel  sad.  There  was  poor,  fragile, 
witty  and  emotional  Mrs.  Grant  of  Glenmoriston, 
whom  I  remember  as  Miss  Davidson,  dancing  at 
Inverness  during  the  gaieties  of  the  "Northern 
Meeting"  in  1886  or  1887,  just  before  she  was  mar- 
ried. She  and  her  husband  were  utterly  unsuited 
to  one  another,  but  she  was  not  very  happy  at  home, 
she  told  me,  although  "my  man  is  fond  of  me  and 
says  I  may  have  my  own  way  in  everything."    But 


312         FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

that  was  not  all  she  wanted  and  did  not  satisfy 
her. 

One  day  what  I  feared  would  happen  came  to 
pass.  She  came  in  to  see  me  and  told  me  that  the 
man  she  loved  so  dearly  was  to  be  made  happy,  she 
was  going  to  rmi  away  with  him,  and  she  did.  Her 
husband  behaved  splendidly  and  followed  her  to 
Paris  to  try  and  persuade  her  to  return  to  him,  but 
it  was  no  use.  She  asked  him  to  set  her  free,  and 
he  did.  The  moment  it  was  possible,  her  lover 
married  her  on  June  26th,  1894,  and  she  died  on 
July  22nd  the  same  year,  pitifully  short-lived  hap- 
piness after  the  long  struggle  with  herself  as  to 
whether  she  would  or  would  not,  could  or  could  not. 
How  true  it  is  that  we  all  have  to  suffer  for  our 
mistakes  and  pay  for  our  happiness  in  this  world, 
and  yet  what  do  I  mean  by  this  world?  There  are 
so  many;  we  all  create  our  own. 

The  little  blind  god  *'love"  plays  very  cruel  tricks 
with  us,  and  in  charity  we  must  all  bear  in  mind : 

"And  to  love  or  not,  we  are  no  more  free 
Than  a  ripple  to  rise  and  leave  the  sea." 

It  is  only  when  our  nerve  cells  are  acting  in  unity 
that  we  are  really  sane  and  at  our  best. 

I  have  a  huge  pity  for  those  who  lose  the  loves 
of  their  life,  whether  the  world  has  approved  or 
disapproved,  for  it  is  a  time  when  life  stands  sus- 
pended and  motionless. 

I  saw  a  good  deal  of  the  third  Duke  of  Suther- 
land's first  wife,  who  was  a  favourite  of  Queen 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS         313 

Victoria's;  her  last  years  were  unhappy.  There 
was  some  scandal  about  her  husband's  affections 
for  Mrs.  Blair,  who  became  his  second  wife. 

The  Duchess  used  to  be  a  good  deal  in  Torquay, 
and  was  a  regular  attendant  at  St.  Mary's  Church, 
and  was  usually  dressed  in  white.  Queen  Victoria 
never  forgave  the  Duke  for  not  coming  back  from 
America  to  his  wife  when  she  was  dying.  She  was 
very  High  Church,  and  the  Duke's  sympathies  did 
not  lie  in  that  direction,  which  caused  a  good  deal 
of  unhappiness.  The  Duke  was  deeply  attached  to 
his  second  wife,  and  when  he  died  left  her  a  mil- 
lion pounds  sterling.  She  later  spent  six  months  in 
Holloway  jail  for  contempt  of  Court,  Sir  Francis 
Jeune  having  ordered  her  to  destroy  certain  letters, 
if  I  remember  correctly,  which  she  declined  to  do. 

Colonel  Milman  was  governor  of  the  prison  at 
the  time,  and  he  said  he  much  disliked  having  first 
class  misdemeanants  under  his  care,  who  arrived  in 
their  own  carriages  and  furnished  their  own  apart- 
ments from  Maples  as  did  the  Duchess.  Mr.  Yates, 
of  The  World,  was  also  there  for  libel,  and  Lord 
Russell  for  bigamy,  so  he  had  a  dose  of  his  pet 
aversions. 

I  have  observed  that  a  man  who  is  not  happily 
married  generally  lets  the  world  know  all  about  it 
and  craves  sympathy.  A  woman  more  often  ex- 
cuses what  she  cannot  justify,  and  keeps  silence 
over  what  she  cannot  cover  or  forgive.  Poor  Mrs. 
Carlyle  was  an  illustration;  she  tried  to  justify  her 
husband  to  his  critics. 


314         FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

How  little  we  really  know  of  the  minds  of  even 
our  most  intimate  friends,  though  their  faces  are 
photographed  on  our  brains,  until  we  read  their 
writing,  then  we  discover  we  have  only  known  the 
garments  in  which  they  clothed  themselves,  the  rest 
has  been  a  sealed  book.  This  was  brought  home 
to  me  particularly  when  I  read  Flora  Annie  Steel's 
first  book.  When  I  knew  her  in  India  I  never 
dreamed  she  was  a  thinker  and  so  deeply  interested 
in  the  lives  of  the  people  of  the  country,  as  her 
books  have  proved  her  to  be.  When  she  came  to  see 
me  in  town  on  our  return  to  England  and  told  me 
she  was  writing  a  book,  I  did  not  feel  deeply  inter- 
ested and  said,  *'How  clever  of  you,"  or  something 
insipid  like  that,  and  when  I  read  the  book  I  realised 
how  very  little  I  had  really  known  her.  But  even 
then  I  should  never  have  guessed  she  would  be  a 
sufifragette  of  the  militant  brand. 

Mrs.  Reeves  (Helen  Mathers)  is  more  like  her 
writing,  or  I  should  say  that  her  writing  is  more 
like  her.  She  is  very  bright,  clever  and  amusing,  a 
thorough  woman  of  the  world,  and  enjoys  every- 
thing which  one  gathers  to  a  certain  extent  from 
her  writing. 

Lately  I  have  come  to  the  conclusion  there  are  a 
number  of  people  who  cannot  spell.  I  am  not  very 
brilliant  in  that  line  myself,  so  must  speak  circum- 
spectly. In  the  days  of  spelling-bees  my  sister  left 
me  hopelessly  in  the  lurch.  But  I  am  not  quite  so 
bad  as  some  of  my  friends.  An  Oxford  young  man, 
now  in  the  army,  writing  to  me  a  short  time  ago 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS         315 

explaining  his  financial  difficulties,  said,  *'And  God 
only  nose  what  I  shall  do  next."  After  reading 
that  I  thought  there  might  be  some  truth  in  the 
statement. 

Another  young  man  of  my  acquaintance  who  is 
perhaps  not  blessed  with  a  superabundance  of  brains 
had  some  papers  to  fill,  in  connection  with  military 
work.  He  made  such  a  jumble  of  it  that  another 
document  was  sent  to  him  saying,  will  you  please 
simply  answ^er  the  following  questions,  ''Yes"  or 
"no."  Then  followed  the  list.  The  answers  that 
were  in  the  affirmative  he  answered  thus: 

"Yess." 

"Yess." 

I  should  have  felt  sorry  for  him  if  he  had  felt  in 
any  way  depressed  at  his  lack  of  orthography,  but 
it  troubled  him  not  at  all.  He  was  of  a  happy  na- 
ture and  a  great  big  over-grown-schoolboy  sort  of 
man  who  apparently  enjoyed  every  minute  of  his 
life,  and  such  trifles  as  spelling  were  not  going  to 
upset  him.  But  he  will  spell  no  more.  He  has  been 
swallowed  up  in  this  Armageddon,  and  now  if  he 
could  only  write  and  say  he  was  well  and  happy,  if 
every  word  was  misspelt  I  would  never  even  tell 
him  of  it. 

The  knowledge  of  etiquette  requires  even  more 
careful  mastering  than  spelling  and  takes  a  lifetime 
to  learn.  To  begin  with,  every  Court  has  its  own 
etiquette,  and  the  arranging  of  who  is  to  sit  next 
who,  and  which  has  to  take  in  which,  when  you  have 
a  few  foreign  royalties  mixed  up  with  English  ones, 


3i6         FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

and  a  sprinkling  of  native  princes  and  their  wives 
to  arrange  in  proper  precedence,  is  apt  to  lead  to 
serious  attacks  of  neuralgia. 

An  American  millionaire's  wife,  who  was  renting 
a  beautiful  villa  on  the  shores  of  the  tideless  Medi- 
terranean, settled  the  question  of  precedence  rather 
neatly  at  one  of  her  parties.  She  was  not  very  well 
versed  in  the  ways  of  society,  and  sent  all  the  ladies 
in  to  dinner  according  to  their  ages.  There  were 
four  baronets'  wives  amongst  others.  Two  of  the 
husbands  were  Nova  Scotia  baronets,  while  the 
other  two  held  titles  from  the  time  of  King  James. 
None  of  these  good  people  were  able  to  enjoy  their 
dinner  or  be  agreeable  under  such  circumstances. 

It  is  hard  to  remember  everybody's  little  preju- 
dices ;  not  to  talk  of  beer  when  dining  with  brewers, 
to  adapt  one's  speech  so  as  not  to  hurt  the  suscepti- 
bilities of  those  we  employ  and  so  on. 

For  instance,  it  is  an  insult  to  ask  a  man  or  a  maid 
at  a  servants'  party  if  their  programme  is  full, 
especially  if  it  happens  to  be  before  supper.  They 
hasten  to  tell  you  that  they  have  had  nothing  but 
lemonade  and  a  sandwich. 

The  wife  of  a  well-known  peer  had  been  giving 
a  servants'  ball,  and  the  following  day  when  attend- 
ing to  household  matters  came  across  the  kitchen- 
maid  and  said  to  her: 

*T  hope,  Margaret,  that  you  enjoyed  yourself  last 
night?" 

"No,  my  lady,  I  was  very  much  upset." 

"I  am  sorry  to  hear  that.    What  was  the  cause?" 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS         317 

"His  lordship  asked  me  to  dance,  and  I  was  en- 
gaged to  Mr.  Jones  (the  valet)." 

*'0|?  well,  I  hope  you  enjoyed  your  supper." 

"Yes,  my  lady,  thank  you.  I  had  salmon,  turkey, 
tipsy  cake  and  wine." 

"That's  right ;  you  had  a  good  stomach  full !" 

"I  know  what  you  mean  my  lady,  but  I  {in  in- 
jured tones)  never  heard  it  called  that  before!" 

It  is  difficult  to  please  some  people. 

Mr.  Evelyn  Burnaby,  brother  of  my  old  friend, 
Colonel  Fred  Burnaby,  was  once  staying  with  Lady 
William  Graham,  and  was  asked  to  take  Mrs.  White 
Melville  in  to  dinner.  He  found  she  had  little  in 
common  with  her  distinguished  and  popular  hus- 
band. Nevertheless,  after  trying  a  variety  of  sub- 
jects they  got  on  famously.  After  dinner  Lady 
William  asked  him  how  he  had  got  on  with  Mrs. 
White  Melville,  as  many  people  found  her  difficult 
to  talk  to,  saying,  "What  had  you  in  common?" 
"Flatulence,"  he  replied  briefly,  "and  I  prescribed 
peppermint!" 

Mr.  Burnaby  agrees  with  White  Melville  in  that 
we  shall  meet  again  the  animals  who  have  been  our 
faithful  companions  here. 

I  was  at  a  large  garden  party  just  before  the  war 
broke  out.  The  host  is  a  dear  old  man  of  over  three 
score  years  and  ten,  and  very  short-sighted.  He 
was  shaking  hands  with  us  all  as  we  entered  and 
trying  to  say  something  kind  to  everyone.  When  it 
came  to  my  turn  to  be  greeted  he  said  in  a  cheerful 
voice,  "Oh  how  do  you  do,  so  pleased  to  see  you, 


3i8         FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

and  how  are  all  the  little  ones."  This  somewhat 
upset  my  friends  behind  me,  who  knew  my  little 
one  was  six  feet  three  inches,  but  I  was  not  going  to 
upset  the  dear  old  man,  so  passed  on,  replying, 
"They  are  wonderfully  well  considering  they  are 
teething." 

I  was  abused  later  by  the  friends,  who  were  com- 
ing on  just  behind  me,  as  they  said  I  had  so  upset 
their  equanimity  by  my  nonsense  that  they  had 
laughed  in  our  host's  face,  he,  of  course,  having  no 
idea  of  the  joke. 

I  was  once  asked  by  an  old  friend,  who  had  seen 
fit  to  marry  his  housekeeper,  and  who  wished  to 
introduce  her  to  society  by  giving  a  ball  if  I  would 
"See  him  through."  I  said  with  pleasure,  but 
would  have  nothing  to  do  with  the  sending  out  of 
the  invitations.  He  must  take  that  responsibility 
upon  his  own  shoulders.  I  would  do  my  best  with 
the  rest.  That  party  will  remain  in  my  memory  to 
the  end  of  my  days.  My  difficulties  began  when  I 
was  asked  to  supervise  his  wife's  dress  for  the  oc- 
casion. He  had  presented  her  with  some  beautiful 
diamonds,  all  of  which  she  was  going  to  wear.  So 
far  so  good,  but  she  said  she  must  wear  her  gold 
chain  round  her  neck  as  well,  with  the  locket  sur- 
rounded by  her  mother's  hair.  I  had  to  give  in,  her 
disappointment  was  so  great  at  being  deprived  of  it. 
Then,  in  addition  to  this  ornament,  amongst  her 
diamonds  she  insisted  on  wearing  in  the  middle  of 
her  ample  bosom  a  brooch  resembling  the  top  of  a 
sardine  tin. 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS         319 

Neither  the  host  nor  hostess  had  the  least  idea 
of  catering  for  a  number,  and  were  horrified  at  my 
extravagance.  Now  I  always  rather  pride  myself 
on  my  powers  in  this  direction,  having  been  doing  it 
more  or  less  all  my  life.  I  knew  I  had  allowed 
enough,  but  not  more  than  was  wise.  My  feelings 
can  better  be  imagined  than  described  when  in  the 
middle  of  the  evening  the  host  came  and  told  me  in 
agitated  voice  that  the  champagne  had  come  to  an 
end,  and  that  there  was  quite  a  shortage  of  pro- 
visions. I  could  not  believe  what  I  was  told,  for  I 
had  viewed  the  supper-table  before  I  went  to  dress, 
and  it  was  laden  with  good  things. 

I  hastily  dispatched  urgent  messages  to  the  near- 
est hotel  to  bring  more  champagne,  and  then  went 
to  make  enquiries  into  the  matter.  I  did  not  quite 
understand  the  butler's  manner  and  was  coming  to 
the  conclusion  he  had  something  to  do  with  the 
shortage,  when  I  saw  one  of  his  understudies  burst- 
ing with  laughter  trying  to  hide  himself  behind  a 
door.  I  then  became  firm,  and  it  appeared  that 
while  I  was  resting  before  the  great  event,  ex- 
hausted by  the  many  arguments  I  had  to  have  over 
the  arrangements,  the  lady  of  the  house,  shocked 
at  what  she  considered  my  extravagance,  had  moved 
various  dishes,  as  well  as  a  number  of  bottles  of 
champagne,  and  hidden  them;  she  had  been  hard 
at  work  at  it  for  about  an  hour. 

I  felt  really  angry. 


CHAPTER  XVII 

General  Macbean  and  His  Royal  Playmates — A  Sporting 
Essex  Baronet  and  a  Neighbouring  Peer — A  Difference 
of  Opinion — Uninvited  Wedding  Guests — Shopping  Un- 
der Difficulties — Mr.  Graham  Gilmour — Some  of  His 
Prophecies — How  they  were  Fulfilled — In  Trouble  with 
the  Aero  Club — ^A  Qergyman's  Curious  Attitude — A 
Fatal  Accident — Trophy-laden  Officers — Women  Chauf- 
feurines — Their  Work,  Food,  and  Some  Experiences — 
A  Changed  World — H.H.  Prince  Alexis  Dolgorouki  and 
His  Bride — A  Dolgorouki  for  the  Russian  Throne — 
Prince  Charlie  at  Braemar  Castle. 

THE  present  General  Forbes  Macbean,  late 
92nd  Gordon  Highlanders,  was  a  playmate 
of  mine  when  a  child.  We  used  to  save  up 
our  money  and  send  beautiful  valentines  to  one  an- 
other. 

The  General's  father  had,  likewise,  been  in  the 
92nd  and  commanded  it,  but  latterly  he  spent  a 
great  deal  of  time  at  Darmstadt  with  his  family. 
Princess  Alice  being  kind  to  and  fond  of  them  all. 
Thus  it  came  about  that  my  old  friend,  the  present 
General,  used  to  spend  some  of  his  holidays  in 
Germany,  his  playmates  being  the  Royal  children. 

A  short  time  ago  I  wanted  a  photograph  of  the 
ex-Tsarina  when  she  was  a  child,  and  asked  General 
Macbean  if  he  would  lend  me  one  of  his.    He  re- 

320 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS         321 

plied,  "They  have  all  found  their  way  into  the  waste- 
paper  basket  long  ago !"  I  suppose  that  represents 
the  feeling  of  us  all  just  now,  and  I  think  this  war 
is  making  us  all  rather  irritable. 

A  certain  well-known  sporting  baronet  who 
speaks  his  mind  straight,  hits  straight,  and  plays 
the  game  fairly  and  squarely,  has  been  feeling  an- 
noyed for  some  time  with  a  peer  owning  land  in 
the  same  country.  He  considers  that  his  neighbour 
shirked  his  duty  during  the  South  African  War 
and  is  doing  the  same  now.  He  therefore  ex- 
plained his  views  to  the  peer  by  letter,  stating  plain- 
ly he  considered  him  "untruthful  and  a  shirker." 
No  notice  was  taken  of  this  letter,  so  the  peer  was 
asked  if  he  was  going  to  take  any  notice  of  the  in- 
sult. The  answer  was,  "No."  He  was  then  asked 
if  he  would  give  satisfaction  to  the  baronet.  Again 
he  declined.  It  so  happened  that  in  the  middle  of 
these  delicate  proceedings  the  peer  married,  not  long 
ago,  and  the  baronet  sent  him  a  wedding  present 
of  a  white  feather  done  up  in  cotton-wool  and  on 
his  visiting-card  wrote,  "To  Lord  .  .  .  liar,  shirker 
and  coward,  a  disgrace  to  the  House  of  Lords  and 
to  Knighthood." 

Still  no  notice  was  taken. 

Since  then  another  letter  has  been  dispatched  ex- 
plaining still  more  fully  the  baronet's  feelings, 
winding  up  with,  "You  appear  to  have  commenced 
life  as  a  cry  baby,  and  now  you  have  arrived  at 
man's  estate  you  do  not  seem  to  have  improved. 
Show  this  letter  to  your  brother  officers  if  you  dare, 


322         FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

you  lying  cur."    Rather  plain  speaking!    I  wonder 
what  will  happen! 

Writing  of  weddings  reminds  me  that  my  French 
dressmaker  some  years  ago  told  me  she  attended 
most  of  the  big  weddings  and  receptions  in  London. 
I  said  I  supposed  her  customers  sent  her  invita- 
tions, and  how  kind  and  thoughtful  of  them.  She 
replied,  "Oh,  no,  they  do  not  often  do  that,  but  I 
like  to  go  and  see  the  dresses.  I  just  give  my  card 
and  walk  in.  It  only  wants  a  little  assurance,  no- 
body ever  makes  a  fuss."  On  the  contrary  I  gath- 
ered that  gentlemen  were  very  kind  to  her,  gave  her 
champagne  and  good  things  to  eat  as  well  as  show- 
ing her  the  presents,  in  fact  she  had  a  good  time 
generally.  Perhaps  bemg  a  smart  bright  little 
woman  had  something  to  do  with  this.  She  spoke 
broken  English  very  prettily. 

That  anybody  should  be  able  to  walk  into  our 
houses  in  that  way  without  the  least  difficulty  ex- 
plained certain  happenings  that  had  puzzled  me. 
My  dressmaker  was  a  superior  body  and  quite  above 
suspicion  in  the  way  of  honesty,  but  if  one  person 
can  do  things  of  that  kind  without  question,  others 
can,  and  no  doubt  that  is  what  happened  at  Sir 
John  Ardagh's  wadding  when  some  of  the  presents 
disappeared.  It  is  rather  wonderful  people  are  as 
honest  as  they  usually  are  considering  what  oppor- 
tunities they  have. 

I  remember  an  experience  of  my  own  once  at 
Gorringes  in  Buckingham  Palace  Road  during  the 
summer  sale.     I  had  come  up  from  Brighton  for 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS         323 

the  day,  and  was  trying  to  buy  a  soft  washing  hat 
for  my  baby  before  catching  the  return  train.  I 
could  find  nobody  to  attend  to  me  so  wandered 
about,  opened  drawers,  turned  over  the  things  until 
I  came  upon  what  I  wanted.  I  then  held  it  out  to 
first  one  and  then  another  saying  I  wished  to  buy 
it,  would  they  be  good  enough  to  make  out  a  bill 
tell  me  the  cost  or  do  something  in  the  matter,  but, 
no,  they  all  pushed  past  me  saying  "Serving!" 
Growing  weary  of  rebuff  upstairs,  I  wandered  down 
with  the  hat  on  my  arm  suspended  by  its  strings. 
Here  I  met  a  shopwalker  and  tried  to  explain  the 
case,  but  was  told  he  was  too  busy  to  attend  to  me. 

Finally  in  despair  I  walked  out  of  the  shop  into 
Victoria  Station  and  by  train  to  Brighton  with  the 
hat  in  my  hand  entirely  innocent  of  any  paper  or 
wrappings.  Next  day  I  sent  the  ticket,  covered 
with  shop  hieroglyphics,  from  off  the  hat,  by  post, 
to  Gorringe  explaining  what  had  happened.  I  re- 
ceived a  polite  reply  and  the  bill  which  was  settled 
by  return,  and  all  was  well.  If  I  could  walk  awaj 
with  a  hat  swinging  on  my  arm  what  could  other 
people  have  done  if  so  inclined? 

One  Christmas  much  the  same  sort  of  thing  oc- 
curred at  Harrods.  The  attendants  were  over- 
taxed by  the  crush  of  people,  and  weary,  I  could  get 
no  one  to  attend  to  me,  so  picked  up  the  book  I 
wanted  in  that  department,  also  a  basket  of  pears 
from  the  fruit  stall  and  walked  away  with  both 
held  protestingly  in  my  hands,  keeping  a  roving 
eye  on  the  lookout  to  catch  any  unhunted  assistant. 


324         FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

I  had  arrived  at  the  door  when  I  caught  the  eye  of 
a  "walker"  whom  I  had  known  for  many  years.  I 
explained  the  circumstances  to  him,  he  kindly  gal- 
loped off,  had  the  things  done  up,  and  returned  in 
a  surprisingly  short  time,  saying,  "That  is  all  right, 
thank  you,  madam."  Had  I  not  come  across  my 
old  friend  I  should  have  had  to  repeat  my  Gorringe 
experience. 

All  these  things  happened  before  the  war.  Of 
course,  now  we  put  up  with  inconvenience  in  every 
form  without  a  murmur,  though  the  inefficiency  of 
some  of  the  people  who  have  been  pressed  into  the 
service  of  even  the  most  superior  emporiums,  is 
highly  trying.  I  find  the  best  chance  is  to  do  one's 
business  through  the  post. 

The  present  time  air-raids  and  bombing  recalls 
to  my  mind  a  prophecy  of  poor  Mr.  Graham  Gil- 
mour,  the  man  whose  name  will  go  down  to  posterity 
as  the  first  to  fly  an  aeroplane  over  London,  and 
who  met  his  death  on  February  17th,  191 2,  as  near- 
ly as  I  can  remember.  He  had  been  to  a  dance  in 
our  house  shortly  before  the  accident  and  when  say- 
ing "Good-bye"  with  the  usual  pretty  things  about 
having  had  a  good  time,  I  told  him  he  must  be  sure 
and  come  to  my  next  dance.  With  a  grip  of  my 
hand  and  a  cheery  laugh  he  said,  "Thank  you, 
I  should  love  it,  but  I  shall  be  smashed  up  long  be- 
fore then." 

All  too  swiftly  his  prophecy  came  true.  Other 
prophecies  of  his,  related  and  explained  to  me  in 
1912,  have  come  true.     At  that  time  flying  was 


Mr.  Graham  Gilmour 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS         325 

still  looked  upon  more  or  less  by  the  Government  as 
"flying  in  the  face  of  Providence"  and  met  with 
scanty  encouragement.  Mr.  Gilmour  told  me  he  so 
earnestly  wished  he  could  impress  upon  the  author- 
ities the  great  importance  of  aviation  as  recognised 
by  the  French  and  Germans.  He  had  been  laughed 
at  when  he  explained  he  knew  as  a  matter  of  fact 
that  the  Germans  had  already  made  their  plans, 
prepared  for  the  moment  when  hostilities  should 
commence. 

Mr.  Graham  Gilmour  told  me  almost  word  for 
word  what  had  been  arranged  and  would  happen, 
exactly  as  it  has  done,  the  number  of  Zeppelins  it 
had  been  arranged  to  send  over  from  Germany  at  a 
time,  their  engine  and  horse  power,  and  bomb 
carrying  facilities.  He  predicted  they  would  have 
to  be  abandoned  in  favour  of  more  suitable  ma- 
chines, and  many  other  details  I  had  better  not 
mention.  He  also  told  me  the  three  centres  that 
they  would  chiefly,  and  firstly,  aim  at.  Every  word 
has  proved  true.  The  three  centres  he  mentioned 
have  now  been  brought  to  the  notice  of  the  authori- 
ties though  rather  late  in  the  day. 

He  was  an  enthusiastic  admirer  of  Sir  George 
White,  the  first  baronet,  of  Bristol,  who  established 
the  earliest  manufactory  of  aeroplanes  in  England, 
and  introduced  the  Bristol  biplanes  and  monoplanes 
in  19 10,  encouraged  only  by  patriotism  and  busi- 
ness acumen,  being  thwarted  often  in  his  endeavours 
to  be  "fore-armed." 

Mr.  Gilmour  worked  for  some  time  as  pilot  in- 


326         FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

structor  in  Sir  George  White's  Bristol  Company, 
and  told  me  he  regarded  Sir  George  as  the  most 
patriotic  and  best  business  man  of  the  day. 

I  was  one  day  talking  to  my  friend  about  the 
risks  he  ran  when  flying;  he  said  he  was  perfectly 
aware  that  he  carried  his  life  in  his  hands  every 
time  he  went  up,  but  death  was  not  a  thing  he 
dreaded,  and  he  hoped  when  his  time  came  nobody 
would  wear  black,  he  would  like  all  who  cared  for 
him  to  wear  red,  purple  and  yellow  or  some  cheer- 
ful colours.  I  noticed  whenever  he  mounted  his 
machine  a  sort  of  nervousness  in  his  movements, 
and  yet  that  does  not  truly  describe  what  I  mean. 
It  was  more  the  look  and  movements  of  the  highly 
strung.  A  sort  of,  "I  am  wound  up  and  ready  to 
meet  my  fate"  attitude. 

He  had  expressed  a  wish  that  when  the  smash 
came  he  felt  so  certain  was  coming,  that  the  ma- 
chine he  was  using  at  the  time  should  be  copied  in 
model  on  his  tombstone  with  a  brief  notice  saying 
how  he  met  his  death. 

This  was  being  arranged  when  I  received  a  letter 
telling  me  the  clergyman  of  the  parish  objected  to 
anything  of  the  kind  in  his  churchyard.  It  seems 
incredible,  small  wonder  the  clergy  have  lost  their 
hold  on  the  people. 

One  of  the  heads  of  the  aviation  department,  no, 
I  don't  mean  that,  I  mean  one  of  the  really  learned 
men  in  the  practice  and  science  of  flying,  who  from 
A  to  Z  knew  the  art  of  building  and  piloting  all 
the  chief  machines  of  the  day,  recently  told  me  he 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS         327 

considered  Mr.  Douglas  Graham  Gilmour's  efforts 
had  materially  and  prominently  raised  British  avia- 
tion to  its  present  position;  adding,  "His  name  must 
ever  figure  in  the  early  front  ranks.  As  a  pilot  he 
was  invaluable  and  in  the  educational  work  Gil- 
mour  played  a  part  second  to  none,  his  services  have 
been  of  inestimable  value  in  the  advance  of  the 
great  cause." 

I  have  heard  Mr.  Gilmour's  flying  criticised  on 
the  score  of  undue  recklessness.  Certainly  a  han- 
kering after  the  sensational  was  one  of  his  charac- 
teristics, but  it  never  to  my  knowledge  merged  into 
the  foolhardy.  It  was  exactly  this  spectacular  ele- 
ment in  his  piloting  that  was  the  compelling  attrac- 
tion to  the  people. 

He  was  born  at  Dartford  in  1885,  and  educated 
at  Clifton.  At  an  early  age  he  became  interested 
in  the  automobile  industry,  gaining  a  name  for  him- 
self as  a  driver  of  racing  cars  and  motor-cycles. 
In  January,  19 10,  he  went  to  Pau,  where  he  joined 
the  Bleriot  school,  gained  his  pilot's  certificate  num- 
ber seventy-five,  issued  by  the  Aero  Club  of  France, 
with  exceptional  facility  on  April  19th  of  that  year. 

On  his  return  to  England  his  first  flight  was 
nearly  his  last,  for  the  tail  of  his  Anzani-engined 
Bleriot  when  flying  at  Brooklands  grazed  a  tele- 
graph wire  which  brought  the  machine  headlong 
to  earth. 

Happily  he  escaped  almost  uninjured.  He  gave 
me  a  piece  of  the  wrecked  machine  and  showed  me 


328         FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

the  map  that  was  strapped  on  to  his  knees  when 
the  accident  befell  him. 

Several  successful  and  some  sensational  flights 
were  brought  off  after  this.  It  was  after  he  had 
joined  the  Bristol  Company  and  was  flying  one  of 
their  machines  that  he  skimmed  the  Regatta  Course 
at  Henley,  which  led  to  an  enquiry  by  the  Royal 
Aero  Club  and  to  the  suspension  of  his  certificate 
for  a  month.  An  unfortunate  controversy  followed 
which  need  not  be  raked  up  again. 

Death  came  to  him  when  trying  a  machine.  He 
left  Brooklands  at  11:30  that  fateful  Saturday 
morning  saying  he  would  be  back  in  an  hour,  which 
looked  as  if  he  did  not  mean  to  go  far,  yet  he  had 
reached  Richmond  and  the  river  when  his  machine 
was  seen  to  be  descending  into  the  Old  Deer  Park. 
Rapidly  the  descent  became  excessively  steep  and 
ended  in  a  vertical  dive. 

The  monoplane  struck  the  ground  full  on  its  nose 
and  turned  completely  over. 

What  caused  the  accident  is  still  a  mystery;  I 
am  by  no  means  sure  in  my  own  mind  that  he  did 
not  turn  faint,  he  had  complained  once  or  twice  of 
having  felt  queer  when  at  certain  altitudes.  Others 
think  he  was  caught  in  an  eddy  resulting  in  one 
wing  giving  way,  but  no  one  really  knows.  The 
accident  robbed  the  country  of  one  of  its  most  bril- 
liant and  promising  pilots.  He  loved  his  profes- 
sion and  was  always  cheery.  Many  mourned  him 
sincerely. 

Had  he  lived  to  see  his  German  and  aviation 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS         329 

prophecies  come  true,  he  would  without  doubt  have 
been  holding  now  some  post  of  importance.  He 
was  very  practical,  a  fatalist,  and  possessed  that 
most  valuable  asset,  a  mathematical  mind.  He 
thoroughly  appreciated  the  value  of  the  "pilot's" 
work.  It  is  the  pilot,  and  the  pilot  alone  who  has 
brought  home  to  the  great  public  the  possibilities 
of  aviation  and  given  some  insight  into  its  im- 
measurable future.  In  fact  the  general  public  opin- 
ion to-day,  so  far  as  aviation  is  concerned,  is  far 
in  advance  of  what  we  are  pleased  to  call  official 
opinion,  as  exemplified  in  high  government  places. 

"Those  whom  the  Gods  love  die  young,"  is  an 
old  proverb  that  has  come  back  to  my  mind  very 
many  times  during  the  last  few  years. 

Some  may  think  this  applies  only  to  innocent  little 
children  who  leave  us  before  the  world  has  stained 
their  garments.  I  lean  to  a  different  rendering, 
may  it  not  be  those  whose  hearts  are  young;  there 
are  some  who  never  grow  old  no  matter  the  years 
that  have  passed  over  their  heads. 

What  a  sight  it  is  now  to  see  the  boat  trains  come 
in,  such  a  mixture  of  tears  and  laughter,  "By-your- 
leave  please,"  chatter  and  fuss. 

The  number  of  trophy-laden  warriors  amuse  me, 
carrying  scalps,  I  was  going  to  say,  but  I  mean  hel- 
mets, weapons  and  German  et  ceteras. 

A  big  six-foot-three  relation  of  mine,  coming 
home  from  the  front  a  while  ago,  who  disliked 
carrying  about  dead  men's  paraphernalia,  was  con- 
gratulating himself  on  not  being  burdened  as  some 


330         FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

of  his  brother  officers  were  with  all  these  things,  and 
wondering  if  the  joy  of  them  was  worth  the  worry 
they  were  causing  their  bearers,  my  relation  having 
brought  home  with  him  nothing  but  one  historic 
button  and  ruined  health. 

When  he  arrived  at  Victoria  Station  he  stepped 
out  feeling  very  pleased  with  himself  at  not  hav- 
ing to  wrestle  with  helmets,  rifles,  gas-helmets  and 
heaven  knows  what  besides,  when  a  man  rushed  up 
to  him  threw  an  armful  or  two  of  his  trophies  at 
him  saying,  "Hold  this  a  minute  for  me  like  a  good 
chap,"  and  disappeared  to  greet  relations  and  hunt 
up  luggage. 

Here  was  drama,  here  was  tragedy,  the  very 
thing  he  had  avoided  thrust  upon  him,  nothing  was 
going  to  persuade  him  to  walk  about  laden  with  the 
things,  he  could  not  well  "chuck  them  down" 
which  was  his  inclination,  he  waited  awhile  but  not 
then  seeing  the  rightful  owner,  he  charged  up  to 
another  man  who  unfortunately  for  him  had  empty 
arms  and  thrust  them  all  on  him  saying,  "Hold 
them  a  minute  will  you  like  a  good  chap,"  and  hast- 
ily decamped,  hoping  the  things  might  in  time  be 
claimed  and  the  second  victim  relieved. 

I  have  a  number  of  friends,  widows,  wives  and 
bachelor-women,  out  at  the  front  driving  cars  and 
ambulances.  The  Marquise  de  Belleroche  writing  a 
short  time  ago  gave  an  amusing  though  pitiful  ac- 
count of  some  of  her  work.  She  is  a  bonny,  slight, 
small  woman  who  used  to  drive  her  own  cars  over 
here  before  the  war,  and  is  quite  an  experienced 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS         331 

aeronaut.  She  said,  for  herself  she  did  not  mind 
wading  about  in  seas  of  mud  that  came  up  with  the 
wind  Hke  waves  on  the  seashore,  but  was  sorry  for 
the  wounded  she  was  driving  when  for  hours  she 
was  held  up  lying  on  her  back  in  the  mud  under  the 
car  trying  to  repair  the  damage  caused  during  its 
passage  through  a  shell-hole  big  enough  to  bury 
the  lot  of  them. 

There  is  a  good  deal  of  excitement  attached  to  it 
all.  Another  friend  writes  to  me  saying  she  has 
been  driving  a  full-blown  General  full  speed  some- 
where, anothe;-  day  a  heavy  ambulance  waggon 
laden  with  men  to  be  most  carefully  driven  to  save 
them  pain. 

The  bachelor-women  of  to-day  are  having  a  good 
time,  being  useful,  occupied,  and  experiencing  prob- 
ably fewer  of  the  pin-pricks  so  disconcerting  to  most 
of  us. 

It  is  a  very  true  old  saying  that  we  cannot  walk 
with  the  procession  and  look  out  of  the  window. 
It  has  fallen  to  my  lot  lately  to  look  out  of  the 
window,  and  I  see  an  entirely  new  world,  an  upside- 
down  and  topsy-turveydom.  world,  in  consequence 
of  the  war.  I  do  not  think  some  of  the  tremendous 
consequences  are  fully  realised  yet.  The  very 
foundations  of  the  old  social  fabric  are  being 
shaken.  No  one  who  has  been  in  a  position  to 
watch  what  is  going  on  can  fail  to  see  that  there 
has  been  a  great  social  upheaval. 

Restraint  and  discretion  have  been  thrown  to  the 
winds  in  the  face  of  the  tremendous  sacrifices  de- 


332         FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

manded  of  us  daily  and  hourly.  Yet  it  is  not  sur- 
prising when  people  who  love  one  another  are  con- 
stantly being  parted  with  the  unspoken  though 
ever-present  knowledge  that  the  chances  are  ten  to 
one  they  will  ever  meet  again. 

It  would  be  strange  if  the  great  stresses  of  the 
w^ar  had  not  affected  the  structure  of  convention 
which  seemed  so  solid  but  is  in  truth  so  fragile.  We 
must  recognise  everything  is  changed  and  the  world 
will  never  be  the  same  again.  We  say  to  ourselves 
to-day  is  ours,  who  knows  what  the  morrow  will 
bring We  mill  live  to-day 

As  I  look  back  at  the  faces  I  remember  in  July, 
1914,  and  again  at  the  same  faces  to-day,  I  realise 
what  this  war  has  done  to  all  of  us,  the  strain  of 
fighting  under  unparalleled  conditions,  the  strain  of 
waiting,  the  pain  of  parting,  all  marked  indelibly 
on  every  face  and  every  brow.  Even  those  who 
have  no  near  relatives  at  the  front  have  aged  years 
with  the  horrors  of  it  all. 

To  w^omen  the  world  is  especially  changed:  the 
opportunity  they  have  been  waiting  for  has  arrived 
and  they  are  showing  their  metal.  The  men  who 
gibed  at  the  women  saying  they  would  not  stick  to 
their  work  and  generally  underrated  their  capabili- 
ties and  powers  of  endurance  must  now  have  come 
to  the  conclusion  they  overrated  their  own  intelli- 
gence. 

We  women  have  wandered  long  in  an  artificial 
world  of  pretence,  where  national  affairs  were  al- 
ways left  to  the  men.    Many  of  us  have  been  busy 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS         333 

certainly  with  the  little  things  that  matter  so  much 
and  for  which  we  receive  no  credit  and  little  thanks, 
but  at  last  it  is  recognised  that  we  are  not  all  dolls, 
we  have  come  into  our  own,  and  mean  to  keep  it; 
the  opportunity  has  presented  itself  and  been  em- 
braced. 

Look,  for  instance,  at  the  real  hard  work  our 
women  are  doing  as  "chauffeurines,"  as  the  French 
people  call  them;  many  gentlewoman  have  left  lux- 
urious homes  to  go  out  and  do  their  bit,  driving 
big  heavy  ambulances  (without  wind-screens,  for 
they  are  not  allowed),  changing  as  many  as  four  or 
five  heavy  tires  in  a  day  single  handed,  keeping 
their  car  in  proper  working  order  and  ready  for 
the  daily  inspection.  In  return  for  all  this  work, 
driving  night  as  well  as  day  when  needed,  they 
receive  a  private's  pay  and  rations,  having  to  pro- 
vide their  own  kit  with  the  exception  of  the  leather 
greatcoat. 

Our  pre-war  day  chauffeurs,  who  had  several 
pounds  a  week  in  wages  and  a  washer  to  clean  their 
car  for  them,  and  who  lived  on  the  fat  of  the  land, 
would  have  given  up  their  situations  if  they  had 
been  called  upon  to  do  such  work. 

One  of  my  friends,  who  is  an  attractive  person, 
was  a  short  time  ago  driving  an  ambulance  full  of 
men  suffering  from  shell-shock.  The  orderly  who 
was  in  charge  addressed  her  through  the  window 
that  divides  the  driver  from  her  passengers  asking 
her  if  she  would  try  and  keep  her  head  as  far  away 


334         FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

from  the  window  as  possible  as  "the  men  are  very 
lovish,  and  I  cannot  answer  for  them!" 

Nobody  seems  surprised  at  anything  now.  Think, 
oh  think  of  waitresses  in  the  Athenaeum  Club! 
And  then  the  omnibus  conductresses  who,  I  am 
told,  help  to  balance  themselves  while  collecting 
fares  by  seizing  the  hair  of  the  nearest  man  who 
politely  says,  in  answer  to  her  laughing  apologies. 
"Oh,  don't  mention  it  pray,"  or  "Granted."  Even, 
"Do  it  again,  I  like  it." 

When  moving  about  the  world  now  it  is  necessary 
to  take  one's  bearings  afresh. 

One  of  my  she-male  relatives  has  been  nursing 
at  the  Russian  front  under  shell  fire  and  having  a 
most  exciting  time.  She  was  much  impressed  with 
the  patience  of  the  wounded  and  dying.  When  the 
orderlies  began  to  prepare  them  for  their  graves 
before  they  are  dead,  they  acquiesce  uncomplain- 
ingly— anxious  to  save  trouble  and  time. 

The  Russian  situation  fills  me  with  breathless  ex- 
pectation and  wonderment.  I  say  to  myself  is  this 
evolution  or  revolution?  In  a  measure  I  am  glad 
H.  H.  Prince  Alexis  Dolgorouki  did  not  live  to  see 
his  beloved  country  in  its  present  ferment,  and  yet 
he  always  longed  for  its  freedom  and  would  have 
been  profoundly  interested  in  her  efforts.  The 
Dolgoroukis  are  a  Russian  family  of  considerable 
aristocratic  and  political  fame,  having  been  on  the 
throne  years  before  the  Romanoffs  were  heard  of. 
The  present  General  Korniloff's  programme  to-day 
is  to  place  one  of  them  on  the  throne  again.    I  be- 


H.  H.  Prince  Alexis  Dolgorouki 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS         335 

lieve  the  member  of  the  family  they  have  in  their 
minds  is  Prince  Pierre  Dolgorouki  of  the  Moscow 
branch.  They  own  large  properties  and  coal  mines 
in  the  Government  of  Ekaterinoslav,  though  nat- 
urally they  do  not  get  much  from  them  at  present, 
or  from  their  estates  in  the  Crimea. 

Prince  Alexis's  eldest  brother  generally  repre- 
sented the  Tsar  at  big  functions,  such  as  King  Ed- 
ward's coronation,  the  Queen  of  Spain's  marriage, 
the  christening  of  the  Queen  of  Rumania's  child 
and  so  forth.  My  friend.  Prince  Alexis,  was  the 
third  son  of  the  Prince  Dolgorouki,  who  was  Secre- 
tary of  State  and  Privy  Seal  to  the  Emperor  Alex- 
ander II  of  Russia.  One  of  the  family,  a  Prince 
Dolgorouki,  I  forget  which,  was  Governor-General 
of  Moscow  for  twenty  odd  years.  He  died  at  the 
age  of  eighty,  having  served  under  three  Tsars. 
He  was  a  veritable  martinet,  his  word  being  law. 
All  respected,  though  many  feared  him. 

They  were  a  very  handsome  family.  Sir  H. 
Rumbolt  in  his  memories  speaks  of  them  as  the 
handsomest  family  he  ever  saw. 

Prince  Alexis  certainly  shared  the  good  looks  of 
his  two  elder  brothers  and  sister.  He  was  tall,  being 
over  six  feet;  a  very  fascinating  man,  witty  and 
amusing,  wrote  poetry,  played  the  piano,  one  of 
those  gifted  people  unable  to  stick  to  anything  long. 
The  daughter  of  his  eldest  brother  married  Prince 
Dietrichstein,  a  cousin  of  Queen  Victoria,  but  un- 
fortunately an  Austrian. 

The  Cross  of  St.  George  was  awarded  to  Prince 


336         FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

Alexis  during  the  Russo-Turkish  war.  Knowing 
English  well,  he  acted  as  interpreter  for  Archibald 
Forbes,  and  Mr.  Villiers  sent  a  sketch  of  him 
mounted  on  his  grey  Arab  to  the  Graphic.  When 
the  Prince  married  an  English  woman  Mr.  Villiers 
sent  the  original  sketch  to  Princess  Alexis  as  a  wed- 
ding present. 

When  first  the  Dolgoroukis  went  to  Braemar 
Castle,  where  they  spent  most  of  the  autumns,  they 
found  interesting  documents  relating  to  the  time 
when  a  Dolgorouki  delivered  important  papers  to 
Prince  Charles. 

Prince  Alexis  married  in  1898  Miss  Fleetwood 
Wilson,  only  child  and  great  heiress  of  Mr.  Fleet- 
wood Wilson  of  Wappenham  Manor,  Northamp- 
tonshire. I  knew  her  for  some  years  before  she 
married. 

My  first  introduction  to  her  father  came  about 
in  rather  a  curious  manner.  We  had  let  our  house 
in  Park  Lane  to  the  late  Sir  Mountstuart  Grant 
Dufif  and  his  wife  while  we  rented  for  a  few  weeks 
a  house  in  Sloane  Street.  One  day  when  I  came  in 
I  was  informed  some  game  had  come  for  me.  I 
asked  who  had  sent  it  and  was  told  there  was  no 
label  on  it,  but  a  hare  and  a  brace  of  partridges  had 
been  delivered  by  somebody's  coachman.  I  thought 
no  more  about  it,  having  come  to  the  conclusion 
some  of  my  people  had  sent  it.  A  couple  of  days 
later  I  was  informed  that  a  gentleman  had  called 
to  ask  if  some  game  had  been  left  by  mistake.  I 
wondered  if  perchance  it  was  the  game  that  had  no 


H.  H.  I'rincess  Alexis  Dolgorouki 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS         337 

label,  so  sent  word  to  ask  the  enquirer  to  come  in 
and  see  me.  It  was  Mr.  Fleetwood  Wilson,  rather 
ruffled  and  angry.  Fortunately  the  game  was  still 
untouched,  and  I  had  it  brought  up.  He  said  when 
he  sent  it  there  was  a  label  attached,  addressed,  if 
my  memory  serves  me  rightly,  to  the  Hon.  Mrs. 
Adderly,  and  there  was  a  hare  and  two  brace  of 
partridges.  Poor  man,  he  was  much  perplexed. 
The  game  had  certainly  been  left  at  the  wrong 
house,  was  not  the  amount  he  sent  out,  and  had  lost 
its  label.  Either  his  coachman,  whom  he  had  em- 
ployed for  many  years  and  valued,  had  been  telling 
him  tally-diddles,  or  I  was  doing  so.  He  could 
not  believe  it  was  the  coachman  and  did  not  like 
to  think  I  was  the  culprit. 

As  I  grew  a  little  firm,  he  said,  "Do  you  mean, 
madam,  that  my  coachman  has  been  telling  me 
lies?" 

I  replied,  "It  seems  painfully  like  it!" 

He  grunted  to  himself,  wished  me  good  day  and 
departed.  By  this  time  I  was  feeling  a  little  ruffled 
also,  but  could  not  help  laughing.  It  was  so  funny, 
the  angry  old  man  standing  one  side  of  the  game 
pointing  at  it,  while  I  sat  the  other  declining  any 
responsibility  or  culpability  in  the  matter.  Not 
very  long  after  this  I  met  him  at  a  dinner-party. 
He  asked  to  be  introduced  and  we  made  friends. 

The  Dolgoroukis  were  not  rich  latterly,  and  I 
have  always  understood  they  had  spent  freely  on 
their  country. 

I  am  glad  that  in  the  new  Russian  flag  the  double 


338         FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

eagle  is  to  remain,  as  that  was  Russian  before  the 
Romanoffs.  The  Dolgoroukis  have  it  on  their  coat 
of  arms. 

The  Alexis  Dolgoroukis  gave  delightful  parties, 
both  being  sociably  inclined  and  most  hospitable. 
Princess  Alexis  spends  a  good  deal  of  her  time 
abroad  now,  but  before  the  war  entertained  through- 
out the  year  at  Braemar  Castle,  46  Upper  Gros- 
venor  Street  and  their  villa  on  the  shores  of  the 
Mediterranean  and  in  Russia. 

It  is  not  easy  to  know  Russians  very  well,  be 
they  men  or  women ;  while  all  are  friendly  and  many 
delightful,  few  are  intimate. 

After  they  married  the  Dolgoroukis  built  a  large 
house  at  Taplow  amongst  the  trees  that  once  be- 
longed to  Windsor  Great  Park.  They  made  the 
place  very  beautiful  and  called  it  Nashdoun,  which 
is  Russian  for  "our  home." 

The  Prince  lies  in  the  peaceful  little  churchyard 
of  Hitchin  far  from  all  the  turmoil  of  his  native 
land. 

It  was  a  great  gratification  to  Prince  Alexis  and 
her  husband  that  our  English  Royalties  were  so 
kindly  and  appreciative  to  the  foreigner  in  their 
land. 

I  have  felt  very  sorry  for  Fanny,  Princess  Alexis. 
She  was  so  devoted  to  her  husband,  and  having  no 
children  feels  very  desolate. 

Great  wealth  is  very  agreeable  and  oils  the  wheels 
of  life,  but  alas,  cannot  buy  or  keep  happiness  for 
us. 


CHAPTER  XVIII 

General  Sir  Francis  and  Lady  Lloyd — Lord  d'Abernon 
Hard  at  Work  in  Egypt — The  Rev.  George  Wilkinson  in 
Eaton  Square — His  Principles  and  a  Royal  Command — 
A  Naughty  Clergyman — Ate  his  Poultices — The  Duchess 
of  Devonshire's  Ball — People  Still  Paying  the  Bills — 
Madame  de  Falbe  at  Luton  Hoo — One  of  Her  Quests 
and  a  Comforter — An  Official  View  of  Lord  Kitchener's 
Conduct  versus  the  Author's — An  Official's  View  of  Sir 
Ian  Hamilton's  Work— Sir  Charles  Douglas  Lectures 
Sir  Ian  Hamilton — Mothers  of  Men. 

SUDDENLY  I  find  I  have  arrived  at  my 
eighteenth  chapter,  with  many  happy  mem- 
ories unrelated,  but  I  must  draw  rein  or  per- 
haps my  publisher  will  look  at  me  as  an  angry 
swallow  does  a  bat,  and  my  readers  will  grow  weary. 
I  should  like  to  have  written  a  little  about  Lady 
Lloyd,  wife  of  General  Sir  Francis  Lloyd,  at  pres- 
ent commanding  the  London  district,  who  has  done 
such  strenuous  work  since  the  war  began.  When 
first  I  knew  Lady  Lloyd  she  was  pretty  Mrs. 
"Frankie"  Lloyd,  a  bright,  human,  and  charming 
companion.  She  was  then  in  Egypt  seeing  her 
husband  ofif  to  the  front,  and  very  brave  she  was. 
On  her  return  to  England,  when  they  were  in  Rut- 
land Gate,  I  used  to  dine  and  play  duets  with  her 

339 


340         FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

on  some  of  the  nights  her  husband  was  on  duty  in 
St.  James's  Palace. 

Amongst  others  crowding  my  memory  are  Lord 

D'Abernon,   the   Rev.   Moyle    (I    forget   his 

Christian  name),  Madame  de  Falbe,  a  whole  crowd 
at  the  Devonshire  House  ball  in  1897,  Lord  and 
Lady  Dormer  (the  twelfth  baron  and  his  young 
wife,  who  was  Miss  Bald  of  Monsie  Castle,  Perth), 
the  Samuel  Bakers,  Lady  Carden  of  Templemore, 
and  heaps  more,  but  I  must  write  of  them  another 
day,  only  briefly  mentioning  those  whom  at  the 
moment  my  memory  refuses  to  leave  alone. 

First  and  foremost.  Lord  D'Abernon,  who  was 
Sir  Edgar  Vincent  when  first  I  met  him,  younger 
brother  of  Sir  Howard  Vincent,  and  certainly  the 
cleverest  of  a  clever  family.  He  was  raised  to  the 
peerage  in  19 14. 

It  was  quite  remarkable  the  number  of  important 
posts  he  held  while  yet  a  young  man.  When  Finan- 
cial Adviser  to  the  Egyptian  Government  he  was 
only  twenty-five  or  twenty-six.  He  was  exceeding- 
ly good  looking  and  knew  it,  exceedingly  clever  and 
knew  it;  perhaps  a  trifle  spoilt,  but  that  was  the 
fault  of  the  women.  They  are  responsible  for  mak- 
ing men  strut  and  preen  themselves.  As  is  usual 
with  great  brains,  he  was  a  bit  of  egotist,  which 
is  only  natural.  So  few  companions  can  be  found 
with  the  same  commodity  with  whom  to  exchange 
thought. 

He  began  life  in  the  Coldstream  Guards,  where  it 
was  hardly  to  be  expected  he  would  remain  long. 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS         341 

To  an  active  clever  brain  such  a  life  would  be  im- 
possible, as  there  would  not  be  found  many  brains 
with  which  to  exchange  thoughts.  It  was,  there- 
fore, not  surprising  that,  after  a  few  years,  he  re- 
signed and  became  private  secretary  to  Lord  E. 
Fitzmaurice  when  Commissioner  for  East  Rou- 
melia. 

When  in  Egypt  we  saw  little  of  Sir  Edgar,  he 
was  always  hard  at  work.  Lord  Cromer  thought 
highly  of  his  ability  and  integrity.  I  have  not  space 
to  recount  all  the  important  appointments  he  has 
held,  but  remember  that  from  1899  to  1906  he  was 
member  for  Exeter,  and  is  at  the  present  time  Trus- 
tee of  the  National  Gallery,  also  since  191 5  Con- 
troller of  the  Central  Board  of  the  Liquor  Traffic. 

Lord  D'Abernon  married  the  beautiful  Lady 
Helen  Buncombe,  Lady  Feversham's  daughter.  I 
am  sorry  there  is  no  heir  to  inherit  the  brains  and 
good  looks  of  this  couple.  Amongst  their  homes 
they  have  a  delightful  villa  at  Venice  named  Plazzo 
Guistiniani. 

Another  who  haunts  my  memory  at  this  moment 
is  the  late  George  Wilkinson,  a  relative  of  mine, 
whose  powerful  sermons  and  squeaky,  whiny  voice, 
attracted  crowds  to  his  church,  St.  Peter's,  Eaton 
Square.  He  was  an  earnest,  good  man,  and  pop- 
ular, retaining  a  great  hold  over  his  parishioners. 
He  only  had  to  ask  for  anything  he  wanted  for  it 
to  roll  in.  His  offertories  in  church  amounted  to 
about  four  thousand  a  year,  but  it  is  well  to  remem- 
ber his  congregation  was  a  rich  one. 


342         FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

Mr.  Wilkinson  was  really  High  Church,  but  when 
he  felt  it  was  policy,  knew  when  and  how  to  put 
on  the  brake.  Nevertheless,  he  had  the  courage 
of  his  convictions,  f©r  when  ''commanded"  to  dine 
with  Royalties  one  Friday,  he  begged  to  be  excused 
as  it  was  a  fast  day.  He  never  dined  out  on  Fri- 
days. 

I  have  often  wondered  how  it  was  Mr.  Wilkinson 
escaped  being  called  Anthony;  nearly  all  the  north 
country  family  of  Wilkinson  rejoice  in  that  Chris- 
tian name. 

Another  parson  haunting  my  memory  is  the  Rev. 

Moyle  (I  forget  his  Christian  name),  but  in 

my  childhood  he  made  a  great  impression  on  my 
mind. 

He  was  vicar  of  a  church  in  Yorkshire.  A  big, 
red-faced,  red-haired  man,  reminding  me  of  the 
photographs  I  had  seen  of  Macaulay.  He  was  the 
exact  antithesis  of  George  Wilkinson,  but  an  equally 
powerful  preacher.  I  have  seen  him  move  his  con- 
gregation to  tears  by  his  eloquence,  while  shedding 
a  few  himself.  My  father  was  a  great  admirer  of 
his  rhetoric. 

He  had  been  preaching  in  our  village  church  the 
Sunday  before  we  received  the  news  that  he  had 
been  removed  into  safe  keeping  by  officers  of  the 
law,  being  unable  to  account  for  f  looo  he  had  re- 
ceived for  special  church  purposes  from  Sir  Charles 
Lowther,  and  because  certain  monies  in  his  charge 
belonging  to  a  girl  to  whom  he  was  guardian  were 
not  satisfactorily  accounted  for.    There  were  also 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS         343 

a  few  other  little  shortcoming's.  He  was  sentenced 
to  five  years'  penal  servitude,  and  the  last  I  heard 
of  him  he  was  not  well  and  had  been  removed  into 
the  prison  hospital,  where  he  insisted  in  eating  all 
his  poultices ! 

The  Duchess  of  Devonshire's  famous  fancy  ball 
in  1897  must  not  pass  unnoticed.  It  was  such  a 
great  occasion.  All  the  hairdressers  of  any  repute 
and  prestige  had  been  engaged  weeks  before  to  dress 
heads  after  certain  pictures  and  representing  cer- 
tain characters. 

My  hairdresser,  Litchenfeldt,  of  Great  Castle 
Street,  began  hairdressing  and  arranging  at  6  a.  m. 
on  the  day  of  the  ball  and  finished  at  10.30  p.  m., 
with  one  half-hour  for  refreshment. 

There  are  people  who  have  not  recovered  from 
the  effects  of  that  ball  yet,  so  heavily  had  they 
plunged  in  jewellery  to  outdo  some  of  their  friends. 
Not  so  very  long  ago  an  acquaintance  of  mine  was 
paying  off  a  long  jeweller's  bill  in  driblets  of  £10 
at  a  time.  A  few  wiser  folk  hired  priceless  jewels, 
insuring  them  heavily  for  the  brief  period  they  were 
required.  One  friend  of  mine  who  could  not  hire 
enough  to  make  the  blaze  she  required  sent  a  special 
messenger  to  Paris  who  came  back  with  a  load  and 
the  owner  of  them  to  see  all  was  right.  He  stayed 
until  after  the  ball,  and  carried  them  away  with 
him  as  well  as  a  cheque  of  four  figures  for  the  loan. 

The  clever  and  fascinating  Madame  de  Falbe,  who 
gave  such  celebrated  parties  at  Luton  Hoo,  had  a 
keen  sense  of  humour  and  much  enjoyed  a  joke.    At 


344         FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

one  of  her  big  balls  the  house  was  overcrowded  with 
guests  staying  there  for  the  occasion.  Amongst 
them  was  Mr.  Bernal  Osborne,  at  one  time  member 
for  Tipperary.  Owing  to  the  shortage  of  room, 
Madame  de  Falbe,  knowing  his  proverbial  good 
nature,  asked  him  if  he  would  mind  his  bedroom 
being  used  as  a  ladies'  cloak-room  for  a  few  hours 
on  the  night  of  the  ball.     He  willingly  assented. 

Towards  the  small  hours  of  the  morning,  when 
the  rooms  were  beginning  to  empty,  Mr.  Osborne 
thought  it  would  be  safe  to  retire  to  his  room  and 
go  to  bed.  He  put  the  thought  into  practice  and 
was  just  entering  into  his  first  beauty  sleep  when 
he  was  aroused  by  an  old  lady  and  her  daughter 
groping  about  for  their  wraps.  He  heard  the 
dowager  saying,  'T  can't  find  my  comforter,  dears!" 
The  occupier  of  the  bed  hearing  this,  sat  up  saying, 
"If  anybody  wants  a  comforter  here  I  am!" 

Tableau ! 

Madame  de  Falbe  delighted  in  this  story. 

Since  writing  my  last  volume  of  memories,  I  have 
been  told  by  a  friend  in  high  authority  at  the  War 
Ofifice  that  I  must  have  misunderstood  what  Lord 
Kitchener  said  to  me  respecting  the  Mediterranean 
command.  I  stated  he  had  refused  it,  and  had  gone 
on  a  tour  round  the  world  until  such  time  as  a  suit- 
able appointment  presented  itself.  That  certainly 
was  the  impression  he  left  in  my  mind.  The  War 
Ofifice  version  of  this  incident  is  somewhat  different. 
I  am  told  that  when  the  Duke  of  Connaught  re- 
signed the  Mediterranean  command  Lord  Kitchener 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS         345 

was  approaching  the  end  of  his  tenure  as  Com- 
mander-in-Chief in  India.  He  was  offered  the  post 
resigned  by  the  Duke  of  Connaught  and  refused  it. 

Then  King  Edward  asked  him  to  take  it  and  at 
the  same  time  to  begin  his  new  billet  by  inspecting 
the  armies  of  Japan,  Austria  and  New  Zealand, 
during  which  probationary  period  he  was  to  receive 
£io  a  day  ''all  found,"  as  the  servants  say. 

My  informant  continues: 

"He  then  accepted  the  post  and  went  off  from 
India  to  Manchuria  and  Japan,  coming  back  via 
Australia,  New  Zealand,  and,  I  think,  Amer- 
ica. .  .  . 

''When  Lord  Kitchener  arrived  in  England  the 
vice-royalty  was  just  coming  vacant,  and  he  made 
up  his  mind  to  run  all  he  knew  for  that  great  post. 
In  doing  so  he  felt  he  was  heavily  handicapped  by 
having  accepted  a  new  post,  so  he  put  it  that  King 
Edward  had  asked  him  to  take  the  billet,  but  that 
now  the  King  no  longer  wished  to  keep  him  to  his 
acceptance,  and  that  he  was  therefore  free  to  chuck 
it.     This  he  did  resolutely,  and  stuck  to  it. 

"The  Cabinet  tried  hard  to  make  him  change  his 
mind  and,  when  they  saw  it  was  useless,  they  offered 
the  Mediterranean  post  to  Sir  Ian  Hamilton,  v/ho 
demurred  considerably  about  accepting  it,  express- 
ing it  as  his  opinion  that  it  was  a  barren  honour, 
carrying  no  real  responsibility  or  work,  and  that 
he  did  not  care  to  accept  the  post  unless  new  duties 
were  added  which  would  give  more  scope  for  his 
energies.     Accordingly   the   Inspector-Generalship 


346         FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

of  Over-Seas  Forces  was  tacked  on  to  the  Mediter- 
ranean command,  and  when  the  reports  Sir  Ian 
wrote,  many  of  which  have  been  acted  on  in  Can- 
ada, West  Indies,  Panama  Canal,  Australia,  Malay 
States,  Ceylon  and  China  are  put  together,  it  will 
be  realised  the  work  was  no  longer  a  sinecure." 

No  longer,  I  presume,  a  post  requiring  only  that 
some  beautiful  person  should  sit  at  Malta  and  talk 
platitudes  with  a  great  show  of  diplomatic  reserve. 

The  same  authority  goes  on  to  say  that  he  does 
not  agree  with  me  that  Lord  Kitchener  regretted  not 
returning  to  Egypt  when,  in  19 14,  he  was  asked  to 
stay  and  help  us  out  of  our  trouble  with  Germany. 
On  the  contrary,  he  was  straining  every  nerve  to 
get  to  the  War  Office  instead  of  returning  to  Egypt. 

This  is  the  official  view  of  the  situation.  Mine 
was  gathered  from  what  Lord  Kitchener  told  me, 
or  at  any  rate  wished  me  to  understand.  No  doubt 
the  official  perspective  differed  from  Lord  Kitchen- 
er's, which  may  account  for  little  discrepancies. 

Amongst  the  congratulations  and  kind  letters  I 
received  from  those  who  knew  me  and  others  who 
wrote  through  my  publisher,  the  one  I  valued  most 
was  from  Sir  Ian  Hamilton,  saying  he  thought  I  had 
drawn  a  most  faithful  likeness  of  the  life  and  char- 
acter of  his  old  friend  and  comrade,  Sir  Charles 
Douglas.  This  pleased  me  coming  from  one  who 
knew  Sir  Charles  so  well,  as  he  was  the  character 
I  had  found  it  the  most  difficult  to  portray  faith- 
fully, doing  justice  to  his  great  abilities  while  recog- 
nising his  disabilities. 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS         347 

I  still  feel  I  have  hardly  done  justice  to  his  great 
devotion  to  duty,  which  he  carried  almost  to  ludi- 
crous lengths.  The  following  may  perhaps  give  a  lit- 
tle idea  of  how  all-embracing  his  duties  were  accord- 
ing to  his  own  rendering.  In  the  long  ago  days  of 
Sitapur  about  1878,  when  we  were  all  together  in 
that  little  station,  Mr.  Douglas,  then  adjutant  of  the 
92nd  Gordon  Highlanders,  had  a  heart  to  heart 
talk  with  young  Mr.  Hamilton,  telling  him  he  was 
permitting  me  to  take  up  too  much  of  his  thoughts, 
they  belonged  to  the  92nd  Gordon  Highlanders  (in 
very  big  capital  letters),  and  it  was  his,  the  adju- 
tant's, duty  to  see  that  the  regiment  got  the  lion's 
share  of  every  subaltern's  attention. 

This  was  rather  rough  on  Mr.  Hamilton,  but  I 
think  he  comforted  himself  with  the  reflection  that 
he  was  face  to  face  rather  with  a  social  rival  than 
with  a  military  superior. 

However,  the  little  storm  in  the  Sitapur  tea-cup 
blew  over  quite  happily,  for  when  the  adjutant  went 
on  his  two  months'  leave  to  the  hills,  he  selected 
Mr.  Hamilton  to  act  for  him  as  adjutant  and  even 
allowed  him  to  ride  on  parades  his  famous  and 
hideous  charger  "Rhinoceros,"  so  called  because  of 
the  bump  on  his  Roman  nose. 

Looking  back  over  those  old  times  when  the  adju- 
tant considered  it  his  duty  to  drill  and  read  lectures 
to  Mr.  Hamilton  on  the  advantages  of  parades  ver- 
sus flirtations,  it  has  struck  me  as  most  curious  that 
these  two  officers  who,  after  their  early  days,  hard- 
ly met  for  thirty  years,  and  who  had  nothing  in  com- 


348         FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

nion  except  perhaps  an  ancient  affection  or  admira- 
tion for  myself,  with  the  most  different  tempera- 
ments conceivable,  should  have  arrived  together  at 
the  top  of  the  military  tree,  and  should  be  considered 
by  the  bigwigs  in  authority  as  alike  as  two  peas  in 
a  pod,  and  interchangeable,  Sir  Charles  Douglas, 
relieving  Sir  Ian  Hamilton  in  the  southern  com- 
mand, and  Sir  Ian  taking  his  place  as  Adjutant- 
General  to  the  Forces.  But  I  was  a  little  behind 
the  scenes  and  knew  some  of  the  reasons  for  the 
game  of  "General  Post." 

It  may  not  strike  anyone  as  strange  who  did  not 
know  the  character  and  temperament  of  the  two 
men  as  well  as  I  did.  To  me  it  has  always  seemed 
extraordinary. 

It  is  at  all  times  difficult  to  write  biographies,  or 
even  brief  sketches  of  those  we  have  loved  or  cared 
for  who  have  been  part  of  our  lives,  especially  when 
they  have  at  all  times  been  unfailingly  good  and 
kind  to  oneself.  Even  in  the  very  brief  sketches  I 
have  tried  to  give  of  my  friends  and  acc|uaintances, 
I  have  found  it  difficult  not  to  look  too  closely  at  the 
pictures.  I  have  had  to  stand  them  a  little  way  off 
to  grasp  the  surroundings  and  exact  colouring. 
Many  are  no  longer  with  us,  and  death  so  dominates 
the  rest,  making  the  past  so  hard  to  deal  v/ith  faith- 
fully and  justly. 

I  have  searched  at  times,  with  frenzy,  though 
happily,  amongst  my  memories  for  what  I  would 
like  to  chronicle,  trying  above  all  things  not  to  blaze 
forth  the  things  that  have  been  kept  hidden  or  the 


FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS         349 

things  that  have  been  entrusted  to  our  honourable 
keeping,  when  those  who  trusted  us  are  no  longer 
masters  of  the  situation,  no  longer  able  to  defend 
themselves  or  explain  the  whys  and  wherefores,  and 
I  should  not  like  any  I  have  mentioned  to  say  with 
Zechariah,  "I  was  wounded  in  the  house  of  my 
friend,"  for  that  is  what  hurts. 

The  written  and  spoken  word  sometimes  has  a 
way  of  getting  up  and  hitting  us  as  it  did  with  poor 
Ruskin,  the  tragedy  of  whose  life  lay  in  the  fact  that 
the  girl  he  loved  rejected  him  because  he  could  not 
conscientiously  accept  her  doctrines,  which  he  him- 
self had  preached  and  taught  her. 

I  hope  before  another  book  of  mine  is  launched 
upon  the  world  the  peace  we  all  long  for  may  be  with 
us,  and  yet  I  dread  the  day  when  with  bands  play- 
ing, bonfires  burning,  church  bells  ringing,  our  men 
come  marching  home,  for  it  will  be  a  day  of  agony 
to  many  whose  dear  ones  are  not  amongst  the  vic- 
torious legions. 

I  think  sometimes  the  part  we  mothers  of  men 
have  played  in  this  war  has  not  been  fully  recog- 
nised. It  is  harder  to  sit  and  wait  than  it  is  to  go 
and  fight,  and  harder  still  to  say  "Thy  will  be  done" 
when  "our  all"  has  been  done  to  death.  With  agony 
we  mothers  brought  into  the  world  the  men  we  are 
now  asked  to  give  up  with  a  twofold  agony  and  no 
word  of  complaint  comes  from  us  as,  with  a  drear 
smile  that  tries  to  be  cheerful,  we  bid  them  "God 
speed,"  though  we  know  that  death  will  probably 
claim  them  and  thousands  more.    We  must  be  for- 


350         FURTHER  INDISCRETIONS 

given  if  we  sometimes  say  to  ourselves  "What  shall 
it  profit  us  if  we  gain  the  whole  world  and  lose  our 
only  son?" 

The  reason  and  the  only  reason  why  we  have  not 
gone  under  during  this  war  has  been  because  of  the 
mothers'  sons'  big  hearts  and  bravery.  Organisa- 
tion has  not  done  it,  discipline  has  not  done  it  nor 
wealth  of  material  and  money,  but  the  splendid 
hereditary  instinct,  the  love  of  home  and  the  mother 
that  makes  it,  that  is  what  is  winning  us  this  war. 
Hundreds  and  thousands  have  gone  away  cheerily, 
even  gaily,  knowing  well  they  were  only  going  to 
fill  a  gap  for  a  short  time,  and  then  others  will  take 
their  place,  and  no  word  goes  forth  of  what  was  in 
those  dead  men's  hearts. 

Few  men  know  what  home  means  to  them  until 
some  tragedy  brings  it  to  their  hearts,  and  even  then 
they  cannot  always  find  the  right  label  for  their 
feelings,  but  if  they  could  it  would  be  Home  and 
Mother. 

There  is  so  much  that  is  absolutely  inexplicable 
about  the  situation,  both  at  home  and  abroad,  espe- 
cially to  those  who  occasionally  catch  glimpses  be- 
hind the  scenes.  We  miss  our  war  correspondents 
who  told  us  what  was  taking  place,  now  we  have  to 
learn  it  from  the  foreign  newspapers. 

But  as  we  grow  older  and  more  resigned: 

"The  soul's  dark  cottage,  battered  and  decayed, 
Lets  in  new  light,  through  chinks  that  time  has  made." 

THE   END 


INDEX 


Adams,  v.  c,  Rev.  J.  W.,  43,  i34 
Alexandra,  Queen  Mother — 
her  consideration   for  others, 

166 
her  interest  in  "Persimmon," 

163 
names    brother    of    "Persim- 
mon," 163 
portrait  with  dogs  painted  by 

Lacretelle,  164 
at  Sandringham,  164 
her  sense  of  humour,  163 
Anglesey,  fifth  Marquess  of,  27 
Archer,  Fred,  jockey,  262,  277 

Bachelor,  Capt.,  144 
Baird,  Mr.  Abingdon,  8-10,  13 
Baird,  Mr.  Douglas,  8 
Balfour,    Rt.    Hon.    A.   J.,    115, 

201,  202 
Bancroft,  Mrs.,   10 
Bath,  Marquess  of,  279 
Bathe,  Sir  Hugh  Gerald  de,  13 
Beaconsfield,  Earl,  271,  272,  283, 

284 
Beaumont,   Commander,  98,  99, 

100 
Belleroche,  Marquise  de,  330 
Benzon,  Mr.,  25,  26 
Bernhardt,  Mme.  Sarah,  11 
Bessborough,  Lady,  4 
Bismarck,  Prince,  208-210 
Bolckow,  Mr.,  171-176 
Bolckow,  Mrs.,  174 
Bowles,  Mr.  T.  Gibson,  300 
Braddon,  Miss,  104 
Brampton,  Lord,  259,  260,  275- 

278 
Breadalbane,  Lord,  297,  298 
Brewer,  Mr.  Charles,  259,  260 
Brown,  John,  169-171 
Brown-Potter,  Mrs.,  3 
Brownrigg,  Gen.,  241 


Burn,    Capt.    Charles,   202 
Burnaby,  Rev.   E.,  271-273,  279, 

280,  317 
Burne,  Sir  Owen,  223-229. 
Burnham,  Lord,  102,  103 
Byng,  Gen.  the  Hon.  Sir  Julian, 

298,  299 

Campbell,  Lady  Colin,  197-199 
Cardigan,  Lady,  141,  153,  308,  309 
Carteret,   Mr.    de.   Governor   of 

Jersey,  7 
Cassavetti,  Mme.,  197 
Cathcart,  third  Earl,  132,  134 
Cecil,  Lady  Sophia,  211-213 
Chamberlain,  Mr.  Austen,  117. 
Chamberlain,  Mr.  Joseph — 
characteristics  of,  114,  115 
devotion  to  his  family,  117 
fondness  for  children,  115 
his  quarrels  with  his  friends, 

takes  part  in  private  theatri- 
cals, 106,  107 
Chaplin,  Lord,  14,  15,  86 
Chesham,  Lady,  260,  262 
Chetwynd,  Sir  George,  15,  23-27, 

259,  264 
Chetwynd,  Lady,  14-16,  23 
Cholmondeley,  Mr.  Henry,  137 
Clarke,  Col.  Sir  Stanley,  46,  47 
Cleveland,  late  Duchess  of,  199 
Clinton,  Miss  Ethel,  162,  163 
Coleridge,    Lord    Chief    Justice, 

23,  103 
Connaught,  Duke  of,  51,  171-175, 

272 
Cooch    Behar,    Maharajah    of, 

203-207 
Corbett,  James  J.,  pugilist,  9 
Costobadie,  Rev.  Hugh  Palliser, 

29 
Cotton,  Fred,  249,  250 


351 


152 


INDEX 


Coventry,  Lord,  149 

Crawford,  Mr.  Stirling,  143,  145, 

146,  148,  153 
Crespigny,    Sir    Claude   de,  226, 

246 
Custance,  jockey,  85-88 
Cuthell,  Capt.,  ^^ 

D'Abernon,  Lord,  340,  341 
Devonshire,  late  Duke  of,  114 
Dilke,  Sir  Charles,  60 
Disraeli,  Mr.  Coningsby,  284 
Dolgorouki,  Prince  Alexis,  334- 

338 
Dolgorouki,   Prince  Pierre,  334, 

335 
Dolgorouki,      Princess     Alexis, 

336-338 
Douglas,  Sir  Charles,  346-348 
Douglas,  Lady  James,  160 
Downe,  Ladv,  166-169 
Dudley,  Earl  of,  8 
Dudley,  Georgina,  Countess  of,  4 
Durham,  Earl,  23 

Edinburgh,    late    Duke   of,    145, 

146 
Edward  VII— 
admiration    for    Lady    Moles- 
worth,  304 
advises  Duchess  of  Montrose, 

149 
anecdotes  of,  47-49 
appreciation  of  Mrs.  Langtry, 

8 
asks  Lord  Kitchener  to  take 

Mediterranean        command, 

.344 
his  attack  of  typhoid  fever,  51 
attended  by  Sir  Wm.  Jenner, 

35 
coronation  of,  236-238,  335 
frequents  pigeon-shooting 

matches,  145,  146 
gifted  public  speaker,  169 
gives   bouquet   to   Mme.   Ade- 

lina    Patti,    12 
interested  in  racing,  163 
knights  Sir  H.  Irving,  in 
present    at    ball    at    Hamilton 

Palace,  80 
stays  at  Blankney,  86 


Edward  VII— 

tries  Dr.  Yorke-Davies'  treat- 
ment, 46,  47 

win?  his  first  Derby,  163 
Edwardes,  Mr.  George,  13 
Ely,  Lady,  168 
Esterhazy,  Prince,  71 
Exmouth,  Lady,  54,  55 
Exmouth,  Lord,  54-56 

Falbe,  Mme.  de,  340,  343,  344. 
Fitzgerald,  Sir  Maurice,  48 
Fitzsimmons,  Bob,  pugilist,  9 
Forster,   Mr.    Carnaby,   77-79 
Eraser,  the  late  Sir  Wm.,  61,  62" 
French,      Field-Marshal      Lord, 
294-296 

George  V,  238 

Gilmour,  Mr.  Graham,  324-327 

Godson,  Dr.,  30-32,  124 

Grain,  Mr.  Corney — 
anecdotes  of,  97,  98,  loi 
appears  in  private  theatricals, 

105,  106 
description  of,  97,  98 
practical  joke  played  by,  99 
reason    for    becoming    society 

entertainer,  96 
as  witness  in  lawsuit,  102 

Grant  of  Glenmoriston,  Mrs.,  311 

Greenock,  Lord,  134 

Greenwood,  Mr.  Charles,  25,  26, 
83 

Grenfell,  Admiral,  246,  251 

Griffin,  Sir  Lepel,  205 

Grimshaw,  Jim,  jockey,  16 

Guildford,  late  Earl  of,  263-265 

Gull,  Sir  Wm.,  51,  52 

Halkett,  Baron,  105 
Hall,  Jim,  pugilist,  9 
Hamilton,  twelfth  Duke  of — 

buys  "Cortolvin,"  71 

description  of,  80 

at  Donington  Hall,  16 

his    fondness    for    racing  and 
hunting,  81 

his  fluency  in  French,  91 

generosity  of,  90,  91 

gives     ball     to     Royalties     at 
Hamilton  Palace,  80 


INDEX 


353 


Hamilton,  twelfth  Duke  of — 

at  Oxford,   71,  72 

racing  anecdotes  of,  81-86 

run  with  harriers,  88 

strict  Sabbatarian,  91 
Hamilton,  Duchess  of,  78,  87 
Hamilton,  Lady  Mary,  78,  79 
Hamilton,  Sir  Ian,  67,  345-348 
Harborough,  Lady,  279,  280 
Harborough,  Lord,  279 
Harcourt,  Lady,  200 
Harcourt,  Sir  William,  113 
Harris,  Sir  Augustus — 

appears  in  private  theatricals, 
105-108 

his  care  in  staging  his  plays, 
112 

designs  ladies'  dresses,  109 

as  freemason,  no 

gives  performance  at  Windsor 
Castle,  no 

knighthood  of,  in 

as  Sheriff  of  City  of  London, 

no.   III 

stands  bail   for  Oscar  Wilde, 
113 
Harvey,    Mrs.    George,   99,    139, 

140 
Hastings,  Lord,  14-19 
Hobson,  Pulsford,  16 
Hood.  Marion,  118 
Hopetoun,  Lord,  139 
Hugo,  Victor,  285,  286 

Inderwick,  q.  c,  Mr.  F.  A.,  107 

Jenner,  Sir  William,  34-36,  51 
Jersey,  Dean  of,  5-7 
Johnstone,    Sir   Frederick,  8,  9, 
148,  153 

Kelly,  Sir  Fitzroy,  287 
Kesteven,  late  Lord,  89 
Kinnaird.  late  Lord,  272,  273 
Kinsky,  Prince,  71 
Kitchener,  late  Earl,  344-346 
Knatchbull,  Colonel,  6,  7 
Knatchbull,  Mrs.,  5,  6 

Labouchere,  Mr.  Henry,  91,  102- 

105 
Lacretelle,  M.,  164 


Langtry,  Mrs.,  2,  5,  7,  8,  10,  13, 

134 
Langworthy,  Mr.,  124-132 
Langworthy  case,  123-132 
Lavis,  Dr.,  50,  51 
Leatham,  Mr.  Henry,  88 
Leinster,  Duchess  of,  4 
Lees,  Capt.  Harry,  203 
Lewis,  Sir  George,  278 
Lind,  Letty,  117,  118 
Lister,  Lord,  33,  34 
Lloyd,  Lady,  339 
Lockwood,  Sir  Frank,  24 
Lonsdale,  Dowager  Lady,  32 
Lonsdale,  Gladys,  Lady,  4 
Lowther,  Sir  Charles,  288,  289 
Lowther,  Mr.  James,  23,  148,  199, 

200,  260 
Lumley,  Mr.  Theodore,  129-131 
Lurgan,  Lord,  26,  27 
Lyndon,  Lady  Lina,  139 
Lytton,  Lord,  268-270 

Macbean,  Gen.  Forbes,  320 
Macclesfield,  Lady,  165,  166 
Mackenzie,  Sir  Morell,  148 
Maddon,  Lady  Caroline,  139,  140 
Malet,  Sir  Edward,  197 
Malet,  Lady  Ermyntrude,  196 
Manchester,  Louise,  Duchess  of, 

4 
Maple,  Sir  Blundell,  22 
Mathers,  Helen   (Mrs.  Reeves), 

30,  314 
Maxwell,    Mr.,   104 
Maycock,  Sir  Willoughby,  104 
Mecklenburg-Schwerin,  Duchess 

Paul  of,  32 
Mills,  Harry  or  "Brusher,"  186- 

191 
Milman,  Col.,  313 
Milner,  Mr.  Henry,  143,  152 
Minto,  late  Earl  of,  37 
Mitchell,  Charles,  pugilist,  9 
Modjeska,  Mme.,  10 
Molesworth,  Lady,  120,  301-305 
Monro,  Sir  Charles,  205 
Montrose,      Caroline,      Duchess 
of— 

accident    at    Hurlingham    to, 

145-147 
a  great  sportswoman,  142 
and  jockey,  152 


354 


INDEX 


Montrose,      Caroline,      Duchess 
of— 

marriages  of,   143,   152 
racing  adventures  of,  147-153 
scratches     favourite     for     the 
Cambridgeshire,  148 

Morley,  Mr.  John,  114 

Mostyn,  Lady  Mary,  139 

Munro,  Kate,  162 

Napoleon  III,  41 

Nelson,  Lady,  160,  161 

Neville,  Lady  Dorothy,  40,  271, 

304 
Newcastle,  Duchess  of,  160 
North,  late  Col.,  21,  22 
North,  Professor,  56 

Oppenheim,  Mrs.,  197 
Ormonde,  Marchioness  of,  262 
Orton,     Arthur,    the     Claimant, 

Osborne,  Mr.  Bernal,  344 

Paget,  Lord  Alfred,  162 
Paget,  Sir  James,  35-37 
Parnell,  Charles,  194,  196 
Patti,  Mme.  Adelina,  li,  12 
Peck,  Mr.  Robert,  257,  307,  308 
Pellew,  Hon.  Wm.,  56 
Pellew-Bradshaw,  Mrs.,  56 
Persia,  Shah  of,  225-228 
Pipon,  Mr.,  6,  7 
Pless,   Princess  Henry  of,  3 
Pocklington,  Mrs.,  200 
Portal,  Sir  Gerald,  202 
Portland,  late  Duke  of,  59 
Postlethwaite,  Mrs.,  309 
Poulett,  sixth  Earl,  ^,  70,  71 
Poulett,  seventh  Earl,  70 
Priestley,   Dr.,  22 

Queensberry,  late  Marquess  of, 
226,  227,  245-252 

Reeves,    Mrs.     See   Helen   Ma- 
thers 
Ripon,  Lady,  5 
Roberts,  late  Earl,  60 
Ros,  Lady  de,  212 
Rose,  Lady  Cecilia,  134 
Rosslyn,  late  Lord,  18 


Rossmore,  Lord,  3 
Russell,  Earl,  313 
Russell  of  Killowen,  Lord,  23 
Russell,  Sir  Baker,  yy 
Rustem  Pasha,  48 

Sartorious,  v.  c.  Col.  Reginald, 

219,  221 

Saumerez,  Admiral  de,  6,  7 
Saumerez,  Mrs.  de,  6 
Shaw,  Capt.  Sir  Eyre,  99,  198 
Shaw,  Col.  E.  W.,  219,  220 
Slade,  Major,  203 
Smith,  Capt.  Arthur,  87 
Soltykoflf,  Prince,  162,  163 
Stamford,  Lady,  305-309 
Stamford,  Lord,  305,  307 
Stannard,  Mrs.  Arthur,  50 
Steel,  Mrs.  Flora  Annie,  314 
Stewart,  Sir  Donald,  35 
Storey,  Fred,  70 
Storey,  Miss,  70 
Stride,  Ruben,  182-185,  190 
Sutherland,  Duchess  of,  313 
Sutherland,  third  Duke  of,  312 
Sykes,  Lady,  I35-I37 
Sykes,  Sir  Tatton,  135-138 

Temple,  Archbishop,  237,  238 
Thompson,  Sir  Henry,  40,  41 

Vaughan,  Cardinal,  51 
Verner,  Mr.  Fred,  231,  232 
Victoria,  Queen — 
her  admiration  for  Lord  Bea- 

consfield,  271 
attempted  assassination  of,  171 
and  Col.  Valentine  Baker,  168 
courtesy  of,  167 
Diamond  Jubilee  of,  163 
dislike  for  speechmaking,  169 
and  German  Emperor,  168 
and  John  Brown,  169-171 
love  of  fresh  air,  167 
her    personal    interest    in    Sir 

Wm.  Jenner,  35 
resentment    against    Duke   of 

Sutherland,  313 
sends  for  Sir  Owen  Burne,  223 
and  Shah  of  Persia,  225-228 
sympathy  of,   169 
vetoes       pigeon-shooting      at 
Hurlingham,  145 


INDEX 


355 


Vigne,  Captain,  207,  208 
Vivian,  Mr.  Glynn,  138 
Vivian,  Mrs.,  139 

Webster,  Mrs.  R.,  3 
Wemyss,  Earl  of,  247 
West,  Colonel  Cornvirallis,  3 
Westj.  Mrs.  Cornwallis,  3,  134 
West,  Dr.,  33 
West,  Mr.  Temple,  303 
Westminster,  Duchess  of,  3 
Westminster,  first  Duke  of,  257- 

262 
Wheeler,  Mrs.,  3,  134 


White,  Lady,  197 
Wilberforce,  Bishop,  166,  167 
Wilde,  Oscar,  113,  194,  195,  252 
Wilkinson,  Bishop,  341,  342 
Wilkinson,  Peter,  16 
William    II,    German    Emperor, 

168 
Williams,  Sir  Monier,  34 
Wilton,  Lord,  19 
Winchester,  late  Earl  of,  267 
Wood,  jockey,  23-25 

Yorke-Davies,    Dr.,    46,   47,   49, 
SO 


n\5  n3 


JUa      000  236  785    2 


